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erifnosmirc May 3 2012, 02:23:07 UTC
Ooh, what a way and place to cut the piece off. It hints that they're going to do something drastic -- my first thought is kill him, heh -- to deal with the wife's abusive husband. Nice transition between the first woman's warmth and consolation by offering the wife some tea, then to the foreshadowing in that last line. It's simple, establishes a setting and mood, and concludes the story on a strong, chilling note. I also like that the wife confesses to still loving her husband despite his beating her. It's realistic.

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proceedcyclone May 3 2012, 23:59:49 UTC
Aw, thank you for such unbelievably kind feedback!

Personally, I was worried it was too hasty and/or too abrupt of a transition from her comforting her friend to her suggestion.

Thank you, too, for taking the time to read and comment.

-Tia

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ami_ven May 27 2012, 20:28:00 UTC
Very nice! I like that you don't say exactly what they're going to do- it could be anything!

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