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((Pre-story: Cyclonus visits. Auspex helps Scourge to sever his bond with Void. Parts of this are rated C for Creepy. Spark violation is really not a fun subject. :\ ))
Cyclonus: *It's been a while since Scourge disappeared and Cyclonus has started to get worried. He heads to the coordinates Scourge gave him, not quite sure what he's going to find. There seems to be nothing around here but junk and a strange building in the middle of nowhere*
Auspex: *Auspex has settled on one of the seats in the main hall of the sanctuary, reviewing a datapad of notes she's taken while researching a vision of the past that Primus had recently given her. A small nudge in the back of her mind indicates that someone is close by the temple, but she leaves them be for the moment; if Primus wants them to come here, they will.*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus keeps his gun close and approaches the temple. If Scourge isn't there, they might know where he is. And if they've done anything to him...well, it's a small building.*
Auspex: *she senses wariness, suspicion... she lays aside her datapad and wanders toward the main entrance, but doesn't yet venture outside. She is wary, herself*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus stays near the door, making sure he has a quick way out* Scourge?
Auspex: *Auspex blinks once, before cautiously approaching whomever it is that is hovering in the doorway. He looks second-handedly familiar; one of the high-ranking Decepticons, perhaps, though she's not completely sure who he is* Welcome to this sanctuary of Primus, friend. Who is it you seek..? *she heard very well what he said, she simply wants to be sure he doesn't mean Scourge any harm*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus's gun isn't point directly at her, not yet, but he's keeping it close.* I'm looking for a mech named Scourge. *she's not got a sigil, but she doesn't seem hostile either*
Auspex: *she watches him carefully. It is traditional to not enter a sanctuary so obviously armed, but she gathers he's one of many that haven't had much of an interest in visiting such a place. She debates what she senses; there is no sense of ill-will toward herself, only wariness, and no hostility toward Scourge either. She remains careful, though* May... I ask who you are?
Cyclonus: You first. *eyes her warily as he takes another step in*
Auspex: *She lets him come further into the hall, still watching, and sensing, attempting to anticipate any hostility. she answers simply* I am Auspex. I serve Primus.
Cyclonus: *derisive snort* I suppose it's better than the alternative. I am Cyclonus.
Auspex: *Auspex allows her wariness to fade slightly* Ah. *she senses no deceit, anything that would tell her he is not who he says he is* Of Void's universe, I take it?
Cyclonus: *His gaze hardens* And how would you know that?
Auspex: *Contrary to his rising suspicion, she is more relieved now* It was an informed assumption. Scourge spoke of you. I gather that you mean him no harm? *Might as well be sure this is safe...*
Cyclonus: I'd like to see him first. *so he is here, or has been here. But his status is in question*
Auspex: *she frowns in concern* You must see him before you decide that you mean him no harm? He is safe; I would prefer if he remain so. *She does begin walking slowly in the direction of the farther rooms, at least to show Cyclonus that she's not refusing him entry*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus follows her, keeping his gun close* He has not been responding to my comm signals for almost a month. Exactly how safe as he been? *if she's so much as yelled at Scourge, he'll tear her and this whole temple apart*
Auspex: *She turns to glance back at him, slightly surprised* I... this is a different universe than your own; Scourge came here by way of... some universe/dimensional shift, I think. Perhaps it affected communications... *she considers this with a troubled frown; she hopes that's the cause. But she relaxes considerably as she senses his protectiveness toward Scourge. This is the right Cyclonus, and the right sentiment* I am charged, by Primus, to care for his children, should they have ailments of the spark and the emotions. Needless to say, Scourge was in need of help. He has been staying here in this sanctuary.
Cyclonus: *doesn't lower his gun arm* I won't deny that Scourge is in need of...something. *it's rather hard to admit his triadmate's weakness to a complete stranger* But that also makes it easy for someone to take advantage of him. Let me see him.
Auspex: *She studies him for another moment, before nodding in compliance* This way, then. *she leads him to one of the open entrances behind the main mosaic, then starts down the inner corridor to the extra rooms for refugees. She sends a short comm to Scourge*
//Scourge, I believe you have a visitor.//
Scourge: //Mmph?// Scourge groggily lifts his head and onlines his optics. //Who?//
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus follows her, still making sure he can get back easily*
Auspex: *Auspex winces at Scourge's disoriented tone* //I'm sorry if I've interrupted your rest... but Cyclonus is here.// She passes the door to Scourge's room, then turns slightly and indicates it to Cyclonus, keeping in mind his probable cultural aversion to turning one's back on a potential hostile party, silly as she finds it to be*
Scourge: *Scourge backs up against the wall as Cyclonus enters* Cyclonus. *isn't sure what to do here*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus moves sideways, keeping Auspex where he can see her* Are you all right, Scourge?
Scourge: Yeah. Fine. Sorry about the comm-link, I couldn't get through. *he gestures at Auspex, still not quite awake. He took perhaps a bit too much energon last night--sorry, Auspex* We've been talking.
Cyclonus: *switches to commlink to speak with him and sits down on the berth*
Auspex: *Auspex stays in the doorway, but watches carefully. She needs to see how they interact together, even if she can't hear them.*
Scourge: *They speak for a while, heads close together. Scourge is still looking away, and Cyclonus moves his hand so their fingertips are barely touching. They both seem to be ashamed, somehow*
Auspex: *she watches, somewhat protectively, but as unobtrusively as she can. The shame, while potentially troubling, may be a good thing in this case*
Scourge: *They're obviously talking, but they barely seem to look at each other let alone touch. Scourge's optics flicker blearily; he's not completely slept off his hangover*
Auspex: *Auspex's optics flicker as she begins to note that Scourge's groginess isn't to be blamed solely on an interuppted recharge. She sighs softly as she watches over both of them... the lack of eye contact makes her uneasy; perhaps they're not communicating as well as she thought, especially taking Scourge's disorientation into account*
Cyclonus: *Scourge leans back against the wall, shaking his head. Cyclonus frowns and pulls away from him.* He's tired.
Auspex: *She frowns, blinking at Scourge unhappily. Her voice is softly reproachful* Scourge... what did you do?
Scourge: *Scourge groans and rubs his head, looking at the floor* Drank too much, maybe. Sorry. *there seems to be a distinct lack of people meeting each others' eyes today*
Auspex: *She sighs softly* 'Maybe'? *she frowns as his gaze hits the floor, glancing briefly at Cyclonus before gently adressing Scourge again* Why are you so studiously avoiding optic contact?
Scourge: *still looking at the floor* I took too much of your energon. I'm sorry. *Cyclonus seems almost resentful of the respect he's showing her*
Auspex: *she shakes her head slightly at Scourge, noting Cyclonus's reaction, but leaving it alone for the moment* It's all right; I am only concerned that you may make yourself ill. *She pauses, silently observing both Decepticons, before resuming in the same gentle tone* But this is rather silly, you know. Neither of you are meeting each other's gaze, or mine. What is so frightening or humiliating that you cannot even look at someone?
Cyclonus: This is Decepticon business--
Scourge: Cyclonus, let her talk. *puts his hand on top of his triadmate's, still struggling to stay conscious and lucid. Cyclonus stares at him*
Auspex: *Auspex shakes her head again, adressing Cyclonus this time* This has little to do with factions or politics; this is a matter of social interaction, and a lack of good communication. *she tilts her head slightly, blinking at Cyclonus* Your emotions are puzzling. You doubt that I am trustworthy, perhaps.
Cyclonus: *Scourge is touching his hand, he's not flinching or curling up. This is...different* What Scourge does or does not do is none of your concern. You are not part of this.
Auspex: I have been attempting to help Scourge find his way out of the fear and pain that Void caused him. Unfortunately, Decepticon culture was hindering Scourge's recovery, and so I recommended that he seperate himself from it for a little while. I know you want him to heal, but you are approaching it as a Decepticon would, and a different viewpoint is needed for a spiritual wound such as this. You are what you are, as am I, and different approaches are needed for different problems. He doesn't need you any less, however much recovery he has achieved.
Cyclonus: He is a Decepticon, and he deserves to be treated as one, with dignity. There is nothing wrong with our culture. *or with me* Don't talk down to me, priestess. *Scourge is curling up again, ever so slightly, optics on the ground and wings curling around him*
Auspex: There is dignity, and then there is the false assumption that one can overcome any trial simply because one is a Decepticon. It sounds very noble, but it destroys the confidence of someone who cannot immediately overcome his fears, because of what he has suffered. I do not talk down to you, I give you another way of perceiving your triad-mate. You risk losing him to his dispair, if you continue to overlook its very existence.
Cyclonus: He is far stronger than that, he does not need your coddling. *he glares at Auspex. Scourge pulls his knees a bit closer to his chest and rests his head against the wall*
Auspex: *She looks away from Cyclonus, back to Scourge, speaking softly* He was strong... but Void wore on him. He used all of his strength to survive his torment. Void had the power of Chaos behind him; there is much harm that can be, and was, done... even to a Decepticon.
*she turns back to Cyclonus* Have you looked at him? Objectively, without bias, cultural, emotional, or otherwise? Have you asked him why he is afraid? Would he answer you honestly, without cultural bias, and show his weakness to you? Perhaps then you would both understand each other.
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus looks as if he would hit her for such insolence, if Scourge wasn't in the room to take it as an insult* We do not need to deal with this sort of garbage! *he turns to Scourge--and Scourge has abruptly passed out again*
Auspex: *Auspex frowns worriedly as Scourge inadvertently returns to recharge. Perhaps it's just as well, for the moment...* Please... *she sighs* I am not trying to antagonize you. Why are you angry with me?
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus flicks a glance at Scourge* You are not helping him. You are trying to show him that it is right to be weak, to let others take care of his problems. He does not belong here. *and when he wakes up, they're so out of here* You are undoing what he has been trying to do since Void left.
