Quest 241
[Private || Hackable by Friends]
It's Christmas again! Merry Christmas! My third Christmas in the City, now. And my first without Sam.
We always used to have such fun on Christmas, didn't we? That first year when Sam brought Valor here for me and he arrived in the middle of the night, and he came trotting up the stairs looking for me and I didn't believe Sam when he was calling for me to wake up because there was a horse in the Warehouse. And then last year, when Mojo came and it was the same sort of thing but in reverse, and Sam was so happy to see him here with us from home. That was a trade well worth it, even if it was miserable to endure while it lasted and they've both...gone home now.
Oh, Valor, today is your two-year anniversary, then, isn't it? I'll have to make sure to spoil you a bit rotten today, to celebrate. Dear, faithful Valor. I hope you'll stay with me as long as I'm still here.
It's small wonder this Christmas feels a bit emptier than others have been. No Sam this year, and no Blue, and no Penny. It's just...it's not the same without them, is it? Not when I counted on all of them so much--on Sam to always understand, on Blue to always look out for me, on Penny to be optimistic even in the times when I couldn't myself. It's supposed to be a time to spend with friends and family, isn't it? And I do have friends, plenty of them, but...but there's no replacing the ones that are gone, I know.
I know that's what happened with the unicorn, and I feel awful about it now, but...it's just, Penny was gone and and I was so sad and it was like Sam and Blue all over again, and being out and about with Edmund was like being out with Sam again, too, in a strange way. It's the teasing, I think, and the...the joking, and even the taunts about my nose being too big. It's like what Sam used to do, insisting that Mother was 'totally hot' and never letting me forget about the time I tied myself up with my rope. It was fun, and I got carried away because I wanted to have fun again. Because I've missed having fun that way with Sam.
It was June first, the day he was gone. It's been half a year since he went back home to save his world. And I've carried on, haven't I? I've managed, just as I said I'd try to. Even if Blue left, even if Penny's gone now...I've managed.
Is it selfish of me, that even though I feel absolutely awful about everything that happened with the unicorn getting out...that there's still a small part of me that enjoyed having fun that way again?
Maybe it is selfish. So many people were hurt because of me. Peter died because I was chasing Sam's memory straight into that graveyard, and now a dozen people were hurt because I was chasing it again with Edmund.
But I miss him, and it's Christmas, and I've tried so hard to get by without him. And I've tried even harder to get by without Blue, and now I'll have to try more on top of that to make do without Penny.
I hope your friend came to get you when it was your time to leave, Penny. That's what you wanted, wasn't it? You told me that once, that someone would come for you and you were so happy about it, because you knew you'd be all right and he was so very kind to you. Did he come for you, then? Did you go on somewhere that you can be happy, too? I don't want to worry about you the way I worry about Blue, the way I keep hoping and hoping he's somewhere bright and merry where the music is always jazz and no one ever tells him he looks too young to play. I hope you're somewhere lovely, too, and that you're having as merry a Christmas as--no, an even merrier one than I am.
Because I'm not unhappy, not really. It's a beautiful day, even if the snow has all melted away and it feels more like summer out than Christmas. And I have so many friends still here, and so many gifts to deliver, besides. And Amory's out of the hospital now, and Cain has Merry and Riff to celebrate with, and there are people in the Warehouse so I'm not listening to the ticking all day and night, and I'm learning to use a sword and to drive the car and we have a beautiful tree and there's so much to be thankful for, and I am. I'm so very thankful for everything I have, and that it's such a merry Christmas today.
But I miss them. I miss you, Penny, and you, Blue, and you as well, Sam. And I miss Duo and Kurama and Tristan and Kazuki, and Luke and Rin and all the people that have come and gone over the years. I'm not sorry you've gone home and are out of the City and all the games it plays, not at all. But I miss you, and I hope you're all having a merry Christmas, too, wherever you are.
And I hope the ones that are here can forgive me, somehow, for what I've done this past week. I'm so very sorry, really I am, and I know that nothing can excuse it, and I shouldn't have done it, and I really do feel awful about how it turned out and that so many people were hurt on my account.
