Let's all have a cup of tea.
Good afternoon everyone, I am going to post that long thing I wrote for some contest that you may or may not be familiar with at oh, a humble little community known as kickass_central ohmiyaday. I think it turned out pretty well! (The contest, not the fic. Well I guess both.) I know I was promising to deliver that other really long one but I am still grappling with it and also I have to read about 250 pages about communication before Monday. I CAN'T WAIT (SARCASM).
Title: Yours, RamenLuver99
Rating: PG-13 for Nino's potty mouth
Genre: lol, I don't know. General? Melodrama?
Length: ~12,300 OTL
Summary: As a promotion for his new show, Ohno is put into a dating competition for Valentine's Day. Nino protests the only way he knows how: underhandedly.
Notes: I know that Japanese pronouns are gendered, but please pretend that they aren't, for this story. As well, please do not take the idea of individual fan clubs seriously; they were made up for the sake of the fic.
Thank you very much to: still_ciircee for correcting my grammar, waxrose for emotional support and encouragement, and especially jliann for not only telling me what she liked, but stuff she didn't like. Jun's entire snarky conversation with Nino can be credited to her. Thanks for your help, everyone! Oh, and a HUGE THANK YOU for everyone who participated in the contest! Awesome fandom is awesome.
Yours, RamenLuver99
Of course, nowadays, if someone asked Nino how the whole debacle came about, he refused to take responsibility for it. If you knew me, he'd say, you wouldn't have expected me to act otherwise. Action reaction, he'd say. I didn't like the situation, so I changed it to my favour. He'd smile innocently and ask, wouldn't you have done the same? Nowadays, if someone asked Ohno about it, Ohno would chuff out a quiet giggle and say, Well, I think it was more me than him, but it doesn’t matter, really. It's Nino, right? You can't fight against that.
This was how it started: with the news.
"YOU SAID YES??" Nino screamed, jumping to his feet.
Ohno looked up at him, eyes wide. "It -- they said that it would be a good idea, as a promotion --"
"Why would they even suggest it?! Who the hell do they think you are? Jun?"
Ohno shrugged helplessly.
Nino let out an exasperated grunt and stormed out of the room.
Jun, Sho and Aiba stared at the door, then back at Ohno.
"Huh?" Aiba said, bewildered. "What happened?"
What happened was that Ohno made a huge mistake, signing up for such a stupid publicity stunt. Wasn't that fucking obvious? Nino was in Johnny's and he knew how to promote things as well as he knew how to breathe, so he knew that there were certain methods of advertising that were suited towards certain people. Aiba, for example, could bring a live pelican to a set in order to promote his totally pelican-free stage play. Sho could dress up in a suit and sit in his newscaster’s chair, earnestly asking for everyone's support, while images of him skipping around in a white jumpsuit and dirty blond wig played during commercial break. And Jun, Jun could participate in a rigged dating show and go on a rigged date and Nino wouldn't bat an eye. But Ohno couldn't do those things. At least, he shouldn't. Especially that last one. He shouldn't have agreed -- damn it, and his wasn't even rigged at all.
In order to promote his new TBS show, the story of a washed-up rock star who'd gotten dumped by his girlfriend, the producers of Uta no Oniisan had the inspired idea to host a dating competition, starring Ohno Satoshi. Members from his official fanclub were given passwords to an account on the show's website, where they could sign up to compete to win Ohno's affections. Ohno would send one email daily, asking a question concerning a subject of his choice, and the girls were to give a simple and succinct answer in reply. Ohno would then rate the answers, and a predetermined percentage of his favourites were allowed to move on and answer the following day's question. The prize for the single girl who most impressed Ohno was a special Valentine's Day date, dinner included, with the man himself: no ruses, no cameras (aside from a few publicity photos), no one else except the two of them together on the most romantic night of the year.
Nino seethed at the thought of the gamey-ness of it all. Wasn't this a type of extortion? Manipulation? Prostitution? This wasn't some funny joke like Jun's date with Ooshima-san had been, this was a real date. And it would be a girl who Ohno liked because he would have had chosen her out of thousands of others. And on fucking Valentine's Day. Ridiculous. Nino didn't believe for a second that any good would come out of this. Where was the screening process? Where were the background checks? Who knew what the girl would attempt to do? Ohno might get poisoned. He might get kidnapped, held hostage, tortured in some grimy basement of a yakuza safe base. He might have to kiss her. He might have to put out. This was bad. This was a horrible idea and Nino was not going to take it sitting down. He had the virtue of Arashi's leader to defend.
Nino headed to one of the open offices in the building and sat down at a computer. He searched up the drama’s website and clicked on the link to Ohno’s contest. A few strokes of the keyboard, and there, he was registered.
He knew signing up for Ohno's fanclub all those years ago would come in handy one day.
An important point: Nino didn't do the whole jealousy thing. He had experienced the ugly side of jealousy as a kid growing up in a low-income household, and he'd gotten tired of the futility of it before he'd even finished high school. If he found he was jealous of something, it was merely a matter of relieving the pressure. Nino frequently analyzed the world into two categories: things that were worth effort, and things that weren't. Matters of love were slotted as "not worth the effort" by default, so Nino really had no idea what he was capable of, should he ever decide to fight for someone he wanted. That wasn't to say that he wanted that date. He just didn't want anyone else to get it. Not because Nino was jealous. Nino was protective. This was Ohno, Arashi's one and only Leader, and Nino couldn't rest easy, just letting Ohno go on some random date for no reason. Okay, so there was a reason, and the date wasn't really random, but the issue remained that Ohno was being pimped out. Pimped out! And not for Arashi, either. This had to be corrected immediately.
The standard cliché was: if you can't beat them, join them. Nino didn't work with clichés. Besides, it was easier to join them first, and then beat them.
"There you are," Sho said, when Nino returned, feeling considerably more calm. "Where did you run off to?"
"Bathroom," Nino said, and deliberately avoided looking at Ohno as he sat down. He could tell that Ohno was staring at him, searching for a sign that he could squish up right beside Nino as per their usual routine. Nino ignored him. He was strategizing, and he didn't want any distractions. He would have to conduct himself carefully for the next few days to avoid suspicion. Since he'd left the room in a huff not ten minutes ago, showing a sudden change of heart towards the competition would trigger questions right away. No, better to sulk about it for today, and then gradually loosen up to the idea. By then, Ohno would probably allow Nino to give opinions about the girls' answers. And Nino could help steer him towards the answers that Nino would be providing. And once Nino won the game, he'd show up on Ohno's doorstep with a six-pack of beer and some DVDs and they'd have a relaxing guy's night, just the two of them.
