RP Log: Saeki & Bane part 1 of 2
Date: A month or so ago
Rating: PG
Summary: Saeki goes to the hotel Bane is staying at to tell him it's time to go home and patch things up with his wife. The encounter doesn't go as planned and confessions are made.
Harukaze Kurobane was an idiot.
That was Kojirou Saeki’s thought when the little marriage turmoil started a few days ago and it was still his thought when he collected a change of clothes and some bathroom items from Bane’s home before continuing on to the hotel he had put his idiot friend up in for a night or possibly even two of sulking and thinking. What Saeki didn’t plan on was the extension of the sulking or just plain hiding the husband of his sister would do. What was the point of staying hidden away and ignoring any conversations to sort out the truth especially when the charming brother-in-law had talked with the upset pregnant wife to calm her down some? All Bane had to do was return home, possibly say he was sorry for not coming back sooner, and wait to hear what Rivalee had to say.
Seriously, what was so difficult with this when he hadn’t done anything wrong?
Saeki wondered how he would act if he was in his friend’s shoes. He could say all the things that should be done now but if he was in a relationship and accused of cheating when he hadn’t would he stay silent and let whatever was believed about him become the truth or would he try to explain things regardless of how obvious it should be? He had a feeling Bane’s current path would be one he walked as well but to a certain point. A quick explanation which would probably be more along the lines of a verbal spar would be had before stomping off in annoyance and hiding out somewhere until he was approached by the accusing party. Too bad his sister didn’t have any intentions of seeking out her absent husband she had wrongly-in this instance at least-accused. She wanted to talk and likely make up but she wasn’t one to do any grovelling or make such a first step. If Bane wanted her to talk, then Bane would have to be the one to come to her.
He never should have given his approval of the ridiculous marriage idea.
The awkwardness of having his best friend and older sister being married and having sex was one thing and the random fights that possibly wouldn’t happen if they had a proper courtship and knew each other was another, but if Saeki was being entirely honest with himself he’d know it was his own attraction to the oaf he’d known nearly forever. Why did their attraction and lust over each other come so late into knowing one another? He knew the answer without even having to think on it; Ryou and Davide. They had grown up with each other and when their small group of friends kept growing and introduced the redhead and then the ebony-haired quiet boy both of their attentions started to drift when relationships was something new to explore. A lot ended up happening between the four of them that left many broken hearts scattered behind though Saeki never really thought it had changed how any of them viewed each other.
When did the realization that he was physically attracted to Bane begin? That was a question that plagued Saeki often over the last two or three years and he still didn’t have a definite answer as he rode the elevator to the floor Bane’s suite was located on. Was it the unplanned sexual encounter that came out of the time he tried to terminate his friendship with the man he felt was making his life miserable just for sport and punishment? No; that was something Saeki never regretted and could still claim was a hot experience though maybe that was what started the new way of viewing the tall, muscular, and ruggedly sexy friend that lead to a night that never should have been. If that first time wasn’t the start of things, Saeki was willing to bet it was their night out for their birthday celebrating that had them too drunk to think properly where dancing led to a desire for more and a morning of waking up in a hotel room together promising the other to never tell Rivalee-the newly claimed fiancé of Bane. Somehow that one night of absolute pleasure started a pattern where sneaking off alone together saw them entwined and beginning an affair that was bound to hurt more people than just one glowing soon-to-be bride that later turned into the glowing wife.
Saeki had always been conscious of his actions with Bane and even some of his other lovers that he did in fact flaunt and date in public knowing how it would affect Ryou, his friend that had claimed a deep love of the flirtatious Aussie years ago. Hell, Saeki had to admit he loved Ryou as well and just before high school graduation he announced his feelings. That still wasn’t enough to keep them together though that was more due to their need to experience everything and having different paths of life at the time. So how could he claim to love Ryou yet not still be with the man? How could he be with Bane in secret with growing feelings that left him confused yet still worry about how Ryou and his sister would react to such a thing? Those were other questions Saeki pondered and dissected in his free time he tried to keep little of for that very reason. Ryou was his first love and he didn’t doubt the fact that he would always love the snarking artist but Bane was his current… attraction. Saying he loved Bane was something Saeki wasn’t prepared for thanks to his fear of the word and all it meant and brought around but the situation that spawned-or perhaps just awakened that which was already there-such emotions was too complicated for anything else to be tossed in.
He wasn’t going to think on any of that any further, Saeki reminded himself as he dug from his pocket the key card he had the front desk clerk make for him when he first rented the room for Bane. There had been a chance the highly drunken-at-the-time friend would try to keep up that state of numb bliss as long as he could or just refuse to answer the door and so Saeki had wanted his own way into the room and received it-he was paying for the room after all. It wasn’t like he was worried about walking in on Bane having sex with anyone when the man had announced the currently pink-haired best friend of his was the only one he would consider cheating with and hadn’t he seen Bane naked more than once before? So, with awkward and confusing thoughts shoved aside and an unneeded pat of reassurance that the bag full of Bane’s items was still on his shoulder, the key was swiped, the green light came on, and the handle was turned to allow the concerned friend admittance into a lavish room Saeki didn’t even have a chance to scan for signs of Bane.
There, before him as Saeki stood in the entry way with the door slipping of his hand and sliding shut behind him, stood Bane emerging from the bathroom that was steamed-not that cerulean eyes caught that fact at first as they were busy staring elsewhere, wide-eyed-with a towel slung low on hips to show the v-shaped definition of a perfectly toned abdomen that still had beads of water clinging to. Well shit, there went his iron will and confidence nothing he could walk in on would faze him. “Hey, mate,” he managed to casually toss out with a grin in what Saeki hoped was neither too short nor long in coming after the pause he had made; though moving from the spot he found himself planted to was still something he was working on-just as keeping any sexual comments and desires at bay was proving to be a challenge.
To say the happenings of late were maddening was an understatement as they had one Harukaze Kurobane steaming long after his front door had slammed in his face, his very pregnant wife having herded him straight out it seconds after she’d blown her stack during a discussion about an actress playing the lead role in a movie they were watching at the time of Rivalee’s explosion. His head might have been fuzzy still from a long night of drinking, a night he could vaguely remember coming to an end when his best friend and brother-in-law, Kojirou Saeki had hunted him down and dragged his staggering ass home. Bane had been, very unapologetically one might add, getting shitfaced at the time as he believed that there were certain times in a man’s life that nothing but the most expensive bottle of Scotch would do. One such time was in the hour of his learning that his wife believed he’d cheated on her. And although he might have done so before they were married and even on their wedding day, he knew he damn well had not been straying from her bed since learning of her pregnancy.
He and his secret lover-her very own brother and his best friend since early childhood-had long since mutually agreed, never again. Never again would he taste the heated passion those lips could incite. Now muttering a casual “Hey, mate,” they curled into a casual grin that Bane knew for the façade it was the minute it came out of hiding, even as he countered with a mimicry of Saeki’s greeting. He came to a stop there the hallway of the hotel room he could only guess had been procured for him the night before, probably by the same man standing some feet away from him all but eating him up with his gaze. The towering brunette with deep chocolate eyes felt the touch of that gaze all they way down to his soul, or so he fancied. Nobody, not even Saeki himself knew just how much he had missed the stolen moments they used to indulge in. Nobody but the man that glowered impressively at the intruder invading his sanctuary, despite his nearly nude state and the water that trickled over tanned flesh here and there, leaving a glisten trail for cerulean eyes to follow, before his uninvited guest tore his gaze away from the vicinity of hips barely covered in the flimsy shield of a damp towel.
