2PM + my ego: Your Every Desire [extra notes]
Hey, all right, so in light of the facts that 1) this fic was the longest that I have ever written, and 2) it was based on the lyrics and music video of a K-pop song, I felt that the entire thing merited some sort of well-intentioned explanation. I doubt very many people (ie. no people) will read this post, but I’ve wanted to write it since I first submitted my fic, so here we are, I am doing it. You are, of course, are under no obligation to read this; it should contribute absolutely nothing to the actual fic itself. It’s more of a summation of side notes and “by the way”s and “oh so I wrote this because”s I had about the story, which I am just going to go ahead and call the “Official Commentary” because hey, this is probably my only chance in my whole life where I can say I am producing a commentary, so I am going to shamelessly use it. What’s that? Keep it to myself? I am not familiar with that saying.
I also have some things to say about the kpop_olymfics in general, and they are just my opinions only, mind, and I’m definitely not planning to push them on anyone else. I’m just sharing because I can. Certainly no offense is meant to anyone - and don’t worry, I can summarise it for you right here: it’s just ranting about how I wished people participated more earnestly in the competition. :)
Okay, here we go!
Part I. The plot.
I.A. ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
When I first signed up for kpop_olymfics, I specified that I would be fine with being put into any of the four teams: AU, AR (alternate reality), Canon, or Future. I seriously did not have a preference, but I was extremely happy to be put into Team AU. I love writing AUs. (Who is surprised by this). I like how I can just go wild with the universe and plot, and I like how I’m not limited by details about the “canon” that I have little knowledge about (e.g. say, I was writing about producing a song - I would actually have to research this process to make it credible, or not write about it at all). AUs are fun, and I really wanted to make a great AU for this competition. It wasn’t a genre that I’d touched yet with 2PM, but I wrote a lot of AU for Arashi, so I was looking forward to trying it out with K-pop.
I’m very meticulous with my AUs though. Even if I don’t mention each character’s backstory, I need them to have one, and more than that, I need a) their backstory explain any discrepancies in characterization that may exist (I hope there aren’t any, but it’s an issue that’s always up for debate), and b) their backstory to give them motivation to follow through the events that I would eventually write for them. The story has to make sense, right? AU is not an excuse for going nuts with logic and consequence. This is why I don’t always enjoy fics that are like, “Oh, person X grows a tail out of the blue! Everyone has fun with it and accepts it as a part of person X by the end of the day, the end.” Because - well, where did the tail come from? How can a human grow a tail? I’d need to make an explanation: oh, person X had a genetic mutation that only announced itself at puberty; this genetic mutation was known by the parents but they decided to keep quiet because of reason Y; in the future (as in after the fic “finishes”), result Z will have to happen because person X has a tail, and so forth. I try my best to make the universe realistic. So even if it’s some supernatural setting, everything makes sense, and events flow normally and believably within that setting.
This is one reason that I always write so much for AUs. I have to explain everything (or enough of everything so the story’s logic isn’t lacking), because it’s a completely new universe. Lots of AU writers don’t need to do this, but idk, maybe I am OCD this way or something. I don’t usually do research for my fics (I’m really lazy) so it’s not like I’m trying to bog the reader down with useless details about the world, but I just have this urge to explain why this character makes this choice or that choice. So I will not pay too much attention to what Nichkhun’s shop looks like, but it matters to me how Nichkhun manages his shop. (Corollary: I also tend to write a lot about what a certain character is feeling, and their internal monologue, because I hope that it helps further decipher his or her motives. Does that make sense? I think it tires some people out, reading through all of that emotional gunk. D: I’m working on getting more concise with it, I swear.)
Also, though, I always write a lot for AUs because I think of long plots. This habit... probably will not change anytime soon OTL.
Kind of an aside here, but: I try (and I’m not saying that I’m successful) to do explain things in a way so it doesn’t read like I’m explaining things, like it’s a nature documentary. “Wooyoung lives with his parents and his grandmother in a convenience store in a small shopping district. His father has a bad temper and sometimes hits Wooyoung. Wooyoung likes to dance.” No one would read this happily! To me, an AU has to read like everything is completely canon. In canon, no one would bother introducing Wooyoung’s difficulties with his father because it’s general knowledge in 2PM fandom. So in the AU, it is the same. Wooyoung doesn’t explain his father to the reader because he would not think that way, since he’s already living that life. This is probably the best example I can think of (perhaps you can think of better ones!) the “show, don’t tell” method of writing. For example: “Wooyoung has to go home early to help his mom close the shop or she’ll ground him” - this shows immediately that Wooyoung’s family owns a shop, Wooyoung has responsibilities towards his parents, and his parents are a bit strict. OKAY LMAO sorry this isn’t a fucking writing lesson, I’ll stop. It also helped me to take information from real life and incorporate it into the AU; I hope that it makes the characterization truer. For example, for this fic, here’s a partial list of “facts” I took and applied to my plot:
- Wooyoung helped out his mother with the shop when he was a kid (from this I inferred that his family owned the shop)
- Wooyoung’s grandmother helped raise him
- Wooyoung likes books (backstage pictures often show him reading)
- Wooyoung’s father did not approve of Wooyoung career choice (singer, dancer, idol)
- Wooyoung’s father now phones Wooyoung to offer encouragement/criticism (whether it’s constructive or not is anyone’s guess) - but Wooyoung had to work really hard for many years to win this approval
- Wooyoung’s father once caught Wooyoung practising dancing and threatened to destroy his practise room
- All the 2PM members had a bad first impression of Wooyoung because he just sat in his seat and stared at them and didn’t introduce himself or make conversation or anything (from this - and some other things - I inferred that he’s not too adept at making friends)
- Junho, from before debut, has gotten endless comments about looking like Rain
- Jay had a huge, life-changing scandal
- Taec auditioned in NYC to become a model, flew to Korea to enter a talent competition, and got eliminated from Superstar Survival in the first round; he tried again later and got accepted
- Khun lived abroad in New Zealand and the States in his youth and has travelled a lot (I embellished on the number of countries he’s lived in for the fic)
I tried to apply the person’s character to the situation too. We all know Junho is really ambitious and loves practising and wants to stand out - so, okay, let’s put that in this setting, and give him a reason for that in the form of a famous older brother who he resembles a lot. He wants to exceed his brother and be known for this own talent, and this accounts for Junho’s primary motivation in the story. The fact that he has a famous older brother too also opens other doors, plot-wise, which obviously I ended up taking advantage of.
Another thing that I had to be careful of was to include all the 2PM members. I will write a little more about how agonized I was writing about all of them when I talk about characterization, but I really wanted to include all of them. The plot I chose ended up shedding less light on Junsu in comparison to the others, and I didn’t like that, but I also didn’t want to push Junsu into a bigger role because in the end, the story was not about him. So I tried to compensate by giving him something interesting to do, at least, lmao. (POOR JUNSU! I swear I like him.) But yes, okay, so we have seven boys in a totally different world - how would they meet? Are some of them already friends? Who is the “catalyst” for the plot of the fic? A lot of questions! And I couldn’t just go nuts and be like ROBOT COWBOYS VS ZOMBIE NINJAS IN SPACE!!! I had to follow the prompt! SO!
I.B. THE PROMPT
I signed up for f(x)’s Chu~ voluntarily, if you can believe that. Honestly, I went through all of the song prompts and they were mostly all “why are you being this way, I love you, love, you make me sad/crazy/depressed, love,” and were kind of sombre-toned. Chu~ though, was really upbeat and fun and when the prompts were first revealed, and I had no semblance of plot whatsoever, I chose it because I had assumed I’d write a humour fic (as was my wont) and it seemed applicable to a humourous setting, which I would be able to finish quickly and in less than 10,000 words (at the time I had a lot of school stuff on my plate and I wanted to write a good AU, but preferably not a long one). Anyway, we can see where that led us. :-[
Anyway, I ended up taking the prompt a bit too literally. I got the translation here and I personally felt the song has very little substance in it (no hate though, I friggin love this song), so I latched onto the lines:
I am trusting this trembling heart
Oh please open the doors of reality for me and
When I dream in a little blue bird’s cage and
Grow up! Grow up! Grow up! and especially
Fluttering and the excited heart brings out the fairytale vibe
This line too: Just like her, who woke up on the moment when the lips met - I had planned to have a big role for it because it worked really well with the fairy tale line, and it would have made the fic more romancy, but the plot shirked itself away from this, so whatever. I managed to work it in one place though! Haha. PS. I can’t really write romance so it was probs for the best that I didn’t focus on stuff like ~*tru luv’s 1st ki$$*~ or anything like that. DO I HEAR A SIGH OF RELIEF FROM YOU? There was definitely one from me.
So even though the song is presumably (at least to my interpretation) about learning about kissing and sex, but I went, like so many before me, the route of the fairy tale. I thought it would make a really interesting fic, if nothing else. My reasoning went kind of like this: fairy tale --> fable --> moral --> applicable to the real world --> childhood dreams getting busted --> opening your eyes to “reality” --> growing up. So, yeah, that was basically my basis for the plot. Lame in retrospect y/y?
As for the setting, I wanted to incorporate some of the elements of the music video into the story, so we got the “white bird cage” room as Nichkhun’s heart of the shop, and the eclectic mess that was the main stage in the MV sort of leant itself to the idea of a curiouso shop. So, bam! Shops. Magical, fairy tale shops! Magical, fairy tale shops that can travel the world and teach you lessons about real life?? Why not!
