Let's Play Homestuck
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Act 5 Act 2: He Is Already Here.
Part 26: You're Supposed To Kill Her
AG: ........
AG: ........x8
AG: ........x8x8x8x8x8x8x8!!!!!!!!
AG: All of the dots, John. All 16.777216 million of them.
AG: Still dead, huh?
AG: Or are you too 8usy weeping over her corpse to pick up that headset and answer me????????
AG: You can't fool me, John. I know you are not staying dead for long.
AG: It's hard to keep a god dead for good. We can only die under very specific circumstances. Didn't I mention?
AG: Let me guess, even after all my lessons, you allowed yourself to get sucker sta88ed, right? Pretty lame!
AG: I mean, lucky for you it was lame. I guess 8eing lame pays off when dying a hero's what gets you killed.
AG: Anyway, I figure you're pro8a8ly safe from a just death too, since I'm pretty sure you haven't done anything all that despica8le.
AG: I don't know for sure, 8ut I'm 8etting that if I go to fight Jack, it will wipe out all the 8ad things I've done.
AG: I think if I die it'll 8e a hero's death, so it ought to stick.
AG: One way or another, I think this will 8e my last 8ig challenge as a gamer.
AG: As such, I would like to pass my dice on to you.
AG: 82THE8TH
AG: Use the code! I'm sure I can count on you to make something awesome with it.
AG: Ok, I guess I should mention why I'm trying to contact you now of all times, rather than just skipping ahead.
AG: Remem8er how we talked a8out your 8ackup plan? The one you have devised to defeat Jack, in the off chance I fail?
AG: Well, it's not going to work if Rose is dead, is it?
AG: You have to wake her up! 8reathe some life into her. Do the windy thing, with your lips!!!!!!!!
AG: Gotta kiss her.
AG: Don't worry, I still can't see you, so there is no reason to 8e 8ashful or anything.
AG: And since we are a couple of professionals here who are focused on winning, we 8oth know it doesn't have any meaning.
AG: It's not l8ke I would 8e jealous even if I could see.
AG: Why wo8ld I 8e?
AG: Or may8e that didn't even cr8ss your mind........ haha.
AG: M8n, why am I ev8n t8lking a8out th8s.
AG: Let's just forget I said that. This isn't really how I wanted this convers8tion to go!
AG: I guess I could just shut up and skip ahead on your timeline a little, talk to you when you're alive.
AG: That would make sense.
AG: So
AG: I guess
AG: I will do that.
AG: 8ut then........
AG: May8e if I did, I wouldn't actually say what I wanted to say.
AG: So
AG: I will just say it.
AG: To 8e honest, I am nervous a8out this fight.
AG: 8ut I'm still going through with it, for a lot of reasons.
AG: To save my friends, or at least the ones who are still alive. Oh, and I guess to save reality itself from 8eing totally fucked up. There's that too.
AG: 8ut I think what's motiv8ting me to win this fight the most is........
AG: The possi8ility of getting to meet you when it's all over!
AG: May8e I can finally put all this terri8le stuff 8ehind me.
AG: And I won't have to worry a8out 8eing the 8est anymore, or proving what a ruthless killer I can 8e.
AG: May8e I can try out whatever is supposed to 8e normal for a human. Who knows, it might not 8e as 8oring as it sounds!
AG: May8e
AG: If you're not too freaked out 8y all the 8ad things I've done........
AG: Or the fact that I am an alien
AG: We could go on a d8? ::::O
AG: Don't worry, it could 8e a human d8, whatever that entails.
AG: No weird alien stuff, I promise! And no killing or murders, or even talking a8out killing or murders and such. Just whatever you like to talk a8out and think is cool.
AG: I could even 8e persu8ed to watch more of your a8surd human films.
AG: Well, think it over.
AG: 8efore I go, I'll get in touch one more time l8er on, when you're alive and may8e have something to say a8out it.
AG: Oh yeah........
AG: Sorry a8out your adult male guardian. I wasn't trying to 8e deceptive 8y not telling you.
AG: I decided not to, 8ecause I didn't want to 8e the one to make you sad a8out it.
AG: You would have found out regardless. Like we all did. There are things we care a8out that we just have to leave 8ehind.
