Let's Play Homestuck
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Act 5 Act 2: He Is Already Here.
Part 14: Shit. Let's be Santa
Link back to comic: Page 3133
All is lost! The Windy Boy is dead.
Time to get out of this tin can.
Except you can't! You ate the station's power source, and now it doesn't have enough to even open the door.
Guess you have to wait.
All right! Time to get down to a busy schedule of ignoring Karkat and making ridiculous items.
TG: yes perfect
GG: it is the prettiest tree i have ever seen!!!!!
TG: now draw the conksuckiest boot you ever drew
GG: is this conksucky enough
TG: its the conksuckiest piece of fucking shit that ever still somehow qualified as a boot
OK time to make some real items.
On-the-go computing solution!
New outfits! Ridiculous gear!
This is awesome, but you can't afford it!
More outfits!
Hooray!
Somebody's calling you.
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --
CA: noww that youre done makin all that pointless rubbish
CA: ivve got somethin wway more wworth your wwhile
GG: werent you the guy who was always trying to hit on me??
CA: that couldvve been anyone
CA: im offerin you the edge here
CA: in your rivvalry wwith the other female
GG: i do not have a score to settle with rose!!!
GG: why would you think that?
CA: oh
CA: suppose i wwas guessin it wwas natural to presume somesuch relation like that betwween the twwo a you
CA: she is a cunnin and treacherous sort trust me i knoww her type
GG: wait do you have a thing for her too???
GG: did she reject you or something?
CA: you are slingin around such a bloody mess of slander wwith these accusations
CA: you wwouldnt understand anywway
CA: but the thing is i need a rivval wwho can pose me a challenge
CA: and frankly shes not evven fit for holdin my cape anymore
CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES
CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels
GG: hey look at that, time for me to get going!
CA: oh wwill you just take the fuckin gun already
CA: its a wway more powwerful wweapon than any of that crap you made
CA: its a legendary relic wwithout equal
GG: yes but i dont like you very much and i feel really icky about accepting a present from you
CA: if you accept it this is the last ill evver be botherin you about anythin ok
CA: FFFFFFWW
GG: what?
CA: thats the code
GG: oh...
GG: i have seen this before
GG: i am very sure its the same rifle included with johns present
CA: probably a cheap imitation of the original
CA: noww enjoy the utter fuckin domination it affords
GG: i did not provide the weapons!
GG: my penpal did
GG: we worked on it together but he supplied the bunnys weapons
GG: im pretty sure hes from the future!
GG: because he said hes my grandson
CA: wwhat the fuck is a grandson
CA: is that some kind of pervverse human familial thing
CA: nevvermind then your procreational biologistics make my fins curl in distaste
GG: aaaaa please dont tell anyone i told you about him!
GG: augh how could i let that slip to you of all people
CA: settle dowwn jade youre radically underestimatin the amount of shit i dont givve about this
CA: i got bigger ships to sink and soon wwhen im good and ready me and my luminous fuckin science stick havve got a date wwith jack noir
CA: AND NO NOT THAT KIND OF DATE GIVVE ME A LITTLE FUCKIN CREDIT
CA: wwhys this matter so hush hush anywway
GG: he didnt want me to tell my friends who he really was
GG: i guess maybe he was concerned about upsetting the timeline? i dunno
GG: he was so nice, and it really did feel like i was talking to family, so i really dont think he was making it up
GG: i couldnt help but try to imagine his parents...
GG: and more interestingly.......
GG: his grandfather :O
GG: i still wonder who it could be...
CA: ok i think im startin to feel ill talkin about things makin me fathom pink wwigglers comin out a your owwn personal torso
CA: so change a fuckin subject
CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid
GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be
GG: do you even have those? if you dont have parents how could you?
CA: no wwe dont knoww our direct forebears and im pretty sure any attempt to seek out or evven inquire about the supplier of your genes wwould be a fine wway to get yourself killed
CA: but wwevve got our lore and it says wwe all got indivvidual ancestors wwho contribute to most of our genes abovve and beyond wwhat the grubs slurry does
CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place
CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway
GG: then maybe that is how this heirloom should work
GG: so ill just dump it outside the house with the trash
GG: and if it is fated to find my penpal one day then so be it!
GG: in any case i dont appreciate the spirit in which the gift was given so this is what i will do!
CA: fine fuck it wwhat do i care
CA: this has been a completely flippin useless exchange as havve they all been wwith your species
CA: fate isnt real
CA: its a lot of FAKE FUCKIN HORSEFEATHERS
CA: noww go and be cleansed by the light of truth purity nonfakeness hope and abovve all SCIENCE
Legendary piece of shit.
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
AA: i guess i sh0uld say s0mething
AA: bef0re i g0
TA: aradiia, ii am riight glubbiing here, liike two feet away from you.
TA: iif you want two 2ay 2omethiing two me why don't you ju2t turn two your left and 2ay iit, iit'2 bad enough that you've hardly 2aiid two lou2y word2 two me 2iince you became that 2weaty a22hole'2 2moochbot.
AA: but this is hard f0r me
TA: ok then, what ii2 iit.
AA: s0rry ab0ut everything
AA: and all the bad luck y0uve had
AA: y0u didnt deserve it
AA: i have t0 g0 n0w
TA: what, where are you goiing?
TA: waiit.
TA: you mean for good, wiill ii see you agaiin?
AA: im n0t sure
AA: but i guess if y0u d0
AA: pr0bably n0t with y0ur eyes
AA: i think y0ull be 0k with it th0ugh
AA: 0_0
AA: i wish
AA: i c0uld s0meh0w make that em0tic0n smile
AA: 0u0
AA: n0 that l00ks stupid
AA: 0h well
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --
TG: well that was apparently pointless
TG: now what
GC: >:[
Employing your new Compu-Sooth Spectagoggles, you can remote view all physical locations within your session! Let's check up on people.
John's on the Battlefield! He's got an awesome cute new outfit. What did he have to do to make that?
He's not answering your messages because he doesn't have any computers on him.
Rose is on Dave's world for some reason! She's talking to somebody you don't recognize.
oh nooooooo
Dave is no longer too cool to have any dead family members. Also, the number of active daves just dropped from 13 to 12. Does that mean.....
OH NOOOOOOO
NEXT CHAPTER: Last Prototyping.
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