On the kpop_olymfics entry post, a reader chuchama mentioned that the fic reminded her of a mix between XXXholic and Howl’s Moving Castle. THIS WAS AN AMAZING COMMENT TO ME BECAUSE THAT WAS KIND OF MY THOUGHT PROCESS TOO! Okay so I didn’t intentionally base Nichkhun’s shop on Yuuko’s shop, because I was actually thinking more of “equivalent exchange” à la Full Metal Alchemist (wow is my nerd showing yet), but the more I thought about it, the better Yuuko’s shop seemed to fit into the kind of plot I wanted. So I just went with it. I acknowledged in my author’s notes in my fic submission that the shop was based on the one from XXXholic, but unfortunately this was in my revised author’s notes sent in another email to the olymfic mods, so I guess they forgot to read it and added my first set of notes instead. Well, credit to where credit is due, of course. Thank you Clamp! btw XXXholic is making no sense at all to me these days, I seriously do not understand a thing that is going on in that confusing mess of a manga
As for Howl’s Moving Castle - I’ve seen the Miyazaki movie, but haven’t read the book, but you know that scene in the end where SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER Sophie and Howl are streaming through the sky in Howl’s ginormous house and there’s like laundry blowing in the breeze and the sky is perfect and blue and Howl and Sophie kiss while the wind blows through their hair? I WANTED THIS FOR WOOYOUNG AND KHUN! The original ending that I had planned was Wooyoung deciding to leave his “normal life” and go off with Khun on grand adventures in Khun’s magical shop, despite knowing the truth of Khun’s shop, because he wants to stay with Khun. In the original plot, much of the “fairy tale being broken” aspect was supposed to be applied to Khun’s shop, in that it’s so amazing and perfect and shiny at first glance, but it has dubious goals and can grant bad, hurtful wishes, so if you look a little deeper, the shop is really a dangerous thing and Khun is a dangerous person. A large bit of this idea still made it through to the final fic, but I’m glad I focused more on Wooyoung’s life being the reality he wanted to escape from, rather than Khun’s “evil” shop being the reality revealed. I had to constantly remind myself while writing this shit that the story was about Wooyoung -- yes, the plot also revolved around Jay and Khun, but the story was Wooyoung’s POV only, and so all the problems we saw had to be based on him. Therefore, the truth of Khun’s shop is important, but it had to come second to Wooyoung finding peace at home.
But yeah! I can see how Khun might remind someone of Howl, especially with all that “sorcerer” cheesiness that I was throwing at you guys at regular intervals. ;)
Also, from the song, the line about the bird’s cage was supposed to refer to Wooyoung at first, in the sense that he’s stuck at home and unable to see the big wide world as he wants to, but really it applies to Nichkhun, who does see the big wide world for what it really is (e.g. people’s greed, people’s desperation) but is a slave to his own shop and his own desire to help others. There is a lot about Khun’s backstory that was not explained since there wouldn’t be a time Wooyoung would be privy to this information - like, I only wrote vaguely about how Jay’s transaction broke, and I didn’t really delve into the significance of Jay’s mom giving Khun Jay’s CD - but I am thinking of maybe writing a sequel/prequel to this fic, to get that story out there. ngl I like shopkeeper!Khun. To me his history is very interesting all on its own.
never mind the fact that when I say I will write sequels I inevitably never write them
I.C. WRITING PROCESS (or lack of it)
This is going to sound so “unprofessional” (SNORT SNORT) of me, but I actually had no idea HOW the story was going to end until I was about 3/4 of the way done with writing the fic. Augh, my horrible secret revealed! I mean, I knew the general direction that I wanted to take with the fic, but even as I got to Junsu’s part, the conclusion just sat there in the back of my mind like a murky blob with a big fat TBD label stuck across it. I knew I needed Jay’s heart to die, and I knew I needed Wooyoung to bring Jay to the Khun’s shop, but everything else was up in the air. As more exciting things started to happen, I kept on changing the ending, because this or that plot hole would pop up and alter the direction of the story, and it was seriously frustrating. One reason for my frustration was that in the beginning, since I was still going with the theme of opening eyes/seeing reality = opening Wooyoung’s eyes to the “dark side” of Khun’s shop, the fic’s climax was a scene where Junho had wished to be famous, like Taec, and had traded his eyesight for them. There was a whole symbolic thing with his eyes being the price, too, which I won’t bother you with here, but basically Junho collapses, blind, and Chansung is like screaming himself hoarse, and Khun is like, I’m sorry, I can’t undo a transaction, and Wooyoung is like HOLY FUCK WHY IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS. This, in fact, was the first entire “scene” that I wrote for this fic. (If you want to read it, scroll down to Part III.)
Why was I so obsessed with this ending, you ask? Because I wanted to be all cool and shit and make Khun grant 7 wishes throughout the story, because of the 7 members of 2PM. So it was going to be like this: Jay wished for his scandal to die, Taec wished for his fame, Junsu wished to get his music heard, Junho wished to be greater than his brother (it was a significantly darker fic I had in mind), and Chansung ended up wishing away his physical strength to save Junho (again, there were reasons for this - if anyone is achingly curious, I’ll be happy to go on, but for now, this is whole post is already getting way longer than I expected). Wooyoung was going to pull an Aladdin and wish for Khun’s freedom (like Khun is the Genie, rofl, my brain), after Khun’s wish/heart saved Junho, Chansung and Jay. I am completely retarded; I had it in my head that each wish was supposed to teach Wooyoung some kind of lesson or something ridiculous and each wish would contribute to his decision of not using HIS wish for his own needs, but for Nichkhun. Ah, yeah, there was this “each customer only gets one wish” sort of deal going on. Thank goodness I got rid of that, boy. SO MANY NEEDLESS COMPLICATIONS! Can you even imagine how long this fic would have been if I had factored in all those wishes? Wooyoung didn’t even end up making a transaction and it still was 52,000+ words! Crazy cakes.
Guys, if you ever think my plots are too complex, please please please let me know. I try very, very hard to make them easy to follow and yet interesting enough to not be entirely predictable, but there is always more story in my mind than actually gets written down by keyboard, so I might assume you guys understand things that you actually don’t. It’s like, the original plot I think of when I get really excited at the prospect of a new fic is 100% plot, and by the end, due to me wanting to keep things simpler and the flow right and for my own sanity, the resulting plot is maybe 70% of the original, and only 10% of that has gone in the direction I first intended it to. I’m always really glad to streamline my plots and make them simpler though, because I like reading easy-to-follow plots (even if there are many layers/themes to a story, it doesn’t have to be hard to follow, right?), so I hope I do an acceptable job creating them.
Anyway, as per my usual, I ended up leaving a lot of the writing (and planning, even, oh God) to the very last minute, which is why the author’s notes on my fic submission said that only three parts of the fic got beta’d. At the time, it was true! essyllus and mrsatterthwaite read over bits for me, but it was seriously the day before my fic was due, and I didn’t want to dump all 52K on either of them, so I went through the rest myself. Torturous, wow, since I’d been doing nothing but write that fic for the last week or so. My saving grace came when the fic postings got delayed because the mods were waiting on Team AR’s official status, so I took that extra day to reread my fic and spot any errors (of which there were a lot). A few days later I got paranoid again and re-read the ending of my story and noticed, horror upon horrors, a plot hole I hadn’t caught before. I hurriedly fixed it the best I could and emailed a desperate plea to the mods, and they kindly accepted this newest version. The plot hole had to do with Nichkhun not being able to turn back time (because of how I made Khun explain it before, it should have been impossible for Wooyoung’s father to turn back time for his wish). DJALGHFDJKA it was so stressful, sobbing. T___T I really had not expected the story to turn out so long and I almost considered not adding the little fairy tale excerpts in between because I was so sick of writing it all (and they were the last part I wrote). I think the fic could have been better had I taken more time with it, and had someone help me beta all of it, but I didn’t have the time. So I’m sorry everyone, but I did my best, please forgive me.
I was nearly driving myself nuts though, with the ending. I didn’t actually decide to sacrifice Wooyoung’s dad’s heart until basically I had finished writing the Wooyoung “bathed in a sea of red” part and sat blankly at my computer for long, long minutes, asking myself what the hell I was supposed to do now. ANYWAY I am glad it resolved itself nicely, thank you brain for pulling through for me!!!! Let’s never think of this misery again. Looking back on it though, the ending was a very easy one, yet I think it’s much better than some of the other complicated endings I had originally planned for the fic. Oh lawd. (This is the same thing that happened to me with Death Ray, my Arashi fic! What is the matter with me!)
Okay that’s enough about the plot. OH, WHAT? primroseshows, there’s more you want to talk about? How big can your ego possibly be?
Oh, dearest. You might be surprised.
Just kidding, I jus wanna rant.
Part II. The characterization.
I don’t have too much to say here, other than it was so hard for me to start writing this fic. During the months that I was working on it, 2PM was still a volatile fandom, and especially after the disaster of a fan conference happened, I had no idea how to characterize the members anymore. With all the negative sasaeng fan rumours going around, I was wondering if those were really the “true” personalities of 2PM, and if so, if I wanted to make my characterization believable, was I obligated to write them that way? Or was it better for me to go on writing 2PM as I always had, while knowing that many fans no longer saw them as those kinds of individuals? I was pretty conflicted, honestly, though I preferred to write them as I always had (less thinking for me, in any case.) The first set of author’s notes I wrote (right after the fan conference information came out) was about apologizing for any differences in how I characterized them and in how they might “really be,” and to ask any readers to just pretend the conference never happened. I guess I really didn’t need to worry, since the AU took care of most of the chances I had to write the members either really good or really douchey, because they were thrust in different situations. So in the end I tried to make each member recognizable, at least, in the way they talked and reacted and the roles they played in the story.