Auspex: *She is disappointed in his outlook, but still gazes at him evenly* He needs time, to allow his strength to return. When a person's strength has been utterly battered to death, where will they find more, unless they regain it? And how can they regain it so quickly, when they are so deeply frightened? I am an empath, Cyclonus. Void has done things to Scourge that no one should be forced to endure, and I can clearly sense his torment. It is a true testament to his strength that he survived to come back to you. He is not weak; he is recovering.
Cyclonus: *looks at Scourge, to make sure he is still asleep* If you let slip one word of this, I will break you in half. *curls his hand around Scourge's fingers* Scourge is not a brave mech. He never was and I doubt he ever will be. I have no idea what Void did to him, but the only way to break it is to move beyond it. What could you do for him that his own kind could not? *But Scourge touched him...*
Auspex: *She frowns at him* I am bound by my god to keep the secrets I am told, if the revelation would harm the one who has told me. There is no danger of that.
He is convinced that his kind hates him, and that you disdain him for his fear. He is plagued with nightmares, he imagines horrors in the shadows, and despairs that he is unable to muster the strength expected of a Decepticon. He seems to believe he is hopeless. I allowed him to speak to Primus: that restored some of that hope.
I... don't know how he would react, if I told you the worst of what Void did to him, but if it will better illustrate the depth of his suffering to you, I will..
Cyclonus: You give him false hope, then. He will not suceed except with his own wings and on his own feet. *absently strokes Scourge's hand with his thumb* He has been through hard times and he was not a strong mech to begin with. Galvatron himself said all Sweeps were cowards and he meant it, even in jest. *his expression hardens* I am not a weakling. Tell me.
Auspex: I don't withold that information for your sake, but his. I am not certain that the thought of you knowing will not strengthen his despair. But... *she considers a moment, then seems to come to a decision* He has been tortured, repeatedly dismembered -- Void could feel the pain of his victims in the parts of their bodies he took during torture, and he had a collection of Scourge's -- drained of energy through severed fuel-lines, psychologically abused -- told he was nothing, that his people were nothing, that you and your people hated him, and found it to be true when he sought you out -- beaten down by his captors for escaping, for wanting his life with his people back, forced to watch one of his Sweeps be tortured to death, starved, and, above all, spiritually abused. Rodimus Void tampered with his spark, sexually abused him... Void bonded Scourge's spark to his own!
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus manages to keep his face blank through most of this, but one might be able to hear the sound of metal being crushed beneath his hand as he grips the edge of the berth. But he snarls loudly at the last one. Torture is one thing, but that goes beyond madness. He gives himself a few moments to stop himself from screaming* Monster. *glares at her, attempting to keep his voice under control* And how did you force him to tell you this?
Auspex: *Auspex senses his rising anger (and notes the fingerprints forming in the metal), and fully understands it. She nods to herself slightly, but meets his gaze calmly* I did not force him. I told him I would listen without making judgement, and that he needed to tell someone what he had been through. He was afraid to tell you, and afraid that you would find out, that you would hate him for it. But I thought you had a right to know...
Cyclonus: *nods slightly, forcing his face to become emotionless again* The other Decepticons would not understand, no. They are still suspicious of him, they would be more so if they knew what lay in his spark. *remembers watching the security camera footage, seeing what they called him--Void's pet, whore, broken and damaged--and the way Scourge began to shake when their faces touched*
Auspex: There was so much that brought him pain, enough that even everyday occurances remind him of his ordeal; and I can sense his fear... he has been scarred, part of his spark has been stolen from him, and he needs time to regain the strength that was taken from him. He is very fortunate to have you, and that you seem to understand him. If he regains his confidence, his people will hopefully learn to trust him again...
Cyclonus: It makes a few things clearer. If what you're saying is true, that is. *will have to speak to Scourge later about this* The others are so used to hating unconditionally that it is hard for them to accept him back. Unless he does something great, it will take far too long for them to totally accept him.
Auspex: *she nods* I speak the truth, if he does; and his emotions match his stories, indicating the truth behind them. Please... if you talk with him about these things, show him that you do not hate him for them; he did not want you to know the source of his weakness, and I have told you despite his wishes. I am afraid this may only hurt him more, and cause him to distrust me, or possibly even you. This is why he needed time; his people's scorn of him only fuels his sense of inadequacy, as does the knowledge that those he is close to may turn away from him for it.
Cyclonus: *Over-energization means that the CPU becomes clouded or completely shuts down, but the main bodily functions may continue. Scourge moves in his sleep, tugging Cyclonus's hand a bit closer* I can't expect you to understand the way a triad works, priestess. We are already broken away from Galvatron and my bond with Scourge is very weak. But if his spark has been corrupted, renewing the bond will be impossible.
Auspex: *She considers that for a moment, tapping the wall thoughtfully* I don't believe it is permanent -- a spark will heal over time, if one is willing to wait for it to do so. Even corruption can be cleared away, but I don't think he is so much damaged by Chaos, as he is in pain, from a bond with someone so Chaotic. Most of his problem is in the connection between mind and spark, not so much the spark itself. Keeping his distance from Void should allow the pain to ease.
Cyclonus: But you, a priestess, have no way of making the pain stop? A bond is not easily broken, the both of us should know... *he pauses for a moment and touches Scourge's chest* If his spark was violated, I should have felt it as well. We are connected. *or they're supposed to be connected* Can one of us be corrupted and the other be clean?
Auspex: I can soothe the spark-pain with Primus's power; but when I offered, he was as yet too afraid to allow Primus's power to touch him. He will perhaps allow it now; but a long-term solution requires time.
He is not corrupted, in the sense that Chaos dwells in his spark. But an unwanted bond will cause an ache, a caged feeling, a longing to be free of it, and the fact that it is a modified one-way bond cannot be much of a comfort; Primus did not intend bonds to work that way.
Cyclonus: He will have to allow it, if that is the only way. *even if he has to hold his hand and force him through it, for his own good* There's no way to break it completely?
Auspex: *she sighs* A bond can usually only be severed by the death of the one the spark is bonded to. But... *she frowns, considering* given the unusual nature of this one-way bond, it can perhaps be cut. It would leave a hole in his spark, which will, for at least several months, be more painful than the unwanted bond is now. *she winces* It would also be painful for me, to do such a thing to him. I... would let him decide, first.
Cyclonus: It's better that he suffer a little pain now than for the rest of his life. Galvatron will not let us kill Void, if he can be killed at all. *listens to Scourge mumbling in his sleep* You would do this for him?
Auspex: *She winces again, with a small sigh of uncertainty* I would; it may allow him to more easily put Void's actions behind him, once the pain of a torn spark subsides... and that will be a long time. But I am not sure he is yet strong enough, to subject him, again, to the sort of pain he's already suffered.
Cyclonus: He will be. *his hand curls around Scourge's* He has to be.
Auspex: *She hesitates again* There is nothing I can do if he does not allow it. It is a dangerous undertaking.
Cyclonus: He is strong enough. He needs this.
Auspex: *she nods reluctantly* I hate to ask him when he is in this state.. but awaken him, if you must. *She dims her optics briefly, seeking Primus's counsel*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus shakes Scourge gently and the tracker's optics flicker onwards. While Auspex communes with Primus, Cyclonus explains what they're going to be doing. It's not a question.*
Auspex: *still holding to Primus's presence, she looks at the two triad-mates somewhat uneasily* Scourge? Is this acceptable? If you would rather not face this yet, it can wait. *Despite what Cyclonus may say..*
Scourge: *Cyclonus touches his shoulder and Scourge shivers* I can--I'll do it. *isn't about to disappoint Cyclonus again*
Auspex: *her optics flicker. She is still uneasy* This will be painful. *she looks between the two again* Be honest with me. If you are only allowing this to please Cyclonus, it is not a wise thing to do. *she glances back at the latter* If he cannot endure this, it may damage his mind.
Cyclonus: *Scourge sits up a bit more and Cyclonus holds his hand tighter* Better than then live with chaos in his spark. *Scourge nods slowly, feeling entirely unready for this. But he refuses to be more of a coward than he already is* It's worth the risk.
Auspex: *she still senses that hesitation* Not if time will allow you to be more prepared, it isn't. Matters of the spark should not be rushed.
Cyclonus: What exactly could he do to prepare for it? He's either strong enough or he isn't. And he is strong enough. *Scourge stops shaking, gritting his jaw. He's terrified, but he doesn't have a choice in it. Saying no is as good as claiming he wants the bond, to Cyclonus*
Auspex: *Auspex sighs, developing a definite annoyance at Cyclonus's behavior* Do not make up his mind for him. The bond is only secondary to his true problem; it is not vital that it be broken now. I know the idea of it is horrifying, but it can be dealt with in its time. It is uncomfortable for him, but not life-threatening. I will not needlessly risk his sanity before he is ready.
*She turns back to Scourge* You may need time to learn to seek Primus's strength for yourself. If you don't, this will not work. Are you certain?
Scourge: *purses his lips* Exactly what's going to happen to me if this doesn't work? *seems almost to be clinging to Cyclonus*
Auspex: *Auspex pauses a moment to confer with Primus. Her optics flicker uneasily* I risk undoing all the progress you've made since you were rescued from Void, and adding to that remembered pain. I'm not sure you could take much more of that sort of treatment.
Scourge: Can't see how it could get worse. *the fear in his optics is obvious*
Auspex: *Auspex sighs, looking rather uneasy, herself* Well... *she pauses as she queries Primus* Void's spark has a hold on yours, and... to put it visually, the moorings must be cut. The simplest way to do so is from inside those moorings... meaning you will need to cut them yourself. Primus will speak to you, and direct you in what you must do. Cyclonus's bond with you, and your connection with Primus, should be enough for you to find strength in, if you draw on them for that strength, and don't try to do this by yourself. *She pauses a moment, pondering*
Scourge: *Scourge nods, starting to shudder again. He feels sick* I...I can--scuse me. *he pushes away from Cyclonus and leans over the far side of the berth, choking up the remnants of unprocessed energon from the night before onto the floor* *well, at least he's not overenergized anymore*
Auspex: *Auspex gasps, looking rather stricken* Scourge! You don't seem ready for this. Here... *she reaches to touch his shoulder, pausing a moment to let Primus communicate with him through her. Peace, Scourge, strength... I will help Scourge. He is with friends, he will have help.*
Scourge: *Scourge spits and wipes the back of his mouth with his hand* I'm fine. Really. *he tries to repeat the mental mantra he's been reciting over the past few weeks* I'm safe, I'm safe, no one can hurt me, I'm good, I'm clean, I'm safe, I'm cared for, I'm safe.* I can do this.