But for those few minutes, when we were having such fun--
But it's Christmas, and it shouldn't be dampered with worrying. I'm sorry. Is it selfish to want to be happy today, on Christmas, when people are supposed to be merry? Is it selfish to try to be glad when I know so many other people are hurt because of something I did?
Is it all right, to be a bit selfish on Christmas?
I hope so.
[/Private]
Oh, it's Christmas again! Merry Christmas, everyone!
Goodness, just look at the weather outside! It's certainly not the same weather we had last year--as I recall, it was beautiful and snowy and white that day, and I was so excited because there wasn't a curse in sight--but it does seem to be traditional to have a bit of summer in the middle of winter here, doesn't it? And Christmas is as fine a day as any to have it, I should think. There won't be any snowball fights or skating on the ice, I'm afraid, but perhaps skating along the ground on wheels will work just as well, and I'm sure there are plenty of other fine things to do on a lovely summer's day in December. Wouldn't you agree, Cain?
Valor will be pleased about all this, I'm sure. I'd planned to go sleighing today and visit everyone I know, but with the sun shining so brightly and not a bit of snow in sight, I suppose I'll just have to go for a ride instead, and I'm sure that will do just as well. That was always tradition on Christmas in Daventry--going around to visit everyone and wish them a merry Christmas in person. But of course, we always had snow for it ourselves, and never any weather like this.
Oh, and, speaking of traditions...Nigel, Miss Saya, I put your gifts under the tree in the Warehouse, if you'd like to open them all together? It's...it used to be tradition, in my past Christmases here, and I'd like very much to continue it with the both of you, if you think you'd like that as well.
Merry Christmas, everyone! And I do very much hope your holiday is merry and bright.
[GIFT LIST]
Amory: a blanket for Aquilo, which isn't much help in the sun, but will be in the snow.
Arthur: a set of wineglasses, for a man with excellent taste.
Cain: a gun of a slightly...different variety--one even Rosella would approve of.
Caspian: a blanket for Destrier, for those chilly days of pulling stuff on Caspian's behalf.
Chase: a pair of gloves made for driving, in the hopes he'll have plenty of opportunity to use them.
Cinna: a pouch of coins to aid him in whatever business endeavors he may have planned for the future.
Claire: a purse fit for a modern girl, with enough pockets to suit an old-fashioned one.
Dean: a toy car to play with, because he likes his big one so much.
Edmund: a pair of Rollerblades, to give Rosella a fighting chance at sword practice.
Maria: a trinket box for her keepsakes, be they magical or otherwise.
Merry: a trinket box for her odds and ends, in a shape to fit the rhyme.
Mouse: a pair of armwarmers that she didn't make herself, but at least picked out with the same amount of love and care that knitting them would've required.
Neil: a little piece of home that's also the other half of Todd's, and therefore as inseparable as the two of them.
Nigel: a shield that once belonged to a knight of Daventry, for a boy who might one day become one himself.
Percy: a warm wool cloak worthy of a hero, so that he might never freeze in the cold again.
Peter: a sword belt for Rhindon, because she owes the two of them a debt she can never repay.
Raiden: a warm hat for cold days in the City, to make his life just a bit cheerier.
Riff: a writing set in the Victorian style, for a little piece of home in a very modern place.
Rue: a bracelet as lovely and graceful as she is herself.
Saya: a bracelet of steel that is beautiful in its severity, which Rosella thinks suits Saya quite well.
Tamaki: a rainbow of glitter, because all shenanigans are better with glitter.
Todd: a box full of albums that's also the other half of Neil's, because the two of them work much better together than they do as separate halves.
[OOC: Gift list of DOOM is underneath the cut! And Rosella went a little crazy with gifts this year, so if you've talked to her, like...more than once in the past month or two, be sure to check this list and see if you're on it. And as usual, all friends and acquaintances get a plate of home-baked cookies to munch on in their holiday season. Merry Christmas, Poly!]
