Let's Play Homestuck
<< | ^^ | >>
Act 1: The Note Desolation Plays
Part 4: Speed Run
Link back to comic: Page 197
When we last left our intrepid hero, a meteor was hurtling towards his house at incredible speed.
Time to impact: 3 minutes.
TT: Your dad is getting home.
TT: John?
TT: What did you do with your PDA this time?
TT: I'm working on the bathroom.
TT: But we are running low on Build Grist.
Dad seems perplexed about this turn of events.
Back in your room, since the PDA was lost again!
Two chums are pestering you.
TT: I'm working on the bathroom.
TT: But we are running low on Build Grist.
EB: oh man who cares about the bathroom, now there's a meteor heading for my house!!!
TT: I see.
TT: Do you suppose it has anything to do with the game?
EB: i don't know, maybe! what do i do!
TT: I think it's very likely.
TT: The walkthroughs vaguely suggest an impending threat before they end.
TT: The already poorly constructed sentences become even more curt and ambiguous.
EB: wow, FASCINATING.
EB: ??????
TT: If the meteor is a game construct, I think the only thing to do is to proceed, and try to solve the dilemma on the game's terms.
TT: Try using the lathe.
TT: It says you can use the card on it, but isn't more specific than that.
EB: ok i'll do that.
-- techturnGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:34 --
TG: i heard you got the box
TG: i hope you appreciate my heroic fatherly perseverance in getting it to you
TG: in my rough and tumble dirty wifebeaterly sort of way
TG: also i hope you appreciate how many no-talent douches had their mitts on that bunny before you
TG: hey where are you
EB: oh man, the bunny was awesome, but i don't have time to talk, i'm playing sburb and it's kind of a nightmare.
EB: TT is breaking everything in my house.
TG: dude i told you to steer clear of that game
TG: and for that matter you should probably wash your hands of flighty broads and their snarky horseshit altogether
EB: and now there's a meteor coming, and i'm not even joking about that!!!
EB: it's like a big asteroid or comet or something.
EB: in the sky.
EB: heading right for my house!!!!!!!!
TG: oh man
TG: how big is it
EB: i dunno.
EB: big, i guess.
EB: i gotta go!
EB: we'll talk later if i am still alive and the earth isn't blown up.
TG: like the size of texas
TG: or just rhode island
TG: theyre always throwing around these geographical comparisons to give us a sense of scale like it really means anything to us
TG: but its like it doesnt matter its always just like: WOW THATS PRETTY FUCKING BIG
TG: anyway later
More progress! There's a card slot in the Totem Lathe. In the Pre-Punched Card goes.
There's a spot in here for the dowel, too!
It's all coming together.
Reading the card, the Totem Lathe carves the dowel into some kind of totem!
TO THE ALCHEMITER
God damn it.
Time until impact: 2 minutes.
In another house lives a young lady.
She was just playing a very important game with her friend John, but lost internet at a critical moment.
Rose Lalonde
tentacleTherapist
Interests: Obscure literature, strange and fictitious beasts, psychoanalysis, knitting, games
Fetch Modus: Tree
Before you can get to saving your friend, there is always time for more Inventory Management Bullshit!
Items captchalogued under the tree modus automatically sort themselves into some kind of funky tree, in alphabetical order.
If the tree gets too wonky, it'll balance itself automatically.
Only the item at the top is accessible. This isn't very practical, but what modus is?
Having also picked up a GRIMOIRE FOR THE ZOOLOGICALLY DUBIOUS, we're done wasting time in here.
To the observatory!
This house is filled with wizard paraphenalia. Your mother collects them for no reason other than to spite you.
Yeesh, it's really coming down out here. Also, there's no way this catwalk is up to safety regulations.
Did we mention that taking the top item causes everything else to fall out of the tree? You can't use anything without dumping out the contents of your entire inventory.
INVENTORY MANAGEMENT BULLSHIT.
Taking a look through the telescope, there's a hell of a meteor shower going on. It's a little disconcerting, and might be related to John's meteor.
Connection reestablished!
Time to impact: 31 seconds.
TT: I'm back.
EB: hurry up and open my door!!!!!!
EB: not that it even matters, i think i'm probably dead no matter what!!!!!!
TT: Patience. You still haven't used the new totem.
TT: I believe it will create the item on the punch card.
EB: so what is it, like an apple or something?
EB: what good will that even do?
TT: We'll see.
EB: do we have enough of those building jewels to make it?
TT: According to the Atheneum, it is a free item.
TT: This speaks to its importance, in my view.
TT: Now off you go.
And off the hinges the door goes! John is now free to escape to the Alchemiter.
We're out of grist, though.
Apple acquired.
Now, there are only seconds to spare.
Now, quick.
[S] Take bite out of apple.
END OF ACT 1
<< | ^^ | >>