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus attempts not to comment. He's not sure if Scourge is quite ready for this either, but he doesn't want to tell him not to try*
Auspex: *She gazes at him doubtfully for a few moments. She prays fervently that Primus will help him through this, and not let him be harmed. Primus does not give her a definite answer; it depends on Scourge's actions. She nods slowly* Very well, then. First, seek whatever solace may help you through this. *This recommendation is probably self-evident*
Scourge: Right. Right. *he takes Cyclonus's hand again and shuts off his optics, still visibly shaking* I can do this, I can do this, I'm strong and I'm safe and I can do this please dear Primus don't let this hurt. *Cyclonus holds his hand tightly, silently giving his support*
Auspex: *Auspex touches Scourge's shoulder again, darkening her optics to better focus on Primus. She spends a bit of time giving her own anxiety to Primus... this is something she's never had to do, and she doesn't think Scourge is in the best of shape to be attempting this. When she feels confident enough, when Primus has reassured her and filled her mind with his presence, she sends that presence on to Scourge.*
*Calm, courage, strength..*
Scourge: Strength, strength, yes. *Scourge takes Cyclonus's hand again, trying to push back his fear and the memories of the pain of bonding* I can do this.
Auspex: *There is a sense of soft nudging, a noting of those memories of pain... Scourge must in fact seek out that pain, find the source, the time of that pain, and banish it, undo it...*
Scourge: No, no I can't go back there again...but Cyclonus...I can't do this. *he has his optics shut off now, and is clinging to Cyclonus's arm*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus puts his arm around Scourge's waist, silently supporting him* You can do this.
Auspex: *Auspex pats his shoulder as she sends Primus's presence along to him. Scourge is not alone, I am here, Scourge's triad-mate, my servant, as well... strength, encouragement, but Scourge must trace the pain to its source. I will be with him, traveling the same paths, living the same pain... but the origins of the bond must be found, must be severed...*
Scourge: I'm scared. Help me do this. Protect me. *leans into Cyclonus, his wings trembling, his other hand fumbling for Auspex's*
Auspex: *At Primus's nudging, Auspex's optics spark online briefly to catch Scourge's hand, holding tightly, communicating her concern, and her understanding of his fear. I am with Scourge, they are with Scourge, he will not be lost to this, he is anchored with me, with those who care.. Void can do no more to Scourge, this is only remembered pain.. find it, break away from it, you are not alone..*
Scourge: *Scourge's grip tightens on the both of them* He can't hurt me, he's gone, I'm safe here. *Cyclonus is holding him, Auspex is touching him, Void's arms are not around him* Help me through.
Auspex: *Scourge is safe... I will keep him.. Scourge must find where he feels most stifled by Void's presence, and cut away, I will rend it.. there will be pain, but I am with Scourge, they will be here, there is solace through pain, and strength to endure..*
Scourge: *clutches to his supports, bracing himself* Show me how.
Auspex: *Seek me, I am in the spark, in Scourge's spark, he must first focus his mind on where his spark is, the material of it is within, where I am..*
Scourge: *Scourge focuses his attention inward, feeling the pulse of his spark, the darkened light within him* Can't touch it, don't want to touch it, it's so disgusting. *he sees it not as a bright ball of pure light, but a orb with dark purple threads of chaos around it, invading it, tying it up*
Auspex: *Soothing.. cool touch of calm, a feeling of support.. we must unravel the threads of Void's essence, find a point to cut away, and banish them... you are the spark, you are inside the web... it is not as bad as it seems, it can be dissolved away.. find the origin point of the threads of foreign spark, I am here, I am with you, my servant and your triad-mate..*
Scourge: *Scourge tenatively approaches his spark, hesitates, touches the first smallest strand of Chaos* No, no not again! *dark hands holding him down, pinning him to the wall, denting his metal with the barest of efforts*
Auspex: *Primus's presence weaves around Scourge's mind, steadying, steadfast. He speaks to Scourge even as he touches the memory, reassuring, guiding. Stay with me... Scourge must find the beginning, where Void anchored his Chaos-spark to Scourge's... I am here, these are but ghosts, shadows that linger..*
Scourge: *Scourge gingerly takes the first strand and pulls, fighting back his fear Outwardly, he whimpers and clings tighter to Cyclonus* One piece...one tiny piece, it hurts so much...
Auspex: *Auspex brings her other hand to join the first, clasping Scourge's hand, wincing as she catches the feedback of pain, and the echoes of Void's essence*
*more weaving with Scourge's consciousness, a lifeline around him, I know, I am here, I enfuse Scourge with my strength. Use my power, my energy, I will strengthen Scourge's hold on the foreign threads, do not fear them. They must be taken away, I will soothe you..*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus doesn't completely understand what's going on, but he holds Scourge gently and tries to stop his shaking*
Scourge: *Scourge grabs and clings to the supports* Just give me a moment... *he gathers his strength again and reaches for the next strand, whimpering audibly*
Auspex: *Be steady, Scourge has my strength at hand.. The thread of Void-spark loosens somewhat, to punctuate his point. I am working with Scourge, this can be done...*
Scourge: Stay, stay with me, don't leave me. *It's worse this time, far more vivid. Void is kissing him, biting him, pinning his hands over his head and clawing at his chest*
Auspex: *I am here, child, I remain, these are times past, the strands will be gone, the pain will be clean, the pain of healing replacing the pain of despair, and I am with Scourge... his bond with Cyclonus is here with him also, does he see it? Scourge can be strong, he has this, he has me..*
Scourge: Cyclonus...yes, he is there. *And there is a part of his spark that is not his, that is bound to the mech beside him, and another part that is ragged and beginning to heal that was once Galvatron. Cyclonus feels a sort of tug at his spark and he tugs back, pulling Scourge back from the darkness* Stay with me, Cyclonus.
Auspex: *Auspex rubs Scourge's hand soothingly as she continues to project. Scourge is safe, this will pass... he must seek further, hunt the threads of Chaos and we will banish them.. he is not alone..*
Scourge: Safe...safe. Yes. Safe. *the next thread tears away and dissolves as Scourge whimpers again. His wings seem about to shake off his body* Stop, stop, I can't do this anymore.
Auspex: *Spark-wash of comfort, stillness... rest.. rest, on me, on Scourge's bond with his triad-mate, and my servant is with Scourge... once started, this must be finished, but there is time to rest..*
Scourge: Shouldn't have started, can't do this... *Cyclonus holds him closer, looking over at Auspex, help him*
Auspex: *Auspex trembles for a moment, herself, and takes a moment to plead to Primus. Lord Primus, I feared this, he is not certain of your strength, he is wavering. He cannot do this by himself, and he is trying to. She is met with calm, an assurance that this will not end badly. She hesitates, before metaphorically bowing to his wisdom. She has faith that Primus can bring Scourge through this. Be with him..*
*Scourge... listen to me.. my power is greater than Void's.. I am within Scourge, within all of my children, and the core of Scourge's spark is of my own energy.. there is strength there, within, where I am.. Find this strength, Scourge can do this, if he relies not on his own failing resolve, the fast-fleeing strength, but draws on who and what I am..*
Scourge: I rely on you, I rely on Auspex, I rely on Cyclonus. Don't leave me alone in the dark, don't let me fall again. Help me take Void out of me. *and he braces himself and pushes in once more, removing strands even as they burn him* *and it's happening again, Void is opening his chest, laughing at his terror, ignoring his pleas for mercy. Scourge belongs to him and will always belong to him, there will be no escape*
Auspex: *Auspex's grip tightens very slightly as she catches fragments of remembered emotion from him. She's not having a wonderful time of this, either, though she remains thoroughly wrapped in Primus's presence*
*Lies of Chaos, they are untrue.. only my presence within Scourge is unbreakable, no one can destroy that, mask it as they will, change the surroundings as they may... I am with Scourge, I am greater than Void, my power can banish his hold on Scourge's spark... come, much progress has been made, continue.. finish this, I am here...*
Scourge: Make him stop, don't let him do this to me. *he's sobbing now, reliving it as if for the first time, as if it hasn't truly happened yet* *black fingers touching his inner circuitry, touching his spark, and he screams against Cyclonus's chest*
Auspex: *Auspex bows her head as she holds fast to Scourge's hand, drawing it slightly closer to herself as she senses the terror and despair of the memory. Primus... your strength, be with him. Void is a true reflection of the Chaos Bringer... this must be undone. Hold him together, my lord..*
*The power of Primus radiates strongly around Scourge's spark.. Scouge nears the source, it will be over shortly, hold on to me, to Scourge's triad-bond and my servant, it will be finished...*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus begins to doubt whether it was right to drive him to this, but there's no turning back now. He flinches as Scourge's claws leave deep furrows in his arm. I'm here, I'm here.*
Scourge: *Scourge can just barely feel the warmth around his spark, is just barely attached to what is real as Void forces a partial bond into him, pouring pure chaos energy into his spark like toxic sludge. Scourge can never go back, Scourge is not one of them, Scourge belongs to Void body and mind and spark and he has given them up willingly, out of fear*
No. I don't belong to you.
Auspex: *Auspex shudders at the strength of this sickening horror from her charge, and makes a small sound of mourning as she holds to his hand, paying no mind to clawed fingers as she concentrates on Primus's presence around her. Lord Primus, never have I been gladder to be a child of yours, that you can overcome such evil...