That’s why we have Chansung and Junho as Wooyoung’s friends and support group: Chansung a happy-go-lucky kind of guy but a little bit clueless and a little bit of a jerk, Junho a strong-willed, honourable person who doesn’t like taking advantage of fame that isn’t his but at the same time is desperate to do what it takes to get his own name noticed, and Wooyoung as a slightly loner-ish student, who has a rough family life and would rather escape through his books than talk about it. And there’s Taec, who is friendly and charismatic, but he can’t help but be a little selfish inside. There’s Junsu, whose music meant everything to him, but is really impatient to get the world to hear it. And Jay, who didn’t want to disappoint his family or his friends and would rather shoulder any blame by himself, no matter the consequences. And there’s Khun, who has good intentions and cares for his friends, but knows his place in the world, and most importantly, likes Wooyoung.
I hope that each member’s personality was believable and consistent. I wish I had more time to develop the characters of Junho and Chansung, because (from the original ending) I had planned for them to make very interesting transactions with Nichkhun, and their friendship with each other and with Wooyoung was supposed to be a huge theme within the fic. Had I gone with the conclusion where Wooyoung tied himself to the shop with Khun, I would have had Wooyoung erase himself from Junho and Chansung’s memories, and he would have been sad but ultimately okay with it, because the two of them had each other and the depth of their friendship would be something Wooyoung realized through the wishes they made. (WHY YES, I am a big fan of Chanho, why do you ask.)
By the way, I by no means think that Wooyoung’s father actually abuses him in real life - that was all purely from my own imagination.
One thing I really didn’t like about my writing this was how I wrote Khun speaking. He speaks Korean a lot more fluently in the fic than I think he ought to, realistically, but it was kind of unavoidable since he had so much to explain and his role was so large. Well, I hope it still came across that Khun found Korean difficult because he hadn’t planned to be there in the first place. Wooyoung, too, I had some issue with. I had hoped to make him more humourous, because he’s apparently a very funny and witty guy, but there weren’t that many chances in the story for him to show off that talent. Sigh. Ah, well.
Okay I’m going to stop talking about all this now. If there are any questions about anything at all, please feel free to ask. It’s the first time I’ve done something like this, where I explained a lot of my thought processes, so I don’t know if it was terribly boring or terrifically boring. LMAO please rest easy; I will probably never do something like this again. (The commentary, not the fic.) Oh! And any concrit about the fic is loved, of course. I’m really happy with the votes I got but there were two voters who seemed to hate it and, on the very, very, very slim chance that either of them are browsing my fic journal (why hello there), it’d be awesome if you guys could share your opinion about what I could improve on. :) Thanks!
Part III. The deleted scenes!
OKAY SO HERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT WERE CUT OR CHANGED FOR GOOD REASON! PLEASE ENJOY?
1. The first ending.
This can't be real, Wooyoung thinks.
It can't.
Things like this just don't happen in real life, because there is a certain way in which the world works, following rules of physics and biology and common sense, and what's happening right now has none of the above. This can't be real life because this is impossible.
"Wooyoung," Chansung pleads, his voice wet and raw as he clutches at Junho's body, strokes roughly at Junho's unconscious face. "Do something!"
Do what, Wooyoung thinks. Do what, what can I do, this isn't even happening, this can't be happening, not like this. His insides feel cracked, broken, and he can't even form a coherent sentence out of his lips. He feels nauseous. He wants to wake up.
Junho still hasn't opened his eyes and out of the mad swirl of thoughts rampaging through Wooyoung's mind, he thinks that he's little relieved about this, in some hysterical way, because he doesn't want Junho to wake up and prove that impossible things are possible after all. As long as Junho is still unconscious, there is still a chance that this has been nothing but a big, fat, stupid joke. A nightmare, some sick fantasy, created solely by Wooyoung's own twisted mind, an accumulated result of all the horror stories Wooyoung has read through the years and never quite got over.
Through Chansung's sobs and the rush of blood in his ears and someone else's heaving breaths (who was that, breathing so close to Wooyoung, so disconcerting, it was making him light-headed), Wooyoung can hear Taecyeon shouting at Nichkhun.
"What have you done?" Taecyeon is yelling. "You have to fix this!"
"He made a wish," Nichkhun is saying back. "He wanted this."
"He didn't want this! How could he possibly want this?!"
And Junsu's yelling too, kneeling down on Junho's other side, taking his hand. "Junho, man, come on, it'll be all right, just open your eyes."
"There's no point," Nichkhun says gently, sadly. "It's already been done."
Chansung makes a whining sound high in his throat, like he's being strangled. "No, fuck you, Junho, come on--"
"Khun--" Taec grabs Nichkhun by his collar, holds out a fist like he's about to hit him. "You can do something, I know you can. You're the owner of this shop, aren't you? This is your power, isn't it?!"
Nichkhun shakes his head, looks steadily at Taecyeon, then at Junho's body, lying still on the groud. "I'm sorry, but this was the price he had to pay," he murmurs.
Taeyeon's fist rears back; Nichkhun winces, but Taec hits the wall instead. The shelves rattle. "This isn't--"
"The price was fair."
"You can't just--"
"I'm sorry, I really am," Nichkhun whispers, and retreats to his backroom.
"Wooyoung, help," Chansung begs, and Wooyoung has never seen him look this desperate before. "You've been working here, right? He listens to you, right? Make Nichkhun change his mind! Make him undo this!!"
But Wooyoung can't. He has no idea what he can do. He can barely keep steady on his own feet right now. The person gasping and heaving, struggling for breath like he's about to die, it's Wooyoung. The person who is standing immobile while his world is blowing up around him, it's Wooyoung. The person who doesn't want to believe any of this is happening, but in his heart knows that it is, all of it, Chansung crying, and Taecyeon and Junsu helpless, and Junho's wish and Nichkhun taking his payment, Nichkhun needing Junho's payment, Nichkhun going to his backroom now, going to do that, and Junho is blind -- Wooyoung knows none of this is a dream.
If this is the kind of thing that happens in the realm of fantasy, then Wooyoung would prefer real life, after all.
How in the world had it come to this?
Don't just stand here, he tells himself furiously. Think back. You've been here since this the beginning. You know how this works. Figure out how to change this. Think about how this all started.
Go back to the start.
2a. Junho meets Jay for the first time; texts Wooyoung.
He'd sent the following text messages while Wooyoung was downstairs having dinner:
hey where r, u get here now!!! NEWS
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pick up!!!
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ugh >___>;;;;;;;
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the news: wooyoung u know that guy whos always hangin around during our practises?? hes a really good dancer!!!!!!
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i caught him dancing, by himself. no music but was still good. rly rly impressed. he sort of froze when he saw me tho. i wnated him on the team. i called after him, tried to talk but he ws very awkward im sorry 2 say :( left quickly.
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btw hes fr overseas, couldnt speak Korean very well >:O a little frustrating i will admit
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wy if we get him for our team we will definitely win the tournament this yr keke~
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need to talk to him again..... if he ever shows up again. hopefully.
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where r u~? dont tell me ur grounded again
And then the following messages from Chansung:
WOOYOUNGIE wtf junho is ttly obsessde w this guy, get here now 2 talk snese in him!! im like, is this dude better than ur bro & hes all 'no one is better than my bro ok but thid guy is still great omg must get him on our team omg must get him to teach me all his skills!!!! etc' junho is 222 intense
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i think this guy was rly good or smth, otherwise, i bet junho is half jealous lol
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wooyoung wooyougn wooyoung wooyongggg where rrr ruuuuuuuuu
2b. Another first time meeting Jay.
"Hm." Wooyoung watches as the shorter guy bows quickly to Junho and leaves the building. Junho jogs back to the crowd, smiling as he notices Wooyoung.
"Hey, glad you made it. Got your dad to let you out this week?"
Wooyoung purses his lips. "I would have come anyway. But he had to pick up a late shift at the factory. It worked out."
"I see," Junho says. "Well, as long as you don't get into trouble."
"It'll be fine," Wooyoung says flatly. "Who were you talking to, over there?"
"Oh, that guy." Junho brightens. "I got here early to practise today, and I saw him--"
"How early," Chansung demands.
"An hour."
"You're nuts."
"I just need the practise," Junho says. "Anyway, I came early, and he was the only guy here. I guess he didn't hear me come in because he just kept on dancing. He was very, very good. Like, really good. At first I was going to dance too, but he was doing these very unique moves, so I just sat down and watched. He didn't even have music, and he danced for almost half an hour. And as soon as some of the other guys started coming in, he grabbed his stuff and left. I wanted to talk to him, so I chased after him."
"Did you want him to join our team or something?" Chansung asks.
"I just wanted to know where he'd learnt all those moves, frankly," Junho says. "He seemed kind of uncomfortable with talking to me, but I guess he was too polite to not answer or something. He said that he used to bboy with some friends in his neighbourhood, but stopped for personal reasons. I told him that he was welcome to dance with us, but he said no. Maybe he was in a hurry to get home or something. He didn't even tell me his name." Junho sighs, and looks back at the exit where the other person had left. "It seems a shame though. I hope he comes back. He was really good; it would have been great if he could teach me stuff."
3. Another way Khun and Wooyoung could have met.
Further up the street, there's a person hobbling forwards while struggling with a mountain of small decorated boxes. The top box on the pile wobbles precariously and falls down to the sidewalk. The person lets out a loud sigh and tries to reach down for it without bending over, but topples a few more boxes in the process. Wooyoung tsks.
"Hold still," he says peevishly, picking up the fallen boxes and handing them back to their owner. He pauses. A pair of huge brown eyes blink at him, from a gap between the planes of pastel colours Oh, Wooyoung thinks. It's the shopkeeper of Dreamhouse.