Nino wasn’t worried about the media's reaction, should he win. The fangirls would eat it up, definitely. Nino was more worried about Ohno's reaction: would he be happy? Angry? Would he feel betrayed? Would he feel relieved? He'd be surprised, for sure. But Nino could handle that. And as long as they had a good time that evening, Ohno really couldn't stay mad at Nino. He might even thank Nino for doing this.
"Anyway, don't stress out about it," Jun was telling Ohno, patting his shoulder. "Just pick your favourite answers, that's all, don't worry about the girl. Logically, the last one standing is bound to be someone you can at least tolerate. Who knows, the date might even be fun."
Nino was thinking the exact same thing.
The next morning, Nino rose bright and early to check the website on his laptop.
Hello, RamenLuver99, you have (1) new message from Ohno-kun!! Would you like to read it?
Nino clicked yes.
Hello everyone!!! This is Satoshi~
Thank you for participating in this contest!! I am looking forward to get to know everyone! Let's all have fun together and not have any hard feelings for anyone, okay? Please do your best!! If you pass today's question, you will get another email tomorrow morning!!! Look forward to it!! Well, shall we get started?
Question number 1~
What is Ohno Satoshi's BIG New Year's goal for 2009??
I will work hard with this event and my drama, so please support me and Uta no Oniisan!!
Satoshi-kun
That was his question?? Wasn’t that too easy? Nino refreshed the webpage five times, but the question remained on the screen, unchanged. Useless. It was completely useless. This would narrow down his list of suitors from ten thousand to maybe nine and a half thousand. What a complete idiot. Nino would have to talk to Ohno about this. Subtly, without giving himself away.
Nino typed GT in the comment box and submitted his answer.
It turned out that Nino needn't have worried. When he got into work, Jun was already giving Ohno a lecture about the importance of asking relevant questions and the necessity of narrowing down the number of entrees.
"Do you want to go through thousands of answers everyday? I know the website has that filtering program, but there's still a lot of work for you. And you can't ask about yourself, you have to ask questions that will tell you about the girl. They already know you well enough, or else they wouldn't be in your fanclub."
"Ah," Ohno nodded. "I see."
Jun sighed. "Did you only type that question because you couldn't think of anything else?"
"I thought it was a really important thing to talk about!" Ohno protested.
"A better question might be, 'If you were a fisherman, what kind of fish would you want to catch?'" Sho suggested.
"Ah!" Ohno pointed. "That's it!"
Aiba laughed. "Leader, let us help you with your thing, okay? We don't want you ending up with some really weird scary lady by the end of the two weeks."
"It'll probably turn out that the really weird scary lady is exactly his type," Nino said, walking in.
"Nino, did you see Captain's question for today?" Aiba grinned. He grabbed Ohno's cell phone. "It was so easy! Look at the statistics, 96 percent of the people answered correctly so far!"
96 percent, Nino thought, peering at the screen of Ohno's phone. Shoot. That was more than he'd anticipated.
"Man, Oh-chan," Nino smirked. "Maybe you just want to go on a date with all of them?"
Ohno frowned slightly. "This is hard, guys. How do I know what to ask?"
"You're doing it backwards," Nino said flatly. "You're wondering, what kind of things do I want the person to know? But that's not the point. You have to think of the kind of answer you want the girl to say, and then ask a question that might lead to that. Get it?"
Ohno blinked, and Nino met his gaze, expressionless.
"Okay," Ohno said. "Thanks."
"Thank me by not getting raped by the time this is over," Nino muttered.
Stupid Sho pulled Nino aside later while the others were prepping for the photoshoot.
"Nino," he started, and Nino knew what was coming. Sho was wearing his well-meaning expression, the one that screamed, I know this is difficult for you, but I sympathize, while sorrowful music played in the background and a single, glistening tear rolled down his cheek.
"Sho-chan," Nino put a finger to his lips. "It's nothing, okay? It's really nothing."
Sho sighed. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay with this."
"Why wouldn't I be?" Nino said defensively. "It's part of the job, right?"
"Good, I'm glad you understand," Sho said sarcastically, clearly not believing him. "In any case, I think you ought to be more considerate."
"I am being very considerate. I was helping Oh-chan earlier, wasn't I?"
Sho gave him a look. "You mean while you were deleting all the messages on his phone? You looked like you do when you're going on a killing spree in a video game."
"Helping," Nino corrected. "Look, if I were really against it, don't you think I would've hacked the website? I haven't."
"You haven't yet," Sho said.
"I know, I've been a fucking angel," Nino agreed. "And besides, isn't it you guys who are acting strange? Don't you think this contest is suspicious? We don't have any control over who wins."
"Of course we don't," Sho said, crossing his arms. "But Satoshi does. Because it's his event."
Nino glared. "He can barely tie a tie, and now you want to send him on a whole date by himself? It's like you don't care about his safety at all!"
"But it's just a date," Sho moaned, putting his face in his hands.
"When he shows up the morning after crying about how he was violated by some barbarian woman, I'm going to tell him you said that," Nino said.
Nino posed for the camera on auto-pilot. While the photographer told him to lean on the wall, smile a bit wider, tilt his head to the left, Nino's brain was running on overdrive. What did Sho know anyway? Sho's own fanclub was dominated by middle aged married women who on his birthday, instead of stuffing his cards with their panties, stuffed them with lists of non-fiction book recommendations. Sho trusted girls. Sho was really the only one in the group who took Ohno's age seriously, and thought Ohno was capable of taking care of himself -- at least when it came to females -- for a night. But Nino knew better. It wasn't that he didn't think that Ohno was an idiot (some of the time, at least), it was that he knew Ohno was too kind. Even if Ohno had misgivings about certain things, he would go through with them if the request was made politely and sincerely. In this business, it weren't for the rest of Arashi surrounding him, he would've been walked all over like a fuzzy Hello Kitty bath mat.
Nino had been there when Ohno first got word of his scandal. He was there to see the shock on Ohno's face morph into devastation and fear and shame. At that time, Nino had reached for him, but Ohno could move as fast as lightning when he wanted to; Nino had blinked and Ohno was gone. He ended up locking himself in the bathroom for a good half hour, refusing all words of support, and Nino had always regretted that: not acting fast enough when Ohno was hurting. He wasn't going to let this thing become a repeat performance of that day. Nino was not going to let anyone take advantage of Ohno again, not if he could help it.