AG: W8.
AG: Someone's coming, hang on.
AG: Oh god.
AG: She's wearing her RP outfit! What the hell is she up to?
AG: Dammit, I've got to go deal with this now.
AG: Anyway, if you actually get around to reading any of this, thanks for listening, John.
AG: If my outrageously gr8 luck has any say in the matter, we will 8e meeting up in no time!
AG: Just please consider what I said.
AG: Ok........
AG: L8r! <33333333
Oh, for crying out loud.
Slick, I can tolerate many things from a guest.
Curt manners. Egregious womanizing. Murdering the help. Casual arson.
But it is the desecration of a priceless timepiece where I must draw the line. I'm afraid I must now insist that you take your beating quite personally.
TT: vriska, wait!
TT: oops, hold on.
EB: hey, are you there?
EB: you didn't fly off to fight jack yet, did you?
EB: anyway, all that stuff you said sounds fun to me, i have hells of the cage flicks in my library.
EB: i do not even care that you're an alien! you see, cage is the universal constant which unites us all.
EB: if you haven't flown away...
EB: i will look forward to your message in the future.
EB: it would be nice to talk, about...
EB: all this stuff that happened.
AG: OH MY FUCKING HELL, THIS IS SO INSANELY AWKWARD AND SAD.
EB: what is???
AG: HANG ON
CG: HEY.
EB: karkat!
EB: that was you?
EB: where is vriska?
CG: I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE FOR READING THIS WHOLE THING.
CG: SO LET ME ASK.
CG: DID YOU BOTH ACTUALLY LIKE EACH OTHER.
EB: um...
CG: LIKE I MEAN SOMETHING VAGUELY RESEMBLING ACTUAL GENUINE MUTUAL SENTIMENT OR WHATEVER, NOT SOME LOPSIDED PINING BULLSHIT.
CG: DID YOU LIKE HER, YOU WINDSOCK HEADED SHITMOUTH.
CG: IS WHAT I'M ASKING
EB: well...
EB: yeah. why?
CG: OK
CG: THAT'S FINE
CG: THEN
CG: WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER.
CG: I NEED YOU TO BE ABLE TO THINK STRAIGHT.
CG: WE HAVE IMPORTANT SHIT TO GO OVER, AND I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
EB: like what?
CG: NEVER MIND THAT. FIRST, GET OUT OF THE FUCKING BLACKOUT TO A PLACE WHERE I CAN SEE YOU.
CG: LEAVE NOW, I'LL CONTACT YOU IN A WHILE, ONCE YOU'VE LANDED.
EB: landed where?
CG: LOHAC. OBVIOUSLY.
CG: DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY CLUE WHAT'S GOING ON?
CG: WAIT, OF COURSE YOU DON'T, YOU ARE WEARING PAJAMAS AND GIGGLING AT CLOUDS LIKE EACH ONE WAS SHAPED LIKE THE RUDEST BIT OF NAKED ANATOMY A HUMAN CAN RECOGNIZE.
EB: no i'm not!
EB: i mean, yes, i am wearing some pretty nice pajamas.
EB: but i know lots of things, like about the tumor, which i have already recovered...
CG: GREAT, AWESOME, NOW GET GOING.
CG: OK, I'M DONE HERE. TALK TO YOU IN ONE SECOND FOR ME, ONE LONG WINDY FUCKING JOURNEY FOR YOU.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB]
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]
EB: hi!
EB: aren't you going to ask me how my journey was?
CG: OH, I BET IT IS JUST THE BIGGEST FUCKING BLAST A GUY CAN HAVE WITHOUT A PAIR OF SHAME GLOBES SECURED IN HIS TWO TREMBLING FISTS.
CG: EVERY DOUCHE GOT TO FLY BUT ME, EVEN THE CRIPPLE.
EB: wait, is that the guy who vriska killed?
CG: OH GOD, YOU ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT THAT?
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, I GIVE THE FUCK UP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND YOU AND HER.
CG: A BUNCH OF US DIED, THE END.
CG: I DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
CG: I JUST GOT DONE
CG: UH
CG: DEALING WITH GAMZEE
CG: AND I'M FEELING PRETTY EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT. SO PLEASE, NO.