It crossed Bane’s mind while he stood there under his friend’s visual inspection, and not for the first time as many a moment the night before had seen the same thought sneaking out of hiding, that he’d already been damned for the crime. And while he was sure his lovely wife though he was off bonking some woman or another, the truth was that if he was inclined to cheat then it would be this man whose bed he went crawling into and whose body he would get lost in, not some nameless Sheila picked up at a bar. Yes, he had thought it. He had even plotted out marching his drunk ass on over to Saeki’s and barging in to sweep the smaller man off his feet, only to drag him into a bedroom Bane knew had seen more company than his, especially the company of a certain raven-haired brat they all knew and loved. (Or knew and hated- when it came to Ryou Kisarazu it all depended.) Yet, despite his mental fantasy, a scorching hot one that had seen Bane through a date with his hand, he hadn’t so much as stepped foot toward his best friend’s house, not even while drunk off his arse and during moments in which the idea seemed like a ripper one.
He had promised not only the man whose blue eyes his sought out but also the wife that had tossed his ass to the curb the night before. Sure, he was tempted. Jesus, fuck, how tempted was he with Saeki in arm’s reach, that sexy little body so close to his that all it would take would be a few strides to eat up the distance to allow for some feasting of his own. He had promised Rivalee not long after she made her announcement revealing her pregnancy, on a morning during which her nausea had been at its worst, keeping her running for the bathroom every time a certain smell hit her. He had rushed to follow her, after about the forth trip that saw the contents of her stomach being emptied into their toilet, worried for her as much as he had been for the child she carried. It was his responsibility, a weight he carried and one he intended to see through. His responsibility and his right to see her properly cared for, protected, cherished and adored. He would probably never say he loved her, not in the manner she deserved to hear from her husband, but he would do everything to make sure that the rest of their lives went smoothly, insuring that she never had any reason to regret marrying him or carrying his child to term. The decision to cut off his sinful activities with Saeki was a hard one and although he had previously agreed with the blonde’s demand to be faithful once the truth was laid at his door and the up and coming birth revealed, it wasn’t really until that moment of time while he gently smoothed damp tresses from a sweaty forehead and held a trembling body against his that Bane cemented the pledge in his heart.
Now, though, his heart whispered to him speaking snidely of how little faith his wife had in him and how little Saeki must have had to believe for a single moment that he’d screwed around on them with anyone, but especially the hot redhead Bane once had been in love with. Now, he heard words of anger and silent rage strumming through his mind, unbidden urgings telling him that if he had been damned than he should at least enjoy the crime he was found guilty of. Except, he wasn’t all that certain the thoughts running through his mind would become a reality, even if his cock felt heavy and sensitized from the images already unfolding in his head, all of them involving Saeki shamelessly draped over a piece of furniture or another, taking his dick in a hard, ruthless fucking that would leave them both too wrung out to move, much less go again though he’d probably give it a fair go. “What brings you?” he murmured with a sharper bite than he intended, his fantasizes far too vivid for his liking. Anything that put him in danger of cheating on Rivalee again, especially at this moment in time, needed killing off quick. Now, if it were only that easy to convince his fucking body of that.
Saeki swore he didn't shift uncomfortably under that heated gaze that he couldn't tell was created from anger or lust. It had always been a challenge to read Bane and now was no different. It was likely anger, he decided, and with good reason given what his friend had been through in recent days from being tossed out by his wife, accused of cheating, and then drinking himself into a stupor. He was allowed to want to vent and lash out at someone though that didn't mean the pink-haired man controlling his gawking at a tanned body had to be that whipping boy. Hell no; not when he was the one who talked to the wife, hunted down the drunk husband, and then paid for a fancy room for Bane to hide in. "My Crossfire," he replied with heavy sarcasm dripping from his words that were a little sharper than one would have suspected given the smirk that still played on his lips.
Bantering with his friend held the possibility to pull his mind away from the body before him that was creating one fantasy after the other, each one hot and tempting yet not allowed to become anything more than brain candy. Not that standing there with such visual stimulation was helping that much. With determination, Saeki walked further into the room until he stood by the bed where he removed his bag and set it on the large king bed. "I also knew how much you were bound to miss me... or at least some of your own belongings like clothes and a toothbrush," he replied a little more evenly now though he could tell he was still being a tad snarky in his words but didn't care as he waved to the messenger bag for Bane to rifle through.
“The toothbrush, yes,” Bane silkily replied, taking offense at the sarcasm in Saeki’s tone even though he knew he had no right to with how snappish he had sounded when speaking to his brother-in-law moments prior. Honestly, it wasn’t this man that deserved his anger, and neither did his wife. Bane knew it, but being accused of something he was innocent of doing had a way of lighting his temper so that it smoldered for days. “But I haven’t concluded whether or not I miss the clothes, yet.”
He was bound to hell in the afterlife, would most likely be escorted right into its flaming depths by the devil himself, Bane swore silently to himself when his sulking grumpiness egged him into lowering a steady hand to his waist where strong fingers gave a tug to the cloth towel wrapped around his hips. Yeah, he was probably the biggest bastard that had ever lived to date, but fuck, he had suffered through barrage after barrage of guilt, loneliness, and heartache since being kicked out of his home. It was about damn time someone else suffered with him, and it suited his usual hidden streak of evil to make the source of part of his problem emotions ache as he had and was still doing. Which made the loss of his towel all that much easier to weather when it fell to the floor unhindered, leaving him very much naked and very unrepentant to those blue as the sea eyes.
"Aww so you don't miss... me..." Saeki's voice trailed off as he glanced over at his friend in time to watch the towel fall to the floor, leaving one very nude best friend for eyes of cerulean to take in. A whirlwind of emotions struck him then and Saeki wasn't sure which one to go with. His eyes, he knew, were always far too expressive and conveyed his emotions and thoughts with ease when his usual weapon of choice of words weren't being used to make the point perfectly clear. In that moment he also knew his eyes had to be sharpening with lust to make him the predator his friends always called him by but at the same time he wondered if the sadness he felt at knowing he couldn't touch what was being presented before him and how he felt like his feelings were being teased showed through.
It was pretty ridiculous of him to still want Bane all this time after the man had married Rivalee almost two years ago and was now expecting a child with her. It was his choice to end things with his friend but some days Saeki wondered why he wasn't being selfish and continuing with following his desires and seeking out the body that was now easily within reach. In the end, it was less complicated to allow himself to hurt than his sister, Ryou, and the families involved. Knowing that he still had his best friend after it all also helped. But now, that same best friend was being an ass by showing off what Saeki had and could have still had if he didn't try playing the role of the good little brother again and it was driving the pink-haired man insane.
Willing his thoughts away from memories of their sexual encounters of the past and the fantasies of what could be in the present on the bed he turned to again, Saeki busied himself with the bag. "Just one change of clothes. Jeans, the red shirt I know Riv likes you in, boxers, the toothbrush, some hair products..." he wouldn't let Bane throw him off his gesture of goodwill with bringing items to him and he wouldn't let Bane make him more miserable than he already was--though he knew the last part was already a lie and Saeki was tempted to kick that bare ass for his new suffering.
It showed and Bane was thankful for it, even as he derived some twisted sense of satisfaction from seeing the melancholy that mingled within lustful blue eyes. He was sick of feeling as if he suffered alone, even though he knew he was right where he was at in his life because of the choices he made. No one but he was at fault that each night he thought of not just his wife but the man across from him, sometimes, mostly the man across from him. The brown-eyed Australian wondered how close to infidelity it came to have such thoughts, to wish for something different he knew he couldn’t have, and damned himself even more for his selfish greed because if he ever acted on any of his thoughts or emotions his wife would pay a far dearer price than he. He owed some loyalty to Rivalee simply because of the title she held and even more for the child she carried, plus he just could not find it within himself to hurt the woman he adored just because he didn’t love her as much as he could now he acknowledge he loved her brother. “Not a bit.” Bane answered sulkily, his thoughts in such turmoil that he couldn’t hide the peevish tone coloring his words making him sound much like a sulking child instead of the adult that he was.
