Money: Why?
I had a good money thing happen.
Well, its relativly speaking...but it always makes me wonder
I mean, when you get some, you always want more. And when you don't have anything, everything seems so much more fucking difficult.
So today, I got a refund from my school, just the dividend of what I didn't use of my student loan last year. WEE go me, right? its 1800 dollars a month before christmas. Happy Christmas! Also, I have a little savings saved up untouchable that I am willing to concider touching of 700. (My work refunds classes to the tune of 700 dollars and I got my final A about a month back...which I haven't turned in. I can turn it in at any time, but once I do, it becomes touchable...)
But there are THINGS. this 1800 dollars could make christmas so wonderful. I have been asking for a laptop for five years now, we could easily get a really good scratch & dent for about 600. Fill our oil tank to the brim for 400, which would last us two months, if not more. Concider a new Dryer for 200. Oh! And that kitchen table we both wanted for 400. With taxes that's the 1800 dollars...
But what about christmas presents? Well anna's getting a telescope and a star projector for christmas as her 'big gifts' which actually will only amount to about 75 total. We don't want to upgrade on either, because she's three...any telescope we get her now, its a good chance we'll need to replace in a couple years, so there's no bad feeling there. Technically the laptop would be my christmas present, but then william...well what do I get him? beyond the fact he is a PAIN IN THE ASS to shop for, I had an idea of taking all his movie posters and framing them, which will probably run me inside my inital christmas budget of a couple-hundred dollars. I have a couple of small things tucked away and the like, so really with or without 1800, our christmas will be good.
But there are larger things to concider as well. Technically, the 1800 is only a loan, I could be smart and not touch the money, turn around and send it right back to the loan company to cut my loan in half. AND I would be able to write it off at the end of the year. But it is an 1800 dollar loan, which with our credit, we'd never be able to get if something bad happend and we needed cash.
Also, with the baby coming, 1800 dollars would buy nine weeks worth of daycare when I go back to work. (yeah, barely two months). My mother dosn't think that I should have another baby shower (since its my second) but its my husband's first baby, and the only baby in his generation on his side, so his mother may throw me one. So 1800 dollars would be a crib, a second carseat, and babyclothes (That reminds me...anyone up for doing a clothes-sorting day with me? I have 15 bags of girls' baby clothes, that i need to pick through for gender neutral goodness, and send the rest off on freecycle).
But wait, there's more. In January I finally have the oppertunity to get my teeth fixed after three years of embarassment. To the tune of 1400 dollars (800 and 600 dollar incriments over two appointments). My car? might last another six more months if I'm lucky. 1800 dollars plus a special Kia is running until the end of the year (Garenteed 5,000 trade in value) would be half of a good new car for me- something I've never actually owned. (unless you count the two nissans eric & I had)
I also sort of think we should talk to my husbands bank about taking 1,000 of it, putting it in a CD, and then borrowing 1,000 dollars against the CD to improve our credit. We'd end up probably getting 3% interest on a 1-year CD, and being charged 5% interest on the loan, which means we'll end up paying something in the neighborhood of 30- 50 dollars to improve our credit by about 20 points with a postive lending history, which is huge right now if we are going to buy in our five-year plan.
To top this all off, I feel guilty about even thinking about this. There are people that I personally know in worse situations. That litterally are broke and my first instinct is to fix it. But the point of this whole thing is this: Why is it when you get a little bit of breathing room, you realise how little you can actually breathe? Yes, 90% of the above statements are wants, not needs. I don't NEED a laptop. For 100 dollars I can probably add more RAM to my computer and deal for another year or two. We had asked our relatives for money toward our kitchen table for christmas instead of gifts for us. We could fill our oil tank with one of william's paychecks and still be alright for the week, but we'd have tight eyes on our budget. I could keep eyeing craigslist and freecycle for a working electric dryer. The student loan will eventually be paid off, even if I'm paying until I'm 50. Daycare- my work has a flexiable savings plan that I can start putting money into that will help alleviate the crazy bills we will be seeing weekly for it, and I can concider applying for sliding scale, since our family size just raised by one again...or even just finding a lower-cost center. The one anna goes too is one that is SO good for her (Private Preschool, run by a woman who used to be a preschool teacher) but is also very, very expensive. My teeth I knew I'd be paying for, jan & feb would just be tight until taxes came in, which would then help with a down payment for a car if I needed it at the time.
things aren't bad, I just found the whole business of money dirty, disgusting and depressing.