*Encouraging, a rush of strength and determination, steadfast... Scourge is not Void's, not with the last severing of this thread.. Scourge is mine, he is Cyclonus's, and will be watched over with love and patience, not cruelty as this... it is nearly finished..*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus can feel it, a rush of energy surging into him, the feeling of a bond cleaned and renewed* *Scourge is sinking to the floor, used and drained and polluted, and at the same time he is cutting free the last of his bonds, burning away the darkness inside him. His shuddering begins to cease*
Auspex: *The glow of power begins to fade, slowly, slowly, supporting Scourge as he separates his enslavement of the past from the freedom of the present... My child, it is finished, Scourge is free of his bond, I am here, Cyclonus is here, Auspex is near, Scourge has broken the bond. Rest, rest now, be safe in my light, in your bond with Cyclonus, my servant will watch over you.. there will be pain, it will linger long, but it will heal.. I am with you and you are free...*
Scourge: I'm whole. I'm safe. Cyclonus and Auspex are here. I'm...oh. *and, safe and whole, Scourge passes out*
Auspex: *Primus's presence whispers away slowly... rest, he tells Scourge's unconscious mind, and hope...*
*Auspex stays in Primus's presence for several moments after. Every time she has a glimpse of Chaos, the decay and death, she is reminded of what she has, as a servant of Primus, a child of Primus, and she desires to run to him like a child who's been away from her father much too long. You are light, you are Order, you drive away darkness and banish Chaos. You have restored the true bonds and banished the false...*
*Finally, her optics flicker back online, if somewhat dimly. The intensity of Scourge's emotions, and the power she'd lost in projecting, leave her feeling weak, drained. She gingerly brings Scourge's hand over, and offers it to Cyclonus.* It is done. The bond is gone. *She smiles weakly, but joyfully*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus slumps slightly and manuevers Scourge so he is lying back on the bed. He thoughtlessly brushes away the energon bleeding from his chest* I can feel it. We are closer.
Auspex: *Auspex nods slowly, her smile lingering faintly. She is tired, and it takes her a moment to realize Cyclonus is bleeding.* Oh... there are simple medical supplies and cleansing materials here, if you need them.. *she indicates a few shelves on the other side of the room*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus gets up and staggers backwards, finding he's weaker than he thought* Thank you. *he stembles over to the shelves and pulls down a medkit* What...exactly happened?
Auspex: *She sighs a little, carefully seating herself on the floor, wincing a bit at the stiffness of standing in one spot for so long* He drew on Primus's strength to cut the strands of power that Void's spark had imposed on his own.
Cyclonus: So they really were bonded. *and he can't disguise the way his wings shudder at the thought. Cyclonus had touched him, and not known it* Is this something you normally do?
Auspex: He did not share a bond with Void. Void imposed a modified bond on him, so that Void would be free, while Scourge was bound to him. Bonds are not supposed to work that way. *She glances up sharply at what she senses; she's not sure of the exact nature of the disgust, but infers* It was not a willing bond. He was reliving the forced bonding, just now... he was terrified, and in pain, and had lost all hope.
*she sighs again, idly gazing at a few tiny scratches in her fingers, mildly surprised they haven't been cut, considering the rather clawed state Cyclonus is in* I've never had to aid in severing a bond before. Unwanted bonds are very rare.
Cyclonus: I would hope not. The entire concept's rather disgusting. *he sits back on the edge of Scourge's berth and begins cleaning himself up* Why didn't he say anything? If he hadn't spoken to you, he might have lived out his life like this. *and why didn't he say anything to me, I'm his damn triadmate*
Auspex: *She nods, replying shortly, subdued* It is...
He did not tell you, because such is the nature of the shame and fear he felt. Much of it was Void's doing. From what I've gathered of Void, from several different sources, he is a master at preying on and building up others' fears, and psychologically setting them up to remain fearful. With someone as fearful as Scourge seems to be, it was probably almost too easy to make him believe that he was hated by everyone... and Void manipulated circumstances to ensure that it was true. I understand many of your people believed he'd defected. *And you as well goes unsaid.*
Cyclonus: That was how it appeared. Void sent him to fight against us. *he begins sealing the cuts on his chest* Scourge contacted me once, in the middle of a battle. He begged me to rescue him. The other Decepticons refused to risk themselves for him, so I went alone to Void's ship. *he dabs up a few drops of spilt mech fluid* It was a trap. I thought, at the time, that Scourge had conspired with Void to lure me to his ship and capture me. Later I found out that Void had been tapping Scourge's commlink. If he couldn't capture me, he would at least cement Scourge's status as traitor.
Auspex: *She nods slowly, sadly* That was when he forced Scourge to shoot you...? *she winces*
Cyclonus: *shakes his head* You make it sound as if he had no choice.
Auspex: *Auspex sighs softly* He did... but Void's psychological manipulations had taken root by that point; and he had learned to think there was no other way. Void twisted his thinking with lies, threats of pain... he is still fighting to break through those barriers. There is also evidence that he was trying to drive you away from someone he'd learned to believe, with no uncertainty, could kill you far too easily. Better to be wounded by Scourge than killed by Void, in his thinking.
Cyclonus: *seals up another cut* I am not blaming him, priestess, but I still say that he had a choice. Better to die a Decepticon than obey Void, and he was not strong enough to be a Decepticon. *his hand slips and he welds over himself* Scourge did not shoot to wound. He meant to kill me and save himself. I am not condemning him, but I am not making up falsehoods to make him feel better either.
Auspex: *Auspex notes the slip, and the accompanying brief waver of emotion, with a rueful wince* That is exactly what he told me. The timbre of his deepest thoughts, however, were telling; there were some very elaborate lies he'd constructed for himself, to avoid having his pain exploited by the one he feared. The mind is very strange; the most convincing deception is to deceive yourself. There are many layers of truths and deceptions in Scourge's mind, many of them self-made, as a survival technique.
Cyclonus: And your point is? *in another place, another dimension, he'd be reminded of Torkulon*
Auspex: My point is, he believed he was shooting to kill, as did you, as did Void. But his underlying emotion says the complete opposite: that he'd intended to only wound you, and so that is what happened. It's very strange; rarely have I come across something so... contrary.
Cyclonus: So he says. So he wants to believe. It proves nothing.
Auspex: What someone says, even what someone believes, and what someone feels is often quite different. I defend him, because it is vitally important to make that distinction, and to illustrate to you how much his mind has been wounded by what he suffered. However, I will concede, that he was directed more by his fear than his loyalty to your people's cause. But the underlying motive was well-intentioned, if that is of any solace.
Cyclonus: *finishes the last cut* Priestess. *looks up at her* You care about Scourge?
Auspex: *she nods* I made a promise to Primus that I would see to his spiritual wholeness. Much can be done to heal a person, simply by caring for them.
Cyclonus: Then if you do care about him, you'll stop this. *puts the repair tools down* Do you think any of this conjecture will help him stand up for himself around Decepticons? He can't stay here forever. *even if I have to drag him out by force*
Auspex: *She looks at him solemnly, for a long moment.* No, he cannot, and it would not be healthy if he did. He could not return to his own people if he became too complacent. But before he can be a Decepticon again, he must be a stable person, and he needs a solid emotional ground to stand on. Believing he tried to kill his own triad-mate when he did not, is hardly stable. Even if the lie would make him seem to be a more effective Decepticon, it destablizes his belief in himself, and that will affect his effectiveness to your people.
Cyclonus: He did try to kill me. He failed and I've forgiven him. It's over. Leaving him to dwell on it will only worsen things. *he knows this, he's made sure to keep Scourge busy and not alone as much as he can to keep him from thinking too hard*
Auspex: *she sighs* I do not agree about his motive, but it is true that he need not think on the incident again. It is told, it is past, and has no bearing on the present... as long as he keeps it in the past. But past events still haunt him at times, and, if he finds his mind wandering back, it is better that he understands his true motives of the time, than agonize over imagined ones. The best solution is to keep him from thinking on it at all, but that is not an easy undertaking.
Cyclonus: I keep him busy and I keep an optic on him. You've done your job. Let him come home. *the back of his hand grazes Scourge's wing. Scourge looks peaceful for once, he's not cringing or whimpering or trying to stay out of sight*
Auspex: *she nods* I do not keep him here. He has had time to rest, has spoken to Primus, has severed his bond with Void: there are yet things he can learn about keeping his past in the past where it belongs, and he is still not as confident as he should be... but those lessons are not necessarily mine to teach. I only hope that your people's coldness toward him does not drive him back to despair. I think... he is past that, to a certain extent, but he will still have moments of strong self-doubt.
Cyclonus: *keeps his opinions on Primus to himself* Whatever happens, healing or not, it will happen with us. He will endure.
Auspex: *She senses the timbre of them, anyway, and answers them with a small sigh, but she nods at his words* I believe he will, and that is my wish for him. He is easily one of the most... haunted individuals I've worked with in my life. It will be a great joy for me if he regains his self-confidence among his people, but I am content that he has progressed as much as he has.
Cyclonus: *runs one finger along the edge of his wing* If the bond is broken, he find things a bit easier, I admit. *moves his hand away* But he should have told me before you.
Auspex: *She sighs again, letting her optics trail around the room for a moment -- catching sight of the small pool of regurgitated energon Scourge unfortunately lost... she makes note to clean that up -- but there are more important things at the moment than slight messes. She must see to Cyclonus's concern.* I could hardly agree more; I told him as much. But... from what I sensed, he had rathered you wonder what happened to him, and still support him despite your disappointment in him; still have you, even though at more of a distance than before... than to tell you of the forced bond, and the things that, in his estimation, made him too broken and sullied to be worthy of your attention. *she sighs softly*
Cyclonus: And that's the sort of thought--*tilts his head to one side for a moment, listening to a message on his commlink* Can't leave them alone two astroseconds... *he glances at Scourge* I'll be back for him. Let him rest. *he darts out the door*
Auspex: *smiles in gentle humor at his comment. It sounds as though he is a good leader. She nods to him shortly, as he makes his request and hurries away*
Auspex has returned to her seat in the main sanctuary, reviewing her most recent notes, and replenishing lost energy via the consumption of an energon cube. Scourge has been unconscious for a good while, but she's let him rest; after the pain of cutting a bond and the resulting spark-tear, he needs it. She could use some rest, herself, but Primus has told her to remain alert, and so she is, more or less.