"Hi," the guy says, smiling. "Put them on top, please."
"Hello," Wooyoung returns slowly, and adds the fallen boxes to the top of the pile with care.
"Thanks."
"It's fine," Wooyoung says, and turns to go.
The other guy's voice stops him. "Your family runs the convenience store up the street, right?"
4. Nichkhun and Wooyoung’s first breakfast together.
The next morning, Wooyoung examines his bruises in the mirror and proclaims their healing rate unsatisfactory. He sighs; another missed day of school. And he might have to skip dance practise too, which will be a huge disappointment.
Breakfast, just like last night's dinner, is a bit of an awkward affair. On Wooyoung's side of things, anyway. For all of Nichkhun's friendly smiles, he's not a very talkative person, and after a few attempts to engage Wooyoung into casual conversation fall flat ("Nice weather yesterday, huh." "I guess. I didn't go outside at all." "Oh yeah. Me neither, really."), falls into a slightly tense silence that makes both of them stare more at their rice bowls than at the other person. It's not Wooyoung's fault. He's never been that great at small chat. It's not that he has nothing to say. Once Wooyoung gets talking it's hard for him to stop, but it's just getting there that's the problem.
While most of his attention is on the plate of leftover vegetables Nichkhun had cooked last night (not spicy at all), Wooyoung catches a few instances of Nichkhun starting to say something, stop, then shutting his mouth and turning back to his own food with a frustrated expression. It occurs to Wooyoung that he should probably make more of an effort not to make his host so uncomfortable. It's not as if Wooyoung is uncomfortable with Nichkhun -- well, he is, but he's a lot less uncomfortable than Wooyoung thinks he could be, considering they barely know each other -- it's just that it takes time for Wooyoung to ease into a relationship. He doesn't know what kind of person Nichkhun is yet. People with brash personalities like Chansung just dive into the deep end and expect the other person to meet them there. Wooyoung likes to assess the environment, test the waters first. He supposes it's a trait he grew up with.
But Nichkhun was kind enough not to prod at Wooyoung for details about his home life yesterday. Wooyoung supposes that Nichkhun must have sensed that he'd been upset and hadn't wanted to think about it. Nichkhun had let Wooyoung spend the rest of the day upstairs, tidying up his own room, while he handled the shop by himself. After dinner in the tiny kitchen behind the main store, he'd said he had some shop work to do, wished Wooyoung good night, and gone into a locked room across the hall which Wooyoung assumed was Nichkhun's office. Wooyoung was certain that Nichkhun was giving Wooyoung his space. And Wooyoung's not a total dickhead, he appreciated that.
So he calmly looks over at Nichkhun now and says, "You don't have to be so careful and polite to me. If you want to know something about me, then just ask. Stop worrying about offending me or something."
Nichkhun blinks at him, half of his mouth full of rice. "I -- what? Oh. Oh, sorry."
"I mean," Wooyoung goes on, "you're doing me a huge favour by letting me stay here and stuff, and I don't want to seem ungrateful."
"You don't," Nichkhun says quickly.
"And you must have questions about my family--"
"It's not really any of my business," Nichkhun says.
"And you have no reason to trust me--"
"You don't either," Nichkhun says.
"What?"
"You don't have reason to trust me either," Nichkhun repeats, slowly, as if testing out the words on his tongue for the first time.
"I," Wooyoung says. He really doesn't. "Why the hell would you say something like that? Are you trying to freak me out or something?" He puts down his chopsticks angrily. "Because if you've got a split personlity of some homicidal axe maniac, you better tell me now, or I'm going to be pretty pissed off later."
Wooyoung says this perfectly seriously (those kind of things happened all the time in his books, and even though Wooyoung knows this is real life, no part of Nichkhun's shop so far seems strictly "normal"), but Nichkhun starts laughing loudly.
"You're really funny, Wooyoungie," Nichkhun says, and just like that, the tension is gone.
5. Let’s not forget Junho is a dork.
"Wooyoung, are you paying any attention?" Junho says, waving a hand in front of Wooyoung's face.
Wooyoung blinks and lifts his chin out of his hand. "Yes, of course," he lies, and flips through a few pages of his textbook.
"Daydreaming again," Chansung yawns, tapping his pencil against his desk.
"Yes, and I can clearly see how you're using your time valuably," Junho says sarcastically, pointing at Chansung's paper, full of tic-tac-toe games. Wooyoung leans over and scribbles in an O to ruin Chansung's two-X streak. "Have fun failing the class, you two."
"We will," Chansung chirps, drawing a new grid.
"Will we?" Wooyoung asks, surprised.
"Sure," Chansung grins. "You can work in Nichkhun's shop for the rest of your life. I'm going to be a famous actor. Junho will get a chance to be a great dancer, but then decide to go to university instead."
Junho scoffs and lifts up his textbook so his face is blocked from Wooyoung and Chansung.
"He's just grouchy because Jaebeom hasn't been showing up at practise lately," Chansung whispers loudly.
6. A realization.
The reason that Wooyoung still believes in fairy tales is simple:
It's because he wants to.
7. Discord between Khun and Wooyoung.
Nichkhun stares. "You're very young, Wooyoung."
Wooyoung thinks of his father. "I'm not."
"You are, because you believe in happy endings," Nichkhun says softly. "There is no such thing."
"How old are you then?" Wooyoung retorts.
Nichkhun's face sags, and he suddenly looks very tired. "I'm old enough to know better," he says.
Wooyoung slams the door and tries to wipe Nichkhun's eyes from his mind.
8. The transaction that never was.
"There's a talent contest," Wooyoung gasps. "Next weekend."
"Would you like to win it?" Nichkhun asks. Entirely too innocently.
And oh, how Wooyoung wants to.
Part IV. The competition.
All right, let’s not mince words. Here is my biggest question: WHERE THE HELL WERE ALL THE COMMENTS!! There were over FIFTY FICS for this competition and like, BARELY ANY COMMENTS! Why? Why! I don’t understand why! Okay so I understand that if you don’t like the fic, it might be better to stay silent, but there were a lot of good fic that had no feedback at all. It made me really sad, you guys. I know that this competition had its ups and downs and lots of people had to drop out, but in the end, the fics did get written, and the effort was made, and I think that deserves commendation. It was really disheartening to see such little comment-giving when there were a decent number of people voting. Were people too shy? Too lazy? Too bitchy? Was a simple, “Hey, I liked this! Good job with the prompt!” too hard to write? fjdafl;
I had really wanted to read through as many fics as I could and comment on all of them, but unfortunately because of real life obligations and other things, I didn’t even manage to get through half the fics. @___@ (I’m still looking forward to going back sometime and browsing the comm, though.) What was ridiculous of me was that once I realized I was the only one commenting on the entries (LMAO when the first few rounds were posted, it literally was just me. Oh man you should have seen how happy I was when pregnantcigar commented on another fic ;___;), I felt embarrassed about it. Like, should I not be commenting? Was I doing something wrong? Would people take my comments the wrong way and think I was just being obnoxious? I really did not like having that feeling. I was seriously afraid that I would be wanked on because I wanted to comment. What is it about this fandom that inspires such awe, fear, love and frustration in me at the same damn time?
Maybe the fact that it was a competition made people less likely to speak up about what they liked (maybe they felt like they’d be betraying their team or something? I D K), but it was still just a fun game/challenge - moreover, it was one that encompassed the entire K-pop fandom. COME ON, with so many fics about so many groups, there had to be at least one fic that every single person found enjoyable. I hope so, at least.
Okay, okay, perhaps I am being too harsh. Voting by pressing three consecutive buttons and then “Submit” takes a lot out of a reader, I know. Right? RIGHT.
I browsed through je_ficgames too and they don’t have too many comments either, but there are decidedly more than the amount we got for kpop_olymfics. I don’t think it has to do with the size of the fandom. I think that lots of people would just rather not comment, and if they DID have something to say, they feel more comfortable saying it on an anon meme or something. I don’t really agree with this. It’s one thing to keep criticism out of the community, since it was a formal challenge thing and any crit right in the entry might be a bit harsh, but I lurked around the fic memes once in a while and there were quite a few compliments for lots of fics! So why not say them to the author and let them feel good about something they’ve written? Were people waiting for the author to post them in a formal fic comm?
(PS. To the kind commenters who left me a comment, both at the olymfic comm or at formspring: thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciated it. Really.)
Also, I found it strange that the mods seemed to ask opinions from the anon fic memes but not make an official post about the topic on the comm. Like, the extension, right? It saved my life, but I had no idea it was even up for discussion at a place that was not the official community. Does everyone besides me keep active track of those anon memes or something, gah. x__x
Anyway...
I guess I just would have liked a little more participation for this competition. And entire team dropped out, without giving ANY NOTICE beforehand. I don’t know their reasons for doing this and I presume that they are good ones, but it doesn’t leave a very nice aftertaste for the community. Lots of individual writers dropped out too, due to other commitments, and I totally understand, I do, and I really don’t blame anyone because ultimately, real life >>>>>>>> fic, but at the same time, I had team members who were writing three fics apiece just to keep the team afloat. That’s incredible of them, but I don’t like that they were put in that position in the first place. This is hard for me to justify, because I don’t bear any resentment towards ANYONE involved in this competition and I get why people needed to drop out, but I just can’t help being a little disappointed about it all. :( Hugs all around guys, can we try to do better next time? (This includes ME first and foremost, btw; I need to get my procrastination under control.)
Because I did have a good time writing my fic (most of it, anyway), and I did have a great team, and I still really like the idea of the olymfic competition. In the end, a lot of good fic was produced, so I think we have an experience to be proud of as well as learn from. So I hope it happens again, but I think we, as a ficdom, need to take a little more responsibility as well as have a little more fun with it.