Fuck, he had to get over this. He was a man fully grown, and one certainly old enough to understand he couldn’t always have what he wanted. However, no matter his age he was still just childish enough to enjoy getting a dig in here and there, verbal and nonverbal; especially ones that would insure Saeki never forgot about him or found another to replace him in his life, even if they couldn’t be together. This probably explained exactly why he didn’t immediately head for that pile of clothing, but instead for the dresser backed against one wall and the comb that lay abandoned atop it. There was time enough to seek out those clothes, time enough to hide away the muscular body that he teased his brother-in-law with, but never a time for him to indulge the silent urgings of his mind that would see him hefting the other into his arms, only to throw him onto that bed and strip him bare, so he could enjoy the spoils of his capture.
Saeki didn’t have a clever or witty retort to what he hoped was just banter. What he hoped for and what he currently felt, however, were different matters entirely. Those words felt like a blow to his ego and feelings he had for the arrogant man strutting around the room that left the smaller Australian wondering why he was still there or why he came at all. He had agreed to Bane’s crazy idea to marry Rivalee and while he now regretted it, Saeki wasn’t going to let it fall apart because of a misunderstanding which was why he brought clothes for his friend and word about what had been happening since he went into his little mini-seclusion. Only, he didn’t have a chance to give that report and now didn’t really care to though he knew he would likely still mention something for his sister’s sake if nothing else.
“Right then, since you don’t miss me I must clearly be in your way so I’ll just be going now,” Saeki finally spoke to the back of Bane, resisting the temptation to kick the bare behind so prominently on display-and no doubt purposely done as well. He left his bag where it was on the bed, figuring he could at least continue his charade of caring best friend by leaving it to carry home any items the jerk stored up over his time in the hotel. As he walked passed Bane on his way to the door, he called the man a jackass under his breath, still tempted to give a swift kick to the guy that always enjoyed a good swift kick to the ass in their youth so long as he was the one giving them. Oh hell, who was he kidding? When he was far enough away, Saeki stopped, spun around, and with speed and agility sent a leg lifting in a slight roundhouse move that had the side of his shoed-foot connecting with a firm ass. With a pleased smirk at the contact that wasn’t overly hard but still above a little love tap, the pleased yet still miserable blue-eyed man returned to his quest of leaving.
It was the first time in his life that he’d ever been hit, so the shock he underwent right then shouldn’t have been present but it was. Bane tried to reason through it, telling himself that it was seldom that Saeki ever resorted to violence, and while he knew that the kick wasn’t meant to harm as it barely registered beyond a swift knock against his ass, he knew that for that particular friend to display and use such antics… well, then, Saeki had to be annoyed. Like his marching off didn’t get that point across well enough.
Growling, Bane shook himself out of his stupor and darted for the slender man just opening his door, one hand snaking out to grab for a slender wrist. “Damn it, just wait. Hold on!” he snarled, his frustration spiking. It was solely aimed at himself, because he had known his needling would eventually get to his best friend in ways that would either see them snapping at each other, or storming off. “Shit,” he muttered roughly as he jerked the smaller man around to face, brown eyes losing some of the spark that had brightened them in his earlier annoyance.
“I missed you, okay!”
“Fine, you missed me now how about your wife?” Saeki shot back, torn between continuing to be annoyed, continuing to be miserable, and pleased at his hold over Bane. He let go of the handle he still had a light hold on and focused on removing the strong hand from his wrist while working out in his head the scenarios that could happen between them right then. If the woman that gold band currently missing-a keen eye earlier had spotted it on the dresser by the comb-on the ring finger wrapped around his wrist represented wasn’t his sister or if there wasn’t a ring at all, things could have turned pretty damn hot. Saeki pictured himself pressing against the bare chest, hands wandering where they pleased while his mouth alternated between initiating kisses and demands they find the bed. But that was out of the question and something left to his fantasies and dreams to torture himself with at nights when he slept alone or let his mind wander to his friend before falling asleep.
Another scenario had them yelling during one of their random fights that liked to spring up on occasion thanks to both men being stubborn and the last saw them having a serious talk about how they ended up in such a mess and Saeki getting answers for his curiosity that left him wondering what the hell Bane had meant in those comments for days now. Since the first-and his personal favourite-idea was never going to happen it was going to be a toss up between the other scenarios and Saeki wasn’t going to know which one it was until he spoke. Preparing himself for both fighting and awkward conversation he took his initial statement a step further, “she misses you, Bane, and she’s sorry for what happened. Go home so she can tell you that herself.”
Bane faltered as the words drummed against his ears, reminding him of the woman he couldn’t forget even when he tried not to think about her. He wondered, if he had known in his youth the hold the Saeki clan would eventually have over him, would he have completely ignored the blue-eyed git in front of him? Possibly, found some other best friend to forge those bonds with that would tie them together for life, because, fuck, it wasn’t just Saeki that had his claws sunk deep into his hide, but Rivalee also.
Not likely, he thought as he dragged a hand roughly through damp brown locks that lay curling around his brow. It was rather funny, if you thought about it. He was married to the sister, more than halfway infatuated with her and her spunk, but… And there was always a but, wasn’t there? But he was more than just infatuated with the blue-eyed wanker he towered over. “Yeah,” he mumbled lowly, gaze shying from his best friend to seek out the bed and the shirt lying there. It was the color of blood, vibrantly red and fashionable to the core-a personal favorite of Rivalee’s. She loved to see him wear it, had stated as much more than once since the day she bought it for him. If it was here now, instead of a blue one or some other color that Saeki deemed worthy then his friend had taken time to choose something that would insure he thought about the woman they both cared for deeply enough to put a halt to what they shared when greedy want would have had them both indulging their insanity a little longer.
“I miss her too.” He finally admitted truthfully, remembering that were he home right then he’d probably be curled up on the couch with her by his side, listening to her recount some escapade or another, or complain jokingly about how he was the cause of her swollen ankles and fingers. The way he felt for both siblings was completely immoral every near standard of society. Yet, he couldn’t seem to turn it off within himself, no matter how many times he told himself it was wrong. Knowing this, was it right to return to his home and her, especially when he was still so angry over being kicked out over something he hadn’t done since his affair with Saeki had ended? Was it even through? Could it ever be over when he didn’t want it to be over?
God, what a fucking mess he was, but mess or not he was still man enough to keep his word. He had called it off with Saeki and promised to never cheat again, which he hadn’t done. If he were going to cheat it would be with the man he stood before bare-assed naked without a care to his lack of clothing or how most would be shocked by his nudity. He sure as hell wouldn’t be cheating with some skank he ran into at a fucking bar! He wouldn’t take another woman to bed when the one he was married to came close to being a fucking goddess in his eyes. And he knew that his way of thinking was wrong, that most people wouldn’t see a difference in who he cheated with, just that he cheated and that would be the bottom line. But to him there was a huge difference as he thought it would be a major insult to his woman to take another woman to his bed, not so much an insult when it was Saeki. Firstly, Saeki wasn’t another woman for Rivalee to wonder what her allure was and in what ways she was flawed compared to the female he’d chosen to cheat with, and secondly, it was her brother. Not that that made it any better, but there was just something in knowing it was him and not someone unrelated or a complete stranger he’d met on a whim, but someone he’d known most of his life.
