Let's Play Homestuck
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Act 2: Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Part 3: Puppets are Awesome
Link back to comic: Page 412
Rose has arrived at the mauloseum behind her house.
The backup generator is up and running.
It's worth mentioning that this is the mauloseum for your old pet cat, Jaspers. Your mother had it made as an act of passive aggressive bullshit.
Anyway, John's up to something again, by the look of it.
TG: john said your house was burning down are you on fire yet or what
TT: No. For now I have retired to the safety of a smaller building which is much closer to the forest fire threatening my residence.
TG: oh well thats a relief
TG: john told me to get the game to help get you out of there so im working on that now
TG: hey
TG: dont tell john this but i think he might have been right about the puppets
TT: You're referring to your brother's collection?
TG: i mean dont get me wrong i think its cool and all
TG: the semi-ironic puppet thing or whatever
TG: im just starting to think some of this shit is going a little far and its kind of fucked up
TG: oh man i wish lil cal wouldnt look at me like that
TG: with those dead eyes jesus
TG: sometimes i dream that hes real and hes talking to me and i wake up in a cold sweat and basically flip the fuck out
TT: Interesting...
TG: oh god why did i just tell you my dream
TG: youre going to have a field day with that
TG: oh have you heard from john
TG: hes not answering me
TT: He won't answer me either.
TT: But I am watching him.
TT: I suspect he is preoccupied with the fact that he just had a bucket of water dumped on his head by the ghost of his dead grandmother, who also happens to be dressed like a clown.
TG: hahahahaha
TG: alright im out
TG: later
JOHN: um... nanna?
NANNASPRITE: Yes, dear!
JOHN: are you REALLY my dead nanna?
NANNASPRITE: Of course, John! I have come back to help you on your journey through The Medium and beyond!
JOHN: ok, i guess i will take your word for it. i don't remember you at all! my dad said i was really young when you died.
JOHN: hey speaking of which, do you know where he is??? i looked everywhere for him!
NANNASPRITE: Your father was kidnapped!
JOHN: oh no!
NANNASPRITE: When you crossed over to The Medium, he was apprehended by the very forces of darkness which your presence here has awakened.
JOHN: what? ok, so what is the medium you are talking about?
JOHN: are we inside a computer, or in the game software or something?
NANNASPRITE: No, John. You are not inside a computer or software or anything like that! The software that brought you here was merely a mechanism that served as a gateway!
JOHN: so what do i actually need to be doing here?
NANNASPRITE: I think it would be best if we started with the big picture!
NANNASPRITE: Above The Medium, beyond The Seven Gates is a place known as Skaia.
NANNASPRITE: Legend holds that Skaia exists as a dormant crucible of unlimited creative potential. What does this mean, you ask? I'm afraid my lips are sealed about that, dear! Hoo hoo!
NANNASPRITE: But needless to say, where a realm of such profound importance is concerned, forces of light will forever be charged with its defense, while forces of darkness will just as persistently covet its destruction!
NANNASPRITE: And as it so happens, at the center of this realm whose fate is in question, these very forces duel on a stage, stuck in eternal stalemate.
NANNASPRITE: Yes, they have dueled in this manner forever... that is, until you showed up!
JOHN: ME??
NANNASPRITE: Yes, you, John!
NANNASPRITE: Before your mishap with my ashes, you may recall the Sprite's previous incarnation, which resulted from its Kernel's "hatching".
NANNASPRITE: You see, this hatching occurs automatically in response to your arrival! The result is a pair of Kernels, one dark, one light, each carrying the information they were prototyped with before the hatch!
NANNASPRITE: One goes down, to a kingdom entrenched in darkness. The other, up, to a kingdom basking in light!
NANNASPRITE: And once the Kernels are situated, that is when the game is afoot. The true war begins, light versus dark, good versus evil.
NANNASPRITE: This is a war that the forces of light are always destined to lose, without exception!
JOHN: wow, really? then what's the point?
NANNASPRITE: That remains for you to find out, dear! For you see, the journey you are about to take is The Ultimate Riddle!
JOHN: whoa!!!
NANNASPRITE: For now, your objective is to proceed towards Skaia, and pass through The First Gate situated directly above your house, not even terribly far! The Gates will become progressively more difficult to reach, so you had better be prepared to sharpen your adventuring skills!
JOHN: how am i supposed to get up there?
NANNASPRITE: You build!
JOHN: ok, i think i get it now!
JOHN: we build the house to get to these gates, and then i can save my dad!
NANNASPRITE: Yes, John!
