In which they take a trip down PPTH way.
[Cowritten with smart_alec494. Dean = hasperkynipples, Sam = imnot_likeyou. Follows THIS.]
He'd meant to leave. He really had. To be gone. But the shakes had hit too quickly. And couldn't have made it past the sidewalk in front of the motel room. So he'd let instinct guide him and hid in the bathroom behind a locked door.
It hadn't slowed Dean or Sam down much though. Nor had they paid much attention to him trying to get them to just leave him be. And now they were dragging him into a hospital. He struggled against them but didn't really have the strength to get anywhere. Or when he did have the strength he lacked any sort of co-ordination.
He knew that the pathetic whimper came from him. There were much cleaner deaths than by doctor. He'd rather be shot. And he felt almost betrayed. They had said they wanted him. Said that he was welcome. And now as soon as he was broken they were giving him back. He couldn't blame them though. Who wanted a broken weapon.
He understood but fought anyway. Panicked anyway.
Getting into the clinic hadn't been hard. All they had to do was fill out a form and within the hour they were sitting in an exam room, waiting for the doctor to arrive. Dean understood the doctor phobia, he really did. He wasn't all that fond of them either, but he wanted to make sure the poor kid was okay. So Sam was standing by the door in case he tried to bolt, while Dean was sitting with him in the chairs reserved for family. Hopefully this would be relatively simple, and it wouldn't take too long.
"Probably won't take long at all," Dean said with a nod. "He'll look you over -- in and out, five minutes."
Alec huddled into the chair, knees up, face pressed into them arms pulled in close. He would have hid in a corner is Dean had let him. He tried to still the shakes but they were only getting worse. "Don't make me stay. Please. No doctors." Yeah, he'd been reduced to begging pretty damned quickly once they had him inside and he couldn't escape the smell of fear, disinfectant and blood.
"Hey, look -- we know doctors suck, alright?" Sam sighed, looking over at him from where he was standing. "But we just want to make sure you're okay. And this guy? He's cool. He's one of the nicest guys we know."
"No such thing." No doctor was nice. He huddled tighter as the shakes tried to turn into full on jerking of limbs. He tried to hide.
Dean glanced back at his brother with a shrug, before the door to the room opened and Kutner poked his head in. His eyes went wide when he spotted Sam and Dean, before glancing behind him as he let himself in and shut the door. "What are you guys doing here? I can't be seen harboring fugitives."
"Hey! We're not fugitives," Dean said pointing a finger in the doctor's direction. "Technically we're dead."
Kutner rolled his eyes, before glancing over and spotting the third person in the room. He tilted his head to the side slightly and frowned. "You're new."
"Kutner, this is Alec," Dean replied. "Alec, this is Kutner."
Kutner started to move closer, before giving him a small smile. "I take it since Sam and Dean look pretty much intact that you're the patient?"
His head had come up a little when the door opened. He shrank back. "Don't. Don't touch me." It was half plea and half threat. That corner was looking real good.
Kutner stopped where he was and held up his hands. "Not a problem. I can totally examine you without touching you. But I can do it a little better if you hop up on the table at least." He paused for a moment, before taking a few steps back, and placing the file down on the table. "Look, I know generally speaking a lot of doctors suck, but I'm not out to get you, alright? I want you out of here just as fast as you do. We just want to make sure you're okay."
He grit his teeth against the hurt. And tried to hold himself steady. What the hell did they know about doctors sucking anyway? "I'm fine."
"You don't look fine," Kutner said with a sigh. "And Sam and Dean had to have dragged you in here for a reason. But if you really are fine -- I just want to double check. If I just let you go, and then you go and drop dead, Sam and Dean might kill me. They're known for that."
"Dude," Sam rolled his eyes. "We wouldn't kill you."
"We might punch you pretty hard, though," Dean nodded.