Ciao for now
Erica
Well, its relativly speaking...but it always makes me wonder
I mean, when you get some, you always want more. And when you don't have anything, everything seems so much more fucking difficult.
So today, I got a refund from my school, just the dividend of what I didn't use of my student loan last year. WEE go me, right? its 1800 dollars a month before christmas. Happy Christmas! Also, I have a little savings saved up untouchable that I am willing to concider touching of 700. (My work refunds classes to the tune of 700 dollars and I got my final A about a month back...which I haven't turned in. I can turn it in at any time, but once I do, it becomes touchable...)
But there are THINGS. this 1800 dollars could make christmas so wonderful. I have been asking for a laptop for five years now, we could easily get a really good scratch & dent for about 600. Fill our oil tank to the brim for 400, which would last us two months, if not more. Concider a new Dryer for 200. Oh! And that kitchen table we both wanted for 400. With taxes that's the 1800 dollars...
But what about christmas presents? Well anna's getting a telescope and a star projector for christmas as her 'big gifts' which actually will only amount to about 75 total. We don't want to upgrade on either, because she's three...any telescope we get her now, its a good chance we'll need to replace in a couple years, so there's no bad feeling there. Technically the laptop would be my christmas present, but then william...well what do I get him? beyond the fact he is a PAIN IN THE ASS to shop for, I had an idea of taking all his movie posters and framing them, which will probably run me inside my inital christmas budget of a couple-hundred dollars. I have a couple of small things tucked away and the like, so really with or without 1800, our christmas will be good.
But there are larger things to concider as well. Technically, the 1800 is only a loan, I could be smart and not touch the money, turn around and send it right back to the loan company to cut my loan in half. AND I would be able to write it off at the end of the year. But it is an 1800 dollar loan, which with our credit, we'd never be able to get if something bad happend and we needed cash.
Also, with the baby coming, 1800 dollars would buy nine weeks worth of daycare when I go back to work. (yeah, barely two months). My mother dosn't think that I should have another baby shower (since its my second) but its my husband's first baby, and the only baby in his generation on his side, so his mother may throw me one. So 1800 dollars would be a crib, a second carseat, and babyclothes (That reminds me...anyone up for doing a clothes-sorting day with me? I have 15 bags of girls' baby clothes, that i need to pick through for gender neutral goodness, and send the rest off on freecycle).
But wait, there's more. In January I finally have the oppertunity to get my teeth fixed after three years of embarassment. To the tune of 1400 dollars (800 and 600 dollar incriments over two appointments). My car? might last another six more months if I'm lucky. 1800 dollars plus a special Kia is running until the end of the year (Garenteed 5,000 trade in value) would be half of a good new car for me- something I've never actually owned. (unless you count the two nissans eric & I had)
I also sort of think we should talk to my husbands bank about taking 1,000 of it, putting it in a CD, and then borrowing 1,000 dollars against the CD to improve our credit. We'd end up probably getting 3% interest on a 1-year CD, and being charged 5% interest on the loan, which means we'll end up paying something in the neighborhood of 30- 50 dollars to improve our credit by about 20 points with a postive lending history, which is huge right now if we are going to buy in our five-year plan.
To top this all off, I feel guilty about even thinking about this. There are people that I personally know in worse situations. That litterally are broke and my first instinct is to fix it. But the point of this whole thing is this: Why is it when you get a little bit of breathing room, you realise how little you can actually breathe? Yes, 90% of the above statements are wants, not needs. I don't NEED a laptop. For 100 dollars I can probably add more RAM to my computer and deal for another year or two. We had asked our relatives for money toward our kitchen table for christmas instead of gifts for us. We could fill our oil tank with one of william's paychecks and still be alright for the week, but we'd have tight eyes on our budget. I could keep eyeing craigslist and freecycle for a working electric dryer. The student loan will eventually be paid off, even if I'm paying until I'm 50. Daycare- my work has a flexiable savings plan that I can start putting money into that will help alleviate the crazy bills we will be seeing weekly for it, and I can concider applying for sliding scale, since our family size just raised by one again...or even just finding a lower-cost center. The one anna goes too is one that is SO good for her (Private Preschool, run by a woman who used to be a preschool teacher) but is also very, very expensive. My teeth I knew I'd be paying for, jan & feb would just be tight until taxes came in, which would then help with a down payment for a car if I needed it at the time.
things aren't bad, I just found the whole business of money dirty, disgusting and depressing.
Ciao for now
Erica