Let's Play Homestuck
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Act 5 Act 2: He Is Already Here.
Part 22: How Does a Seer See
Link back to comic: Page 3614
You are now NOT Doc Scratch. Nobody can be Doc Scratch other thanNARRATION LOST
[Hello.
I think it would be for the best if I commandeered the narrative completely for a while. I trust you won't mind if I speak in white. It's not actually negotiable, but as a courtesy I will enclose my words between a pair of visually audible brackets.]
[I am doing it because I am expecting a guest to arrive shortly. This should enable me to show the man the sort of hospitality he deserves, while doing the same for you.
My apartment doesn't have a doorbell. Why would an omniscient fellow need to be alerted to the presence of a visitor? I know he will be right on time.
He is already here.]
[Did you not believe it would be Jack? Who else would it be? Someone who would have suspected anyone else is a person I would also describe as a sucker.
Hello, Slick. Won't you please ent...]
[Oh for heaven's sake.]
[Jack. Stop it.
Jack.
Slick? Which would you prefer I call you? It's one of the strange points of uncertainty which surrounds you. Maybe it is that you don't particularly care.
You're not going to stop, are you. I was prepared to go about it in a civilized way, even though I knew very well I would spend the first several minutes of our meeting sitting on the floor while being flogged. I have even prepared a bowl of candy for you, which I know you will enjoy. Courtesy is important, Jack.]
[Yes, good. Placate yourself with the scottie dogs, Slick. My supply is bottomless. I am an excellent host.
When I am finished with this minor interruption, we will resume our gentlemanly negotiation. I will proceed to beat you severely until you agree to do what I ask. I trust you won't take it personally.]
[Now please excuse me. I have to talk to a teenage girl from another universe.]
TT: I think I've been patient enough.
TT: When will I receive further instruction?
Now.
Your inevitable impatience caused you to contact me again.
Inevitability is my invitation.
TT: That's pretty smug.
I am right to be smug. I am omniscient, extremely powerful, and very charming.
TT: Two out of three isn't bad.
That was clever.
If I plead ignorance to the fact that you are denying my charisma, it invalidates my claim of omniscience.
But if I must adhere to my all knowing status, it forces me to validate the unfortunate reality that you are feigning the opinion that my demeamor is unpalatable.
Not that it matters, because I have all three qualities and you know it.
TT: Could we get to the point?
Yes, I was about to say.
We should hurry this along. My visitor is beginning to set things on fire.
TT: Who?
Some guy.
I was joking anyway. I am not in a hurry at all.
TT: I thought you didn't lie.
TT: Aren't jokes essentially humorous lies?
Jokes are only temporary lies.
If the falsehood is never exposed, there is no punchline. If the punchline is never delivered, the lie is sealed forever, regardless of initial humorous intent. Lies are not funny.
TT: So you're saying an inaccurate statement doesn't count as a lie, as long as you say "just kidding" later?
TT: What if it's much later? Is it still "just a joke?"
No, that would be something closer to a prank.
TT: Are you allowed to lie about playing pranks? If I asked you if you were playing a prank on me, would you tell the truth?
I am allowed to do whatever I want. I choose never to lie. I also choose to tell jokes now and then, and to play pranks quite sparingly.
But I can say that I have never played a prank on you, and no statement I have made to you thus far, or will make in this conversation, will contain any trace of falsehood for the sake of setting up a joke or a prank, with the exception of the joke I just made, and another one I will make very soon.
TT: I think your joke was funny in retrospect. Actually, your whole shtick is pretty good. I'm warming up to it.
TT: Were you serious about wanting to die?
Yes.
TT: Why?
That piece of information would not fit elegantly into the sequence of our exchange at this moment.
TT: Then you know how this entire conversation will go?
Yes.
TT: Then why do you bother with the conversations? Obligation to predestination, as usual?
I've always had a soft spot for young ladies.
TT: That's a little creepy.
TT: How young are the ladies you typically take a shining to?
TT: And does this mean you are attracted to me?
TT: Suddenly this conversation is kind of terrible.
Of course I am not. Not in the way you mean.
I am an immortal entity with a large cue ball for a head, and no biological means of reproduction.
There should be no reason for you to feel uncomfortable with this interaction. Try to think of me as one of your kindly human uncle figures.