Alec looked up, eyes shifting from Kutner, to the exam table, and then the door. He uncurled and made a bolt for the door. His knees gave way before he made it, so instead he just scrambled back until his back was to a wall. The spasm that made he head connect solidly with the wall and see stars was also not on the list of planned events. He mewled and curled up again.
Kutner had made a move to go for him, but then remembered that he wasn't supposed to touch him. Instead he glanced between Sam and Dean, and Dean took a breath before starting to move in closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, look -- we're not trying to hurt you, alright? We're just tryin' to help."
Kutner just backed off slightly, before moving over to Sam. "What happened?"
"I think he had a seizure. We found him in the bathroom spazzing, and figured we'd bring him in to see if he was okay."
Kutner nodded slowly, before turning back to Alec. "Have you had seizures before?"
"Doctors always hurt." He didn't pull away from Dean though. Dubious safety was better than none. "Always. Always."
"Always had seizures or doctors haven't always been the greatest?" Kutner frowned, before looking at Dean, as he seemed to be responding better to him than Kutner at the moment.
"Dude. Have you had seizures before?"
He nodded. His face pressed to his knees again. "Sorry 'm broken."
"No, hey, dude," Dean shook his head. "Not your fault your head spazzed on you."
"He probably has epilepsy," Kutner replied, heading back over to the table where his prescription pad was. "Any reason why he doesn't have his meds?" He paused for a moment, and Sam and Dean looked at each other, before Kutner shook his head. "Never mind, I don't want to know."
Alec peered carefully at Dean from behind his knees, fingers tightening white knuckle for a moment where he was holding his own shins. He shook. "No one wants the broken ones."
Dean tilted his head to the side slightly, before shaking his head. "Well, hope you weren't planning to use this to get rid of us. We plan on sticking with you, no matter how broken you are." He paused for a minute before placing a hand on his shoulder lightly. "And you're not broken."
One elbow cracks into the wall involuntarily. "No?"
"Nope," Dean shook his head. "Not from what I can see."
He snorted. "Liar." But just a little of his blind panic was leaving. "Kinda hurts." Which was X5 for 'I'd really like some narcotic painkillers.'
Kutner glanced over at him, before pulling two sheets off and handing them to Sam. "One of them is an anti-convulsant, the other is for a painkiller. If he hasn't been off his meds for very long it probably rattled him a bit." He paused for a moment, before turning back towards Alec, hands up. "Look, I'm not going to force you, alright? But I'd feel better if I could just look you over, make sure everything's in one piece."
"Nothing's fallen off." But he knew better than to actually say no to a doctor. If Kutner asked again or pushed he'd get his way.
Kutner swallowed slightly before nodding. "Okay. If there are any other problems, just give me a call -- I'll make a house call next time."
Sam smirked, before turning and shaking Kutner's hand. "Thanks, man. Just fill this -- "
"Pharmacy counter's on your way out."
Alec blinked up at Kutner, really looking at him for the first time, clearly startled that Kutner had actually kept his distance.
Kutner gave him a small smile back, before moving back to the chart. Dean slid a gentle hand under Alec's arm as he started to move him out, wanting to get him out of there as soon as possible. In and out five minutes, just like he promised. Sam followed out behind them, making only a slight detour to the pharmacy counter to pick up the meds he needed, before meeting up with Alec and Dean at the door.
Alec let Dean pull him up, profoundly grateful that they weren't leaving his malfunctioning ass there. He tried to walk under his own power, but to call his balance merely shaky would have been kind. And as they left the building a lot of the tension left him and he leaned much more heavily on Dean.
Dean let him, sliding an arm around his shoulders and keeping him close. If the contact was what he wanted, Dean was more than happy to give it. "Wasn't so bad, right? Didn't even need a shot." He'd meant it mostly as a joke, but he was a little worried. The way Alec had freaked out in there was close to the way he freaked out on planes -- except worse. He was terrified of Kutner of all people, and that didn't sit right with him.
