(Untitled)

[princess_charm]

my college essay, it's tentaitve, but my dad says it is "quite good"

The bullet is as long as two of the joints in my finger. It was spray-painted neon orange, some of the paint has come off in my pocket; still, there are patches of orange left. I’d never seen a real bullet before this one, I don’t know what kind of gun it’s for, and I don’t care

Comments

[anonymous]

Well, it's not horrible. It's alright, but it's not really good enough to be a college essay. It definately needs some work. Don't get me wrong, it has potential, it just needs a lot of work. This is definately not good enough for a college essay though. It's too poorly put together to be considered "quite good" to a college review board. Maybe by the time you graduate high school, assuming you haven't already, you will be able to write something much better for a college essay. No offense!