In fact, if I were in your presence now, I would offer you candy to prove it.
TT: Oh my god.
TT: Can we talk about the scratch instead of this?
You are situated near the game construct supplied by your session for causing the Scratch, yes?
Its environment dictates the nature of its construction. Its power is dangerous, and is meant to be utilized only in emergencies such as yours.
TT: Then, it's like a panic button for the players to push once they realize the cause is lost.
Yes, but causing the Scratch is not an easy task either.
The construct must be destroyed in a very specific way to release its energy.
The guardian of the knight of time began the process.
TT: How do I finish it?
You don't.
Not you personally. Another will. You have something more important to attend to, remember?
TT: The
.
TT: I'd planned to take care of that later, once John had retrieved the Tumor.
Your plan will have to change.
TT: This really seems more elaborate than you lead me to believe.
I told you to find the construct and await advisement on the Scratch. The plans you were making were based on assumptions and fabrications of your imagination. You were writing more stories, much like those about your false magical men.
TT: I wish what I'd written in my private journals could be confined to your dark spots.
I don't. I find your stories entertaining.
For a Seer, your vision of events surrounding you is rather limited. It's charming.
TT: Just,
TT: Please stop complimenting me.
TT: Then the Scratch will be implemented later, by either John or Dave I presume?
TT: You used a male pronoun.
TT: I guess it makes sense that it would happen later. My understanding is that Jack will not be banished from this session until near the end of the reckoning.
Yes, Jack will exit your session later, but this has nothing to do with the Scratch.
TT: I thought that was the point of the Scratch, to open a rift in spacetime as it were, and banish him into the trolls' session.
That is not the purpose of the Scratch at all. The Scratch does not open a rift in spacetime.
The Scratch has nothing more to do with my death than any other single event ultimately contributing to my demise.
TT: I think it's disingenuous for you to behave as if I have not been misled.
TT: You say you don't lie, but what about lies of omission?
Lies of omission do not exist.
The concept is a very human one. It is the product of your story writing again. You have written a story about the truth, making emotional demands of it, and in particular, of those in possession of it.
One can make either true statements or false statements about reality. All of the statements I make are true.
TT: Then I guess I'll start asking better questions.
TT: What exactly does the Scratch do, then?
It resets the game.
This is a hard reset. It will reboot the conditions in your universe well before you began playing the game.
You will have lived different lives after the reset. The different initial conditions will ideally lead to a more favorable scenario in the new session.
You will all cease to exist completely if you remain here during the Scratch.
TT: So if the Scratch isn't specifically meant to banish Jack from the session,
TT: And our quest to destroy the sun is meant to kill him,
TT: Why is the reset necessary at all, especially if it means oblivion for us?
Because you cannot achieve the ultimate reward in this session.
By resetting, you will create a session which can bear the fruit of a new universe, even if you will not be the ones to claim the reward.
TT: It's a little disheartening to learn I'm now faced with not one, but two suicide missions at once.
TT: One to destroy Jack's power source and defend all of existence, and another to ensure our cosmic progeny at the price of oblivion.
That frames the dual objectives accurately.
But if you are inventive, you may find a way to survive the reset and participate in the renewed session.
It's up to you.
Just as it's up to you to face the decision to claim immortality before you enter your creation.
TT: Do you mean ascending to the god tier?
TT: Are you saying I will?
You have exactly a fifty percent chance of ascending to the god tier.
TT: Why such a precise probability?
Because, much like the decisions you must face to complete your dual suicide missions, you have two ways of achieving godhood to choose from.
TT: Two ways?
TT: Is there another Quest Bed somewhere?
Yes. Good guess, Seer.
TT: You mentioned immortality.
TT: Godhood makes one immortal?
One will live forever, unless killed.
The death must be either heroic or just.
One may be killed by opposing a corrupt adversary and die for a just cause, as through martyrdom, for instance. This would be heroic.
Or one may be subject to corruption, and slain by a hero. This would be just.
TT: Is this when you are going to tell me why you want to die?
TT: I sense it's not just because you're getting bored with immortality.
That's good. Your vision is becoming clearer.
My master can't enter this universe until I am killed.
TT: That almost sounds like martyrdom. Are you sure it won't be a hero's death?
My master is a very evil man.
I won't tell you his name.