Alec nodded, more confused by the entire thing than anything else. They hadn't left him like he'd been sure they would. The doctor hadn't even laid a hand on him when he'd been pretty sure he's end up in pieces. He leaned on Dean wanting nothing more than for the shakes to stop, because this hurt, and then to sleep.
Once they were settled into the car, Sam handed the meds back over the back of the seat, letting Alec handle the dosage himself. He figured that the kid could handle taking a few pills on his own. "Dosage instructions are on the bottle."
"Thanks." He took the bottles which rattled in his hands. He set one down on the seat beside him while he took a minute to read the instructions and then carefully get the pills out with out spilling or dropping them. He dry swallowed them, not bothering to ask what they were. He never asked. He repeated the process with the second bottle before huddling up again, back to the door, head resting against the seat.
Dean and Sam both settled in, before starting the drive back to the motel, talking back and forth between themselves about something not important
Alec was quiet for the ride, just trying to contain himself and wait for the pills to work. After a little while he couldn't help but ask. "Why are you still keeping me?" Because he couldn't see how there was enough benefit to off set the trouble he was. He hadn't even done that well with the ghost. He'd frozen. And now this? It didn't add up.
Dean paused for a minute, raising an eyebrow at the question, before shrugging. "We like you, dude. Is there a reason why we shouldn't? I mean -- you're not going to up and murder us in our sleep, right?"
He shook his head. No that would have been 493's deal. He couldn't think of any reason they shouldn't like him aside from the ones he's already given them, but he knew they would ignore him this time too if he brought it up.
They weren't ignoring them, so much as they didn't think they were good enough. And Winchesters are kind of like dogs. They keep coming back, even if you kick 'em -- hard. "Look, like I said," Sam said with a small smirk. "You're stuck with us. Whether you like it or not."
That got through a little bit better than other things had. Manticore was still in everything about him. Eighteen years stacked against a week free of it. Except he wasn't free of it really. Not yet. Maybe not ever, so sometimes taking away his choices was the kindest thing to do. This was happening, whether he liked it or not. "Okay." He didn't dislike it.
"Good," Dean nodded, before turning back to the road, still heading in the direction of the motel.
[ PART 2]
He'd meant to leave. He really had. To be gone. But the shakes had hit too quickly. And couldn't have made it past the sidewalk in front of the motel room. So he'd let instinct guide him and hid in the bathroom behind a locked door.
It hadn't slowed Dean or Sam down much though. Nor had they paid much attention to him trying to get them to just leave him be. And now they were dragging him into a hospital. He struggled against them but didn't really have the strength to get anywhere. Or when he did have the strength he lacked any sort of co-ordination.
He knew that the pathetic whimper came from him. There were much cleaner deaths than by doctor. He'd rather be shot. And he felt almost betrayed. They had said they wanted him. Said that he was welcome. And now as soon as he was broken they were giving him back. He couldn't blame them though. Who wanted a broken weapon.
He understood but fought anyway. Panicked anyway.
Getting into the clinic hadn't been hard. All they had to do was fill out a form and within the hour they were sitting in an exam room, waiting for the doctor to arrive. Dean understood the doctor phobia, he really did. He wasn't all that fond of them either, but he wanted to make sure the poor kid was okay. So Sam was standing by the door in case he tried to bolt, while Dean was sitting with him in the chairs reserved for family. Hopefully this would be relatively simple, and it wouldn't take too long.
"Probably won't take long at all," Dean said with a nod. "He'll look you over -- in and out, five minutes."
Alec huddled into the chair, knees up, face pressed into them arms pulled in close. He would have hid in a corner is Dean had let him. He tried to still the shakes but they were only getting worse. "Don't make me stay. Please. No doctors." Yeah, he'd been reduced to begging pretty damned quickly once they had him inside and he couldn't escape the smell of fear, disinfectant and blood.
"Hey, look -- we know doctors suck, alright?" Sam sighed, looking over at him from where he was standing. "But we just want to make sure you're okay. And this guy? He's cool. He's one of the nicest guys we know."