See, Nino thought, how could anyone argue against that? Nino was only doing the logical thing by secretly entering in his bandmate's contest and pretending to be a girl so he could ruin the whole setup from the inside out. Obviously.
The next day came, and Nino rose promptly to check his email.
Hello everyone! This is Satoshi~ is everybody excited?!!
Congratulations to everyone for making it to the second day. Please forgive me if today's question is not as simple as yesterday's. Honestly, I was really surprised at how many of you answered correctly!! Thank you everyone for supporting me all this time and caring about my interests!! I will do my best to catch that GT and share my happiness with everyone. Without further ado!!!
Question number 2~
If we had a free weekend together, what activity would you like to do? Good luck everyone!! Talk to you again~
Satoshi-kun
The obvious answer was fishing, but Nino was guessing that at least half of the participants would answer with that. They would, of course, since the first question was so straightforward, they wouldn't suspect this one would be any different. But Nino had the advantage: he knew that if Ohno had taken his advice, this question would have been designed to eliminate a large portion of the pool. So it couldn't be as easy as that. Fishing wouldn't really work either since Ohno fished to de-stress, and on a free weekend, he wouldn't have stress to deal with. It had to be something else. Nino had a novel of answers ready at the tips of his fingers, but there was a trick to this. He had to give a good answer, but not be so perceptive as to reveal himself as someone actually knew Ohno in real life.
Spending time with Ohno's family? Playing Wii? Working with clay? Those would be all be suitable answers, if a bit unexciting. Nino debated it for a few more minutes, and then typed, Something relaxing, where we can sit side by side on a couch and just be lazy together. Nino submitted his answer.
When Nino got to the studio, Aiba was already there, eating his first bento of the day.
"Morning," Nino said, taking a seat beside him and flipping open his DS. The title frames had barely started playing when Aiba tapped him on the shoulder.
“Can we talk?”
“Um, no?” Nino said.
“Come on,” Aiba insisted. “Let’s talk, just for a bit.”
“No means no.” But Aiba actually looked quite serious for whatever-o’clock it was in the morning, staring at Nino with those big eyes of his. “Quit it,” Nino snapped, and before Aiba could ask: “Quit looking at me like you feel bad for me.” He turned back to his game.
“Nino, stop playing for a sec. Nino. Nino, I’m trying to help you here.”
“Bite me.”
Aiba pursed his lips, then reached over and plucked Nino’s DS out of his hands.
"Hey!" Nino protested, as Aiba closed the player and sat on it. "I was using that!" He shoved at Aiba, but Aiba wrapped his arms around Nino and pulled him into his chest. "What are you doing, you idiot?!"
"Nino," Aiba sang, rocking Nino. "We're going to have a heart-to-heart session right now."
"No," Nino countered hastily. "Let's not. Really."
"It'll be good for you, I promise," Aiba pushed. "I know there are a ton of pent-up feelings in here," he laid a hand on Nino's heart, "that are dying to be let out! I'm here for you, Nino-chan!"
"I'd rather not do this, that's what I'm feeling right now."
Aiba ignored him. "Look into my eyes, child," he said, cupping Nino's face. "I can see that you're upset."
"Who wouldn’t be, in this position?!" Nino yelled.
"Not about this, stupid," Aiba tsked. "About yesterday. About Captain's contest."
"I'm not upset," Nino said, prying Aiba's hands off of him. "Sho got me about this too, what's with you guys? I'm just pissed about how the producers are using Leader as a promotional tool, but that's his business. I'm not going to stop him from doing it or anything." Nino definitely was not stopping anything. He was just ... joining in on the fun.
"Really?" Aiba asked. "Do you swear? You have to swear not to ruin this for Oh-chan."
"Why would I want to?" Nino said, avoiding the question.
Aiba tilted his head onto Nino's shoulder. "We just want you guys to be happy," he said sincerely.
"I'm plenty happy," Nino grumbled. A minute passed in silence. Then, there was a very familiar pfft sound.
"Sorry," Aiba said quickly.
"Did you just fart?" Nino screamed. "YOU'RE SITTING ON MY DS!"
"It was the curry! I didn't mean to! I was trying to hold it in!"
"YOU FARTED ON MY NINTENDO!!"
"I said I was sorry!"
Sho walked into the room, saw Aiba and Nino grappling on the floor, and gingerly stepped over them as he headed over to the coffee pot.
"How is it shaping out today?" Jun asked Ohno, during their break. Ohno was checking the messages on his phone.
"Fine," Ohno said. Nino took that as cue to reach into his bag and pull out his deck of cards. He wanted to listen, but he didn't want to give the impression that he cared or anything. "Lots of them said fishing, or going to the mall, or taking a walk around the park. Stuff like that."
"And were those the answers you were looking for?" Jun asked. Nino shuffled his cards quietly so he could hear Ohno's reply.
"They weren't bad answers," Ohno said, ever kind. "But I was hoping for one that was even..." he stopped.
"Even lazier?" Jun supplied, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, like, sleeping in, or, or..." Again, he trailed off.
"Or just staying at home and doing nothing?" Jun said knowingly.
"Yeah."
Pass! Nino thought victoriously. He bit back his grin.
"Although, that's a typical answer for an idol, isn't it?" Jun said, taking Ohno's cell. "Plus, even regular people enjoy spending weekends like that, so there will be a lot who still answer correctly. Look, 58 percent. You'll have step up your game for tomorrow, Leader."
Ohno nodded. "Yes."
"Ask something about dating this time, alright?"
"Okay."
Dating it is then, Nino thought. He could handle that. He put down his deck and flipped over the top card. Huh.
Two of hearts.
Hello everybody!! This is Satoshi~
Everyone is really amazing!! The responses I received yesterday were amazing! They were all good suggestions and when I do get that weekend free, I'll definitely try to do some of them! But the question is, who will be keeping me company?? (laugh)
Let's keep going forward!
Question number 3~
What is the most important quality you have that you think is necessary in order to date Ohno Satoshi?
Best of luck everyone! Please take care of me~
Satoshi-kun
Nino's head was swarmed with possibilities: kind, liked to fish, good at art, had good drinking tolerance, similar sense of humour, all of the above. If he had to pick something the most important, however, the girl had to have the same pace as Ohno. Yes, that was it. Nino's fingers hovered over the keyboard.
He paused. He didn't want to put that down. It felt … wrong.