Cyclonus: *It's been a while since Scourge disappeared and Cyclonus has started to get worried. He heads to the coordinates Scourge gave him, not quite sure what he's going to find. There seems to be nothing around here but junk and a strange building in the middle of nowhere*
Auspex: *Auspex has settled on one of the seats in the main hall of the sanctuary, reviewing a datapad of notes she's taken while researching a vision of the past that Primus had recently given her. A small nudge in the back of her mind indicates that someone is close by the temple, but she leaves them be for the moment; if Primus wants them to come here, they will.*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus keeps his gun close and approaches the temple. If Scourge isn't there, they might know where he is. And if they've done anything to him...well, it's a small building.*
Auspex: *she senses wariness, suspicion... she lays aside her datapad and wanders toward the main entrance, but doesn't yet venture outside. She is wary, herself*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus stays near the door, making sure he has a quick way out* Scourge?
Auspex: *Auspex blinks once, before cautiously approaching whomever it is that is hovering in the doorway. He looks second-handedly familiar; one of the high-ranking Decepticons, perhaps, though she's not completely sure who he is* Welcome to this sanctuary of Primus, friend. Who is it you seek..? *she heard very well what he said, she simply wants to be sure he doesn't mean Scourge any harm*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus's gun isn't point directly at her, not yet, but he's keeping it close.* I'm looking for a mech named Scourge. *she's not got a sigil, but she doesn't seem hostile either*
Auspex: *she watches him carefully. It is traditional to not enter a sanctuary so obviously armed, but she gathers he's one of many that haven't had much of an interest in visiting such a place. She debates what she senses; there is no sense of ill-will toward herself, only wariness, and no hostility toward Scourge either. She remains careful, though* May... I ask who you are?
Cyclonus: You first. *eyes her warily as he takes another step in*
Auspex: *She lets him come further into the hall, still watching, and sensing, attempting to anticipate any hostility. she answers simply* I am Auspex. I serve Primus.
Cyclonus: *derisive snort* I suppose it's better than the alternative. I am Cyclonus.
Auspex: *Auspex allows her wariness to fade slightly* Ah. *she senses no deceit, anything that would tell her he is not who he says he is* Of Void's universe, I take it?
Cyclonus: *His gaze hardens* And how would you know that?
Auspex: *Contrary to his rising suspicion, she is more relieved now* It was an informed assumption. Scourge spoke of you. I gather that you mean him no harm? *Might as well be sure this is safe...*
Cyclonus: I'd like to see him first. *so he is here, or has been here. But his status is in question*
Auspex: *she frowns in concern* You must see him before you decide that you mean him no harm? He is safe; I would prefer if he remain so. *She does begin walking slowly in the direction of the farther rooms, at least to show Cyclonus that she's not refusing him entry*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus follows her, keeping his gun close* He has not been responding to my comm signals for almost a month. Exactly how safe as he been? *if she's so much as yelled at Scourge, he'll tear her and this whole temple apart*
Auspex: *She turns to glance back at him, slightly surprised* I... this is a different universe than your own; Scourge came here by way of... some universe/dimensional shift, I think. Perhaps it affected communications... *she considers this with a troubled frown; she hopes that's the cause. But she relaxes considerably as she senses his protectiveness toward Scourge. This is the right Cyclonus, and the right sentiment* I am charged, by Primus, to care for his children, should they have ailments of the spark and the emotions. Needless to say, Scourge was in need of help. He has been staying here in this sanctuary.
Cyclonus: *doesn't lower his gun arm* I won't deny that Scourge is in need of...something. *it's rather hard to admit his triadmate's weakness to a complete stranger* But that also makes it easy for someone to take advantage of him. Let me see him.
Auspex: *She studies him for another moment, before nodding in compliance* This way, then. *she leads him to one of the open entrances behind the main mosaic, then starts down the inner corridor to the extra rooms for refugees. She sends a short comm to Scourge*
//Scourge, I believe you have a visitor.//
Scourge: //Mmph?// Scourge groggily lifts his head and onlines his optics. //Who?//
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus follows her, still making sure he can get back easily*
Auspex: *Auspex winces at Scourge's disoriented tone* //I'm sorry if I've interrupted your rest... but Cyclonus is here.// She passes the door to Scourge's room, then turns slightly and indicates it to Cyclonus, keeping in mind his probable cultural aversion to turning one's back on a potential hostile party, silly as she finds it to be*
Scourge: *Scourge backs up against the wall as Cyclonus enters* Cyclonus. *isn't sure what to do here*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus moves sideways, keeping Auspex where he can see her* Are you all right, Scourge?
Scourge: Yeah. Fine. Sorry about the comm-link, I couldn't get through. *he gestures at Auspex, still not quite awake. He took perhaps a bit too much energon last night--sorry, Auspex* We've been talking.
Cyclonus: *switches to commlink to speak with him and sits down on the berth*
Auspex: *Auspex stays in the doorway, but watches carefully. She needs to see how they interact together, even if she can't hear them.*
Scourge: *They speak for a while, heads close together. Scourge is still looking away, and Cyclonus moves his hand so their fingertips are barely touching. They both seem to be ashamed, somehow*
Auspex: *she watches, somewhat protectively, but as unobtrusively as she can. The shame, while potentially troubling, may be a good thing in this case*
Scourge: *They're obviously talking, but they barely seem to look at each other let alone touch. Scourge's optics flicker blearily; he's not completely slept off his hangover*
Auspex: *Auspex's optics flicker as she begins to note that Scourge's groginess isn't to be blamed solely on an interuppted recharge. She sighs softly as she watches over both of them... the lack of eye contact makes her uneasy; perhaps they're not communicating as well as she thought, especially taking Scourge's disorientation into account*
Cyclonus: *Scourge leans back against the wall, shaking his head. Cyclonus frowns and pulls away from him.* He's tired.
Auspex: *She frowns, blinking at Scourge unhappily. Her voice is softly reproachful* Scourge... what did you do?
Scourge: *Scourge groans and rubs his head, looking at the floor* Drank too much, maybe. Sorry. *there seems to be a distinct lack of people meeting each others' eyes today*
Auspex: *She sighs softly* 'Maybe'? *she frowns as his gaze hits the floor, glancing briefly at Cyclonus before gently adressing Scourge again* Why are you so studiously avoiding optic contact?
Scourge: *still looking at the floor* I took too much of your energon. I'm sorry. *Cyclonus seems almost resentful of the respect he's showing her*
Auspex: *she shakes her head slightly at Scourge, noting Cyclonus's reaction, but leaving it alone for the moment* It's all right; I am only concerned that you may make yourself ill. *She pauses, silently observing both Decepticons, before resuming in the same gentle tone* But this is rather silly, you know. Neither of you are meeting each other's gaze, or mine. What is so frightening or humiliating that you cannot even look at someone?
Cyclonus: This is Decepticon business--
Scourge: Cyclonus, let her talk. *puts his hand on top of his triadmate's, still struggling to stay conscious and lucid. Cyclonus stares at him*
Auspex: *Auspex shakes her head again, adressing Cyclonus this time* This has little to do with factions or politics; this is a matter of social interaction, and a lack of good communication. *she tilts her head slightly, blinking at Cyclonus* Your emotions are puzzling. You doubt that I am trustworthy, perhaps.
Cyclonus: *Scourge is touching his hand, he's not flinching or curling up. This is...different* What Scourge does or does not do is none of your concern. You are not part of this.
Auspex: I have been attempting to help Scourge find his way out of the fear and pain that Void caused him. Unfortunately, Decepticon culture was hindering Scourge's recovery, and so I recommended that he seperate himself from it for a little while. I know you want him to heal, but you are approaching it as a Decepticon would, and a different viewpoint is needed for a spiritual wound such as this. You are what you are, as am I, and different approaches are needed for different problems. He doesn't need you any less, however much recovery he has achieved.
Cyclonus: He is a Decepticon, and he deserves to be treated as one, with dignity. There is nothing wrong with our culture. *or with me* Don't talk down to me, priestess. *Scourge is curling up again, ever so slightly, optics on the ground and wings curling around him*
Auspex: There is dignity, and then there is the false assumption that one can overcome any trial simply because one is a Decepticon. It sounds very noble, but it destroys the confidence of someone who cannot immediately overcome his fears, because of what he has suffered. I do not talk down to you, I give you another way of perceiving your triad-mate. You risk losing him to his dispair, if you continue to overlook its very existence.
Cyclonus: He is far stronger than that, he does not need your coddling. *he glares at Auspex. Scourge pulls his knees a bit closer to his chest and rests his head against the wall*
Auspex: *She looks away from Cyclonus, back to Scourge, speaking softly* He was strong... but Void wore on him. He used all of his strength to survive his torment. Void had the power of Chaos behind him; there is much harm that can be, and was, done... even to a Decepticon.
*she turns back to Cyclonus* Have you looked at him? Objectively, without bias, cultural, emotional, or otherwise? Have you asked him why he is afraid? Would he answer you honestly, without cultural bias, and show his weakness to you? Perhaps then you would both understand each other.
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus looks as if he would hit her for such insolence, if Scourge wasn't in the room to take it as an insult* We do not need to deal with this sort of garbage! *he turns to Scourge--and Scourge has abruptly passed out again*
Auspex: *Auspex frowns worriedly as Scourge inadvertently returns to recharge. Perhaps it's just as well, for the moment...* Please... *she sighs* I am not trying to antagonize you. Why are you angry with me?
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus flicks a glance at Scourge* You are not helping him. You are trying to show him that it is right to be weak, to let others take care of his problems. He does not belong here. *and when he wakes up, they're so out of here* You are undoing what he has been trying to do since Void left.
Auspex: *She is disappointed in his outlook, but still gazes at him evenly* He needs time, to allow his strength to return. When a person's strength has been utterly battered to death, where will they find more, unless they regain it? And how can they regain it so quickly, when they are so deeply frightened? I am an empath, Cyclonus. Void has done things to Scourge that no one should be forced to endure, and I can clearly sense his torment. It is a true testament to his strength that he survived to come back to you. He is not weak; he is recovering.