Okay. Off soapbox.
If you’ve read through all of this, I would love to shake your hand one day, you wonderful person. :)
If you’d like to share your opinion with me about the competition, please feel free! I would love to hear it. Let’s be respectful towards everyone though, okay?
Thanks guys. ♥
I also have some things to say about the kpop_olymfics in general, and they are just my opinions only, mind, and I’m definitely not planning to push them on anyone else. I’m just sharing because I can. Certainly no offense is meant to anyone - and don’t worry, I can summarise it for you right here: it’s just ranting about how I wished people participated more earnestly in the competition. :)
Okay, here we go!
Part I. The plot.
I.A. ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
When I first signed up for kpop_olymfics, I specified that I would be fine with being put into any of the four teams: AU, AR (alternate reality), Canon, or Future. I seriously did not have a preference, but I was extremely happy to be put into Team AU. I love writing AUs. (Who is surprised by this). I like how I can just go wild with the universe and plot, and I like how I’m not limited by details about the “canon” that I have little knowledge about (e.g. say, I was writing about producing a song - I would actually have to research this process to make it credible, or not write about it at all). AUs are fun, and I really wanted to make a great AU for this competition. It wasn’t a genre that I’d touched yet with 2PM, but I wrote a lot of AU for Arashi, so I was looking forward to trying it out with K-pop.
I’m very meticulous with my AUs though. Even if I don’t mention each character’s backstory, I need them to have one, and more than that, I need a) their backstory explain any discrepancies in characterization that may exist (I hope there aren’t any, but it’s an issue that’s always up for debate), and b) their backstory to give them motivation to follow through the events that I would eventually write for them. The story has to make sense, right? AU is not an excuse for going nuts with logic and consequence. This is why I don’t always enjoy fics that are like, “Oh, person X grows a tail out of the blue! Everyone has fun with it and accepts it as a part of person X by the end of the day, the end.” Because - well, where did the tail come from? How can a human grow a tail? I’d need to make an explanation: oh, person X had a genetic mutation that only announced itself at puberty; this genetic mutation was known by the parents but they decided to keep quiet because of reason Y; in the future (as in after the fic “finishes”), result Z will have to happen because person X has a tail, and so forth. I try my best to make the universe realistic. So even if it’s some supernatural setting, everything makes sense, and events flow normally and believably within that setting.
This is one reason that I always write so much for AUs. I have to explain everything (or enough of everything so the story’s logic isn’t lacking), because it’s a completely new universe. Lots of AU writers don’t need to do this, but idk, maybe I am OCD this way or something. I don’t usually do research for my fics (I’m really lazy) so it’s not like I’m trying to bog the reader down with useless details about the world, but I just have this urge to explain why this character makes this choice or that choice. So I will not pay too much attention to what Nichkhun’s shop looks like, but it matters to me how Nichkhun manages his shop. (Corollary: I also tend to write a lot about what a certain character is feeling, and their internal monologue, because I hope that it helps further decipher his or her motives. Does that make sense? I think it tires some people out, reading through all of that emotional gunk. D: I’m working on getting more concise with it, I swear.)
Also, though, I always write a lot for AUs because I think of long plots. This habit... probably will not change anytime soon OTL.
Kind of an aside here, but: I try (and I’m not saying that I’m successful) to do explain things in a way so it doesn’t read like I’m explaining things, like it’s a nature documentary. “Wooyoung lives with his parents and his grandmother in a convenience store in a small shopping district. His father has a bad temper and sometimes hits Wooyoung. Wooyoung likes to dance.” No one would read this happily! To me, an AU has to read like everything is completely canon. In canon, no one would bother introducing Wooyoung’s difficulties with his father because it’s general knowledge in 2PM fandom. So in the AU, it is the same. Wooyoung doesn’t explain his father to the reader because he would not think that way, since he’s already living that life. This is probably the best example I can think of (perhaps you can think of better ones!) the “show, don’t tell” method of writing. For example: “Wooyoung has to go home early to help his mom close the shop or she’ll ground him” - this shows immediately that Wooyoung’s family owns a shop, Wooyoung has responsibilities towards his parents, and his parents are a bit strict. OKAY LMAO sorry this isn’t a fucking writing lesson, I’ll stop. It also helped me to take information from real life and incorporate it into the AU; I hope that it makes the characterization truer. For example, for this fic, here’s a partial list of “facts” I took and applied to my plot:
- Wooyoung helped out his mother with the shop when he was a kid (from this I inferred that his family owned the shop)
- Wooyoung’s grandmother helped raise him
- Wooyoung likes books (backstage pictures often show him reading)
- Wooyoung’s father did not approve of Wooyoung career choice (singer, dancer, idol)
- Wooyoung’s father now phones Wooyoung to offer encouragement/criticism (whether it’s constructive or not is anyone’s guess) - but Wooyoung had to work really hard for many years to win this approval
- Wooyoung’s father once caught Wooyoung practising dancing and threatened to destroy his practise room
- All the 2PM members had a bad first impression of Wooyoung because he just sat in his seat and stared at them and didn’t introduce himself or make conversation or anything (from this - and some other things - I inferred that he’s not too adept at making friends)
- Junho, from before debut, has gotten endless comments about looking like Rain
- Jay had a huge, life-changing scandal
- Taec auditioned in NYC to become a model, flew to Korea to enter a talent competition, and got eliminated from Superstar Survival in the first round; he tried again later and got accepted
- Khun lived abroad in New Zealand and the States in his youth and has travelled a lot (I embellished on the number of countries he’s lived in for the fic)
I tried to apply the person’s character to the situation too. We all know Junho is really ambitious and loves practising and wants to stand out - so, okay, let’s put that in this setting, and give him a reason for that in the form of a famous older brother who he resembles a lot. He wants to exceed his brother and be known for this own talent, and this accounts for Junho’s primary motivation in the story. The fact that he has a famous older brother too also opens other doors, plot-wise, which obviously I ended up taking advantage of.
Another thing that I had to be careful of was to include all the 2PM members. I will write a little more about how agonized I was writing about all of them when I talk about characterization, but I really wanted to include all of them. The plot I chose ended up shedding less light on Junsu in comparison to the others, and I didn’t like that, but I also didn’t want to push Junsu into a bigger role because in the end, the story was not about him. So I tried to compensate by giving him something interesting to do, at least, lmao. (POOR JUNSU! I swear I like him.) But yes, okay, so we have seven boys in a totally different world - how would they meet? Are some of them already friends? Who is the “catalyst” for the plot of the fic? A lot of questions! And I couldn’t just go nuts and be like ROBOT COWBOYS VS ZOMBIE NINJAS IN SPACE!!! I had to follow the prompt! SO!
I.B. THE PROMPT
I signed up for f(x)’s Chu~ voluntarily, if you can believe that. Honestly, I went through all of the song prompts and they were mostly all “why are you being this way, I love you, love, you make me sad/crazy/depressed, love,” and were kind of sombre-toned. Chu~ though, was really upbeat and fun and when the prompts were first revealed, and I had no semblance of plot whatsoever, I chose it because I had assumed I’d write a humour fic (as was my wont) and it seemed applicable to a humourous setting, which I would be able to finish quickly and in less than 10,000 words (at the time I had a lot of school stuff on my plate and I wanted to write a good AU, but preferably not a long one). Anyway, we can see where that led us. :-[
Anyway, I ended up taking the prompt a bit too literally. I got the translation here and I personally felt the song has very little substance in it (no hate though, I friggin love this song), so I latched onto the lines:
I am trusting this trembling heart
Oh please open the doors of reality for me and
When I dream in a little blue bird’s cage and
Grow up! Grow up! Grow up! and especially
Fluttering and the excited heart brings out the fairytale vibe
This line too: Just like her, who woke up on the moment when the lips met - I had planned to have a big role for it because it worked really well with the fairy tale line, and it would have made the fic more romancy, but the plot shirked itself away from this, so whatever. I managed to work it in one place though! Haha. PS. I can’t really write romance so it was probs for the best that I didn’t focus on stuff like ~*tru luv’s 1st ki$$*~ or anything like that. DO I HEAR A SIGH OF RELIEF FROM YOU? There was definitely one from me.
So even though the song is presumably (at least to my interpretation) about learning about kissing and sex, but I went, like so many before me, the route of the fairy tale. I thought it would make a really interesting fic, if nothing else. My reasoning went kind of like this: fairy tale --> fable --> moral --> applicable to the real world --> childhood dreams getting busted --> opening your eyes to “reality” --> growing up. So, yeah, that was basically my basis for the plot. Lame in retrospect y/y?
As for the setting, I wanted to incorporate some of the elements of the music video into the story, so we got the “white bird cage” room as Nichkhun’s heart of the shop, and the eclectic mess that was the main stage in the MV sort of leant itself to the idea of a curiouso shop. So, bam! Shops. Magical, fairy tale shops! Magical, fairy tale shops that can travel the world and teach you lessons about real life?? Why not!
