Ficlet: Abra Cadaver (50ficlets)
Title: Abra Cadaver
Author: jack_infinitude
Claim: NCIS - Timothy McGee
Prompt: #43 - myth
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 952 words.
Summary: McGee has an unusual meeting with one of his ancestors.
Notes/Warnings: Crossover with Hocus Pocus -- specifically, my upcoming fic in that fandom. Beware the Thackery/OFC undertones.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute -- back up.” McGee rubbed at his eyes with one hand. It was a very cold Saturday, early in the morning, and he really didn’t want any bullshit today. “Is this a joke? Did Tony put you up to this? I mean, I enjoy a good prank, but this is kind of --”
“Cretin,” Thackery hissed, black fur standing straight up on his back. “This is my last descendent?! Jennifer! I will not stand for this foolish-- hurk!”
Jennifer glared at Thackery and pulled on his collar again just for good measure. “Don’t be rude,” she admonished sternly. “I didn’t take it nearly as well when I first met you.”
Thackery pulled himself free of her grasp and stalked to the edge of their small café table, muttering something about her being ‘special.’ McGee, still trying to take in the fact that there was a talking cat sitting less than half a foot away from his elbow, just shook his head.
“Wish I had some fur,” he muttered, bringing his coat up higher around his long neck. Outdoor seats? Really not what they were cracked up to be.
“I’m sorry he’s so…grouchy,” Jennifer said. “He’s nervous; he doesn’t know what the witches will do next.”
Tim closed his eyes. “Let me get this straight. Way back in the 1600s…”
“1693!”
“Yeah, okay, whatever, talking cat…that I’m somehow related to…so, back in the day, Puss in Boots was a human boy --”
“I was a man by anyone’s reckoning,” Thackery spat.
McGee continued as if he hadn’t said anything. “-- and he woke up one day to find that his sister was gone. So, instead of searching for her in the village like a normal person, he automatically assumed she had been captured by…witches…and I use that term loosely….”
“My instincts have never failed me before,” the cat interrupted. His tail was flicking back and forth, and Tim began to worry about the positioning of his coffee.
“Yeah, your instincts have never failed -- which is why you’ve come to me.”
“Hmph.”
“You two really are related.” Jennifer muttered.
“Anyway, he starts snooping around in the forest, finds the witches sacrificing his sister and…gets turned into a cat? Seriously, even if I bought the rest, a cat? Why didn’t they just kill you?”
“They wanted me to suffer,” Thackery replied. He stood suddenly and in a trice had draped himself on Jennifer’s shoulders. “I called them ugly. I couldn’t stop them from murdering my sister. They wanted to…” He fell silent.
It was hard to read a cat’s face, but McGee tried anyway. Thackery stared back at him impassively from Jennifer’s shoulders, with only his flicking tail giving tell of his temperament.
“We need your help,” Jennifer said softly.
“What could I do?” he asked helplessly. “I’m a federal agent, not a -- a wizard, or a sorcerer, or a curse-breaker.”
“You misunderstand,” Thackery replied. “We’re not looking for someone to help me. My condition is far from desirable, but it is not intolerable.”
“We’re trying to stop the witches,” Jennifer clarified. “We know they’ve been kidnapping children all across the country, but they’re moving too fast for us for to track. So we need you.”
“Missing child reports can’t be sorted that way. Plenty of people try to lure children away, it’s a really common factor -- look, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to help you. I mean, if one of those kids that were kidnapped was the son or daughter of a Navy officer, then maybe I could help. But this….”
“We need to find out who they take,” Thackery replied harshly. “It’s too late for the ones they’ve already killed, don’t you see that? The best we can do for them is killing the witches so their souls can be free. We need to know where they’ll strike next.”
“You can’t tell me that you don’t know what they look for, and expect me to pull a miracle out of my ass! For all we know, they’re just picking them up off the street! I’m not unwilling, okay? I have a little sister too, I know what it’s like when she’s in danger and there’s nothing I can do to help her!” Tim let out a frustrated breath and continued in a more level voice. “But I need more to work with than what you’ve given me.”
“Thackery doesn’t know that much about them,” Jennifer explained. “And he won’t let me investigate witchcraft.”
“Deviant, repellent devil’s work,” Thackery muttered. “There is no need to taint your soul with such evil, my dear.”
“That’s very sweet of you Thackery, but it’s also very insulting.” But Jennifer’s remonstrance didn’t hold any bite. She reached up and scratched him under his chin with a finger before going on. “We need all the help we can get, and if that means I have to…”
The two fell to arguing. The words sounded well-polished, as if they had bickered about this before. Tim stared silently into his coffee, which had by now cooled into sludge. He brought up a hand, and rubbed his eyes again. It was definitely way too early for this.
When he heard a lull, he interrupted. “Look, we need more information. And as crazy as it sounds…” he sighed. “I’ll…be…happy…to help.”
Jennifer beamed at him.
“But only with the investigation,” he said sharply. “I’m not saying I believe this witch bullcrap.”
“You call the witches ‘bullcrap,’ but see nothing wrong with a talking cat?” Thackery sounded immensely amused.
“I’m having enough trouble as it is,” McGee replied wearily. “Stop making it harder, alright?"