Cyclonus: *looks at Scourge, to make sure he is still asleep* If you let slip one word of this, I will break you in half. *curls his hand around Scourge's fingers* Scourge is not a brave mech. He never was and I doubt he ever will be. I have no idea what Void did to him, but the only way to break it is to move beyond it. What could you do for him that his own kind could not? *But Scourge touched him...*
Auspex: *She frowns at him* I am bound by my god to keep the secrets I am told, if the revelation would harm the one who has told me. There is no danger of that.
He is convinced that his kind hates him, and that you disdain him for his fear. He is plagued with nightmares, he imagines horrors in the shadows, and despairs that he is unable to muster the strength expected of a Decepticon. He seems to believe he is hopeless. I allowed him to speak to Primus: that restored some of that hope.
I... don't know how he would react, if I told you the worst of what Void did to him, but if it will better illustrate the depth of his suffering to you, I will..
Cyclonus: You give him false hope, then. He will not suceed except with his own wings and on his own feet. *absently strokes Scourge's hand with his thumb* He has been through hard times and he was not a strong mech to begin with. Galvatron himself said all Sweeps were cowards and he meant it, even in jest. *his expression hardens* I am not a weakling. Tell me.
Auspex: I don't withold that information for your sake, but his. I am not certain that the thought of you knowing will not strengthen his despair. But... *she considers a moment, then seems to come to a decision* He has been tortured, repeatedly dismembered -- Void could feel the pain of his victims in the parts of their bodies he took during torture, and he had a collection of Scourge's -- drained of energy through severed fuel-lines, psychologically abused -- told he was nothing, that his people were nothing, that you and your people hated him, and found it to be true when he sought you out -- beaten down by his captors for escaping, for wanting his life with his people back, forced to watch one of his Sweeps be tortured to death, starved, and, above all, spiritually abused. Rodimus Void tampered with his spark, sexually abused him... Void bonded Scourge's spark to his own!
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus manages to keep his face blank through most of this, but one might be able to hear the sound of metal being crushed beneath his hand as he grips the edge of the berth. But he snarls loudly at the last one. Torture is one thing, but that goes beyond madness. He gives himself a few moments to stop himself from screaming* Monster. *glares at her, attempting to keep his voice under control* And how did you force him to tell you this?
Auspex: *Auspex senses his rising anger (and notes the fingerprints forming in the metal), and fully understands it. She nods to herself slightly, but meets his gaze calmly* I did not force him. I told him I would listen without making judgement, and that he needed to tell someone what he had been through. He was afraid to tell you, and afraid that you would find out, that you would hate him for it. But I thought you had a right to know...
Cyclonus: *nods slightly, forcing his face to become emotionless again* The other Decepticons would not understand, no. They are still suspicious of him, they would be more so if they knew what lay in his spark. *remembers watching the security camera footage, seeing what they called him--Void's pet, whore, broken and damaged--and the way Scourge began to shake when their faces touched*
Auspex: There was so much that brought him pain, enough that even everyday occurances remind him of his ordeal; and I can sense his fear... he has been scarred, part of his spark has been stolen from him, and he needs time to regain the strength that was taken from him. He is very fortunate to have you, and that you seem to understand him. If he regains his confidence, his people will hopefully learn to trust him again...
Cyclonus: It makes a few things clearer. If what you're saying is true, that is. *will have to speak to Scourge later about this* The others are so used to hating unconditionally that it is hard for them to accept him back. Unless he does something great, it will take far too long for them to totally accept him.
Auspex: *she nods* I speak the truth, if he does; and his emotions match his stories, indicating the truth behind them. Please... if you talk with him about these things, show him that you do not hate him for them; he did not want you to know the source of his weakness, and I have told you despite his wishes. I am afraid this may only hurt him more, and cause him to distrust me, or possibly even you. This is why he needed time; his people's scorn of him only fuels his sense of inadequacy, as does the knowledge that those he is close to may turn away from him for it.
Cyclonus: *Over-energization means that the CPU becomes clouded or completely shuts down, but the main bodily functions may continue. Scourge moves in his sleep, tugging Cyclonus's hand a bit closer* I can't expect you to understand the way a triad works, priestess. We are already broken away from Galvatron and my bond with Scourge is very weak. But if his spark has been corrupted, renewing the bond will be impossible.
Auspex: *She considers that for a moment, tapping the wall thoughtfully* I don't believe it is permanent -- a spark will heal over time, if one is willing to wait for it to do so. Even corruption can be cleared away, but I don't think he is so much damaged by Chaos, as he is in pain, from a bond with someone so Chaotic. Most of his problem is in the connection between mind and spark, not so much the spark itself. Keeping his distance from Void should allow the pain to ease.
Cyclonus: But you, a priestess, have no way of making the pain stop? A bond is not easily broken, the both of us should know... *he pauses for a moment and touches Scourge's chest* If his spark was violated, I should have felt it as well. We are connected. *or they're supposed to be connected* Can one of us be corrupted and the other be clean?
Auspex: I can soothe the spark-pain with Primus's power; but when I offered, he was as yet too afraid to allow Primus's power to touch him. He will perhaps allow it now; but a long-term solution requires time.
He is not corrupted, in the sense that Chaos dwells in his spark. But an unwanted bond will cause an ache, a caged feeling, a longing to be free of it, and the fact that it is a modified one-way bond cannot be much of a comfort; Primus did not intend bonds to work that way.
Cyclonus: He will have to allow it, if that is the only way. *even if he has to hold his hand and force him through it, for his own good* There's no way to break it completely?
Auspex: *she sighs* A bond can usually only be severed by the death of the one the spark is bonded to. But... *she frowns, considering* given the unusual nature of this one-way bond, it can perhaps be cut. It would leave a hole in his spark, which will, for at least several months, be more painful than the unwanted bond is now. *she winces* It would also be painful for me, to do such a thing to him. I... would let him decide, first.
Cyclonus: It's better that he suffer a little pain now than for the rest of his life. Galvatron will not let us kill Void, if he can be killed at all. *listens to Scourge mumbling in his sleep* You would do this for him?
Auspex: *She winces again, with a small sigh of uncertainty* I would; it may allow him to more easily put Void's actions behind him, once the pain of a torn spark subsides... and that will be a long time. But I am not sure he is yet strong enough, to subject him, again, to the sort of pain he's already suffered.
Cyclonus: He will be. *his hand curls around Scourge's* He has to be.
Auspex: *She hesitates again* There is nothing I can do if he does not allow it. It is a dangerous undertaking.
Cyclonus: He is strong enough. He needs this.
Auspex: *she nods reluctantly* I hate to ask him when he is in this state.. but awaken him, if you must. *She dims her optics briefly, seeking Primus's counsel*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus shakes Scourge gently and the tracker's optics flicker onwards. While Auspex communes with Primus, Cyclonus explains what they're going to be doing. It's not a question.*
Auspex: *still holding to Primus's presence, she looks at the two triad-mates somewhat uneasily* Scourge? Is this acceptable? If you would rather not face this yet, it can wait. *Despite what Cyclonus may say..*
Scourge: *Cyclonus touches his shoulder and Scourge shivers* I can--I'll do it. *isn't about to disappoint Cyclonus again*
Auspex: *her optics flicker. She is still uneasy* This will be painful. *she looks between the two again* Be honest with me. If you are only allowing this to please Cyclonus, it is not a wise thing to do. *she glances back at the latter* If he cannot endure this, it may damage his mind.
Cyclonus: *Scourge sits up a bit more and Cyclonus holds his hand tighter* Better than then live with chaos in his spark. *Scourge nods slowly, feeling entirely unready for this. But he refuses to be more of a coward than he already is* It's worth the risk.
Auspex: *she still senses that hesitation* Not if time will allow you to be more prepared, it isn't. Matters of the spark should not be rushed.
Cyclonus: What exactly could he do to prepare for it? He's either strong enough or he isn't. And he is strong enough. *Scourge stops shaking, gritting his jaw. He's terrified, but he doesn't have a choice in it. Saying no is as good as claiming he wants the bond, to Cyclonus*
Auspex: *Auspex sighs, developing a definite annoyance at Cyclonus's behavior* Do not make up his mind for him. The bond is only secondary to his true problem; it is not vital that it be broken now. I know the idea of it is horrifying, but it can be dealt with in its time. It is uncomfortable for him, but not life-threatening. I will not needlessly risk his sanity before he is ready.
*She turns back to Scourge* You may need time to learn to seek Primus's strength for yourself. If you don't, this will not work. Are you certain?
Scourge: *purses his lips* Exactly what's going to happen to me if this doesn't work? *seems almost to be clinging to Cyclonus*
Auspex: *Auspex pauses a moment to confer with Primus. Her optics flicker uneasily* I risk undoing all the progress you've made since you were rescued from Void, and adding to that remembered pain. I'm not sure you could take much more of that sort of treatment.
Scourge: Can't see how it could get worse. *the fear in his optics is obvious*
Auspex: *Auspex sighs, looking rather uneasy, herself* Well... *she pauses as she queries Primus* Void's spark has a hold on yours, and... to put it visually, the moorings must be cut. The simplest way to do so is from inside those moorings... meaning you will need to cut them yourself. Primus will speak to you, and direct you in what you must do. Cyclonus's bond with you, and your connection with Primus, should be enough for you to find strength in, if you draw on them for that strength, and don't try to do this by yourself. *She pauses a moment, pondering*
Scourge: *Scourge nods, starting to shudder again. He feels sick* I...I can--scuse me. *he pushes away from Cyclonus and leans over the far side of the berth, choking up the remnants of unprocessed energon from the night before onto the floor* *well, at least he's not overenergized anymore*
Auspex: *Auspex gasps, looking rather stricken* Scourge! You don't seem ready for this. Here... *she reaches to touch his shoulder, pausing a moment to let Primus communicate with him through her. Peace, Scourge, strength... I will help Scourge. He is with friends, he will have help.*
Scourge: *Scourge spits and wipes the back of his mouth with his hand* I'm fine. Really. *he tries to repeat the mental mantra he's been reciting over the past few weeks* I'm safe, I'm safe, no one can hurt me, I'm good, I'm clean, I'm safe, I'm cared for, I'm safe.* I can do this.