On the kpop_olymfics entry post, a reader chuchama mentioned that the fic reminded her of a mix between XXXholic and Howl’s Moving Castle. THIS WAS AN AMAZING COMMENT TO ME BECAUSE THAT WAS KIND OF MY THOUGHT PROCESS TOO! Okay so I didn’t intentionally base Nichkhun’s shop on Yuuko’s shop, because I was actually thinking more of “equivalent exchange” à la Full Metal Alchemist (wow is my nerd showing yet), but the more I thought about it, the better Yuuko’s shop seemed to fit into the kind of plot I wanted. So I just went with it. I acknowledged in my author’s notes in my fic submission that the shop was based on the one from XXXholic, but unfortunately this was in my revised author’s notes sent in another email to the olymfic mods, so I guess they forgot to read it and added my first set of notes instead. Well, credit to where credit is due, of course. Thank you Clamp! btw XXXholic is making no sense at all to me these days, I seriously do not understand a thing that is going on in that confusing mess of a manga
As for Howl’s Moving Castle - I’ve seen the Miyazaki movie, but haven’t read the book, but you know that scene in the end where SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER Sophie and Howl are streaming through the sky in Howl’s ginormous house and there’s like laundry blowing in the breeze and the sky is perfect and blue and Howl and Sophie kiss while the wind blows through their hair? I WANTED THIS FOR WOOYOUNG AND KHUN! The original ending that I had planned was Wooyoung deciding to leave his “normal life” and go off with Khun on grand adventures in Khun’s magical shop, despite knowing the truth of Khun’s shop, because he wants to stay with Khun. In the original plot, much of the “fairy tale being broken” aspect was supposed to be applied to Khun’s shop, in that it’s so amazing and perfect and shiny at first glance, but it has dubious goals and can grant bad, hurtful wishes, so if you look a little deeper, the shop is really a dangerous thing and Khun is a dangerous person. A large bit of this idea still made it through to the final fic, but I’m glad I focused more on Wooyoung’s life being the reality he wanted to escape from, rather than Khun’s “evil” shop being the reality revealed. I had to constantly remind myself while writing this shit that the story was about Wooyoung -- yes, the plot also revolved around Jay and Khun, but the story was Wooyoung’s POV only, and so all the problems we saw had to be based on him. Therefore, the truth of Khun’s shop is important, but it had to come second to Wooyoung finding peace at home.
But yeah! I can see how Khun might remind someone of Howl, especially with all that “sorcerer” cheesiness that I was throwing at you guys at regular intervals. ;)
Also, from the song, the line about the bird’s cage was supposed to refer to Wooyoung at first, in the sense that he’s stuck at home and unable to see the big wide world as he wants to, but really it applies to Nichkhun, who does see the big wide world for what it really is (e.g. people’s greed, people’s desperation) but is a slave to his own shop and his own desire to help others. There is a lot about Khun’s backstory that was not explained since there wouldn’t be a time Wooyoung would be privy to this information - like, I only wrote vaguely about how Jay’s transaction broke, and I didn’t really delve into the significance of Jay’s mom giving Khun Jay’s CD - but I am thinking of maybe writing a sequel/prequel to this fic, to get that story out there. ngl I like shopkeeper!Khun. To me his history is very interesting all on its own.
never mind the fact that when I say I will write sequels I inevitably never write them
I.C. WRITING PROCESS (or lack of it)
This is going to sound so “unprofessional” (SNORT SNORT) of me, but I actually had no idea HOW the story was going to end until I was about 3/4 of the way done with writing the fic. Augh, my horrible secret revealed! I mean, I knew the general direction that I wanted to take with the fic, but even as I got to Junsu’s part, the conclusion just sat there in the back of my mind like a murky blob with a big fat TBD label stuck across it. I knew I needed Jay’s heart to die, and I knew I needed Wooyoung to bring Jay to the Khun’s shop, but everything else was up in the air. As more exciting things started to happen, I kept on changing the ending, because this or that plot hole would pop up and alter the direction of the story, and it was seriously frustrating. One reason for my frustration was that in the beginning, since I was still going with the theme of opening eyes/seeing reality = opening Wooyoung’s eyes to the “dark side” of Khun’s shop, the fic’s climax was a scene where Junho had wished to be famous, like Taec, and had traded his eyesight for them. There was a whole symbolic thing with his eyes being the price, too, which I won’t bother you with here, but basically Junho collapses, blind, and Chansung is like screaming himself hoarse, and Khun is like, I’m sorry, I can’t undo a transaction, and Wooyoung is like HOLY FUCK WHY IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS. This, in fact, was the first entire “scene” that I wrote for this fic. (If you want to read it, scroll down to Part III.)
Why was I so obsessed with this ending, you ask? Because I wanted to be all cool and shit and make Khun grant 7 wishes throughout the story, because of the 7 members of 2PM. So it was going to be like this: Jay wished for his scandal to die, Taec wished for his fame, Junsu wished to get his music heard, Junho wished to be greater than his brother (it was a significantly darker fic I had in mind), and Chansung ended up wishing away his physical strength to save Junho (again, there were reasons for this - if anyone is achingly curious, I’ll be happy to go on, but for now, this is whole post is already getting way longer than I expected). Wooyoung was going to pull an Aladdin and wish for Khun’s freedom (like Khun is the Genie, rofl, my brain), after Khun’s wish/heart saved Junho, Chansung and Jay. I am completely retarded; I had it in my head that each wish was supposed to teach Wooyoung some kind of lesson or something ridiculous and each wish would contribute to his decision of not using HIS wish for his own needs, but for Nichkhun. Ah, yeah, there was this “each customer only gets one wish” sort of deal going on. Thank goodness I got rid of that, boy. SO MANY NEEDLESS COMPLICATIONS! Can you even imagine how long this fic would have been if I had factored in all those wishes? Wooyoung didn’t even end up making a transaction and it still was 52,000+ words! Crazy cakes.
Guys, if you ever think my plots are too complex, please please please let me know. I try very, very hard to make them easy to follow and yet interesting enough to not be entirely predictable, but there is always more story in my mind than actually gets written down by keyboard, so I might assume you guys understand things that you actually don’t. It’s like, the original plot I think of when I get really excited at the prospect of a new fic is 100% plot, and by the end, due to me wanting to keep things simpler and the flow right and for my own sanity, the resulting plot is maybe 70% of the original, and only 10% of that has gone in the direction I first intended it to. I’m always really glad to streamline my plots and make them simpler though, because I like reading easy-to-follow plots (even if there are many layers/themes to a story, it doesn’t have to be hard to follow, right?), so I hope I do an acceptable job creating them.
Anyway, as per my usual, I ended up leaving a lot of the writing (and planning, even, oh God) to the very last minute, which is why the author’s notes on my fic submission said that only three parts of the fic got beta’d. At the time, it was true! essyllus and mrsatterthwaite read over bits for me, but it was seriously the day before my fic was due, and I didn’t want to dump all 52K on either of them, so I went through the rest myself. Torturous, wow, since I’d been doing nothing but write that fic for the last week or so. My saving grace came when the fic postings got delayed because the mods were waiting on Team AR’s official status, so I took that extra day to reread my fic and spot any errors (of which there were a lot). A few days later I got paranoid again and re-read the ending of my story and noticed, horror upon horrors, a plot hole I hadn’t caught before. I hurriedly fixed it the best I could and emailed a desperate plea to the mods, and they kindly accepted this newest version. The plot hole had to do with Nichkhun not being able to turn back time (because of how I made Khun explain it before, it should have been impossible for Wooyoung’s father to turn back time for his wish). DJALGHFDJKA it was so stressful, sobbing. T___T I really had not expected the story to turn out so long and I almost considered not adding the little fairy tale excerpts in between because I was so sick of writing it all (and they were the last part I wrote). I think the fic could have been better had I taken more time with it, and had someone help me beta all of it, but I didn’t have the time. So I’m sorry everyone, but I did my best, please forgive me.
I was nearly driving myself nuts though, with the ending. I didn’t actually decide to sacrifice Wooyoung’s dad’s heart until basically I had finished writing the Wooyoung “bathed in a sea of red” part and sat blankly at my computer for long, long minutes, asking myself what the hell I was supposed to do now. ANYWAY I am glad it resolved itself nicely, thank you brain for pulling through for me!!!! Let’s never think of this misery again. Looking back on it though, the ending was a very easy one, yet I think it’s much better than some of the other complicated endings I had originally planned for the fic. Oh lawd. (This is the same thing that happened to me with Death Ray, my Arashi fic! What is the matter with me!)
Okay that’s enough about the plot. OH, WHAT? primroseshows, there’s more you want to talk about? How big can your ego possibly be?
Oh, dearest. You might be surprised.
Just kidding, I jus wanna rant.
Part II. The characterization.
I don’t have too much to say here, other than it was so hard for me to start writing this fic. During the months that I was working on it, 2PM was still a volatile fandom, and especially after the disaster of a fan conference happened, I had no idea how to characterize the members anymore. With all the negative sasaeng fan rumours going around, I was wondering if those were really the “true” personalities of 2PM, and if so, if I wanted to make my characterization believable, was I obligated to write them that way? Or was it better for me to go on writing 2PM as I always had, while knowing that many fans no longer saw them as those kinds of individuals? I was pretty conflicted, honestly, though I preferred to write them as I always had (less thinking for me, in any case.) The first set of author’s notes I wrote (right after the fan conference information came out) was about apologizing for any differences in how I characterized them and in how they might “really be,” and to ask any readers to just pretend the conference never happened. I guess I really didn’t need to worry, since the AU took care of most of the chances I had to write the members either really good or really douchey, because they were thrust in different situations. So in the end I tried to make each member recognizable, at least, in the way they talked and reacted and the roles they played in the story.
That’s why we have Chansung and Junho as Wooyoung’s friends and support group: Chansung a happy-go-lucky kind of guy but a little bit clueless and a little bit of a jerk, Junho a strong-willed, honourable person who doesn’t like taking advantage of fame that isn’t his but at the same time is desperate to do what it takes to get his own name noticed, and Wooyoung as a slightly loner-ish student, who has a rough family life and would rather escape through his books than talk about it. And there’s Taec, who is friendly and charismatic, but he can’t help but be a little selfish inside. There’s Junsu, whose music meant everything to him, but is really impatient to get the world to hear it. And Jay, who didn’t want to disappoint his family or his friends and would rather shoulder any blame by himself, no matter the consequences. And there’s Khun, who has good intentions and cares for his friends, but knows his place in the world, and most importantly, likes Wooyoung.