EB: who is gamzee?
CG: HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.
CG: GAMZEE WAS MY VERY GOOD FRIEND, WHO WAS THIS GOOFY LOVEABLE BULLSHIT CLOWN UNTIL HE WENT PSYCHO AND KILLED SOME PEOPLE. I LIKED HIM A LOT.
CG: I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS MY BEST FRIEND IS REALLY JUST THE GUY WHO I HAPPEN TO BE FEELING MOST SENTIMENTAL TO AT THE MOMENT, IS THAT A FUCKING CRIME.
EB: i think i know how you feel.
EB: so he killed some people... and then what?
CG: JOHN, TRUST ME. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
CG: IT'S JUST A TROLL THING, HUMANS WOULDN'T GET IT.
EB: ok, if you say so.
EB: oh!!!
EB: i can't believe i almost forgot, i've been dying to know since i left the battlefield...
EB: do you know if rose is ok?
CG: SHE'S FINE.
CG: SHE WOKE UP ALIVE ON DERSE.
EB: really??
CG: IT'S INCREDIBLE YOU REACHED GOD TIER STATUS WITHOUT EVEN UNDERSTANDING THE MORE MUNDANE MEANS OF RESURRECTION AVAILABLE.
EB: so, i guess...
EB: it would not have worked on my dad then?
EB: or rose's mom... :(
CG: NO, BUT THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO PICTURE HAPPENING BEHIND THE BLACK CURTAIN, JOHN.
CG: YOU SNOGGING UP YOUR DEAD HATTED MAN LUSUS. THANK YOU FOR THAT MENTAL IMAGE.
CG: OR ROSE'S ADULT WOMAN LUSUS. MAYBE A DEAD WOMAN SWEEPS YOUR SENIOR IS MORE YOUR CUP OF SAUCE, SINCE APPARENTLY YOU ARE "NOT A HOMOSEXUAL", WHATEVER THAT EVEN MEANS, NOT EVEN TO SPEAK OF YOUR RACE'S ABSURD QUALMS WITH THE NOTION OF INCEST, WHICH AGAIN, STILL SORT OF WONDERING HOW THAT CAN EVEN BE A THING.
EB: er...
CG: WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE
CG: WE CAN'T HAVE YOU GETTING ALL MOROSE WHILE WE'VE GOT SO MANY IRONS IN THE FIRE.
CG: JUST CLAM YOUR SHIT UP AND FORGET YOUR STUPID GUARDIAN, LIKE I DID WITH MY DEAR CRAB MONSTER CUSTODIAN, WHO I ADORED IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER.
EB: you are being a douche!!!
EB: wait, what am i saying, you are always a douche, hehe.
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
CG: WE WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
CG: ROSE, REMEMBER.
CG: SHE IS WAITING ON DERSE FOR YOUR BOMB TO BE DELIVERED.
EB: how do you know it gets there?
CG: JADE TOLD ME.
CG: JADE FROM FURTHER AHEAD ON YOUR TIMELINE.
CG: BEFORE MY PIECE OF SHIT CLOWN-BRO MADE EVERYTHING TERRIBLE HERE, SHE AND I WERE HAMMERING OUT THESE PLANS.
CG: ANYWAY, SHE AND DAVE DO A LOT OF FROG BREEDING, ACCELERATING THE PROCESS SIGNIFICANTLY BY EXPLOITING TIME TRAVEL, WITH HELP FROM ME AND KANAYA, SINCE WE WERE IN CHARGE OF FROG DUTIES IN OUR SESSION.
EB: frog duties???
EB: wait, which one is kanaya again?
CG: DON'T INTERRUPT, I AM FOLLOWING A TRAIN OF THOUGHT.
CG: OK, KANAYA IS MY OTHER BEST FRIEND, AND SHE WAS THE HERO OF SPACE LIKE JADE WHICH MEANS SHE'S THE STOKER OF THE FORGE AND IS BASICALLY IN CHARGE OF FROGS, WHICH SOUNDS RETARDED, I KNOW. YOU BREED THE RIGHT FROG TO MAKE THE UNIVERSE YOU WANT TO MAKE, WHICH IS A LONG ARDUOUS PROCESS AND I KIND OF FUCKED IT UP IN MY GAME, BUT THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER STORY WHICH I'LL GET TO LATER, OK?