“I miss her too,” Bane suddenly repeated on a breath of air that shook his shoulders with the force of his exhalation, his thoughts thrown to a halt by sheer force of will. He’d grown accustom to rearing them in when he came close to admitting the unspeakable to himself or anyone, so it wasn’t such a hardship to hide it one more time when he lifted brown eyes to blue, revealing the deep-seated misery clouding his gaze. “But I don’t think I can go home right now. It wouldn’t do Riv any good for her husband to come home with his temper ready to snap, not in her condition.” Yeah, maybe he was treating his wife like she was made of glass, but he didn’t want to step through the door and snap her head off the minute she brought the conversation around to her suspicions. Nothing would be accomplished with that, other than to leave her in tears. And maybe he just wanted a little time to regroup, to rein his emotions in, before she caught wind of his feelings for her sibling because sure as hell he was far too close to showing how he felt right then.
“I heard you the first time,” Saeki mumbled in annoyance at hearing that Bane did miss his wife. He was happy, of course, since it helped to keep his mind believing that the marriage was the right thing for everyone but it sort of hurt to hear it over and over when he knew Bane missed him as well and had an attraction to him. He was starting to get annoyed with that back and forth habit he had picked up somewhere and decided blaming Ryou was a good idea. Ryou was the one that had started the confusion thing on him years ago when Saeki couldn’t make up his mind about liking the man, wanting to date him, wanting his freedom, loving the man, wanting his freedom. It was a vicious cycle that sort of worked for them when they weren’t in their fighting portion of it which they currently, thankfully, weren’t though he could only imagine the yelling or at least the pain in stormy grey eyes the truth with Bane coming out would cause.
It was best not to think about that or the confusion he had over Ryou, Bane, and sometimes even Kajimoto as defining relationships with any of them would give just about any sane person a headache before his tales of just one of his mates ended. Hell, explaining his flirtatious nature and physical relationships with anyone he fancied enough would leave people wondering how he functioned at all and managed to fall for his two closest friends. Again Saeki realized he was still thinking about things he knew he shouldn’t be thinking about in the presence of Bane in general but especially while trying to sort things out so he could go home to his wife but his mind kept wandering there in the silence that fell between them as they both took to looking everywhere but at each other.
“This is pretty bloody ridiculous, mate,” he blurted out seconds or minutes later, “No, I think I’ll actually just go with calling this fucked up.” Saeki gave Bane a small smile knowing his swearing would shock his friend that liked to tease him for his proper manners but it fit. They had feelings for each other no matter how late in the game they were discovered and then understood but one was married to the other’s sister though they had still continued their secret affair until recently. Now they were locked in a hotel room together with one naked and still entirely too close for Saeki’s sanity and reason to continue staying in charge as he thought about how he’d love to be backed up against the door and kissed while hands worked to remove his clothing all while they talked about his pregnant sister.
Without meaning to Saeki started to laugh; a soft low laugh but still one all the same. “Insanity! I’m definitely suffering from insanity. I’m here to get you to go home to your wife, my sister, that’s carrying your child, my niece or nephew, yet all I want to do is jump you and kiss you until we’re breathless. And I’d do it, too, and you know I would and have probably seen me do it not only with you but anyone I fancy enough to earn such attention but it’s Riv! So that didn’t stop us before but she’s pregnant!” He was babbling now, which was normally a telltale sign of his nervousness but right then it represented something closer to hysterics. Saeki decided it was better to laugh and be seen as a raving loon by his friend that had seen all his sides and emotions over the years than to break down and cry or whine about what he wanted. It probably wasn’t fair to let Bane know he was still wanted and thought about far too often but the blue-eyed Aussie that had sometime during his spiel stopped staring at hands or the wall to find the taller man’s face couldn’t stop the words that started to feel more like a release.
“Yeah, it’s Riv and she’s pregnant.” Bane agreed through the alarm that was starting to rise, his gaze caught and held by the blue-eyed man that didn’t seem too far off from laughing like a loon, if his babbling was any indication of how close Saeki was to actually being as insane as he claimed he was. Nothing in his life had ever prepared him for moments like these, moments where he had to make choices, hard fucking choices about what he should do and the best course of action to take, so the minute he understood exactly what he should be doing left him feeling about as low as a worm. It completely contradicted his previous vows, because he’d been telling himself for months to keep his hands off his best friend. So what did he do the minute it looked like Saeki needed physical comfort?
He once again ignored the fact that he was completely nude, reached for the babbling Aussie, and drew him into a tight hug that plastered that smaller body against his. “But I still want you.” He thought needed was probably a better word for the hunger that lay just below the surface as he dipped his head to burrow into the curve of Saeki’s neck, brow nestling as if it were made to fit right into that tiny crook he found to rest it against. Because he certainly hadn’t gone through this much hell with his feelings in previous relationships save one, and he wasn’t going to think about the redheaded git he’d already gotten over thoroughly if his obsession with his brother-in-law was any indication.
Saeki stood still, hands at his side and blue eyes staring wide at the window on the other side of the large room he was barely inside of thanks to being almost against the door while pressed tightly against Bane. His laughter had stopped as had his babbling though he knew he had already said too much and likely left his friend in what possibly could have been a tougher spot than before. He knew Bane hadn’t wanted to call off the affair but agreed to it all the same because it was the right thing to do and given their online talk of just days earlier, Saeki was under the impression he was still desired just as much as he desired his friend so saying what he had said just now, though vague as it was since feelings were left unsaid, had to have played havoc on an already tormented mind.
Just like Bane’s confession did to his.
Slowly, slender arms wrapped around the bare form he was held tightly against and relaxed in the hold just a few years ago would have made him laugh if he was told Bane would be such a comfort and idol of passion. “But you can’t have me,” Saeki forced the words out on the softest of whispers, his voice shaky from the effort not to break down in tears of confusion and distress. “And I can’t have you,” he added a breath later noting how hard it was to continue playing the perfect younger brother by only thinking of his sister’s happiness even though a part of his mind-the part that always did the plotting, came up with devious ideas, and never followed the norm-was already playing the old angle of how no one had caught on before so why should it be any different now? They could continue seeing each other in the shadows for their explicit affair and still be best friends and brother-in-laws just as normal the rest of the time. Hadn’t they been doing that for two years anyway?
While revelling in the peace that one little hug gave him borne from some sort of physical contact that wasn’t them goofing around while playing with Keisuke with Rivalee watching on, Saeki let his grip lower until his hands rested just above the beginning of the curve indicating one perfect ass he had just minutes ago kicked . He wanted to push further and go for a grope and then dare even further by stopping all talk and stealing a kiss but he wasn’t sure if he could manage his usual boldness right then, not when he didn’t truly know Bane’s stance on things no matter what he said before.
“Doesn’t stop me from wanting you, nor does it stop you from wanting me, now does it?” Bane pointed out figuring he was being ruthlessly unhelpful in those moments. He could only blame the hands resting at the small of his back so dangerously close to an ass Saeki had, more than once, grabbed a hold of during sex to dig his fingers into toned flesh. It dragged his mind even further into the gutter it seemed to almost always stay in lately, left him thinking bold and wicked things involving the slender man he slowly guided backwards toward the bed, never missing a step in the miniscule waltz from his hotel room’s door. Bane only stopped when he felt the mattress hit the back of his knees, pausing just for a heart beat while he sought to reassure the brother before the lover he would have gladly dragged onto that flat soft surface to fuck blind.
“There’s lots of ways I can’t have you, mate. A million things I want to do that I can’t, because it’d be cheating,” suddenly, they were falling with just a tumble and a pull, Bane uncaring of how he set Saeki off kilter with his antics that would soon see them curled around each other in that bed snuggling close, if he had his way. “But it isn’t cheating to take comfort from my best friend.” Technically, he reckoned it could be termed as such considering how very naked he was, but as long as he kept his hands to himself and didn’t fondle or otherwise molest the sexy form he held onto with such an undying grip then he wasn’t really fucking around on his wife, nor was Saeki betraying his sister.
