Sixth Explosion

[prodigious_mage]

Hmmmmmmmmm.  If it worked for her . . . . . . .

[Knock knock knock! Palom is at YOUR door! No, it doesn't matter who you are or where you live.  Unless you're Crazy Scarf-Eye-Killy Person.  And Crazy Maya-Hating Person.  And even that woman who killed Crazy Maya-Hating Person.  Asura, Matt Engarde, and Sakuya's houses will be skipped.]

Hiya! My name

Comments

[bustydefense]

[ilu so much. Too bad Mia can't comment on this.]

I'll fix it!

[prodigious_mage]

[When Mia wakes up the next day, Palom is at her bedroom door with a sack and a wide grin.]

Rise and shine, mom!

I've been collecting donations for the Kids Escaping Mayfield Fund! Would you like to give delicious candies, sweets, and pastries to your adorable son and a very good cause?

Re: I'll fix it!

[bustydefense]

Don't I donate to this cause every day?

[prodigious_mage]

Uhhh. Yeah, but it was never official! Now it can be. I'll make you a, umm. Pin of officiality.

[heartofheaven]

Oh... hello. Candy, huh? Um, how is that supposed to help you escape?

[prodigious_mage]

[Luckily, Palom has expected this question.]

Not to worry, ma'am, the answer to your question is forthcoming. Behold! A chart!

[It is a nicely drawn sketch of two stick figures -- One droopy, with the thought balloon, "Boy am I hungry I am so lame I cannot even draw a proper hole". The other has developed a sixteen pack, with the thought balloon, "Wow I am so energized I think I could even escape from this town!" The second one is labeled 'Simon', the first 'Relm'.]

As you can see, you would be contributing to a very, very good cause.

[heartofheaven]

[Tifa can't help laughing at the chart. It's obviously complete nonsense, but Palom seems sweet and if she can do something to cheer up the kids of Mayfield, then why not?]

Okay, Palom, let me see what I can find. Do you want to come into the kitchen?

[Beckons.]

[prodigious_mage]

Yes! It wor -- I mean. Thank you very much for your kindness and generosity, Ms. Tifa! We will be sure to put your name down as one of our best supporters and enter you in our annual sweepstakes for, umm. A new . . . telephone.

[Where Palom picked this stuff up is a mystery. He follows her inside, rolling up the chart for further usage.]

[grey_of_heart]

"Uh, hullo. I'd have to look..." Grant looks back over his shoulder. He hasn't been in the kitchen for longer than ten minutes yet. What's with children going door to door and asking for things? This place gets odder with each passing minute.

"You can come in if you like. Erm. I'll be a moment or three."

[prodigious_mage]

OK! I'll wait in the kitchen, mister. Take your time! We of the KE . . . uhh. KEMC understand that the worker of today is busy, busy, busy.

[Clearly, Palom had never heard the tale of the Creepy Old Man Who Lured Little Boys In Who Were Subsequently Never Seen Again.]

[grey_of_heart]

Grant has no idea he's creepy. He's mostly harmless.

There's also a bowl of hard candy on the table, there. He wouldn't miss it.

"There's... Ovaltine? They still make that? Mm." He moves from the cabinets to the fridge. "Bananas, apples, oranges. Would those work?"

[prodigious_mage]

" . . . . . . . Err."

Fruit. Did anyone really want fruit? Maybe some of the kids were diabetic. Whatever.

"I-I guess. OK. Sure, mister! Thank you very much for your donation to the fund."

With a bright smile on his face, Palom sweeps the candy into his sack so quickly that he might as well have been moving at supersonic speeds, then stretches out his hands for the ruit.

[kol_shevik]

[Standing in the doorway, staring at Palom. Staring into his begging little soul.]

...Are you calling Russia fat?

[prodigious_mage]

[Palom is oblivious.]

No, sir, I would say you are pleasantly prepared for any long winter famines that may come your way. The children of this neighborhood, though, sadly, are not. Any donation you may offer would be greatly appreciated, sir!

[kol_shevik]

...Kolkohz production will pick up soon.

[Without a word, Russia slams the door and wanders back into the house. There's the distinct sound of pots and pans slamming and possibly even the noise metal-meets-skull and some exotic Eastern European flavor cursing...why are you listening to this again?

Russia throws the door open again a moment later, and hands Palom a bottle of Antifreeze. I hear it tastes sweet.

Then he slams the door again.]

[prodigious_mage]

. . .

*knock knock knock*

Excuse me, sir! I hadn't thought it necessary, but I would like to make a clarification of "any donation you may offer that will not kill us when consumed would be greatly appreciated, sir!"

[Palom heard Asura's advice earlier, oh yes he did.]

[ones_a_job]

[No, but here was a cup of coffee. It puts hair on yer chest. Door slam.]

[prodigious_mage]

. . .

*knock, knock, knock*

Sir and/or madam? I am afraid we cannot accept liquid donations at this time, since they tend to run out the bottom of the paper sack and also because it is difficult to distribute evenly without a measuring cup.

[ones_a_job]

[Muffled] If yer still outside my door in thirty seconds m' pullin' off yer head.

[prodigious_mage]

Sorry, sir, I can't quite hear you. It sounded vaguely like you were making threats against a little kid collecting donations, but that can't be right.