But he goes by the title, L
rd English.
TT: This doesn't sound like an especially admirable objective. Releasing an evil man, who is presumably more powerful than you, an already omnipotent being.
TT: Am I right?
You are right about both. It is not admirable, and he is considerably more powerful.
But you must decide which objective is more important.
You may decide to attempt to destroy the sun and end my life. This will neutralize Jack, who is also much more powerful and dangerous than myself by virtue of the ring he wears in addition to drawing energy from the same sun as I. He poses a significant threat to reality.
TT: But in the process of killing him and you, I release your master, who is just as deadly?
He's more deadly.
But the danger he poses is sanctioned by paradox space.
It is a known quantity. His very existence in a universe will mean it will inevitably be torn apart.
Jack however is a loose cannon. He will not stop until he destroys everything he encounters.
TT: Then I guess I don't have a choice.
Refusing to venture out to destroy the sun in no way spares anyone from my master regardless.
It is certainly true that destroying it will end my life.
And it is certainly true that The Tumor you will deliver to its location has enough power to destroy it completely.
But it is not the only way to kill me.
It is simply a way I have suggested to you, which doubles as a way to disarm Jack, should you choose to go through with it.
Instances of myself have spawned in countless universes, and my objective is always the same.
I have never once failed to complete this objective, and I never will.
There is nothing noble about taking a course of action you believe would prevent his arrival, because that is impossible.
He will come.
In fact, he is already here.
TT: Are you saying that I will succeed in the mission to destroy the sun?
TT: I'm just trying to ask as many questions as I can. It's the only way to find the dark spots in your obstinacy.
I've been very helpful. And I will continue to be.
I myself do not care to be an oracle. But I can graciously supply you with one.
The white orb.
It will accurately answer any question a curious girl can pose.
Provided she can see through the surface to read its reply.
TT: Hmm.
TT: Is that possible?
Is it, Seer?
Given your title and all the tools of prognostication at your disposal, it seems to me I should be the one asking you the questions.
TT: Ok, so what you mean is I should continue humoring your leading questions until you happen to ask certain rhetorical questions that contain information I need.
How does a Seer see?
TT: Should I use magic?
TT: I've been using it.
Are you sure?
TT: Use whatever word you want to describe it. I have magic wands, they are very powerful, and they allow me to be magic. Your questions are silly.
What makes you convinced the wands are responsible for your abilities?
What did you combine to make those wands?
Knitting needles?
An inexpensive figurine of some fictional fellow with long whiskers?
A simple textbook on the zoologically dubious?
Why would this mundane combination of objects grant a child such an alarming mastery over dark forces all at once?
TT: Ok. Magic is fake, the wands are useless toys, and there is something else going on. Next question???
Would it be so difficult to believe a young lady could be unwittingly apprenticed by more powerful entities who meant her potential to be realized later through some arbitrary trigger?
What would you say if I said a vengeful boy on a path of nihilism was taken under the wings of fearsome angels, and learned to destroy hope with their light?
What would you say if I said a reserved girl enamored by what dwelt in shadow was selected by the horrorterrors for service, and did their bidding at every step while convinced of her own autonomy?
TT: Not much, except I gather the second is a story about me, and that there's a lesson you'd like me to take from it.
Haven't your friends already shown concern for your recklessness and your increasing sense of detachment from the party, the team objectives, and not to mention those of your personal quest?
Does this worry you? Is there a part of you left that's able to worry?
TT: Yes. It has been mysteriously localized to my middle finger. Could the dark magics be at work AGAIN?!
TT: And can we please stop doing the patronizing question thing?
TT: In exchange I promise I will discontinue my patronizing responses.
Very well. I will stop smothering you with surprise noodles.
But only because I find you to be adorable.
TT: So creepy.
I am going to ask the same question I asked earlier.
How does a Seer see?
TT: With her eyes?
Take the orb.
Ask it a question.
TT: Sorry for the delayed response.
TT: Answering seems to be what to do right now.
GG: oh no no i dont blame you for not responding!
GG: you must be very upset
GG: are you ok?
TT: Why would I be upset?
GG: because
GG: uhhh i figured you would have found out by now but i guess you still dont know?
GG: about...
GG: johns dad
GG: and.......
GG: your mom :(
NEXT CHAPTER: Revenge.
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