It wasn't the lying that bothered Nino. It was the fact that he had to lie. It was the fact that within that set of answers, not a single one actually applied to Nino. Nino wasn't kind, he hated all things related to the sea, had the artistic ability of a blind rat, and actually had the worst drinking tolerance out of all of Arashi. They sometimes laughed about the same things but, off camera, it didn't happen as often. And Nino's pace was no where near Ohno's.
Looking at things this way, Nino really had nothing in common with Ohno at all. Looking at it this way, wouldn't Ohno be disappointed when Nino won? Thinking he'd maybe found the perfect girl and then realizing he'd been tricked the whole time? Nino was far from Ohno's perfect girl; in fact he was the polar opposite of Ohno's perfect girl. And why did that bother him so much?
Nino rubbed his face.
In the end, he typed I understand how important Arashi is to Ohno-kun; I would never break those bonds you share into the dialogue box and pressed submit.
But the question stayed with him, on the way to work, unable to be ignored or resolved. Nino went over his own motives for this ridiculous stunt. He was only in this to protect Ohno from evil harpies, wasn't he? He wasn't some obsessed fan; he didn't actually want to win for the sake of a date with Ohno. He just didn't like the thought of some ditzy teenage slut with too much makeup and not enough wit going out with Ohno on Valentine's Day. “Didn’t like” being a vast, vast understatement. Fuck, Nino recognized this feeling. This was fast turning into jealousy, after all.
This... wasn't good.
Nino wasn't oblivious to the strange relationship he shared with Ohno -- far from it; if Nino had to blame anyone, he would blame himself for starting it, for calling Ohno Oh-chan before Arashi had even debuted. But he couldn't really help it. Ohno was just so... so Ohno, and Nino just -- liked Ohno. Liked Ohno a lot. And it was lucky that Ohno hadn't pushed Nino away, that first time Nino had reached over spontaneously to hug him, unable to control his affection, because otherwise the dynamics within Arashi would be a lot different than they were today. But the point was that Ohno hadn't pushed Nino away, so today they were as they were. And Nino was fine, more than fine, with what they had. He had to be. Because Ohno -- Ohno was too special, Arashi was too special, for Nino to risk for a dumb... inclination? Hope? Un-passing fancy? Idea? A dumb idea like that.
Even within Arashi, there were boundaries that were best left uncrossed. And this particular one with Ohno, if Nino ever went too far... well, there would be consequences, of course. The question was what kind of consequences, and if Nino could bear them. He'd always liked not having to find out, which is why Nino frequently toed the line, but never stepped over it. He preferred being safe than sorry. But this retarded contest was bringing all his worst feelings to the forefront, and if Nino went any further, he might do something he really regretted.
And from the looks of things, something he regretted was rapidly becoming a very real possibility. So, before he overdid it, Nino had to stop this. He had to drop out.
Fuck.
"Wow, what crawled up your butt this morning?" Aiba asked, after Nino snapped at him for the third time in five minutes.
"Leave him alone," Jun said, smirking. "He's just moping about Valentine's Day."
"Yeah, I was pretty pissed when your mom cancelled on me," Nino replied. "Now how am I going to get laid?" Jun rolled his eyes.
"Seriously," he said. "It's been three days. Don't you think you should get over it by now? The contest isn't just going to blow up just because you want it to."
"I want no such thing," Nino raised his chin. "I am one hundred percent in full support of this immoral publicity stunt. You know as well as I do that my two purposes in life are magic tricks and whoring out our Leader."
"You're fine enough whoring him around the four of us, anyway," Jun said, raising an eyebrow.
"That's because I know where you all live," Nino said, smiling sharply. "So, you know. If it ever comes to that."
"Waaah," Aiba grinned. "Nino-chan's scary!! Nino's scary when he wants to protect Captain!"
Nino smacked him. "Shut up! I'm only concerned for his well-being! I'm not doing anything!"
"Are you sure that's it?" Jun asked, looking at Nino strangely. "Just concern?"
Nino quieted. "What else?"
Jun met his gaze. "That's just what I asked you."
Nino tensed. "It's not --"
"Nino-chan cares about Captain, right?" Aiba interrupted. "Nino just wants Captain to have a fun date."
"Right," Nino answered, grateful for the way out. "Isn't it the same with you guys?"
"Us?" Aiba looked at Jun. "Well, we want that too, of course, but it's different with us, I think."
"Why?" Nino demanded, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Something in Aiba's voice --
"He's just being stupid," Jun said immediately, slapping Aiba's head. "I don't know what he's talking about either."
"Hey!"
"You know," Sho coughed, "some of us are trying to read." He ruffled his newspapers noisily.
Nino ripped them away from him. “There, problem solved.”
“Oi!”
“That’s my technique!” Aiba complained.
A few minutes later, Ohno walked into the room, looking perplexed. "What's up, Leader?" Jun asked.
"It's not, um," Ohno said, taking out his cell phone. "There's something weird about this one participant."
Ah, dang, Nino thought.
The four of them gathered around Sho's laptop as Sho scrolled through the entries made by the fan that concerned Ohno. To Nino's utmost relief, it wasn't RamenLuver99. It was someone by the name of Ohnosan_no1fan, and Ohno was right. There was something eerily familiar about the way she talked.
Question 1 answer (submitted 02/01/2009): Ohno-kun's big goal is to catch a GT! I heard this on an episode of Shukudai-kun! I watch that show every week, and I hope one day I'll be able to guest star on that show with Ohno-kun! My dream is to be play in that singing duo Aibaland with Ohno-kun, and going on a fishing trip together too! (laugh!)
Question 2 answer (submitted 02/02/2009): A good way to spend a weekend with Ohno-kun would be to spend some relaxing time with Ohno-kun's family! I also learned this from an episode of Shukudai-kun, but Ohno-san's family loves to play Wii! I love Wii too! Especially Wii Fitness! It's my dream to one day dance as well as Ohno-kun can and I'm working hard!! Please support me, Ohno-kun!!!!
Question 3 answer (submitted 02/03/2009): My best quality is that I love Ohno-kun! I really look up to you and think you are the coolest! It's my dream to be as cool as Ohno-kun! I joined my company because of Ohno-kun's inspiration! If Ohno-kun were to date me, I'm sure we'd have a lot of fun together!! We have a lot in common, actually!! (This is a hint, Ohno-kun!!) (laugh!!)
As soon as Nino read the word "company," his blood ran cold.
"You don't think --" Aiba said, looking at Jun.
"It does sound a lot like him," Jun said, looking at Sho.
"And there's no rule about having to be a girl, is there?" Sho said, looking at Ohno. Ohno shook his head.