He sighed. “Where do we start?”
Author: jack_infinitude
Claim: NCIS - Timothy McGee
Prompt: #43 - myth
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 952 words.
Summary: McGee has an unusual meeting with one of his ancestors.
Notes/Warnings: Crossover with Hocus Pocus -- specifically, my upcoming fic in that fandom. Beware the Thackery/OFC undertones.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute -- back up.” McGee rubbed at his eyes with one hand. It was a very cold Saturday, early in the morning, and he really didn’t want any bullshit today. “Is this a joke? Did Tony put you up to this? I mean, I enjoy a good prank, but this is kind of --”
“Cretin,” Thackery hissed, black fur standing straight up on his back. “This is my last descendent?! Jennifer! I will not stand for this foolish-- hurk!”
Jennifer glared at Thackery and pulled on his collar again just for good measure. “Don’t be rude,” she admonished sternly. “I didn’t take it nearly as well when I first met you.”
Thackery pulled himself free of her grasp and stalked to the edge of their small café table, muttering something about her being ‘special.’ McGee, still trying to take in the fact that there was a talking cat sitting less than half a foot away from his elbow, just shook his head.
“Wish I had some fur,” he muttered, bringing his coat up higher around his long neck. Outdoor seats? Really not what they were cracked up to be.
“I’m sorry he’s so…grouchy,” Jennifer said. “He’s nervous; he doesn’t know what the witches will do next.”
Tim closed his eyes. “Let me get this straight. Way back in the 1600s…”
“1693!”
“Yeah, okay, whatever, talking cat…that I’m somehow related to…so, back in the day, Puss in Boots was a human boy --”
“I was a man by anyone’s reckoning,” Thackery spat.
McGee continued as if he hadn’t said anything. “-- and he woke up one day to find that his sister was gone. So, instead of searching for her in the village like a normal person, he automatically assumed she had been captured by…witches…and I use that term loosely….”
“My instincts have never failed me before,” the cat interrupted. His tail was flicking back and forth, and Tim began to worry about the positioning of his coffee.
“Yeah, your instincts have never failed -- which is why you’ve come to me.”
“Hmph.”
“You two really are related.” Jennifer muttered.
“Anyway, he starts snooping around in the forest, finds the witches sacrificing his sister and…gets turned into a cat? Seriously, even if I bought the rest, a cat? Why didn’t they just kill you?”
“They wanted me to suffer,” Thackery replied. He stood suddenly and in a trice had draped himself on Jennifer’s shoulders. “I called them ugly. I couldn’t stop them from murdering my sister. They wanted to…” He fell silent.
It was hard to read a cat’s face, but McGee tried anyway. Thackery stared back at him impassively from Jennifer’s shoulders, with only his flicking tail giving tell of his temperament.
“We need your help,” Jennifer said softly.
“What could I do?” he asked helplessly. “I’m a federal agent, not a -- a wizard, or a sorcerer, or a curse-breaker.”
“You misunderstand,” Thackery replied. “We’re not looking for someone to help me. My condition is far from desirable, but it is not intolerable.”
“We’re trying to stop the witches,” Jennifer clarified. “We know they’ve been kidnapping children all across the country, but they’re moving too fast for us for to track. So we need you.”
“Missing child reports can’t be sorted that way. Plenty of people try to lure children away, it’s a really common factor -- look, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to help you. I mean, if one of those kids that were kidnapped was the son or daughter of a Navy officer, then maybe I could help. But this….”
“We need to find out who they take,” Thackery replied harshly. “It’s too late for the ones they’ve already killed, don’t you see that? The best we can do for them is killing the witches so their souls can be free. We need to know where they’ll strike next.”
“You can’t tell me that you don’t know what they look for, and expect me to pull a miracle out of my ass! For all we know, they’re just picking them up off the street! I’m not unwilling, okay? I have a little sister too, I know what it’s like when she’s in danger and there’s nothing I can do to help her!” Tim let out a frustrated breath and continued in a more level voice. “But I need more to work with than what you’ve given me.”
“Thackery doesn’t know that much about them,” Jennifer explained. “And he won’t let me investigate witchcraft.”
“Deviant, repellent devil’s work,” Thackery muttered. “There is no need to taint your soul with such evil, my dear.”
“That’s very sweet of you Thackery, but it’s also very insulting.” But Jennifer’s remonstrance didn’t hold any bite. She reached up and scratched him under his chin with a finger before going on. “We need all the help we can get, and if that means I have to…”
The two fell to arguing. The words sounded well-polished, as if they had bickered about this before. Tim stared silently into his coffee, which had by now cooled into sludge. He brought up a hand, and rubbed his eyes again. It was definitely way too early for this.
When he heard a lull, he interrupted. “Look, we need more information. And as crazy as it sounds…” he sighed. “I’ll…be…happy…to help.”
Jennifer beamed at him.
“But only with the investigation,” he said sharply. “I’m not saying I believe this witch bullcrap.”
“You call the witches ‘bullcrap,’ but see nothing wrong with a talking cat?” Thackery sounded immensely amused.
“I’m having enough trouble as it is,” McGee replied wearily. “Stop making it harder, alright?"
He sighed. “Where do we start?”