Rating: PG
Summary: Saeki goes to the hotel Bane is staying at to tell him it's time to go home and patch things up with his wife. The encounter doesn't go as planned and confessions are made.
Harukaze Kurobane was an idiot.
That was Kojirou Saeki’s thought when the little marriage turmoil started a few days ago and it was still his thought when he collected a change of clothes and some bathroom items from Bane’s home before continuing on to the hotel he had put his idiot friend up in for a night or possibly even two of sulking and thinking. What Saeki didn’t plan on was the extension of the sulking or just plain hiding the husband of his sister would do. What was the point of staying hidden away and ignoring any conversations to sort out the truth especially when the charming brother-in-law had talked with the upset pregnant wife to calm her down some? All Bane had to do was return home, possibly say he was sorry for not coming back sooner, and wait to hear what Rivalee had to say.
Seriously, what was so difficult with this when he hadn’t done anything wrong?
Saeki wondered how he would act if he was in his friend’s shoes. He could say all the things that should be done now but if he was in a relationship and accused of cheating when he hadn’t would he stay silent and let whatever was believed about him become the truth or would he try to explain things regardless of how obvious it should be? He had a feeling Bane’s current path would be one he walked as well but to a certain point. A quick explanation which would probably be more along the lines of a verbal spar would be had before stomping off in annoyance and hiding out somewhere until he was approached by the accusing party. Too bad his sister didn’t have any intentions of seeking out her absent husband she had wrongly-in this instance at least-accused. She wanted to talk and likely make up but she wasn’t one to do any grovelling or make such a first step. If Bane wanted her to talk, then Bane would have to be the one to come to her.
He never should have given his approval of the ridiculous marriage idea.
The awkwardness of having his best friend and older sister being married and having sex was one thing and the random fights that possibly wouldn’t happen if they had a proper courtship and knew each other was another, but if Saeki was being entirely honest with himself he’d know it was his own attraction to the oaf he’d known nearly forever. Why did their attraction and lust over each other come so late into knowing one another? He knew the answer without even having to think on it; Ryou and Davide. They had grown up with each other and when their small group of friends kept growing and introduced the redhead and then the ebony-haired quiet boy both of their attentions started to drift when relationships was something new to explore. A lot ended up happening between the four of them that left many broken hearts scattered behind though Saeki never really thought it had changed how any of them viewed each other.
When did the realization that he was physically attracted to Bane begin? That was a question that plagued Saeki often over the last two or three years and he still didn’t have a definite answer as he rode the elevator to the floor Bane’s suite was located on. Was it the unplanned sexual encounter that came out of the time he tried to terminate his friendship with the man he felt was making his life miserable just for sport and punishment? No; that was something Saeki never regretted and could still claim was a hot experience though maybe that was what started the new way of viewing the tall, muscular, and ruggedly sexy friend that lead to a night that never should have been. If that first time wasn’t the start of things, Saeki was willing to bet it was their night out for their birthday celebrating that had them too drunk to think properly where dancing led to a desire for more and a morning of waking up in a hotel room together promising the other to never tell Rivalee-the newly claimed fiancé of Bane. Somehow that one night of absolute pleasure started a pattern where sneaking off alone together saw them entwined and beginning an affair that was bound to hurt more people than just one glowing soon-to-be bride that later turned into the glowing wife.
Saeki had always been conscious of his actions with Bane and even some of his other lovers that he did in fact flaunt and date in public knowing how it would affect Ryou, his friend that had claimed a deep love of the flirtatious Aussie years ago. Hell, Saeki had to admit he loved Ryou as well and just before high school graduation he announced his feelings. That still wasn’t enough to keep them together though that was more due to their need to experience everything and having different paths of life at the time. So how could he claim to love Ryou yet not still be with the man? How could he be with Bane in secret with growing feelings that left him confused yet still worry about how Ryou and his sister would react to such a thing? Those were other questions Saeki pondered and dissected in his free time he tried to keep little of for that very reason. Ryou was his first love and he didn’t doubt the fact that he would always love the snarking artist but Bane was his current… attraction. Saying he loved Bane was something Saeki wasn’t prepared for thanks to his fear of the word and all it meant and brought around but the situation that spawned-or perhaps just awakened that which was already there-such emotions was too complicated for anything else to be tossed in.
He wasn’t going to think on any of that any further, Saeki reminded himself as he dug from his pocket the key card he had the front desk clerk make for him when he first rented the room for Bane. There had been a chance the highly drunken-at-the-time friend would try to keep up that state of numb bliss as long as he could or just refuse to answer the door and so Saeki had wanted his own way into the room and received it-he was paying for the room after all. It wasn’t like he was worried about walking in on Bane having sex with anyone when the man had announced the currently pink-haired best friend of his was the only one he would consider cheating with and hadn’t he seen Bane naked more than once before? So, with awkward and confusing thoughts shoved aside and an unneeded pat of reassurance that the bag full of Bane’s items was still on his shoulder, the key was swiped, the green light came on, and the handle was turned to allow the concerned friend admittance into a lavish room Saeki didn’t even have a chance to scan for signs of Bane.
There, before him as Saeki stood in the entry way with the door slipping of his hand and sliding shut behind him, stood Bane emerging from the bathroom that was steamed-not that cerulean eyes caught that fact at first as they were busy staring elsewhere, wide-eyed-with a towel slung low on hips to show the v-shaped definition of a perfectly toned abdomen that still had beads of water clinging to. Well shit, there went his iron will and confidence nothing he could walk in on would faze him. “Hey, mate,” he managed to casually toss out with a grin in what Saeki hoped was neither too short nor long in coming after the pause he had made; though moving from the spot he found himself planted to was still something he was working on-just as keeping any sexual comments and desires at bay was proving to be a challenge.
To say the happenings of late were maddening was an understatement as they had one Harukaze Kurobane steaming long after his front door had slammed in his face, his very pregnant wife having herded him straight out it seconds after she’d blown her stack during a discussion about an actress playing the lead role in a movie they were watching at the time of Rivalee’s explosion. His head might have been fuzzy still from a long night of drinking, a night he could vaguely remember coming to an end when his best friend and brother-in-law, Kojirou Saeki had hunted him down and dragged his staggering ass home. Bane had been, very unapologetically one might add, getting shitfaced at the time as he believed that there were certain times in a man’s life that nothing but the most expensive bottle of Scotch would do. One such time was in the hour of his learning that his wife believed he’d cheated on her. And although he might have done so before they were married and even on their wedding day, he knew he damn well had not been straying from her bed since learning of her pregnancy.
He and his secret lover-her very own brother and his best friend since early childhood-had long since mutually agreed, never again. Never again would he taste the heated passion those lips could incite. Now muttering a casual “Hey, mate,” they curled into a casual grin that Bane knew for the façade it was the minute it came out of hiding, even as he countered with a mimicry of Saeki’s greeting. He came to a stop there the hallway of the hotel room he could only guess had been procured for him the night before, probably by the same man standing some feet away from him all but eating him up with his gaze. The towering brunette with deep chocolate eyes felt the touch of that gaze all they way down to his soul, or so he fancied. Nobody, not even Saeki himself knew just how much he had missed the stolen moments they used to indulge in. Nobody but the man that glowered impressively at the intruder invading his sanctuary, despite his nearly nude state and the water that trickled over tanned flesh here and there, leaving a glisten trail for cerulean eyes to follow, before his uninvited guest tore his gaze away from the vicinity of hips barely covered in the flimsy shield of a damp towel.