Simultaneously, all four of them turned to look at Nino.
"Chinen, that little SHIT," Nino spat, expression so fierce that the others winced. "I am going to destroy him."
part two
Title: Yours, RamenLuver99
Rating: PG-13 for Nino's potty mouth
Genre: lol, I don't know. General? Melodrama?
Length: ~12,300 OTL
Summary: As a promotion for his new show, Ohno is put into a dating competition for Valentine's Day. Nino protests the only way he knows how: underhandedly.
Notes: I know that Japanese pronouns are gendered, but please pretend that they aren't, for this story. As well, please do not take the idea of individual fan clubs seriously; they were made up for the sake of the fic.
Thank you very much to: still_ciircee for correcting my grammar, waxrose for emotional support and encouragement, and especially jliann for not only telling me what she liked, but stuff she didn't like. Jun's entire snarky conversation with Nino can be credited to her. Thanks for your help, everyone! Oh, and a HUGE THANK YOU for everyone who participated in the contest! Awesome fandom is awesome.
Yours, RamenLuver99
Of course, nowadays, if someone asked Nino how the whole debacle came about, he refused to take responsibility for it. If you knew me, he'd say, you wouldn't have expected me to act otherwise. Action reaction, he'd say. I didn't like the situation, so I changed it to my favour. He'd smile innocently and ask, wouldn't you have done the same? Nowadays, if someone asked Ohno about it, Ohno would chuff out a quiet giggle and say, Well, I think it was more me than him, but it doesn’t matter, really. It's Nino, right? You can't fight against that.
This was how it started: with the news.
"YOU SAID YES??" Nino screamed, jumping to his feet.
Ohno looked up at him, eyes wide. "It -- they said that it would be a good idea, as a promotion --"
"Why would they even suggest it?! Who the hell do they think you are? Jun?"
Ohno shrugged helplessly.
Nino let out an exasperated grunt and stormed out of the room.
Jun, Sho and Aiba stared at the door, then back at Ohno.
"Huh?" Aiba said, bewildered. "What happened?"
What happened was that Ohno made a huge mistake, signing up for such a stupid publicity stunt. Wasn't that fucking obvious? Nino was in Johnny's and he knew how to promote things as well as he knew how to breathe, so he knew that there were certain methods of advertising that were suited towards certain people. Aiba, for example, could bring a live pelican to a set in order to promote his totally pelican-free stage play. Sho could dress up in a suit and sit in his newscaster’s chair, earnestly asking for everyone's support, while images of him skipping around in a white jumpsuit and dirty blond wig played during commercial break. And Jun, Jun could participate in a rigged dating show and go on a rigged date and Nino wouldn't bat an eye. But Ohno couldn't do those things. At least, he shouldn't. Especially that last one. He shouldn't have agreed -- damn it, and his wasn't even rigged at all.
In order to promote his new TBS show, the story of a washed-up rock star who'd gotten dumped by his girlfriend, the producers of Uta no Oniisan had the inspired idea to host a dating competition, starring Ohno Satoshi. Members from his official fanclub were given passwords to an account on the show's website, where they could sign up to compete to win Ohno's affections. Ohno would send one email daily, asking a question concerning a subject of his choice, and the girls were to give a simple and succinct answer in reply. Ohno would then rate the answers, and a predetermined percentage of his favourites were allowed to move on and answer the following day's question. The prize for the single girl who most impressed Ohno was a special Valentine's Day date, dinner included, with the man himself: no ruses, no cameras (aside from a few publicity photos), no one else except the two of them together on the most romantic night of the year.
Nino seethed at the thought of the gamey-ness of it all. Wasn't this a type of extortion? Manipulation? Prostitution? This wasn't some funny joke like Jun's date with Ooshima-san had been, this was a real date. And it would be a girl who Ohno liked because he would have had chosen her out of thousands of others. And on fucking Valentine's Day. Ridiculous. Nino didn't believe for a second that any good would come out of this. Where was the screening process? Where were the background checks? Who knew what the girl would attempt to do? Ohno might get poisoned. He might get kidnapped, held hostage, tortured in some grimy basement of a yakuza safe base. He might have to kiss her. He might have to put out. This was bad. This was a horrible idea and Nino was not going to take it sitting down. He had the virtue of Arashi's leader to defend.
Nino headed to one of the open offices in the building and sat down at a computer. He searched up the drama’s website and clicked on the link to Ohno’s contest. A few strokes of the keyboard, and there, he was registered.
He knew signing up for Ohno's fanclub all those years ago would come in handy one day.
An important point: Nino didn't do the whole jealousy thing. He had experienced the ugly side of jealousy as a kid growing up in a low-income household, and he'd gotten tired of the futility of it before he'd even finished high school. If he found he was jealous of something, it was merely a matter of relieving the pressure. Nino frequently analyzed the world into two categories: things that were worth effort, and things that weren't. Matters of love were slotted as "not worth the effort" by default, so Nino really had no idea what he was capable of, should he ever decide to fight for someone he wanted. That wasn't to say that he wanted that date. He just didn't want anyone else to get it. Not because Nino was jealous. Nino was protective. This was Ohno, Arashi's one and only Leader, and Nino couldn't rest easy, just letting Ohno go on some random date for no reason. Okay, so there was a reason, and the date wasn't really random, but the issue remained that Ohno was being pimped out. Pimped out! And not for Arashi, either. This had to be corrected immediately.
The standard cliché was: if you can't beat them, join them. Nino didn't work with clichés. Besides, it was easier to join them first, and then beat them.
"There you are," Sho said, when Nino returned, feeling considerably more calm. "Where did you run off to?"
"Bathroom," Nino said, and deliberately avoided looking at Ohno as he sat down. He could tell that Ohno was staring at him, searching for a sign that he could squish up right beside Nino as per their usual routine. Nino ignored him. He was strategizing, and he didn't want any distractions. He would have to conduct himself carefully for the next few days to avoid suspicion. Since he'd left the room in a huff not ten minutes ago, showing a sudden change of heart towards the competition would trigger questions right away. No, better to sulk about it for today, and then gradually loosen up to the idea. By then, Ohno would probably allow Nino to give opinions about the girls' answers. And Nino could help steer him towards the answers that Nino would be providing. And once Nino won the game, he'd show up on Ohno's doorstep with a six-pack of beer and some DVDs and they'd have a relaxing guy's night, just the two of them.