"No such thing." No doctor was nice. He huddled tighter as the shakes tried to turn into full on jerking of limbs. He tried to hide.
Dean glanced back at his brother with a shrug, before the door to the room opened and Kutner poked his head in. His eyes went wide when he spotted Sam and Dean, before glancing behind him as he let himself in and shut the door. "What are you guys doing here? I can't be seen harboring fugitives."
"Hey! We're not fugitives," Dean said pointing a finger in the doctor's direction. "Technically we're dead."
Kutner rolled his eyes, before glancing over and spotting the third person in the room. He tilted his head to the side slightly and frowned. "You're new."
"Kutner, this is Alec," Dean replied. "Alec, this is Kutner."
Kutner started to move closer, before giving him a small smile. "I take it since Sam and Dean look pretty much intact that you're the patient?"
His head had come up a little when the door opened. He shrank back. "Don't. Don't touch me." It was half plea and half threat. That corner was looking real good.
Kutner stopped where he was and held up his hands. "Not a problem. I can totally examine you without touching you. But I can do it a little better if you hop up on the table at least." He paused for a moment, before taking a few steps back, and placing the file down on the table. "Look, I know generally speaking a lot of doctors suck, but I'm not out to get you, alright? I want you out of here just as fast as you do. We just want to make sure you're okay."
He grit his teeth against the hurt. And tried to hold himself steady. What the hell did they know about doctors sucking anyway? "I'm fine."
"You don't look fine," Kutner said with a sigh. "And Sam and Dean had to have dragged you in here for a reason. But if you really are fine -- I just want to double check. If I just let you go, and then you go and drop dead, Sam and Dean might kill me. They're known for that."
"Dude," Sam rolled his eyes. "We wouldn't kill you."
"We might punch you pretty hard, though," Dean nodded.
Alec looked up, eyes shifting from Kutner, to the exam table, and then the door. He uncurled and made a bolt for the door. His knees gave way before he made it, so instead he just scrambled back until his back was to a wall. The spasm that made he head connect solidly with the wall and see stars was also not on the list of planned events. He mewled and curled up again.
Kutner had made a move to go for him, but then remembered that he wasn't supposed to touch him. Instead he glanced between Sam and Dean, and Dean took a breath before starting to move in closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, look -- we're not trying to hurt you, alright? We're just tryin' to help."
Kutner just backed off slightly, before moving over to Sam. "What happened?"
"I think he had a seizure. We found him in the bathroom spazzing, and figured we'd bring him in to see if he was okay."
Kutner nodded slowly, before turning back to Alec. "Have you had seizures before?"
"Doctors always hurt." He didn't pull away from Dean though. Dubious safety was better than none. "Always. Always."
"Always had seizures or doctors haven't always been the greatest?" Kutner frowned, before looking at Dean, as he seemed to be responding better to him than Kutner at the moment.
"Dude. Have you had seizures before?"
He nodded. His face pressed to his knees again. "Sorry 'm broken."
"No, hey, dude," Dean shook his head. "Not your fault your head spazzed on you."
"He probably has epilepsy," Kutner replied, heading back over to the table where his prescription pad was. "Any reason why he doesn't have his meds?" He paused for a moment, and Sam and Dean looked at each other, before Kutner shook his head. "Never mind, I don't want to know."
Alec peered carefully at Dean from behind his knees, fingers tightening white knuckle for a moment where he was holding his own shins. He shook. "No one wants the broken ones."
Dean tilted his head to the side slightly, before shaking his head. "Well, hope you weren't planning to use this to get rid of us. We plan on sticking with you, no matter how broken you are." He paused for a minute before placing a hand on his shoulder lightly. "And you're not broken."
One elbow cracks into the wall involuntarily. "No?"
"Nope," Dean shook his head. "Not from what I can see."
He snorted. "Liar." But just a little of his blind panic was leaving. "Kinda hurts." Which was X5 for 'I'd really like some narcotic painkillers.'