It crossed Bane’s mind while he stood there under his friend’s visual inspection, and not for the first time as many a moment the night before had seen the same thought sneaking out of hiding, that he’d already been damned for the crime. And while he was sure his lovely wife though he was off bonking some woman or another, the truth was that if he was inclined to cheat then it would be this man whose bed he went crawling into and whose body he would get lost in, not some nameless Sheila picked up at a bar. Yes, he had thought it. He had even plotted out marching his drunk ass on over to Saeki’s and barging in to sweep the smaller man off his feet, only to drag him into a bedroom Bane knew had seen more company than his, especially the company of a certain raven-haired brat they all knew and loved. (Or knew and hated- when it came to Ryou Kisarazu it all depended.) Yet, despite his mental fantasy, a scorching hot one that had seen Bane through a date with his hand, he hadn’t so much as stepped foot toward his best friend’s house, not even while drunk off his arse and during moments in which the idea seemed like a ripper one.
He had promised not only the man whose blue eyes his sought out but also the wife that had tossed his ass to the curb the night before. Sure, he was tempted. Jesus, fuck, how tempted was he with Saeki in arm’s reach, that sexy little body so close to his that all it would take would be a few strides to eat up the distance to allow for some feasting of his own. He had promised Rivalee not long after she made her announcement revealing her pregnancy, on a morning during which her nausea had been at its worst, keeping her running for the bathroom every time a certain smell hit her. He had rushed to follow her, after about the forth trip that saw the contents of her stomach being emptied into their toilet, worried for her as much as he had been for the child she carried. It was his responsibility, a weight he carried and one he intended to see through. His responsibility and his right to see her properly cared for, protected, cherished and adored. He would probably never say he loved her, not in the manner she deserved to hear from her husband, but he would do everything to make sure that the rest of their lives went smoothly, insuring that she never had any reason to regret marrying him or carrying his child to term. The decision to cut off his sinful activities with Saeki was a hard one and although he had previously agreed with the blonde’s demand to be faithful once the truth was laid at his door and the up and coming birth revealed, it wasn’t really until that moment of time while he gently smoothed damp tresses from a sweaty forehead and held a trembling body against his that Bane cemented the pledge in his heart.
Now, though, his heart whispered to him speaking snidely of how little faith his wife had in him and how little Saeki must have had to believe for a single moment that he’d screwed around on them with anyone, but especially the hot redhead Bane once had been in love with. Now, he heard words of anger and silent rage strumming through his mind, unbidden urgings telling him that if he had been damned than he should at least enjoy the crime he was found guilty of. Except, he wasn’t all that certain the thoughts running through his mind would become a reality, even if his cock felt heavy and sensitized from the images already unfolding in his head, all of them involving Saeki shamelessly draped over a piece of furniture or another, taking his dick in a hard, ruthless fucking that would leave them both too wrung out to move, much less go again though he’d probably give it a fair go. “What brings you?” he murmured with a sharper bite than he intended, his fantasizes far too vivid for his liking. Anything that put him in danger of cheating on Rivalee again, especially at this moment in time, needed killing off quick. Now, if it were only that easy to convince his fucking body of that.
Saeki swore he didn't shift uncomfortably under that heated gaze that he couldn't tell was created from anger or lust. It had always been a challenge to read Bane and now was no different. It was likely anger, he decided, and with good reason given what his friend had been through in recent days from being tossed out by his wife, accused of cheating, and then drinking himself into a stupor. He was allowed to want to vent and lash out at someone though that didn't mean the pink-haired man controlling his gawking at a tanned body had to be that whipping boy. Hell no; not when he was the one who talked to the wife, hunted down the drunk husband, and then paid for a fancy room for Bane to hide in. "My Crossfire," he replied with heavy sarcasm dripping from his words that were a little sharper than one would have suspected given the smirk that still played on his lips.
Bantering with his friend held the possibility to pull his mind away from the body before him that was creating one fantasy after the other, each one hot and tempting yet not allowed to become anything more than brain candy. Not that standing there with such visual stimulation was helping that much. With determination, Saeki walked further into the room until he stood by the bed where he removed his bag and set it on the large king bed. "I also knew how much you were bound to miss me... or at least some of your own belongings like clothes and a toothbrush," he replied a little more evenly now though he could tell he was still being a tad snarky in his words but didn't care as he waved to the messenger bag for Bane to rifle through.
“The toothbrush, yes,” Bane silkily replied, taking offense at the sarcasm in Saeki’s tone even though he knew he had no right to with how snappish he had sounded when speaking to his brother-in-law moments prior. Honestly, it wasn’t this man that deserved his anger, and neither did his wife. Bane knew it, but being accused of something he was innocent of doing had a way of lighting his temper so that it smoldered for days. “But I haven’t concluded whether or not I miss the clothes, yet.”
He was bound to hell in the afterlife, would most likely be escorted right into its flaming depths by the devil himself, Bane swore silently to himself when his sulking grumpiness egged him into lowering a steady hand to his waist where strong fingers gave a tug to the cloth towel wrapped around his hips. Yeah, he was probably the biggest bastard that had ever lived to date, but fuck, he had suffered through barrage after barrage of guilt, loneliness, and heartache since being kicked out of his home. It was about damn time someone else suffered with him, and it suited his usual hidden streak of evil to make the source of part of his problem emotions ache as he had and was still doing. Which made the loss of his towel all that much easier to weather when it fell to the floor unhindered, leaving him very much naked and very unrepentant to those blue as the sea eyes.
"Aww so you don't miss... me..." Saeki's voice trailed off as he glanced over at his friend in time to watch the towel fall to the floor, leaving one very nude best friend for eyes of cerulean to take in. A whirlwind of emotions struck him then and Saeki wasn't sure which one to go with. His eyes, he knew, were always far too expressive and conveyed his emotions and thoughts with ease when his usual weapon of choice of words weren't being used to make the point perfectly clear. In that moment he also knew his eyes had to be sharpening with lust to make him the predator his friends always called him by but at the same time he wondered if the sadness he felt at knowing he couldn't touch what was being presented before him and how he felt like his feelings were being teased showed through.
It was pretty ridiculous of him to still want Bane all this time after the man had married Rivalee almost two years ago and was now expecting a child with her. It was his choice to end things with his friend but some days Saeki wondered why he wasn't being selfish and continuing with following his desires and seeking out the body that was now easily within reach. In the end, it was less complicated to allow himself to hurt than his sister, Ryou, and the families involved. Knowing that he still had his best friend after it all also helped. But now, that same best friend was being an ass by showing off what Saeki had and could have still had if he didn't try playing the role of the good little brother again and it was driving the pink-haired man insane.
Willing his thoughts away from memories of their sexual encounters of the past and the fantasies of what could be in the present on the bed he turned to again, Saeki busied himself with the bag. "Just one change of clothes. Jeans, the red shirt I know Riv likes you in, boxers, the toothbrush, some hair products..." he wouldn't let Bane throw him off his gesture of goodwill with bringing items to him and he wouldn't let Bane make him more miserable than he already was--though he knew the last part was already a lie and Saeki was tempted to kick that bare ass for his new suffering.
It showed and Bane was thankful for it, even as he derived some twisted sense of satisfaction from seeing the melancholy that mingled within lustful blue eyes. He was sick of feeling as if he suffered alone, even though he knew he was right where he was at in his life because of the choices he made. No one but he was at fault that each night he thought of not just his wife but the man across from him, sometimes, mostly the man across from him. The brown-eyed Australian wondered how close to infidelity it came to have such thoughts, to wish for something different he knew he couldn’t have, and damned himself even more for his selfish greed because if he ever acted on any of his thoughts or emotions his wife would pay a far dearer price than he. He owed some loyalty to Rivalee simply because of the title she held and even more for the child she carried, plus he just could not find it within himself to hurt the woman he adored just because he didn’t love her as much as he could now he acknowledge he loved her brother. “Not a bit.” Bane answered sulkily, his thoughts in such turmoil that he couldn’t hide the peevish tone coloring his words making him sound much like a sulking child instead of the adult that he was.