Nino wasn’t worried about the media's reaction, should he win. The fangirls would eat it up, definitely. Nino was more worried about Ohno's reaction: would he be happy? Angry? Would he feel betrayed? Would he feel relieved? He'd be surprised, for sure. But Nino could handle that. And as long as they had a good time that evening, Ohno really couldn't stay mad at Nino. He might even thank Nino for doing this.
"Anyway, don't stress out about it," Jun was telling Ohno, patting his shoulder. "Just pick your favourite answers, that's all, don't worry about the girl. Logically, the last one standing is bound to be someone you can at least tolerate. Who knows, the date might even be fun."
Nino was thinking the exact same thing.
The next morning, Nino rose bright and early to check the website on his laptop.
Hello, RamenLuver99, you have (1) new message from Ohno-kun!! Would you like to read it?
Nino clicked yes.
Hello everyone!!! This is Satoshi~
Thank you for participating in this contest!! I am looking forward to get to know everyone! Let's all have fun together and not have any hard feelings for anyone, okay? Please do your best!! If you pass today's question, you will get another email tomorrow morning!!! Look forward to it!! Well, shall we get started?
Question number 1~
What is Ohno Satoshi's BIG New Year's goal for 2009??
I will work hard with this event and my drama, so please support me and Uta no Oniisan!!
Satoshi-kun
That was his question?? Wasn’t that too easy? Nino refreshed the webpage five times, but the question remained on the screen, unchanged. Useless. It was completely useless. This would narrow down his list of suitors from ten thousand to maybe nine and a half thousand. What a complete idiot. Nino would have to talk to Ohno about this. Subtly, without giving himself away.
Nino typed GT in the comment box and submitted his answer.
It turned out that Nino needn't have worried. When he got into work, Jun was already giving Ohno a lecture about the importance of asking relevant questions and the necessity of narrowing down the number of entrees.
"Do you want to go through thousands of answers everyday? I know the website has that filtering program, but there's still a lot of work for you. And you can't ask about yourself, you have to ask questions that will tell you about the girl. They already know you well enough, or else they wouldn't be in your fanclub."
"Ah," Ohno nodded. "I see."
Jun sighed. "Did you only type that question because you couldn't think of anything else?"
"I thought it was a really important thing to talk about!" Ohno protested.
"A better question might be, 'If you were a fisherman, what kind of fish would you want to catch?'" Sho suggested.
"Ah!" Ohno pointed. "That's it!"
Aiba laughed. "Leader, let us help you with your thing, okay? We don't want you ending up with some really weird scary lady by the end of the two weeks."
"It'll probably turn out that the really weird scary lady is exactly his type," Nino said, walking in.
"Nino, did you see Captain's question for today?" Aiba grinned. He grabbed Ohno's cell phone. "It was so easy! Look at the statistics, 96 percent of the people answered correctly so far!"
96 percent, Nino thought, peering at the screen of Ohno's phone. Shoot. That was more than he'd anticipated.
"Man, Oh-chan," Nino smirked. "Maybe you just want to go on a date with all of them?"
Ohno frowned slightly. "This is hard, guys. How do I know what to ask?"
"You're doing it backwards," Nino said flatly. "You're wondering, what kind of things do I want the person to know? But that's not the point. You have to think of the kind of answer you want the girl to say, and then ask a question that might lead to that. Get it?"
Ohno blinked, and Nino met his gaze, expressionless.
"Okay," Ohno said. "Thanks."
"Thank me by not getting raped by the time this is over," Nino muttered.
Stupid Sho pulled Nino aside later while the others were prepping for the photoshoot.
"Nino," he started, and Nino knew what was coming. Sho was wearing his well-meaning expression, the one that screamed, I know this is difficult for you, but I sympathize, while sorrowful music played in the background and a single, glistening tear rolled down his cheek.
"Sho-chan," Nino put a finger to his lips. "It's nothing, okay? It's really nothing."
Sho sighed. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay with this."
"Why wouldn't I be?" Nino said defensively. "It's part of the job, right?"
"Good, I'm glad you understand," Sho said sarcastically, clearly not believing him. "In any case, I think you ought to be more considerate."
"I am being very considerate. I was helping Oh-chan earlier, wasn't I?"
Sho gave him a look. "You mean while you were deleting all the messages on his phone? You looked like you do when you're going on a killing spree in a video game."
"Helping," Nino corrected. "Look, if I were really against it, don't you think I would've hacked the website? I haven't."
"You haven't yet," Sho said.
"I know, I've been a fucking angel," Nino agreed. "And besides, isn't it you guys who are acting strange? Don't you think this contest is suspicious? We don't have any control over who wins."
"Of course we don't," Sho said, crossing his arms. "But Satoshi does. Because it's his event."
Nino glared. "He can barely tie a tie, and now you want to send him on a whole date by himself? It's like you don't care about his safety at all!"
"But it's just a date," Sho moaned, putting his face in his hands.
"When he shows up the morning after crying about how he was violated by some barbarian woman, I'm going to tell him you said that," Nino said.
Nino posed for the camera on auto-pilot. While the photographer told him to lean on the wall, smile a bit wider, tilt his head to the left, Nino's brain was running on overdrive. What did Sho know anyway? Sho's own fanclub was dominated by middle aged married women who on his birthday, instead of stuffing his cards with their panties, stuffed them with lists of non-fiction book recommendations. Sho trusted girls. Sho was really the only one in the group who took Ohno's age seriously, and thought Ohno was capable of taking care of himself -- at least when it came to females -- for a night. But Nino knew better. It wasn't that he didn't think that Ohno was an idiot (some of the time, at least), it was that he knew Ohno was too kind. Even if Ohno had misgivings about certain things, he would go through with them if the request was made politely and sincerely. In this business, it weren't for the rest of Arashi surrounding him, he would've been walked all over like a fuzzy Hello Kitty bath mat.
Nino had been there when Ohno first got word of his scandal. He was there to see the shock on Ohno's face morph into devastation and fear and shame. At that time, Nino had reached for him, but Ohno could move as fast as lightning when he wanted to; Nino had blinked and Ohno was gone. He ended up locking himself in the bathroom for a good half hour, refusing all words of support, and Nino had always regretted that: not acting fast enough when Ohno was hurting. He wasn't going to let this thing become a repeat performance of that day. Nino was not going to let anyone take advantage of Ohno again, not if he could help it.
See, Nino thought, how could anyone argue against that? Nino was only doing the logical thing by secretly entering in his bandmate's contest and pretending to be a girl so he could ruin the whole setup from the inside out. Obviously.