JOHN: and then after that, we solve this ultimate riddle thing and save earth from destruction!!!
NANNASPRITE: Oh no, I'm afraid not!
NANNASPRITE: Your planet is done for, dear! There is nothing you can do about that!
JOHN: oh...
NANNASPRITE: Your purpose is so much more important than saving that silly old planet, though!
JOHN: and that is?
NANNASPRITE: HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!
That is more than enough exposition for one scene.
Nannasprite heads off to make some cookies. Wonderful, more baked goods was JUST WHAT WE NEEDED.
Months in the past, but not many...
GG: hi happy birthday rose!!! <3
GG: did you get johns present yet?
TT: I just opened it this very moment. What a stunning coincidence you would ask about it now. I am stunned.
GG: yeah i know!!
GG: what will you make with it?
TT: I suppose I'll take a stab at learning the craft.
TT: It's the least I can do in response to the subtle dig concealed in his gesture.
TT: He often tells me I "need a new hobby" when I make perfectly reasonable analytical remarks.
GG: oh but rose i dont think he meant anything like that by it!!
GG: you see not everybody always means the opposite of what they say the way you and dave always do
TT: Maybe.
TT: His birthday is in a few months, isn't it?
GG: yep!
GG: i finally finished a present for him
GG: ive been working on it for years!!!!
TT: Years?
GG: i just mailed it too so it is sure to get there on time
GG: mail takes a while to get anywhere from here!!!
TT: So, shall I expect a green package dropped to my house via airmail from whatever screwball cranny of the globe you're tucked into?
GG: err.......
GG: sorry but you are sort of hard shop for
TT: This is already intriguing enough to compensate for the grave scarcity of lavish gifts parachuting from the sky. Please go on.
GG: did you have a pet a long time ago that died?
TT: Yes.
GG: ok well how did you feel about your cat, did you love him a lot?
TT: "ok well", I didn't mention it was a cat, or that it was a male. Let's pretend I'm surprised and you're embarrassed and move on.
TT: To answer your question, I would describe my feelings toward the animal as lukewarm.
GG: what if someone told you you could play a game that would bring him back to life?
TT: If someone told me that, I would regard the remark with a great deal of skepticism.
TT: So what is this game?
GG: oh i dont know
GG: i think youll hear about it later and maybe you can talk to john and dave about it
TT: I'll see what the word on the street is about it. In due time.
Back at Dave's place.
Let's check out where that bird and beta went.
[S] Dude, that bird is long gone. It probably won't last long in this heat anyway.
You don't even know what's up with this sick heat. The sun threatens to set but won't step off. It's staring you down, like the big red eye of a hot needle skipping on a groove its tracing 'round the earth. While lingering in midair its heat seems to suspend time itself, stretching it like warped vinyl. It's meant to rain this season but there ain't been a drop in sight. Even a little drizzle would help. Might help to fizzle this sizzle a little bizzle, set the record straight on this global turn-tizzle.
Enough introducing! You have important things to be doing, like raiding Bro's room for his copy of Sburb.
There are some totally cool and not at all unnerving and weird puppets lying around, as always.
Where's Lil' Cal, though? He's the most radical, sweetest puppet of them all. It's not like Bro to misplace him--
Oh, there he is.
We be chill.
While dicking around on Bro's computer, you proceed to have the conversation with Rose that we already saw from the other side.
Not long afterwards, Rose starts upgrading John's house with some more fancy stuff! This one's a Punch Designix.
Oh yeah, the house and surrounding yard are totally infested with imps.
TT: Nanna said to build, so that's what I'm doing.
TT: But this sure is going to take a lot of grist.
TT: Looks like you're going to be busy, John.
EB: blargh!
EB: well, what are you building?
TT: Stairs.
TT: They are fairly expensive actually.
EB: oh man...
EB: i could have warned you about stairs, rose!
TT: I'll try recouping some of the grist from the catwalk I built earlier.
EB: i told you rose
EB: i TOLD you about stairs!
TT: Consider me fully briefed on the matter of stairs.
TT: Now if you don't mind, it's hard enough to concentrate on this without immersing ourselves in Strider's non sequitur.
EB: did you know he thinks puppets are cool?
EB: he's so dumb!!
Oh cripes.
DEPLOY GREEN SLIME POGO RIDE
THIS IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS
Remote narrator connected.
>john might i bother you for a can opener?
Years in the future, but not many...
A studious eye darts about a page like a honeybee gathering the nectar of wisdom.
NEXT TIME: Punch-card alchemy.
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