Fuck, he had to get over this. He was a man fully grown, and one certainly old enough to understand he couldn’t always have what he wanted. However, no matter his age he was still just childish enough to enjoy getting a dig in here and there, verbal and nonverbal; especially ones that would insure Saeki never forgot about him or found another to replace him in his life, even if they couldn’t be together. This probably explained exactly why he didn’t immediately head for that pile of clothing, but instead for the dresser backed against one wall and the comb that lay abandoned atop it. There was time enough to seek out those clothes, time enough to hide away the muscular body that he teased his brother-in-law with, but never a time for him to indulge the silent urgings of his mind that would see him hefting the other into his arms, only to throw him onto that bed and strip him bare, so he could enjoy the spoils of his capture.
Saeki didn’t have a clever or witty retort to what he hoped was just banter. What he hoped for and what he currently felt, however, were different matters entirely. Those words felt like a blow to his ego and feelings he had for the arrogant man strutting around the room that left the smaller Australian wondering why he was still there or why he came at all. He had agreed to Bane’s crazy idea to marry Rivalee and while he now regretted it, Saeki wasn’t going to let it fall apart because of a misunderstanding which was why he brought clothes for his friend and word about what had been happening since he went into his little mini-seclusion. Only, he didn’t have a chance to give that report and now didn’t really care to though he knew he would likely still mention something for his sister’s sake if nothing else.
“Right then, since you don’t miss me I must clearly be in your way so I’ll just be going now,” Saeki finally spoke to the back of Bane, resisting the temptation to kick the bare behind so prominently on display-and no doubt purposely done as well. He left his bag where it was on the bed, figuring he could at least continue his charade of caring best friend by leaving it to carry home any items the jerk stored up over his time in the hotel. As he walked passed Bane on his way to the door, he called the man a jackass under his breath, still tempted to give a swift kick to the guy that always enjoyed a good swift kick to the ass in their youth so long as he was the one giving them. Oh hell, who was he kidding? When he was far enough away, Saeki stopped, spun around, and with speed and agility sent a leg lifting in a slight roundhouse move that had the side of his shoed-foot connecting with a firm ass. With a pleased smirk at the contact that wasn’t overly hard but still above a little love tap, the pleased yet still miserable blue-eyed man returned to his quest of leaving.
It was the first time in his life that he’d ever been hit, so the shock he underwent right then shouldn’t have been present but it was. Bane tried to reason through it, telling himself that it was seldom that Saeki ever resorted to violence, and while he knew that the kick wasn’t meant to harm as it barely registered beyond a swift knock against his ass, he knew that for that particular friend to display and use such antics… well, then, Saeki had to be annoyed. Like his marching off didn’t get that point across well enough.
Growling, Bane shook himself out of his stupor and darted for the slender man just opening his door, one hand snaking out to grab for a slender wrist. “Damn it, just wait. Hold on!” he snarled, his frustration spiking. It was solely aimed at himself, because he had known his needling would eventually get to his best friend in ways that would either see them snapping at each other, or storming off. “Shit,” he muttered roughly as he jerked the smaller man around to face, brown eyes losing some of the spark that had brightened them in his earlier annoyance.
“I missed you, okay!”
“Fine, you missed me now how about your wife?” Saeki shot back, torn between continuing to be annoyed, continuing to be miserable, and pleased at his hold over Bane. He let go of the handle he still had a light hold on and focused on removing the strong hand from his wrist while working out in his head the scenarios that could happen between them right then. If the woman that gold band currently missing-a keen eye earlier had spotted it on the dresser by the comb-on the ring finger wrapped around his wrist represented wasn’t his sister or if there wasn’t a ring at all, things could have turned pretty damn hot. Saeki pictured himself pressing against the bare chest, hands wandering where they pleased while his mouth alternated between initiating kisses and demands they find the bed. But that was out of the question and something left to his fantasies and dreams to torture himself with at nights when he slept alone or let his mind wander to his friend before falling asleep.
Another scenario had them yelling during one of their random fights that liked to spring up on occasion thanks to both men being stubborn and the last saw them having a serious talk about how they ended up in such a mess and Saeki getting answers for his curiosity that left him wondering what the hell Bane had meant in those comments for days now. Since the first-and his personal favourite-idea was never going to happen it was going to be a toss up between the other scenarios and Saeki wasn’t going to know which one it was until he spoke. Preparing himself for both fighting and awkward conversation he took his initial statement a step further, “she misses you, Bane, and she’s sorry for what happened. Go home so she can tell you that herself.”
Bane faltered as the words drummed against his ears, reminding him of the woman he couldn’t forget even when he tried not to think about her. He wondered, if he had known in his youth the hold the Saeki clan would eventually have over him, would he have completely ignored the blue-eyed git in front of him? Possibly, found some other best friend to forge those bonds with that would tie them together for life, because, fuck, it wasn’t just Saeki that had his claws sunk deep into his hide, but Rivalee also.
Not likely, he thought as he dragged a hand roughly through damp brown locks that lay curling around his brow. It was rather funny, if you thought about it. He was married to the sister, more than halfway infatuated with her and her spunk, but… And there was always a but, wasn’t there? But he was more than just infatuated with the blue-eyed wanker he towered over. “Yeah,” he mumbled lowly, gaze shying from his best friend to seek out the bed and the shirt lying there. It was the color of blood, vibrantly red and fashionable to the core-a personal favorite of Rivalee’s. She loved to see him wear it, had stated as much more than once since the day she bought it for him. If it was here now, instead of a blue one or some other color that Saeki deemed worthy then his friend had taken time to choose something that would insure he thought about the woman they both cared for deeply enough to put a halt to what they shared when greedy want would have had them both indulging their insanity a little longer.
“I miss her too.” He finally admitted truthfully, remembering that were he home right then he’d probably be curled up on the couch with her by his side, listening to her recount some escapade or another, or complain jokingly about how he was the cause of her swollen ankles and fingers. The way he felt for both siblings was completely immoral every near standard of society. Yet, he couldn’t seem to turn it off within himself, no matter how many times he told himself it was wrong. Knowing this, was it right to return to his home and her, especially when he was still so angry over being kicked out over something he hadn’t done since his affair with Saeki had ended? Was it even through? Could it ever be over when he didn’t want it to be over?
God, what a fucking mess he was, but mess or not he was still man enough to keep his word. He had called it off with Saeki and promised to never cheat again, which he hadn’t done. If he were going to cheat it would be with the man he stood before bare-assed naked without a care to his lack of clothing or how most would be shocked by his nudity. He sure as hell wouldn’t be cheating with some skank he ran into at a fucking bar! He wouldn’t take another woman to bed when the one he was married to came close to being a fucking goddess in his eyes. And he knew that his way of thinking was wrong, that most people wouldn’t see a difference in who he cheated with, just that he cheated and that would be the bottom line. But to him there was a huge difference as he thought it would be a major insult to his woman to take another woman to his bed, not so much an insult when it was Saeki. Firstly, Saeki wasn’t another woman for Rivalee to wonder what her allure was and in what ways she was flawed compared to the female he’d chosen to cheat with, and secondly, it was her brother. Not that that made it any better, but there was just something in knowing it was him and not someone unrelated or a complete stranger he’d met on a whim, but someone he’d known most of his life.