I hope that each member’s personality was believable and consistent. I wish I had more time to develop the characters of Junho and Chansung, because (from the original ending) I had planned for them to make very interesting transactions with Nichkhun, and their friendship with each other and with Wooyoung was supposed to be a huge theme within the fic. Had I gone with the conclusion where Wooyoung tied himself to the shop with Khun, I would have had Wooyoung erase himself from Junho and Chansung’s memories, and he would have been sad but ultimately okay with it, because the two of them had each other and the depth of their friendship would be something Wooyoung realized through the wishes they made. (WHY YES, I am a big fan of Chanho, why do you ask.)
By the way, I by no means think that Wooyoung’s father actually abuses him in real life - that was all purely from my own imagination.
One thing I really didn’t like about my writing this was how I wrote Khun speaking. He speaks Korean a lot more fluently in the fic than I think he ought to, realistically, but it was kind of unavoidable since he had so much to explain and his role was so large. Well, I hope it still came across that Khun found Korean difficult because he hadn’t planned to be there in the first place. Wooyoung, too, I had some issue with. I had hoped to make him more humourous, because he’s apparently a very funny and witty guy, but there weren’t that many chances in the story for him to show off that talent. Sigh. Ah, well.
Okay I’m going to stop talking about all this now. If there are any questions about anything at all, please feel free to ask. It’s the first time I’ve done something like this, where I explained a lot of my thought processes, so I don’t know if it was terribly boring or terrifically boring. LMAO please rest easy; I will probably never do something like this again. (The commentary, not the fic.) Oh! And any concrit about the fic is loved, of course. I’m really happy with the votes I got but there were two voters who seemed to hate it and, on the very, very, very slim chance that either of them are browsing my fic journal (why hello there), it’d be awesome if you guys could share your opinion about what I could improve on. :) Thanks!
Part III. The deleted scenes!
OKAY SO HERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT WERE CUT OR CHANGED FOR GOOD REASON! PLEASE ENJOY?
1. The first ending.
This can't be real, Wooyoung thinks.
It can't.
Things like this just don't happen in real life, because there is a certain way in which the world works, following rules of physics and biology and common sense, and what's happening right now has none of the above. This can't be real life because this is impossible.
"Wooyoung," Chansung pleads, his voice wet and raw as he clutches at Junho's body, strokes roughly at Junho's unconscious face. "Do something!"
Do what, Wooyoung thinks. Do what, what can I do, this isn't even happening, this can't be happening, not like this. His insides feel cracked, broken, and he can't even form a coherent sentence out of his lips. He feels nauseous. He wants to wake up.
Junho still hasn't opened his eyes and out of the mad swirl of thoughts rampaging through Wooyoung's mind, he thinks that he's little relieved about this, in some hysterical way, because he doesn't want Junho to wake up and prove that impossible things are possible after all. As long as Junho is still unconscious, there is still a chance that this has been nothing but a big, fat, stupid joke. A nightmare, some sick fantasy, created solely by Wooyoung's own twisted mind, an accumulated result of all the horror stories Wooyoung has read through the years and never quite got over.
Through Chansung's sobs and the rush of blood in his ears and someone else's heaving breaths (who was that, breathing so close to Wooyoung, so disconcerting, it was making him light-headed), Wooyoung can hear Taecyeon shouting at Nichkhun.
"What have you done?" Taecyeon is yelling. "You have to fix this!"
"He made a wish," Nichkhun is saying back. "He wanted this."
"He didn't want this! How could he possibly want this?!"
And Junsu's yelling too, kneeling down on Junho's other side, taking his hand. "Junho, man, come on, it'll be all right, just open your eyes."
"There's no point," Nichkhun says gently, sadly. "It's already been done."
Chansung makes a whining sound high in his throat, like he's being strangled. "No, fuck you, Junho, come on--"
"Khun--" Taec grabs Nichkhun by his collar, holds out a fist like he's about to hit him. "You can do something, I know you can. You're the owner of this shop, aren't you? This is your power, isn't it?!"
Nichkhun shakes his head, looks steadily at Taecyeon, then at Junho's body, lying still on the groud. "I'm sorry, but this was the price he had to pay," he murmurs.
Taeyeon's fist rears back; Nichkhun winces, but Taec hits the wall instead. The shelves rattle. "This isn't--"
"The price was fair."
"You can't just--"
"I'm sorry, I really am," Nichkhun whispers, and retreats to his backroom.
"Wooyoung, help," Chansung begs, and Wooyoung has never seen him look this desperate before. "You've been working here, right? He listens to you, right? Make Nichkhun change his mind! Make him undo this!!"
But Wooyoung can't. He has no idea what he can do. He can barely keep steady on his own feet right now. The person gasping and heaving, struggling for breath like he's about to die, it's Wooyoung. The person who is standing immobile while his world is blowing up around him, it's Wooyoung. The person who doesn't want to believe any of this is happening, but in his heart knows that it is, all of it, Chansung crying, and Taecyeon and Junsu helpless, and Junho's wish and Nichkhun taking his payment, Nichkhun needing Junho's payment, Nichkhun going to his backroom now, going to do that, and Junho is blind -- Wooyoung knows none of this is a dream.
If this is the kind of thing that happens in the realm of fantasy, then Wooyoung would prefer real life, after all.
How in the world had it come to this?
Don't just stand here, he tells himself furiously. Think back. You've been here since this the beginning. You know how this works. Figure out how to change this. Think about how this all started.
Go back to the start.
2a. Junho meets Jay for the first time; texts Wooyoung.
He'd sent the following text messages while Wooyoung was downstairs having dinner:
hey where r, u get here now!!! NEWS
--
pick up!!!
--
ugh >___>;;;;;;;
--
the news: wooyoung u know that guy whos always hangin around during our practises?? hes a really good dancer!!!!!!
--
i caught him dancing, by himself. no music but was still good. rly rly impressed. he sort of froze when he saw me tho. i wnated him on the team. i called after him, tried to talk but he ws very awkward im sorry 2 say :( left quickly.
--
btw hes fr overseas, couldnt speak Korean very well >:O a little frustrating i will admit
--
wy if we get him for our team we will definitely win the tournament this yr keke~
--
need to talk to him again..... if he ever shows up again. hopefully.
--
where r u~? dont tell me ur grounded again
And then the following messages from Chansung:
WOOYOUNGIE wtf junho is ttly obsessde w this guy, get here now 2 talk snese in him!! im like, is this dude better than ur bro & hes all 'no one is better than my bro ok but thid guy is still great omg must get him on our team omg must get him to teach me all his skills!!!! etc' junho is 222 intense
--
i think this guy was rly good or smth, otherwise, i bet junho is half jealous lol
--
wooyoung wooyougn wooyoung wooyongggg where rrr ruuuuuuuuu
2b. Another first time meeting Jay.
"Hm." Wooyoung watches as the shorter guy bows quickly to Junho and leaves the building. Junho jogs back to the crowd, smiling as he notices Wooyoung.
"Hey, glad you made it. Got your dad to let you out this week?"
Wooyoung purses his lips. "I would have come anyway. But he had to pick up a late shift at the factory. It worked out."
"I see," Junho says. "Well, as long as you don't get into trouble."
"It'll be fine," Wooyoung says flatly. "Who were you talking to, over there?"
"Oh, that guy." Junho brightens. "I got here early to practise today, and I saw him--"
"How early," Chansung demands.
"An hour."
"You're nuts."
"I just need the practise," Junho says. "Anyway, I came early, and he was the only guy here. I guess he didn't hear me come in because he just kept on dancing. He was very, very good. Like, really good. At first I was going to dance too, but he was doing these very unique moves, so I just sat down and watched. He didn't even have music, and he danced for almost half an hour. And as soon as some of the other guys started coming in, he grabbed his stuff and left. I wanted to talk to him, so I chased after him."
"Did you want him to join our team or something?" Chansung asks.
"I just wanted to know where he'd learnt all those moves, frankly," Junho says. "He seemed kind of uncomfortable with talking to me, but I guess he was too polite to not answer or something. He said that he used to bboy with some friends in his neighbourhood, but stopped for personal reasons. I told him that he was welcome to dance with us, but he said no. Maybe he was in a hurry to get home or something. He didn't even tell me his name." Junho sighs, and looks back at the exit where the other person had left. "It seems a shame though. I hope he comes back. He was really good; it would have been great if he could teach me stuff."
3. Another way Khun and Wooyoung could have met.
Further up the street, there's a person hobbling forwards while struggling with a mountain of small decorated boxes. The top box on the pile wobbles precariously and falls down to the sidewalk. The person lets out a loud sigh and tries to reach down for it without bending over, but topples a few more boxes in the process. Wooyoung tsks.
"Hold still," he says peevishly, picking up the fallen boxes and handing them back to their owner. He pauses. A pair of huge brown eyes blink at him, from a gap between the planes of pastel colours Oh, Wooyoung thinks. It's the shopkeeper of Dreamhouse.
"Hi," the guy says, smiling. "Put them on top, please."
"Hello," Wooyoung returns slowly, and adds the fallen boxes to the top of the pile with care.
"Thanks."
"It's fine," Wooyoung says, and turns to go.
The other guy's voice stops him. "Your family runs the convenience store up the street, right?"
