Spawn version 2.0 photos.
So I figure that since my new spawn has been around for almost two weeks now, I should get off my ass and post some pictures.
1. Anyone who claims that giving birth is the most beautiful and wonderful thing they have ever experienced is a) on crack, b) living in an alternate universe populated by unicorns or c)your mom who is desperate for more grandchildren and thus willing to lie to you. In reality it's undignified, exhausting and if the epidural wears off too early, really freaking painful.
2. Braxton-Hicks contractions are sent by Satan to torture pregnant women. There is something so horribly mean about having painful contractions for four or five hours only to have them stop leaving you exhausted and knowing that you're going to have to start over again.
3. After seven failed attempts at them trying to put me on an IV, I've come to accept the fact that I'll never be able to do any drugs that require easy access to my veins for shooting up. It's almost two weeks later and my arms are still covered in bruises from where they jabbed me over and over. On the plus side, the contractions I was having were so painful that getting stabbed in the arms repeatedly by panicked and guilty looking nurses at least gave me a different kind of pain to focus on for awhile.
4. It is really freaking awesome to have 90% of my body back to myself. My bladder is especially happy about this.
5. When you are a four and a half year old boy, the word "underwear" is the FUNNIEST THING EVER. It is so funny, in fact, that you must chant the word over and over and over again to your mother who has been up all night nursing your sister until she understands why lions sometimes eat their young.
6. I think it's going to take another four years before I consider doing this again.
7. I'm now addicted to the show "The Deadliest Catch." II think when I grow up, I want to go fish crab on the Bering Sea. It's got to be better than working in a cubicle anyway. (I think it might be a sign that I've been watching too much tv.)
And now, some pictures. At least she's cute.
Meet Ivy. Despite the horrible pregnancy and the general awfulness of the birth process, we're pretty happy that she's here. If only we could figure out who the hell in our family she looks like, because at the moment, we're kind of stumped.
Ivy owns a ton of pink clothes. More than I thought was humanly possible. Much of this is due to my aunt who sent an enormous package with like 20 brand new pink outfits.
One of the few exceptions to the pinkness that has suddenly invaded our lives is this awesome onesie sent by kosiah. It's such relief to have at least one outfit that's not pink. I think she looks pretty kickass here.
When Ivy gets older, she'd better not be pulling this maneuver for local law enforcement, especially after all the effort it took to give birth to her. (Yes I plan on using that guilt to manipulate my children for the rest of their lives.)
This is what she looks like at three in the afternoon...
... and this is what she looks like at three in the morning.
Something tells me that she's already got life all figured out.
1. Anyone who claims that giving birth is the most beautiful and wonderful thing they have ever experienced is a) on crack, b) living in an alternate universe populated by unicorns or c)your mom who is desperate for more grandchildren and thus willing to lie to you. In reality it's undignified, exhausting and if the epidural wears off too early, really freaking painful.
2. Braxton-Hicks contractions are sent by Satan to torture pregnant women. There is something so horribly mean about having painful contractions for four or five hours only to have them stop leaving you exhausted and knowing that you're going to have to start over again.
3. After seven failed attempts at them trying to put me on an IV, I've come to accept the fact that I'll never be able to do any drugs that require easy access to my veins for shooting up. It's almost two weeks later and my arms are still covered in bruises from where they jabbed me over and over. On the plus side, the contractions I was having were so painful that getting stabbed in the arms repeatedly by panicked and guilty looking nurses at least gave me a different kind of pain to focus on for awhile.
4. It is really freaking awesome to have 90% of my body back to myself. My bladder is especially happy about this.
5. When you are a four and a half year old boy, the word "underwear" is the FUNNIEST THING EVER. It is so funny, in fact, that you must chant the word over and over and over again to your mother who has been up all night nursing your sister until she understands why lions sometimes eat their young.
6. I think it's going to take another four years before I consider doing this again.
7. I'm now addicted to the show "The Deadliest Catch." II think when I grow up, I want to go fish crab on the Bering Sea. It's got to be better than working in a cubicle anyway. (I think it might be a sign that I've been watching too much tv.)
And now, some pictures. At least she's cute.
Meet Ivy. Despite the horrible pregnancy and the general awfulness of the birth process, we're pretty happy that she's here. If only we could figure out who the hell in our family she looks like, because at the moment, we're kind of stumped.
Ivy owns a ton of pink clothes. More than I thought was humanly possible. Much of this is due to my aunt who sent an enormous package with like 20 brand new pink outfits.
One of the few exceptions to the pinkness that has suddenly invaded our lives is this awesome onesie sent by kosiah. It's such relief to have at least one outfit that's not pink. I think she looks pretty kickass here.
When Ivy gets older, she'd better not be pulling this maneuver for local law enforcement, especially after all the effort it took to give birth to her. (Yes I plan on using that guilt to manipulate my children for the rest of their lives.)
This is what she looks like at three in the afternoon...
... and this is what she looks like at three in the morning.
Something tells me that she's already got life all figured out.