“I miss her too,” Bane suddenly repeated on a breath of air that shook his shoulders with the force of his exhalation, his thoughts thrown to a halt by sheer force of will. He’d grown accustom to rearing them in when he came close to admitting the unspeakable to himself or anyone, so it wasn’t such a hardship to hide it one more time when he lifted brown eyes to blue, revealing the deep-seated misery clouding his gaze. “But I don’t think I can go home right now. It wouldn’t do Riv any good for her husband to come home with his temper ready to snap, not in her condition.” Yeah, maybe he was treating his wife like she was made of glass, but he didn’t want to step through the door and snap her head off the minute she brought the conversation around to her suspicions. Nothing would be accomplished with that, other than to leave her in tears. And maybe he just wanted a little time to regroup, to rein his emotions in, before she caught wind of his feelings for her sibling because sure as hell he was far too close to showing how he felt right then.
“I heard you the first time,” Saeki mumbled in annoyance at hearing that Bane did miss his wife. He was happy, of course, since it helped to keep his mind believing that the marriage was the right thing for everyone but it sort of hurt to hear it over and over when he knew Bane missed him as well and had an attraction to him. He was starting to get annoyed with that back and forth habit he had picked up somewhere and decided blaming Ryou was a good idea. Ryou was the one that had started the confusion thing on him years ago when Saeki couldn’t make up his mind about liking the man, wanting to date him, wanting his freedom, loving the man, wanting his freedom. It was a vicious cycle that sort of worked for them when they weren’t in their fighting portion of it which they currently, thankfully, weren’t though he could only imagine the yelling or at least the pain in stormy grey eyes the truth with Bane coming out would cause.
It was best not to think about that or the confusion he had over Ryou, Bane, and sometimes even Kajimoto as defining relationships with any of them would give just about any sane person a headache before his tales of just one of his mates ended. Hell, explaining his flirtatious nature and physical relationships with anyone he fancied enough would leave people wondering how he functioned at all and managed to fall for his two closest friends. Again Saeki realized he was still thinking about things he knew he shouldn’t be thinking about in the presence of Bane in general but especially while trying to sort things out so he could go home to his wife but his mind kept wandering there in the silence that fell between them as they both took to looking everywhere but at each other.
“This is pretty bloody ridiculous, mate,” he blurted out seconds or minutes later, “No, I think I’ll actually just go with calling this fucked up.” Saeki gave Bane a small smile knowing his swearing would shock his friend that liked to tease him for his proper manners but it fit. They had feelings for each other no matter how late in the game they were discovered and then understood but one was married to the other’s sister though they had still continued their secret affair until recently. Now they were locked in a hotel room together with one naked and still entirely too close for Saeki’s sanity and reason to continue staying in charge as he thought about how he’d love to be backed up against the door and kissed while hands worked to remove his clothing all while they talked about his pregnant sister.
Without meaning to Saeki started to laugh; a soft low laugh but still one all the same. “Insanity! I’m definitely suffering from insanity. I’m here to get you to go home to your wife, my sister, that’s carrying your child, my niece or nephew, yet all I want to do is jump you and kiss you until we’re breathless. And I’d do it, too, and you know I would and have probably seen me do it not only with you but anyone I fancy enough to earn such attention but it’s Riv! So that didn’t stop us before but she’s pregnant!” He was babbling now, which was normally a telltale sign of his nervousness but right then it represented something closer to hysterics. Saeki decided it was better to laugh and be seen as a raving loon by his friend that had seen all his sides and emotions over the years than to break down and cry or whine about what he wanted. It probably wasn’t fair to let Bane know he was still wanted and thought about far too often but the blue-eyed Aussie that had sometime during his spiel stopped staring at hands or the wall to find the taller man’s face couldn’t stop the words that started to feel more like a release.
“Yeah, it’s Riv and she’s pregnant.” Bane agreed through the alarm that was starting to rise, his gaze caught and held by the blue-eyed man that didn’t seem too far off from laughing like a loon, if his babbling was any indication of how close Saeki was to actually being as insane as he claimed he was. Nothing in his life had ever prepared him for moments like these, moments where he had to make choices, hard fucking choices about what he should do and the best course of action to take, so the minute he understood exactly what he should be doing left him feeling about as low as a worm. It completely contradicted his previous vows, because he’d been telling himself for months to keep his hands off his best friend. So what did he do the minute it looked like Saeki needed physical comfort?
He once again ignored the fact that he was completely nude, reached for the babbling Aussie, and drew him into a tight hug that plastered that smaller body against his. “But I still want you.” He thought needed was probably a better word for the hunger that lay just below the surface as he dipped his head to burrow into the curve of Saeki’s neck, brow nestling as if it were made to fit right into that tiny crook he found to rest it against. Because he certainly hadn’t gone through this much hell with his feelings in previous relationships save one, and he wasn’t going to think about the redheaded git he’d already gotten over thoroughly if his obsession with his brother-in-law was any indication.
Saeki stood still, hands at his side and blue eyes staring wide at the window on the other side of the large room he was barely inside of thanks to being almost against the door while pressed tightly against Bane. His laughter had stopped as had his babbling though he knew he had already said too much and likely left his friend in what possibly could have been a tougher spot than before. He knew Bane hadn’t wanted to call off the affair but agreed to it all the same because it was the right thing to do and given their online talk of just days earlier, Saeki was under the impression he was still desired just as much as he desired his friend so saying what he had said just now, though vague as it was since feelings were left unsaid, had to have played havoc on an already tormented mind.
Just like Bane’s confession did to his.
Slowly, slender arms wrapped around the bare form he was held tightly against and relaxed in the hold just a few years ago would have made him laugh if he was told Bane would be such a comfort and idol of passion. “But you can’t have me,” Saeki forced the words out on the softest of whispers, his voice shaky from the effort not to break down in tears of confusion and distress. “And I can’t have you,” he added a breath later noting how hard it was to continue playing the perfect younger brother by only thinking of his sister’s happiness even though a part of his mind-the part that always did the plotting, came up with devious ideas, and never followed the norm-was already playing the old angle of how no one had caught on before so why should it be any different now? They could continue seeing each other in the shadows for their explicit affair and still be best friends and brother-in-laws just as normal the rest of the time. Hadn’t they been doing that for two years anyway?
While revelling in the peace that one little hug gave him borne from some sort of physical contact that wasn’t them goofing around while playing with Keisuke with Rivalee watching on, Saeki let his grip lower until his hands rested just above the beginning of the curve indicating one perfect ass he had just minutes ago kicked . He wanted to push further and go for a grope and then dare even further by stopping all talk and stealing a kiss but he wasn’t sure if he could manage his usual boldness right then, not when he didn’t truly know Bane’s stance on things no matter what he said before.
“Doesn’t stop me from wanting you, nor does it stop you from wanting me, now does it?” Bane pointed out figuring he was being ruthlessly unhelpful in those moments. He could only blame the hands resting at the small of his back so dangerously close to an ass Saeki had, more than once, grabbed a hold of during sex to dig his fingers into toned flesh. It dragged his mind even further into the gutter it seemed to almost always stay in lately, left him thinking bold and wicked things involving the slender man he slowly guided backwards toward the bed, never missing a step in the miniscule waltz from his hotel room’s door. Bane only stopped when he felt the mattress hit the back of his knees, pausing just for a heart beat while he sought to reassure the brother before the lover he would have gladly dragged onto that flat soft surface to fuck blind.
“There’s lots of ways I can’t have you, mate. A million things I want to do that I can’t, because it’d be cheating,” suddenly, they were falling with just a tumble and a pull, Bane uncaring of how he set Saeki off kilter with his antics that would soon see them curled around each other in that bed snuggling close, if he had his way. “But it isn’t cheating to take comfort from my best friend.” Technically, he reckoned it could be termed as such considering how very naked he was, but as long as he kept his hands to himself and didn’t fondle or otherwise molest the sexy form he held onto with such an undying grip then he wasn’t really fucking around on his wife, nor was Saeki betraying his sister.