CG: SHE AND DAVE RAN INTO JACK, WHICH I'M SURE HE MUST HAVE SAW COMING BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE EXPLOIT TIME TRAVEL SO SHAMELESSLY AS HIM, NOT EVEN ARADIA.
CG: SO SHE AND DAVE FOUGHT WITH HIM A WHILE, AND LONG STORY SHORT, HE DIED.
EB: what!!!
EB: did she kiss him too? :O
CG: YEAH.
CG: RIGHT THERE, WHILE JACK WATCHED LIKE A FUCKING CREEP.
CG: BUT IT WORKED.
EB: omg, karkat. it is like your shitty shipping grid is coming true before our very eyes.
CG: WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT SHIPPING, OR MY LUDICROUS STRANGLEHOLD OVER ALL TOPICS CONCERNING ROMANCE, I'M STILL TALKING.
CG: HE WOKE UP ALIVE ON DERSE, AND MET WITH ROSE.
CG: THAT WAS THE END OF THE LINE FOR ALPHA DAVE. TO MY KNOWLEDGE, HE DOESN'T TIME TRAVEL AFTER THAT, AND HE AND ROSE STAY ON DERSE WAITING FOR THE BOMB UNTIL YOU START THE SCRATCH. BUT I CAN'T SEE EITHER OF THEM BECAUSE OF THE BLACKOUT LINGERING AROUND ROSE FOR WHATEVER REASON. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT'S UP WITH THAT.
CG: REGARDLESS, HIS JOB IS TO PLOT A COURSE THROUGH THE RING TO FIND THE SUN.
EB: but now they don't have dream selves left!
EB: who ever goes will be risking their life for good, won't they?
EB: couldn't i do it?
EB: i am apparently immortal, because of this god tier business, so the bomb probably would not kill me!
CG: OK, BUT DON'T YOU THINK THERE'S A REMOTE POSSIBILITY THAT GOING ON A SUICIDE MISSION TO SAVE ALL OF REALITY WOULD COUNT AS A HEROIC DEATH?
EB: i just don't want to lose anybody else is all.
CG: THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS. I'VE LOST FRIENDS FOR WAY MORE POINTLESS REASONS. YOU'RE ALL OUT OF OPTIONS HERE.
CG: YOU'D BE RISKING DEATH JUST AS MUCH AS THEY WOULD, AND THEY'RE BETTER QUALIFIED TO HANDLE THE MISSION AS THE DERSE DREAMERS.
CG: JADE'S DREAM SELF IS DEAD TOO, SO SHE'S OUT. OR TO BE MORE SPECIFIC, HER DREAM SELF IS AN OVERLY EMOTIONAL DOG WHO WENT OFF WHIMPERING SOMEWHERE. I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WILL BE COMPLETELY USELESS.
CG: SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT. KIND OF A SORE SUBJECT.
CG: I'VE TRIED TO TELL HER THAT HER SPRITE SELF IS PROBABLY NOWHERE NEAR AS DESPICABLE AS SHE'S MAKING OUT WITH HERSELF TO BE.
CG: I MEAN
CG: MAKING HERSELF OUT TO BE.
EB: ...
CG: AND FOR ALL THE SHIT SHE'S GIVEN ME ON THIS VERY SUBJECT, SHE KEEPS HERSELF DANGLING FROM A VERY HIGH HOOK.
CG: SHE'D BE DOING ME A MAJOR PERSONAL SOLID BY MAKING AT LEAST SOME ATTEMPT TO GET HERSELF OFF.
CG: WAIT
CG: FUCK
CG: WHAT DID I JUST SAY
CG: I MEANT LET HERSELF OFF.
CG: THE HOOK. THE FUCKING HOOK, IT'S A FIGURE OF GODDAMN SPEECH.
EB: /raises eyebrows
CG: PUT THOSE THE BACK DOWN, BEFORE MY HOT ACID RAGEBREATH BURNS THEM OFF YOUR IDIOTIC FACE.
