Your voices are spot on and your drugged writing is so funny. The Sean Connery voice nearly made me laugh out loud and that would've made my poor, ill, sleeping roommie mad. :(
Now, because I love you and because you asked for it, I'm going to give you some concrit. Ready?
You switch povs without warning. Don't do that okay? It's disruptive of the narrative flow and it makes me very confused. First we're in Vince's head, then we're in E's and I have no idea how we got from one to the other. You're very good and I think if you're careful you can fix this. Look, if you want to shoot me your stuff before you post it - I can usually catch stuff like that (grammar, no, voice? Yes.) So, lemme know okay? :D Cheer
Hey, don't ever feel about giving out concrit! I would actually prefer it, most of the time. I love seeing areas where I can improve. Especially since, when I write, I go off into my own little world, and it's nice to figure out if this shit makes sense to anybody but me XDD
On that note, thank you for pointing that out. I have a natural tendency to drift into E's head when I'm writing fic, I'm finding - maybe because he's so much more sure of himself in this relationship shit. Vince has no fucking clue what he's doing.
Thank you muchly for the comment! And, actually, I would love to get some advice on fics before I shoot them off into here. As someone who's entirely unsure of her writing, I like seeing areas I can improve, where I'm writing awkwardly, etc. And I've faved quite a few of your fics myself, I like your stuff a lot, so this is a big compliment, getting this from you!
No problem dude. You've got a really fresh voice and there's no such thing as too many new writers in this fandom. Plus, mushrooms was my prompt and I'm just so happy someone wrote it!
XD It was quite the coincidence. I actually just finished all of the show - marathoned all of S5 in one night with my friend - and we had been talking about a plot involving mushrooms, and then, bam, I see that. It was calling to me :P
"E who's still awake, still sitting cross-legged in his seat, quiet and full of peace and staring at a smattering of M&M's left on the table."
ah, this is such a perfect image of E after this ep!
"short and sweet and there's no teeth but Vince feels warm, at home." that ride home from joshua in the winnebago gave ME that feeling too- this warm, at peace, contented feeling of love between the boys. except, of course, for Ari. ha. but E and vince (having confessed their love for each other ;) ) are all peaceful and lovely.
this is wonderful and hot and adorable. and "Okay!" made me giggle. vince, you enthusiastic little puppy, you! :]
God, I could not stop gigglefitting over E in this episode. He was just so hysterical, sitting around all :) the whole time. And how he was the only one who understood Vince's psychobabble, and Vince was the only one who totally got that E's mouth wouldn't talk. Cripes, these boys XD
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Now, because I love you and because you asked for it, I'm going to give you some concrit. Ready?
You switch povs without warning. Don't do that okay? It's disruptive of the narrative flow and it makes me very confused. First we're in Vince's head, then we're in E's and I have no idea how we got from one to the other. You're very good and I think if you're careful you can fix this. Look, if you want to shoot me your stuff before you post it - I can usually catch stuff like that (grammar, no, voice? Yes.) So, lemme know okay? :D Cheer
Reply
On that note, thank you for pointing that out. I have a natural tendency to drift into E's head when I'm writing fic, I'm finding - maybe because he's so much more sure of himself in this relationship shit. Vince has no fucking clue what he's doing.
Thank you muchly for the comment! And, actually, I would love to get some advice on fics before I shoot them off into here. As someone who's entirely unsure of her writing, I like seeing areas I can improve, where I'm writing awkwardly, etc. And I've faved quite a few of your fics myself, I like your stuff a lot, so this is a big compliment, getting this from you!
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ah, this is such a perfect image of E after this ep!
"short and sweet and there's no teeth but Vince feels warm, at home."
that ride home from joshua in the winnebago gave ME that feeling too- this warm, at peace, contented feeling of love between the boys. except, of course, for Ari. ha. but E and vince (having confessed their love for each other ;) ) are all peaceful and lovely.
this is wonderful and hot and adorable. and "Okay!" made me giggle. vince, you enthusiastic little puppy, you! :]
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Thank you so much for the comment <333
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