It's Christmas again! Merry Christmas! My third Christmas in the City, now. And my first without Sam.
We always used to have such fun on Christmas, didn't we? That first year when Sam brought Valor here for me and he arrived in the middle of the night, and he came trotting up the stairs looking for me and I didn't believe Sam when he was calling for me to wake up because there was a horse in the Warehouse. And then last year, when Mojo came and it was the same sort of thing but in reverse, and Sam was so happy to see him here with us from home. That was a trade well worth it, even if it was miserable to endure while it lasted and they've both...gone home now.
Oh, Valor, today is your two-year anniversary, then, isn't it? I'll have to make sure to spoil you a bit rotten today, to celebrate. Dear, faithful Valor. I hope you'll stay with me as long as I'm still here.
It's small wonder this Christmas feels a bit emptier than others have been. No Sam this year, and no Blue, and no Penny. It's just...it's not the same without them, is it? Not when I counted on all of them so much--on Sam to always understand, on Blue to always look out for me, on Penny to be optimistic even in the times when I couldn't myself. It's supposed to be a time to spend with friends and family, isn't it? And I do have friends, plenty of them, but...but there's no replacing the ones that are gone, I know.
I know that's what happened with the unicorn, and I feel awful about it now, but...it's just, Penny was gone and and I was so sad and it was like Sam and Blue all over again, and being out and about with Edmund was like being out with Sam again, too, in a strange way. It's the teasing, I think, and the...the joking, and even the taunts about my nose being too big. It's like what Sam used to do, insisting that Mother was 'totally hot' and never letting me forget about the time I tied myself up with my rope. It was fun, and I got carried away because I wanted to have fun again. Because I've missed having fun that way with Sam.
It was June first, the day he was gone. It's been half a year since he went back home to save his world. And I've carried on, haven't I? I've managed, just as I said I'd try to. Even if Blue left, even if Penny's gone now...I've managed.
Is it selfish of me, that even though I feel absolutely awful about everything that happened with the unicorn getting out...that there's still a small part of me that enjoyed having fun that way again?
Maybe it is selfish. So many people were hurt because of me. Peter died because I was chasing Sam's memory straight into that graveyard, and now a dozen people were hurt because I was chasing it again with Edmund.
But I miss him, and it's Christmas, and I've tried so hard to get by without him. And I've tried even harder to get by without Blue, and now I'll have to try more on top of that to make do without Penny.
I hope your friend came to get you when it was your time to leave, Penny. That's what you wanted, wasn't it? You told me that once, that someone would come for you and you were so happy about it, because you knew you'd be all right and he was so very kind to you. Did he come for you, then? Did you go on somewhere that you can be happy, too? I don't want to worry about you the way I worry about Blue, the way I keep hoping and hoping he's somewhere bright and merry where the music is always jazz and no one ever tells him he looks too young to play. I hope you're somewhere lovely, too, and that you're having as merry a Christmas as--no, an even merrier one than I am.
Because I'm not unhappy, not really. It's a beautiful day, even if the snow has all melted away and it feels more like summer out than Christmas. And I have so many friends still here, and so many gifts to deliver, besides. And Amory's out of the hospital now, and Cain has Merry and Riff to celebrate with, and there are people in the Warehouse so I'm not listening to the ticking all day and night, and I'm learning to use a sword and to drive the car and we have a beautiful tree and there's so much to be thankful for, and I am. I'm so very thankful for everything I have, and that it's such a merry Christmas today.
But I miss them. I miss you, Penny, and you, Blue, and you as well, Sam. And I miss Duo and Kurama and Tristan and Kazuki, and Luke and Rin and all the people that have come and gone over the years. I'm not sorry you've gone home and are out of the City and all the games it plays, not at all. But I miss you, and I hope you're all having a merry Christmas, too, wherever you are.
And I hope the ones that are here can forgive me, somehow, for what I've done this past week. I'm so very sorry, really I am, and I know that nothing can excuse it, and I shouldn't have done it, and I really do feel awful about how it turned out and that so many people were hurt on my account.