The next day came, and Nino rose promptly to check his email.
Hello everyone! This is Satoshi~ is everybody excited?!!
Congratulations to everyone for making it to the second day. Please forgive me if today's question is not as simple as yesterday's. Honestly, I was really surprised at how many of you answered correctly!! Thank you everyone for supporting me all this time and caring about my interests!! I will do my best to catch that GT and share my happiness with everyone. Without further ado!!!
Question number 2~
If we had a free weekend together, what activity would you like to do? Good luck everyone!! Talk to you again~
Satoshi-kun
The obvious answer was fishing, but Nino was guessing that at least half of the participants would answer with that. They would, of course, since the first question was so straightforward, they wouldn't suspect this one would be any different. But Nino had the advantage: he knew that if Ohno had taken his advice, this question would have been designed to eliminate a large portion of the pool. So it couldn't be as easy as that. Fishing wouldn't really work either since Ohno fished to de-stress, and on a free weekend, he wouldn't have stress to deal with. It had to be something else. Nino had a novel of answers ready at the tips of his fingers, but there was a trick to this. He had to give a good answer, but not be so perceptive as to reveal himself as someone actually knew Ohno in real life.
Spending time with Ohno's family? Playing Wii? Working with clay? Those would be all be suitable answers, if a bit unexciting. Nino debated it for a few more minutes, and then typed, Something relaxing, where we can sit side by side on a couch and just be lazy together. Nino submitted his answer.
When Nino got to the studio, Aiba was already there, eating his first bento of the day.
"Morning," Nino said, taking a seat beside him and flipping open his DS. The title frames had barely started playing when Aiba tapped him on the shoulder.
“Can we talk?”
“Um, no?” Nino said.
“Come on,” Aiba insisted. “Let’s talk, just for a bit.”
“No means no.” But Aiba actually looked quite serious for whatever-o’clock it was in the morning, staring at Nino with those big eyes of his. “Quit it,” Nino snapped, and before Aiba could ask: “Quit looking at me like you feel bad for me.” He turned back to his game.
“Nino, stop playing for a sec. Nino. Nino, I’m trying to help you here.”
“Bite me.”
Aiba pursed his lips, then reached over and plucked Nino’s DS out of his hands.
"Hey!" Nino protested, as Aiba closed the player and sat on it. "I was using that!" He shoved at Aiba, but Aiba wrapped his arms around Nino and pulled him into his chest. "What are you doing, you idiot?!"
"Nino," Aiba sang, rocking Nino. "We're going to have a heart-to-heart session right now."
"No," Nino countered hastily. "Let's not. Really."
"It'll be good for you, I promise," Aiba pushed. "I know there are a ton of pent-up feelings in here," he laid a hand on Nino's heart, "that are dying to be let out! I'm here for you, Nino-chan!"
"I'd rather not do this, that's what I'm feeling right now."
Aiba ignored him. "Look into my eyes, child," he said, cupping Nino's face. "I can see that you're upset."
"Who wouldn’t be, in this position?!" Nino yelled.
"Not about this, stupid," Aiba tsked. "About yesterday. About Captain's contest."
"I'm not upset," Nino said, prying Aiba's hands off of him. "Sho got me about this too, what's with you guys? I'm just pissed about how the producers are using Leader as a promotional tool, but that's his business. I'm not going to stop him from doing it or anything." Nino definitely was not stopping anything. He was just ... joining in on the fun.
"Really?" Aiba asked. "Do you swear? You have to swear not to ruin this for Oh-chan."
"Why would I want to?" Nino said, avoiding the question.
Aiba tilted his head onto Nino's shoulder. "We just want you guys to be happy," he said sincerely.
"I'm plenty happy," Nino grumbled. A minute passed in silence. Then, there was a very familiar pfft sound.
"Sorry," Aiba said quickly.
"Did you just fart?" Nino screamed. "YOU'RE SITTING ON MY DS!"
"It was the curry! I didn't mean to! I was trying to hold it in!"
"YOU FARTED ON MY NINTENDO!!"
"I said I was sorry!"
Sho walked into the room, saw Aiba and Nino grappling on the floor, and gingerly stepped over them as he headed over to the coffee pot.
"How is it shaping out today?" Jun asked Ohno, during their break. Ohno was checking the messages on his phone.
"Fine," Ohno said. Nino took that as cue to reach into his bag and pull out his deck of cards. He wanted to listen, but he didn't want to give the impression that he cared or anything. "Lots of them said fishing, or going to the mall, or taking a walk around the park. Stuff like that."
"And were those the answers you were looking for?" Jun asked. Nino shuffled his cards quietly so he could hear Ohno's reply.
"They weren't bad answers," Ohno said, ever kind. "But I was hoping for one that was even..." he stopped.
"Even lazier?" Jun supplied, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, like, sleeping in, or, or..." Again, he trailed off.
"Or just staying at home and doing nothing?" Jun said knowingly.
"Yeah."
Pass! Nino thought victoriously. He bit back his grin.
"Although, that's a typical answer for an idol, isn't it?" Jun said, taking Ohno's cell. "Plus, even regular people enjoy spending weekends like that, so there will be a lot who still answer correctly. Look, 58 percent. You'll have step up your game for tomorrow, Leader."
Ohno nodded. "Yes."
"Ask something about dating this time, alright?"
"Okay."
Dating it is then, Nino thought. He could handle that. He put down his deck and flipped over the top card. Huh.
Two of hearts.
Hello everybody!! This is Satoshi~
Everyone is really amazing!! The responses I received yesterday were amazing! They were all good suggestions and when I do get that weekend free, I'll definitely try to do some of them! But the question is, who will be keeping me company?? (laugh)
Let's keep going forward!
Question number 3~
What is the most important quality you have that you think is necessary in order to date Ohno Satoshi?
Best of luck everyone! Please take care of me~
Satoshi-kun
Nino's head was swarmed with possibilities: kind, liked to fish, good at art, had good drinking tolerance, similar sense of humour, all of the above. If he had to pick something the most important, however, the girl had to have the same pace as Ohno. Yes, that was it. Nino's fingers hovered over the keyboard.
He paused. He didn't want to put that down. It felt … wrong.
It wasn't the lying that bothered Nino. It was the fact that he had to lie. It was the fact that within that set of answers, not a single one actually applied to Nino. Nino wasn't kind, he hated all things related to the sea, had the artistic ability of a blind rat, and actually had the worst drinking tolerance out of all of Arashi. They sometimes laughed about the same things but, off camera, it didn't happen as often. And Nino's pace was no where near Ohno's.