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus attempts not to comment. He's not sure if Scourge is quite ready for this either, but he doesn't want to tell him not to try*
Auspex: *She gazes at him doubtfully for a few moments. She prays fervently that Primus will help him through this, and not let him be harmed. Primus does not give her a definite answer; it depends on Scourge's actions. She nods slowly* Very well, then. First, seek whatever solace may help you through this. *This recommendation is probably self-evident*
Scourge: Right. Right. *he takes Cyclonus's hand again and shuts off his optics, still visibly shaking* I can do this, I can do this, I'm strong and I'm safe and I can do this please dear Primus don't let this hurt. *Cyclonus holds his hand tightly, silently giving his support*
Auspex: *Auspex touches Scourge's shoulder again, darkening her optics to better focus on Primus. She spends a bit of time giving her own anxiety to Primus... this is something she's never had to do, and she doesn't think Scourge is in the best of shape to be attempting this. When she feels confident enough, when Primus has reassured her and filled her mind with his presence, she sends that presence on to Scourge.*
*Calm, courage, strength..*
Scourge: Strength, strength, yes. *Scourge takes Cyclonus's hand again, trying to push back his fear and the memories of the pain of bonding* I can do this.
Auspex: *There is a sense of soft nudging, a noting of those memories of pain... Scourge must in fact seek out that pain, find the source, the time of that pain, and banish it, undo it...*
Scourge: No, no I can't go back there again...but Cyclonus...I can't do this. *he has his optics shut off now, and is clinging to Cyclonus's arm*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus puts his arm around Scourge's waist, silently supporting him* You can do this.
Auspex: *Auspex pats his shoulder as she sends Primus's presence along to him. Scourge is not alone, I am here, Scourge's triad-mate, my servant, as well... strength, encouragement, but Scourge must trace the pain to its source. I will be with him, traveling the same paths, living the same pain... but the origins of the bond must be found, must be severed...*
Scourge: I'm scared. Help me do this. Protect me. *leans into Cyclonus, his wings trembling, his other hand fumbling for Auspex's*
Auspex: *At Primus's nudging, Auspex's optics spark online briefly to catch Scourge's hand, holding tightly, communicating her concern, and her understanding of his fear. I am with Scourge, they are with Scourge, he will not be lost to this, he is anchored with me, with those who care.. Void can do no more to Scourge, this is only remembered pain.. find it, break away from it, you are not alone..*
Scourge: *Scourge's grip tightens on the both of them* He can't hurt me, he's gone, I'm safe here. *Cyclonus is holding him, Auspex is touching him, Void's arms are not around him* Help me through.
Auspex: *Scourge is safe... I will keep him.. Scourge must find where he feels most stifled by Void's presence, and cut away, I will rend it.. there will be pain, but I am with Scourge, they will be here, there is solace through pain, and strength to endure..*
Scourge: *clutches to his supports, bracing himself* Show me how.
Auspex: *Seek me, I am in the spark, in Scourge's spark, he must first focus his mind on where his spark is, the material of it is within, where I am..*
Scourge: *Scourge focuses his attention inward, feeling the pulse of his spark, the darkened light within him* Can't touch it, don't want to touch it, it's so disgusting. *he sees it not as a bright ball of pure light, but a orb with dark purple threads of chaos around it, invading it, tying it up*
Auspex: *Soothing.. cool touch of calm, a feeling of support.. we must unravel the threads of Void's essence, find a point to cut away, and banish them... you are the spark, you are inside the web... it is not as bad as it seems, it can be dissolved away.. find the origin point of the threads of foreign spark, I am here, I am with you, my servant and your triad-mate..*
Scourge: *Scourge tenatively approaches his spark, hesitates, touches the first smallest strand of Chaos* No, no not again! *dark hands holding him down, pinning him to the wall, denting his metal with the barest of efforts*
Auspex: *Primus's presence weaves around Scourge's mind, steadying, steadfast. He speaks to Scourge even as he touches the memory, reassuring, guiding. Stay with me... Scourge must find the beginning, where Void anchored his Chaos-spark to Scourge's... I am here, these are but ghosts, shadows that linger..*
Scourge: *Scourge gingerly takes the first strand and pulls, fighting back his fear Outwardly, he whimpers and clings tighter to Cyclonus* One piece...one tiny piece, it hurts so much...
Auspex: *Auspex brings her other hand to join the first, clasping Scourge's hand, wincing as she catches the feedback of pain, and the echoes of Void's essence*
*more weaving with Scourge's consciousness, a lifeline around him, I know, I am here, I enfuse Scourge with my strength. Use my power, my energy, I will strengthen Scourge's hold on the foreign threads, do not fear them. They must be taken away, I will soothe you..*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus doesn't completely understand what's going on, but he holds Scourge gently and tries to stop his shaking*
Scourge: *Scourge grabs and clings to the supports* Just give me a moment... *he gathers his strength again and reaches for the next strand, whimpering audibly*
Auspex: *Be steady, Scourge has my strength at hand.. The thread of Void-spark loosens somewhat, to punctuate his point. I am working with Scourge, this can be done...*
Scourge: Stay, stay with me, don't leave me. *It's worse this time, far more vivid. Void is kissing him, biting him, pinning his hands over his head and clawing at his chest*
Auspex: *I am here, child, I remain, these are times past, the strands will be gone, the pain will be clean, the pain of healing replacing the pain of despair, and I am with Scourge... his bond with Cyclonus is here with him also, does he see it? Scourge can be strong, he has this, he has me..*
Scourge: Cyclonus...yes, he is there. *And there is a part of his spark that is not his, that is bound to the mech beside him, and another part that is ragged and beginning to heal that was once Galvatron. Cyclonus feels a sort of tug at his spark and he tugs back, pulling Scourge back from the darkness* Stay with me, Cyclonus.
Auspex: *Auspex rubs Scourge's hand soothingly as she continues to project. Scourge is safe, this will pass... he must seek further, hunt the threads of Chaos and we will banish them.. he is not alone..*
Scourge: Safe...safe. Yes. Safe. *the next thread tears away and dissolves as Scourge whimpers again. His wings seem about to shake off his body* Stop, stop, I can't do this anymore.
Auspex: *Spark-wash of comfort, stillness... rest.. rest, on me, on Scourge's bond with his triad-mate, and my servant is with Scourge... once started, this must be finished, but there is time to rest..*
Scourge: Shouldn't have started, can't do this... *Cyclonus holds him closer, looking over at Auspex, help him*
Auspex: *Auspex trembles for a moment, herself, and takes a moment to plead to Primus. Lord Primus, I feared this, he is not certain of your strength, he is wavering. He cannot do this by himself, and he is trying to. She is met with calm, an assurance that this will not end badly. She hesitates, before metaphorically bowing to his wisdom. She has faith that Primus can bring Scourge through this. Be with him..*
*Scourge... listen to me.. my power is greater than Void's.. I am within Scourge, within all of my children, and the core of Scourge's spark is of my own energy.. there is strength there, within, where I am.. Find this strength, Scourge can do this, if he relies not on his own failing resolve, the fast-fleeing strength, but draws on who and what I am..*
Scourge: I rely on you, I rely on Auspex, I rely on Cyclonus. Don't leave me alone in the dark, don't let me fall again. Help me take Void out of me. *and he braces himself and pushes in once more, removing strands even as they burn him* *and it's happening again, Void is opening his chest, laughing at his terror, ignoring his pleas for mercy. Scourge belongs to him and will always belong to him, there will be no escape*
Auspex: *Auspex's grip tightens very slightly as she catches fragments of remembered emotion from him. She's not having a wonderful time of this, either, though she remains thoroughly wrapped in Primus's presence*
*Lies of Chaos, they are untrue.. only my presence within Scourge is unbreakable, no one can destroy that, mask it as they will, change the surroundings as they may... I am with Scourge, I am greater than Void, my power can banish his hold on Scourge's spark... come, much progress has been made, continue.. finish this, I am here...*
Scourge: Make him stop, don't let him do this to me. *he's sobbing now, reliving it as if for the first time, as if it hasn't truly happened yet* *black fingers touching his inner circuitry, touching his spark, and he screams against Cyclonus's chest*
Auspex: *Auspex bows her head as she holds fast to Scourge's hand, drawing it slightly closer to herself as she senses the terror and despair of the memory. Primus... your strength, be with him. Void is a true reflection of the Chaos Bringer... this must be undone. Hold him together, my lord..*
*The power of Primus radiates strongly around Scourge's spark.. Scouge nears the source, it will be over shortly, hold on to me, to Scourge's triad-bond and my servant, it will be finished...*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus begins to doubt whether it was right to drive him to this, but there's no turning back now. He flinches as Scourge's claws leave deep furrows in his arm. I'm here, I'm here.*
Scourge: *Scourge can just barely feel the warmth around his spark, is just barely attached to what is real as Void forces a partial bond into him, pouring pure chaos energy into his spark like toxic sludge. Scourge can never go back, Scourge is not one of them, Scourge belongs to Void body and mind and spark and he has given them up willingly, out of fear*
No. I don't belong to you.
Auspex: *Auspex shudders at the strength of this sickening horror from her charge, and makes a small sound of mourning as she holds to his hand, paying no mind to clawed fingers as she concentrates on Primus's presence around her. Lord Primus, never have I been gladder to be a child of yours, that you can overcome such evil...