4. Nichkhun and Wooyoung’s first breakfast together.
The next morning, Wooyoung examines his bruises in the mirror and proclaims their healing rate unsatisfactory. He sighs; another missed day of school. And he might have to skip dance practise too, which will be a huge disappointment.
Breakfast, just like last night's dinner, is a bit of an awkward affair. On Wooyoung's side of things, anyway. For all of Nichkhun's friendly smiles, he's not a very talkative person, and after a few attempts to engage Wooyoung into casual conversation fall flat ("Nice weather yesterday, huh." "I guess. I didn't go outside at all." "Oh yeah. Me neither, really."), falls into a slightly tense silence that makes both of them stare more at their rice bowls than at the other person. It's not Wooyoung's fault. He's never been that great at small chat. It's not that he has nothing to say. Once Wooyoung gets talking it's hard for him to stop, but it's just getting there that's the problem.
While most of his attention is on the plate of leftover vegetables Nichkhun had cooked last night (not spicy at all), Wooyoung catches a few instances of Nichkhun starting to say something, stop, then shutting his mouth and turning back to his own food with a frustrated expression. It occurs to Wooyoung that he should probably make more of an effort not to make his host so uncomfortable. It's not as if Wooyoung is uncomfortable with Nichkhun -- well, he is, but he's a lot less uncomfortable than Wooyoung thinks he could be, considering they barely know each other -- it's just that it takes time for Wooyoung to ease into a relationship. He doesn't know what kind of person Nichkhun is yet. People with brash personalities like Chansung just dive into the deep end and expect the other person to meet them there. Wooyoung likes to assess the environment, test the waters first. He supposes it's a trait he grew up with.
But Nichkhun was kind enough not to prod at Wooyoung for details about his home life yesterday. Wooyoung supposes that Nichkhun must have sensed that he'd been upset and hadn't wanted to think about it. Nichkhun had let Wooyoung spend the rest of the day upstairs, tidying up his own room, while he handled the shop by himself. After dinner in the tiny kitchen behind the main store, he'd said he had some shop work to do, wished Wooyoung good night, and gone into a locked room across the hall which Wooyoung assumed was Nichkhun's office. Wooyoung was certain that Nichkhun was giving Wooyoung his space. And Wooyoung's not a total dickhead, he appreciated that.
So he calmly looks over at Nichkhun now and says, "You don't have to be so careful and polite to me. If you want to know something about me, then just ask. Stop worrying about offending me or something."
Nichkhun blinks at him, half of his mouth full of rice. "I -- what? Oh. Oh, sorry."
"I mean," Wooyoung goes on, "you're doing me a huge favour by letting me stay here and stuff, and I don't want to seem ungrateful."
"You don't," Nichkhun says quickly.
"And you must have questions about my family--"
"It's not really any of my business," Nichkhun says.
"And you have no reason to trust me--"
"You don't either," Nichkhun says.
"What?"
"You don't have reason to trust me either," Nichkhun repeats, slowly, as if testing out the words on his tongue for the first time.
"I," Wooyoung says. He really doesn't. "Why the hell would you say something like that? Are you trying to freak me out or something?" He puts down his chopsticks angrily. "Because if you've got a split personlity of some homicidal axe maniac, you better tell me now, or I'm going to be pretty pissed off later."
Wooyoung says this perfectly seriously (those kind of things happened all the time in his books, and even though Wooyoung knows this is real life, no part of Nichkhun's shop so far seems strictly "normal"), but Nichkhun starts laughing loudly.
"You're really funny, Wooyoungie," Nichkhun says, and just like that, the tension is gone.
5. Let’s not forget Junho is a dork.
"Wooyoung, are you paying any attention?" Junho says, waving a hand in front of Wooyoung's face.
Wooyoung blinks and lifts his chin out of his hand. "Yes, of course," he lies, and flips through a few pages of his textbook.
"Daydreaming again," Chansung yawns, tapping his pencil against his desk.
"Yes, and I can clearly see how you're using your time valuably," Junho says sarcastically, pointing at Chansung's paper, full of tic-tac-toe games. Wooyoung leans over and scribbles in an O to ruin Chansung's two-X streak. "Have fun failing the class, you two."
"We will," Chansung chirps, drawing a new grid.
"Will we?" Wooyoung asks, surprised.
"Sure," Chansung grins. "You can work in Nichkhun's shop for the rest of your life. I'm going to be a famous actor. Junho will get a chance to be a great dancer, but then decide to go to university instead."
Junho scoffs and lifts up his textbook so his face is blocked from Wooyoung and Chansung.
"He's just grouchy because Jaebeom hasn't been showing up at practise lately," Chansung whispers loudly.
6. A realization.
The reason that Wooyoung still believes in fairy tales is simple:
It's because he wants to.
7. Discord between Khun and Wooyoung.
Nichkhun stares. "You're very young, Wooyoung."
Wooyoung thinks of his father. "I'm not."
"You are, because you believe in happy endings," Nichkhun says softly. "There is no such thing."
"How old are you then?" Wooyoung retorts.
Nichkhun's face sags, and he suddenly looks very tired. "I'm old enough to know better," he says.
Wooyoung slams the door and tries to wipe Nichkhun's eyes from his mind.
8. The transaction that never was.
"There's a talent contest," Wooyoung gasps. "Next weekend."
"Would you like to win it?" Nichkhun asks. Entirely too innocently.
And oh, how Wooyoung wants to.
Part IV. The competition.
All right, let’s not mince words. Here is my biggest question: WHERE THE HELL WERE ALL THE COMMENTS!! There were over FIFTY FICS for this competition and like, BARELY ANY COMMENTS! Why? Why! I don’t understand why! Okay so I understand that if you don’t like the fic, it might be better to stay silent, but there were a lot of good fic that had no feedback at all. It made me really sad, you guys. I know that this competition had its ups and downs and lots of people had to drop out, but in the end, the fics did get written, and the effort was made, and I think that deserves commendation. It was really disheartening to see such little comment-giving when there were a decent number of people voting. Were people too shy? Too lazy? Too bitchy? Was a simple, “Hey, I liked this! Good job with the prompt!” too hard to write? fjdafl;
I had really wanted to read through as many fics as I could and comment on all of them, but unfortunately because of real life obligations and other things, I didn’t even manage to get through half the fics. @___@ (I’m still looking forward to going back sometime and browsing the comm, though.) What was ridiculous of me was that once I realized I was the only one commenting on the entries (LMAO when the first few rounds were posted, it literally was just me. Oh man you should have seen how happy I was when pregnantcigar commented on another fic ;___;), I felt embarrassed about it. Like, should I not be commenting? Was I doing something wrong? Would people take my comments the wrong way and think I was just being obnoxious? I really did not like having that feeling. I was seriously afraid that I would be wanked on because I wanted to comment. What is it about this fandom that inspires such awe, fear, love and frustration in me at the same damn time?
Maybe the fact that it was a competition made people less likely to speak up about what they liked (maybe they felt like they’d be betraying their team or something? I D K), but it was still just a fun game/challenge - moreover, it was one that encompassed the entire K-pop fandom. COME ON, with so many fics about so many groups, there had to be at least one fic that every single person found enjoyable. I hope so, at least.
Okay, okay, perhaps I am being too harsh. Voting by pressing three consecutive buttons and then “Submit” takes a lot out of a reader, I know. Right? RIGHT.
I browsed through je_ficgames too and they don’t have too many comments either, but there are decidedly more than the amount we got for kpop_olymfics. I don’t think it has to do with the size of the fandom. I think that lots of people would just rather not comment, and if they DID have something to say, they feel more comfortable saying it on an anon meme or something. I don’t really agree with this. It’s one thing to keep criticism out of the community, since it was a formal challenge thing and any crit right in the entry might be a bit harsh, but I lurked around the fic memes once in a while and there were quite a few compliments for lots of fics! So why not say them to the author and let them feel good about something they’ve written? Were people waiting for the author to post them in a formal fic comm?
(PS. To the kind commenters who left me a comment, both at the olymfic comm or at formspring: thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciated it. Really.)
Also, I found it strange that the mods seemed to ask opinions from the anon fic memes but not make an official post about the topic on the comm. Like, the extension, right? It saved my life, but I had no idea it was even up for discussion at a place that was not the official community. Does everyone besides me keep active track of those anon memes or something, gah. x__x
Anyway...
I guess I just would have liked a little more participation for this competition. And entire team dropped out, without giving ANY NOTICE beforehand. I don’t know their reasons for doing this and I presume that they are good ones, but it doesn’t leave a very nice aftertaste for the community. Lots of individual writers dropped out too, due to other commitments, and I totally understand, I do, and I really don’t blame anyone because ultimately, real life >>>>>>>> fic, but at the same time, I had team members who were writing three fics apiece just to keep the team afloat. That’s incredible of them, but I don’t like that they were put in that position in the first place. This is hard for me to justify, because I don’t bear any resentment towards ANYONE involved in this competition and I get why people needed to drop out, but I just can’t help being a little disappointed about it all. :( Hugs all around guys, can we try to do better next time? (This includes ME first and foremost, btw; I need to get my procrastination under control.)
Because I did have a good time writing my fic (most of it, anyway), and I did have a great team, and I still really like the idea of the olymfic competition. In the end, a lot of good fic was produced, so I think we have an experience to be proud of as well as learn from. So I hope it happens again, but I think we, as a ficdom, need to take a little more responsibility as well as have a little more fun with it.
Okay. Off soapbox.
If you’ve read through all of this, I would love to shake your hand one day, you wonderful person. :)
If you’d like to share your opinion with me about the competition, please feel free! I would love to hear it. Let’s be respectful towards everyone though, okay?
Thanks guys. ♥