CG: WHAT WERE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT, IT WASN'T THIS, WHATEVER THIS IS.
EB: what i am getting from this, aside from the possibility that jade may or may not have kissed dog jade at some point, is that neither of them will be able to help with the bomb plan.
CG: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT! THE PAJAMA PRODIGY USED HIS PUZZLE SPONGE TODAY.
CG: BESIDES, JADE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER IMPORTANT PARTS OF THE PLAN.
CG: FOR ONE THING, YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR HER TO SEND YOU THE CODE FOR THE QUILLS.
CG: YOU CAN'T SCRATCH THE MESA WITHOUT THEM.
CG: SHE GOT THEM FROM HER DENIZEN, OR WILL LATER ON HER TIMELINE, NOW THAT SHE LIT THE FORGE AND WOKE THE MONSTER UP.
CG: AFTER SHE GIVES THAT TO YOU, SHE THEN HAS TO GO THROUGH WITH THE REST OF THE PLAN, WHICH IS MAKING SURE YOU ALL SURVIVE AFTER THE SCRATCH, MINUS ONE OF THE DERSE DREAMERS OF COURSE.
CG: THE POINT IS, SHE'S ALL BOOKED UP, AND ALL TOO MORTAL. SO SHE WON'T BE DELIVERING THE BOMB, AND NEITHER WILL YOU.
EB: ok, well what about this.
EB: since she is mortal, and i am not (sort of), and i don't need to do the scratch for a while, can i go help her?
EB: maybe she could use some protection? maybe that is what dave was just trying to do, when he temporarily died.
EB: remember, jack is still on the loose! he has killed rose and dave once, and me twice.
CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO.
CG: SWEET BLEEDING JEGUS, EGBERT, YOU KEEP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR IMMORTALITY, AND THEN BRAINLESSLY ANNOUNCE PLANS TO GO OFF AND DO SOMETHING HEROIC! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE SHORTEST LIFESPAN OF ANY IMMORTAL IN HISTORY.
CG: IF ANYTHING, YOU COULD USE HER PROTECTION.
CG: I NEVER NOTICED WHEN LOOKING THROUGH HER TIMELINE EARLIER. IT WASN'T UNTIL I WAS TALKING TO HER IN THOSE TIMEFRAMES AND SHE TOLD ME. HE JUST KEEPS FOLLOWING HER AROUND. I CAN SEE HIM OFF IN THE DISTANCE IN SOME FRAMES, JUST LURKING THERE, SHADOWING HER MOVEMENTS. IT'S INCREDIBLY DISTURBING.
CG: HE LINGERS AROUND HER UNTIL THE SCRATCH BEGINS AND I LOSE THE FEED, NEVER ONCE DOING ANYTHING THREATENING. SHE SAYS SHE THINKS IT'S BECAUSE JACK INHERITED LOYALTY OF HER LUSUS.
CG: IF SHE'S RIGHT, I GUESS HER LUSUS REALLY DID OFFER HER THE MOST PROTECTION POSSIBLE BY PROTOTYPING ITSELF, ALBEIT BY DOOMING US ALL. THE IDIOT.
CG: SADLY, HE HOLDS NO SUCH LOYALTY TO ANY OF US HERE. HE REGARDS US ALL AS RIPE FOR THE REPEATED SKEWERING.
CG: ANYWAY, IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.
CG: IF WE CAN RIDE THIS OUT FOR A LITTLE LONGER UNTIL THE CRITICAL MOMENT, AND DAVE/ROSE CAN DESTROY THE SUN, JACK SHOULDN'T BE A THREAT.
CG: APPARENTLY THE EXPLOSION WILL BE SO HUGE, IT WILL BE VISIBLE AT GREAT DISTANCES THROUGHOUT THE FURTHEST RING.
CG: EVEN FROM DIFFERENT SESSIONS, LIKE YOURS AND OURS. YOU WON'T GET TO SEE IT BECAUSE BY THEN YOUR SESSION SHOULD BE WIPED OUT BY THE SCRATCH.
CG: BUT WE WILL. THE PLAN IS TO USE IT AS A BEACON, AND TRAVEL THERE AS A RENDEZVOUS POINT.