Kutner glanced over at him, before pulling two sheets off and handing them to Sam. "One of them is an anti-convulsant, the other is for a painkiller. If he hasn't been off his meds for very long it probably rattled him a bit." He paused for a moment, before turning back towards Alec, hands up. "Look, I'm not going to force you, alright? But I'd feel better if I could just look you over, make sure everything's in one piece."
"Nothing's fallen off." But he knew better than to actually say no to a doctor. If Kutner asked again or pushed he'd get his way.
Kutner swallowed slightly before nodding. "Okay. If there are any other problems, just give me a call -- I'll make a house call next time."
Sam smirked, before turning and shaking Kutner's hand. "Thanks, man. Just fill this -- "
"Pharmacy counter's on your way out."
Alec blinked up at Kutner, really looking at him for the first time, clearly startled that Kutner had actually kept his distance.
Kutner gave him a small smile back, before moving back to the chart. Dean slid a gentle hand under Alec's arm as he started to move him out, wanting to get him out of there as soon as possible. In and out five minutes, just like he promised. Sam followed out behind them, making only a slight detour to the pharmacy counter to pick up the meds he needed, before meeting up with Alec and Dean at the door.
Alec let Dean pull him up, profoundly grateful that they weren't leaving his malfunctioning ass there. He tried to walk under his own power, but to call his balance merely shaky would have been kind. And as they left the building a lot of the tension left him and he leaned much more heavily on Dean.
Dean let him, sliding an arm around his shoulders and keeping him close. If the contact was what he wanted, Dean was more than happy to give it. "Wasn't so bad, right? Didn't even need a shot." He'd meant it mostly as a joke, but he was a little worried. The way Alec had freaked out in there was close to the way he freaked out on planes -- except worse. He was terrified of Kutner of all people, and that didn't sit right with him.
Alec nodded, more confused by the entire thing than anything else. They hadn't left him like he'd been sure they would. The doctor hadn't even laid a hand on him when he'd been pretty sure he's end up in pieces. He leaned on Dean wanting nothing more than for the shakes to stop, because this hurt, and then to sleep.
Once they were settled into the car, Sam handed the meds back over the back of the seat, letting Alec handle the dosage himself. He figured that the kid could handle taking a few pills on his own. "Dosage instructions are on the bottle."
"Thanks." He took the bottles which rattled in his hands. He set one down on the seat beside him while he took a minute to read the instructions and then carefully get the pills out with out spilling or dropping them. He dry swallowed them, not bothering to ask what they were. He never asked. He repeated the process with the second bottle before huddling up again, back to the door, head resting against the seat.
Dean and Sam both settled in, before starting the drive back to the motel, talking back and forth between themselves about something not important
Alec was quiet for the ride, just trying to contain himself and wait for the pills to work. After a little while he couldn't help but ask. "Why are you still keeping me?" Because he couldn't see how there was enough benefit to off set the trouble he was. He hadn't even done that well with the ghost. He'd frozen. And now this? It didn't add up.
Dean paused for a minute, raising an eyebrow at the question, before shrugging. "We like you, dude. Is there a reason why we shouldn't? I mean -- you're not going to up and murder us in our sleep, right?"
He shook his head. No that would have been 493's deal. He couldn't think of any reason they shouldn't like him aside from the ones he's already given them, but he knew they would ignore him this time too if he brought it up.
They weren't ignoring them, so much as they didn't think they were good enough. And Winchesters are kind of like dogs. They keep coming back, even if you kick 'em -- hard. "Look, like I said," Sam said with a small smirk. "You're stuck with us. Whether you like it or not."
That got through a little bit better than other things had. Manticore was still in everything about him. Eighteen years stacked against a week free of it. Except he wasn't free of it really. Not yet. Maybe not ever, so sometimes taking away his choices was the kindest thing to do. This was happening, whether he liked it or not. "Okay." He didn't dislike it.
"Good," Dean nodded, before turning back to the road, still heading in the direction of the motel.
[ PART 2]