Doors closing, doors opening

Nov 19, 2011 16:19



A little Leslie and Ben point of view on The Smallest Park. Not beta'd - hope you enjoy.

As he’s getting up from the bench and walking away, she suddenly knows she can open a different door. One that she’d been ignoring out of the corner of her eye for days, weeks, months.

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fanfic, parks and recreation, leslie/ben, fan fiction, fiction

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Comments 16

rikyl November 20 2011, 01:09:47 UTC
It’s just... it’s really like the door would close and she’d be in an empty hallway with nowhere to go. She can’t envision what’s next, after this conversation. Because nothing’s next. That’s the point, right?

Awww. I really like that description, and sudden appearance of door no. 2 at the crucial moment. Thank you for writing this!

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princess_george November 20 2011, 02:10:12 UTC
So how did that whole construct compare with what you think actually happened? I did some rewinding to see if I really thought that's what was going on, and I felt comfortable with it, but there are a few ways to interpret it, for sure!

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rikyl November 20 2011, 23:19:29 UTC
Yeah, I think so, it does seem like she has a sudden epiphany right there, that there is another option/door. I think it works.

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halo_221 November 20 2011, 06:30:53 UTC
This was lovely! I especially feel like you hit Leslie's POV dead on! Her thoughts even sounded like her. I especially loved:
"She knows she steamrolls people. Or bulldozes them. Whatever." I can just hear her saying that.

Really well done!

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princess_george November 21 2011, 03:48:31 UTC
Thanks! I don't often think in her POV but I felt like I knew what she might have been thinking...

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beetsbearsbsg November 20 2011, 07:30:29 UTC

... )

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princess_george November 21 2011, 03:48:47 UTC
Hee. Thanks!

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americnxidiot November 20 2011, 11:56:10 UTC
He’s getting what he asked for, and they’ve made their peace, but it’s the hollowest victory he could ever imagine.

Oh you did such a good job with both of their POVs here. They're both just so sad, and then it switches to hope so suddenly. This is just very pretty.

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princess_george November 21 2011, 03:49:29 UTC
Thanks! I really felt like Ben would feel so beaten up when he got up from that bench...

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americnxidiot November 21 2011, 20:22:39 UTC
He looked it. Poor Ben. At least he got to make out with Leslie right after that.

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sassynach December 7 2011, 05:20:20 UTC
How do I feel?

I feel like I never want to see you look so scared again.

I feel like kissing you is the most important thing I can possibly do.

I feel like doing this forever.

Ugh. So perfectly Ben.

Also, I like this: As he gets up from the bench, he feels exhausted, aching. He’s getting what he asked for, and they’ve made their peace, but it’s the hollowest victory he could ever imagine.
I wasn't about to put it into words, but "hollow" is absolute right. :(

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princess_george December 7 2011, 17:19:42 UTC
Thanks for the comment! And, yeah, hollow.

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sassynach December 7 2011, 22:10:33 UTC
Oops, I meant "I wasn't ABLE to put it into words..." Apparently I can't type and think at the same time either. ;)

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princess_george December 7 2011, 22:31:41 UTC
Eh, I knew what you meant!

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