CG: SO YEAH, WE'LL MEET IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE EXPLOSION WITH OUR PEOPLE ON THE INSIDE, OR I GUESS I SHOULD SAY OUTSIDE.
CG: I DON'T THINK THEY CAN COME WITH US THOUGH.
EB: come with you where? who are they?
CG: DEAD PEOPLE.
CG: THE SCRATCH WILL REBOOT YOUR SESSION. YOUR WHOLE UNIVERSE ACTUALLY. SO SOMEWHERE IN THIS DREADFUL ABYSS, THAT NEW SESSION WILL START UP IN ITS OWN INCIPISPHERE, FROM SCRATCH.
CG: THE IDEA IS FOR YOU ALL TO PRESERVE YOURSELVES BY ESCAPING THERE.
CG: ONCE YOU'RE THERE, YOU WILL HELP US FIND OUR WAY THERE TOO, AND THEN WE CAN ALL FINALLY FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WITH THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
EB: so then, this is how we're supposed to meet. that is kind of exciting.
EB: so, i guess you are not worried about it turning into a huge sloppy makeout fest anymore...
CG: UH
CG: RIGHT! HAHAHA, JOHN, YOU AND VRISKA BETTER KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELVES, OR EVERYONE'S GOING TO BE REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. NO INTERSPECIES FUNNYBUSINESS, IS THAT CLEAR!
CG: BLAAAAAAARGH, I AM CONVINCINGLY FLIPPING MY LID ABOUT THIS, WAVING MY ARMS AROUND A LOT, AND MAKING ALL MY BEST YELLING FACES. WOW, LOOK AT THAT! IT'S TIME TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT AGAIN.
CG: POOF! SUBJECT CHANGED.
CG: IF IT WORKS AND YOU WIND UP IN THE NEW SESSION, THAT'S WHY IT'LL BE IMPORTANT TO MAKE SURE ONE OF THE DERSE DREAMERS STAYS WITH YOU, SO THEY CAN HELP GUIDE US THERE FROM THE RING.
EB: won't there be other players in the new session?
EB: like, alternate universe versions of ourselves or such?
EB: if rose or dave have to go off and die, at least i get to see them again, in a way.
EB: even if i will only be alternate universe john to them.
EB: maybe my dad will be alive in that session too!!!
CG: OK, MAYBE, BUT BEFORE YOU GET TOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT, YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE SURE YOU GET THERE FIRST.
CG: WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY, AND STICK TO THE PLAN.
CG: YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON GETTING READY TO START THE SCRATCH. THE GAME DOESN'T MAKE A HARD RESET THAT EASY TO PULL OFF.
CG: ONCE YOU INITIATE IT, THE GAME THROWS EVERYTHING IT'S GOT AT YOU. WHICH IS ONE REASON WHY YOU'RE THE BEST GUY FOR THE JOB, BECAUSE OF YOUR SUPERPOWERS AND SILLY WINDY BULLSHIT.
EB: ok. i'll do my best.
CG: WAIT FOR JADE TO SEND THAT CODE, WAIT FOR ME TO CONTACT YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND DO YOUR BEST TO HUMOR HIM WHILE HE IGNORANTLY ATTEMPTS TO FLAME YOU BACK INTO THE PUDDLE OF SLIME YOU CRAWLED OUT OF.
CG: PLEASE.
EB: oh, man.
EB: our "first" conversation ever? i can't wait.
CG: YEAH, BUT CAN I JUST SAY SOMETHING IN MY DEFENSE BEFORE THAT HAPPENS?
CG: I DON'T ACTUALLY HATE YOU, AND I NEVER DID. I WAS DELUDING MYSELF.
CG: DEEP DOWN I'M SURE I WAS ALWAYS PRETTY OK WITH YOU.
EB: thanks karkat!
CG: IT WASN'T A FUCKING COMPLIMENT.
Jack, you let me down.
I thought I could rely on you of all people.
To do what it is you do best.
Now leave, and never darken my door again.
Will you look at this mess.
The scrapbook is in hopeless disarray.
I'll be busy tidying up for a while. Feel free to look through these clippings yourself in the meantime.
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