*Encouraging, a rush of strength and determination, steadfast... Scourge is not Void's, not with the last severing of this thread.. Scourge is mine, he is Cyclonus's, and will be watched over with love and patience, not cruelty as this... it is nearly finished..*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus can feel it, a rush of energy surging into him, the feeling of a bond cleaned and renewed* *Scourge is sinking to the floor, used and drained and polluted, and at the same time he is cutting free the last of his bonds, burning away the darkness inside him. His shuddering begins to cease*
Auspex: *The glow of power begins to fade, slowly, slowly, supporting Scourge as he separates his enslavement of the past from the freedom of the present... My child, it is finished, Scourge is free of his bond, I am here, Cyclonus is here, Auspex is near, Scourge has broken the bond. Rest, rest now, be safe in my light, in your bond with Cyclonus, my servant will watch over you.. there will be pain, it will linger long, but it will heal.. I am with you and you are free...*
Scourge: I'm whole. I'm safe. Cyclonus and Auspex are here. I'm...oh. *and, safe and whole, Scourge passes out*
Auspex: *Primus's presence whispers away slowly... rest, he tells Scourge's unconscious mind, and hope...*
*Auspex stays in Primus's presence for several moments after. Every time she has a glimpse of Chaos, the decay and death, she is reminded of what she has, as a servant of Primus, a child of Primus, and she desires to run to him like a child who's been away from her father much too long. You are light, you are Order, you drive away darkness and banish Chaos. You have restored the true bonds and banished the false...*
*Finally, her optics flicker back online, if somewhat dimly. The intensity of Scourge's emotions, and the power she'd lost in projecting, leave her feeling weak, drained. She gingerly brings Scourge's hand over, and offers it to Cyclonus.* It is done. The bond is gone. *She smiles weakly, but joyfully*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus slumps slightly and manuevers Scourge so he is lying back on the bed. He thoughtlessly brushes away the energon bleeding from his chest* I can feel it. We are closer.
Auspex: *Auspex nods slowly, her smile lingering faintly. She is tired, and it takes her a moment to realize Cyclonus is bleeding.* Oh... there are simple medical supplies and cleansing materials here, if you need them.. *she indicates a few shelves on the other side of the room*
Cyclonus: *Cyclonus gets up and staggers backwards, finding he's weaker than he thought* Thank you. *he stembles over to the shelves and pulls down a medkit* What...exactly happened?
Auspex: *She sighs a little, carefully seating herself on the floor, wincing a bit at the stiffness of standing in one spot for so long* He drew on Primus's strength to cut the strands of power that Void's spark had imposed on his own.
Cyclonus: So they really were bonded. *and he can't disguise the way his wings shudder at the thought. Cyclonus had touched him, and not known it* Is this something you normally do?
Auspex: He did not share a bond with Void. Void imposed a modified bond on him, so that Void would be free, while Scourge was bound to him. Bonds are not supposed to work that way. *She glances up sharply at what she senses; she's not sure of the exact nature of the disgust, but infers* It was not a willing bond. He was reliving the forced bonding, just now... he was terrified, and in pain, and had lost all hope.
*she sighs again, idly gazing at a few tiny scratches in her fingers, mildly surprised they haven't been cut, considering the rather clawed state Cyclonus is in* I've never had to aid in severing a bond before. Unwanted bonds are very rare.
Cyclonus: I would hope not. The entire concept's rather disgusting. *he sits back on the edge of Scourge's berth and begins cleaning himself up* Why didn't he say anything? If he hadn't spoken to you, he might have lived out his life like this. *and why didn't he say anything to me, I'm his damn triadmate*
Auspex: *She nods, replying shortly, subdued* It is...
He did not tell you, because such is the nature of the shame and fear he felt. Much of it was Void's doing. From what I've gathered of Void, from several different sources, he is a master at preying on and building up others' fears, and psychologically setting them up to remain fearful. With someone as fearful as Scourge seems to be, it was probably almost too easy to make him believe that he was hated by everyone... and Void manipulated circumstances to ensure that it was true. I understand many of your people believed he'd defected. *And you as well goes unsaid.*
Cyclonus: That was how it appeared. Void sent him to fight against us. *he begins sealing the cuts on his chest* Scourge contacted me once, in the middle of a battle. He begged me to rescue him. The other Decepticons refused to risk themselves for him, so I went alone to Void's ship. *he dabs up a few drops of spilt mech fluid* It was a trap. I thought, at the time, that Scourge had conspired with Void to lure me to his ship and capture me. Later I found out that Void had been tapping Scourge's commlink. If he couldn't capture me, he would at least cement Scourge's status as traitor.
Auspex: *She nods slowly, sadly* That was when he forced Scourge to shoot you...? *she winces*
Cyclonus: *shakes his head* You make it sound as if he had no choice.
Auspex: *Auspex sighs softly* He did... but Void's psychological manipulations had taken root by that point; and he had learned to think there was no other way. Void twisted his thinking with lies, threats of pain... he is still fighting to break through those barriers. There is also evidence that he was trying to drive you away from someone he'd learned to believe, with no uncertainty, could kill you far too easily. Better to be wounded by Scourge than killed by Void, in his thinking.
Cyclonus: *seals up another cut* I am not blaming him, priestess, but I still say that he had a choice. Better to die a Decepticon than obey Void, and he was not strong enough to be a Decepticon. *his hand slips and he welds over himself* Scourge did not shoot to wound. He meant to kill me and save himself. I am not condemning him, but I am not making up falsehoods to make him feel better either.
Auspex: *Auspex notes the slip, and the accompanying brief waver of emotion, with a rueful wince* That is exactly what he told me. The timbre of his deepest thoughts, however, were telling; there were some very elaborate lies he'd constructed for himself, to avoid having his pain exploited by the one he feared. The mind is very strange; the most convincing deception is to deceive yourself. There are many layers of truths and deceptions in Scourge's mind, many of them self-made, as a survival technique.
Cyclonus: And your point is? *in another place, another dimension, he'd be reminded of Torkulon*
Auspex: My point is, he believed he was shooting to kill, as did you, as did Void. But his underlying emotion says the complete opposite: that he'd intended to only wound you, and so that is what happened. It's very strange; rarely have I come across something so... contrary.
Cyclonus: So he says. So he wants to believe. It proves nothing.
Auspex: What someone says, even what someone believes, and what someone feels is often quite different. I defend him, because it is vitally important to make that distinction, and to illustrate to you how much his mind has been wounded by what he suffered. However, I will concede, that he was directed more by his fear than his loyalty to your people's cause. But the underlying motive was well-intentioned, if that is of any solace.
Cyclonus: *finishes the last cut* Priestess. *looks up at her* You care about Scourge?
Auspex: *she nods* I made a promise to Primus that I would see to his spiritual wholeness. Much can be done to heal a person, simply by caring for them.
Cyclonus: Then if you do care about him, you'll stop this. *puts the repair tools down* Do you think any of this conjecture will help him stand up for himself around Decepticons? He can't stay here forever. *even if I have to drag him out by force*
Auspex: *She looks at him solemnly, for a long moment.* No, he cannot, and it would not be healthy if he did. He could not return to his own people if he became too complacent. But before he can be a Decepticon again, he must be a stable person, and he needs a solid emotional ground to stand on. Believing he tried to kill his own triad-mate when he did not, is hardly stable. Even if the lie would make him seem to be a more effective Decepticon, it destablizes his belief in himself, and that will affect his effectiveness to your people.
Cyclonus: He did try to kill me. He failed and I've forgiven him. It's over. Leaving him to dwell on it will only worsen things. *he knows this, he's made sure to keep Scourge busy and not alone as much as he can to keep him from thinking too hard*
Auspex: *she sighs* I do not agree about his motive, but it is true that he need not think on the incident again. It is told, it is past, and has no bearing on the present... as long as he keeps it in the past. But past events still haunt him at times, and, if he finds his mind wandering back, it is better that he understands his true motives of the time, than agonize over imagined ones. The best solution is to keep him from thinking on it at all, but that is not an easy undertaking.
Cyclonus: I keep him busy and I keep an optic on him. You've done your job. Let him come home. *the back of his hand grazes Scourge's wing. Scourge looks peaceful for once, he's not cringing or whimpering or trying to stay out of sight*
Auspex: *she nods* I do not keep him here. He has had time to rest, has spoken to Primus, has severed his bond with Void: there are yet things he can learn about keeping his past in the past where it belongs, and he is still not as confident as he should be... but those lessons are not necessarily mine to teach. I only hope that your people's coldness toward him does not drive him back to despair. I think... he is past that, to a certain extent, but he will still have moments of strong self-doubt.
Cyclonus: *keeps his opinions on Primus to himself* Whatever happens, healing or not, it will happen with us. He will endure.
Auspex: *She senses the timbre of them, anyway, and answers them with a small sigh, but she nods at his words* I believe he will, and that is my wish for him. He is easily one of the most... haunted individuals I've worked with in my life. It will be a great joy for me if he regains his self-confidence among his people, but I am content that he has progressed as much as he has.
Cyclonus: *runs one finger along the edge of his wing* If the bond is broken, he find things a bit easier, I admit. *moves his hand away* But he should have told me before you.
Auspex: *She sighs again, letting her optics trail around the room for a moment -- catching sight of the small pool of regurgitated energon Scourge unfortunately lost... she makes note to clean that up -- but there are more important things at the moment than slight messes. She must see to Cyclonus's concern.* I could hardly agree more; I told him as much. But... from what I sensed, he had rathered you wonder what happened to him, and still support him despite your disappointment in him; still have you, even though at more of a distance than before... than to tell you of the forced bond, and the things that, in his estimation, made him too broken and sullied to be worthy of your attention. *she sighs softly*
Cyclonus: And that's the sort of thought--*tilts his head to one side for a moment, listening to a message on his commlink* Can't leave them alone two astroseconds... *he glances at Scourge* I'll be back for him. Let him rest. *he darts out the door*
Auspex: *smiles in gentle humor at his comment. It sounds as though he is a good leader. She nods to him shortly, as he makes his request and hurries away*
Auspex has returned to her seat in the main sanctuary, reviewing her most recent notes, and replenishing lost energy via the consumption of an energon cube. Scourge has been unconscious for a good while, but she's let him rest; after the pain of cutting a bond and the resulting spark-tear, he needs it. She could use some rest, herself, but Primus has told her to remain alert, and so she is, more or less.