Looking at things this way, Nino really had nothing in common with Ohno at all. Looking at it this way, wouldn't Ohno be disappointed when Nino won? Thinking he'd maybe found the perfect girl and then realizing he'd been tricked the whole time? Nino was far from Ohno's perfect girl; in fact he was the polar opposite of Ohno's perfect girl. And why did that bother him so much?
Nino rubbed his face.
In the end, he typed I understand how important Arashi is to Ohno-kun; I would never break those bonds you share into the dialogue box and pressed submit.
But the question stayed with him, on the way to work, unable to be ignored or resolved. Nino went over his own motives for this ridiculous stunt. He was only in this to protect Ohno from evil harpies, wasn't he? He wasn't some obsessed fan; he didn't actually want to win for the sake of a date with Ohno. He just didn't like the thought of some ditzy teenage slut with too much makeup and not enough wit going out with Ohno on Valentine's Day. “Didn’t like” being a vast, vast understatement. Fuck, Nino recognized this feeling. This was fast turning into jealousy, after all.
This... wasn't good.
Nino wasn't oblivious to the strange relationship he shared with Ohno -- far from it; if Nino had to blame anyone, he would blame himself for starting it, for calling Ohno Oh-chan before Arashi had even debuted. But he couldn't really help it. Ohno was just so... so Ohno, and Nino just -- liked Ohno. Liked Ohno a lot. And it was lucky that Ohno hadn't pushed Nino away, that first time Nino had reached over spontaneously to hug him, unable to control his affection, because otherwise the dynamics within Arashi would be a lot different than they were today. But the point was that Ohno hadn't pushed Nino away, so today they were as they were. And Nino was fine, more than fine, with what they had. He had to be. Because Ohno -- Ohno was too special, Arashi was too special, for Nino to risk for a dumb... inclination? Hope? Un-passing fancy? Idea? A dumb idea like that.
Even within Arashi, there were boundaries that were best left uncrossed. And this particular one with Ohno, if Nino ever went too far... well, there would be consequences, of course. The question was what kind of consequences, and if Nino could bear them. He'd always liked not having to find out, which is why Nino frequently toed the line, but never stepped over it. He preferred being safe than sorry. But this retarded contest was bringing all his worst feelings to the forefront, and if Nino went any further, he might do something he really regretted.
And from the looks of things, something he regretted was rapidly becoming a very real possibility. So, before he overdid it, Nino had to stop this. He had to drop out.
Fuck.
"Wow, what crawled up your butt this morning?" Aiba asked, after Nino snapped at him for the third time in five minutes.
"Leave him alone," Jun said, smirking. "He's just moping about Valentine's Day."
"Yeah, I was pretty pissed when your mom cancelled on me," Nino replied. "Now how am I going to get laid?" Jun rolled his eyes.
"Seriously," he said. "It's been three days. Don't you think you should get over it by now? The contest isn't just going to blow up just because you want it to."
"I want no such thing," Nino raised his chin. "I am one hundred percent in full support of this immoral publicity stunt. You know as well as I do that my two purposes in life are magic tricks and whoring out our Leader."
"You're fine enough whoring him around the four of us, anyway," Jun said, raising an eyebrow.
"That's because I know where you all live," Nino said, smiling sharply. "So, you know. If it ever comes to that."
"Waaah," Aiba grinned. "Nino-chan's scary!! Nino's scary when he wants to protect Captain!"
Nino smacked him. "Shut up! I'm only concerned for his well-being! I'm not doing anything!"
"Are you sure that's it?" Jun asked, looking at Nino strangely. "Just concern?"
Nino quieted. "What else?"
Jun met his gaze. "That's just what I asked you."
Nino tensed. "It's not --"
"Nino-chan cares about Captain, right?" Aiba interrupted. "Nino just wants Captain to have a fun date."
"Right," Nino answered, grateful for the way out. "Isn't it the same with you guys?"
"Us?" Aiba looked at Jun. "Well, we want that too, of course, but it's different with us, I think."
"Why?" Nino demanded, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Something in Aiba's voice --
"He's just being stupid," Jun said immediately, slapping Aiba's head. "I don't know what he's talking about either."
"Hey!"
"You know," Sho coughed, "some of us are trying to read." He ruffled his newspapers noisily.
Nino ripped them away from him. “There, problem solved.”
“Oi!”
“That’s my technique!” Aiba complained.
A few minutes later, Ohno walked into the room, looking perplexed. "What's up, Leader?" Jun asked.
"It's not, um," Ohno said, taking out his cell phone. "There's something weird about this one participant."
Ah, dang, Nino thought.
The four of them gathered around Sho's laptop as Sho scrolled through the entries made by the fan that concerned Ohno. To Nino's utmost relief, it wasn't RamenLuver99. It was someone by the name of Ohnosan_no1fan, and Ohno was right. There was something eerily familiar about the way she talked.
Question 1 answer (submitted 02/01/2009): Ohno-kun's big goal is to catch a GT! I heard this on an episode of Shukudai-kun! I watch that show every week, and I hope one day I'll be able to guest star on that show with Ohno-kun! My dream is to be play in that singing duo Aibaland with Ohno-kun, and going on a fishing trip together too! (laugh!)
Question 2 answer (submitted 02/02/2009): A good way to spend a weekend with Ohno-kun would be to spend some relaxing time with Ohno-kun's family! I also learned this from an episode of Shukudai-kun, but Ohno-san's family loves to play Wii! I love Wii too! Especially Wii Fitness! It's my dream to one day dance as well as Ohno-kun can and I'm working hard!! Please support me, Ohno-kun!!!!
Question 3 answer (submitted 02/03/2009): My best quality is that I love Ohno-kun! I really look up to you and think you are the coolest! It's my dream to be as cool as Ohno-kun! I joined my company because of Ohno-kun's inspiration! If Ohno-kun were to date me, I'm sure we'd have a lot of fun together!! We have a lot in common, actually!! (This is a hint, Ohno-kun!!) (laugh!!)
As soon as Nino read the word "company," his blood ran cold.
"You don't think --" Aiba said, looking at Jun.
"It does sound a lot like him," Jun said, looking at Sho.
"And there's no rule about having to be a girl, is there?" Sho said, looking at Ohno. Ohno shook his head.
Simultaneously, all four of them turned to look at Nino.
"Chinen, that little SHIT," Nino spat, expression so fierce that the others winced. "I am going to destroy him."
part two