But for those few minutes, when we were having such fun--
But it's Christmas, and it shouldn't be dampered with worrying. I'm sorry. Is it selfish to want to be happy today, on Christmas, when people are supposed to be merry? Is it selfish to try to be glad when I know so many other people are hurt because of something I did?
Is it all right, to be a bit selfish on Christmas?
I hope so.
[/Private]
Oh, it's Christmas again! Merry Christmas, everyone!
Goodness, just look at the weather outside! It's certainly not the same weather we had last year--as I recall, it was beautiful and snowy and white that day, and I was so excited because there wasn't a curse in sight--but it does seem to be traditional to have a bit of summer in the middle of winter here, doesn't it? And Christmas is as fine a day as any to have it, I should think. There won't be any snowball fights or skating on the ice, I'm afraid, but perhaps skating along the ground on wheels will work just as well, and I'm sure there are plenty of other fine things to do on a lovely summer's day in December. Wouldn't you agree, Cain?
Valor will be pleased about all this, I'm sure. I'd planned to go sleighing today and visit everyone I know, but with the sun shining so brightly and not a bit of snow in sight, I suppose I'll just have to go for a ride instead, and I'm sure that will do just as well. That was always tradition on Christmas in Daventry--going around to visit everyone and wish them a merry Christmas in person. But of course, we always had snow for it ourselves, and never any weather like this.
Oh, and, speaking of traditions...Nigel, Miss Saya, I put your gifts under the tree in the Warehouse, if you'd like to open them all together? It's...it used to be tradition, in my past Christmases here, and I'd like very much to continue it with the both of you, if you think you'd like that as well.
Merry Christmas, everyone! And I do very much hope your holiday is merry and bright.
[GIFT LIST]
Amory: a blanket for Aquilo, which isn't much help in the sun, but will be in the snow.
Arthur: a set of wineglasses, for a man with excellent taste.
Cain: a gun of a slightly...different variety--one even Rosella would approve of.
Caspian: a blanket for Destrier, for those chilly days of pulling stuff on Caspian's behalf.
Chase: a pair of gloves made for driving, in the hopes he'll have plenty of opportunity to use them.
Cinna: a pouch of coins to aid him in whatever business endeavors he may have planned for the future.
Claire: a purse fit for a modern girl, with enough pockets to suit an old-fashioned one.
Dean: a toy car to play with, because he likes his big one so much.
Edmund: a pair of Rollerblades, to give Rosella a fighting chance at sword practice.
Maria: a trinket box for her keepsakes, be they magical or otherwise.
Merry: a trinket box for her odds and ends, in a shape to fit the rhyme.
Mouse: a pair of armwarmers that she didn't make herself, but at least picked out with the same amount of love and care that knitting them would've required.
Neil: a little piece of home that's also the other half of Todd's, and therefore as inseparable as the two of them.
Nigel: a shield that once belonged to a knight of Daventry, for a boy who might one day become one himself.
Percy: a warm wool cloak worthy of a hero, so that he might never freeze in the cold again.
Peter: a sword belt for Rhindon, because she owes the two of them a debt she can never repay.
Raiden: a warm hat for cold days in the City, to make his life just a bit cheerier.
Riff: a writing set in the Victorian style, for a little piece of home in a very modern place.
Rue: a bracelet as lovely and graceful as she is herself.
Saya: a bracelet of steel that is beautiful in its severity, which Rosella thinks suits Saya quite well.
Tamaki: a rainbow of glitter, because all shenanigans are better with glitter.
Todd: a box full of albums that's also the other half of Neil's, because the two of them work much better together than they do as separate halves.
[OOC: Gift list of DOOM is underneath the cut! And Rosella went a little crazy with gifts this year, so if you've talked to her, like...more than once in the past month or two, be sure to check this list and see if you're on it. And as usual, all friends and acquaintances get a plate of home-baked cookies to munch on in their holiday season. Merry Christmas, Poly!]