LONG AND TEDIOUS FLY BMI CHECK-IN SAGA
This post is going to go all over the place. Scroll down for the BMI shenanigans.
MOVIES
I got back late Friday and have been sleeping pretty much all weekend. I nearly missed my flight from Tokyo to London because I got lost at the airport, but the Virgin rep found me and was very kind (it was 25 mins before take-off and I was in tears by then since, as I understood it, boarding closes 30 mins before take-off). I was terrified I was going to be marooned in Japan.
The flight itself was long and tiring but otherwise fine. I watched three movies, which is more than I've seen in the last year.
Quotes from the movies:-
Now, I'm going to be a teensy bit dangerous here and say that I intend watching more movies from now on, seeing as how much I enjoyed those ones. Here are the ones I want to see next:-
REMEMBER NARITA?
Back on 3rd Feb, I mentioned some fermented soya beans, although I didn't know at the time that they were a) soya or b) fermented:-
I've just had breakfast. There was a little tub of beans which, when I stuck my spoon in, were all mixed up in this clear stringy goo like runny snot. They tasted disgusting. There was a sachet of mustard so I mixed that in and they tasted even worse.
Well anyway, there's this guy called Steve who thinks they're disgusting too. Here's his pic:
What I really like about Steve is that he has this running section on his blog called Steve, Don't Eat It! where he tastes various weird and disgusting stuff then reports on the experience. I found him because of Mel's silkworm-pupae-as-food post; he eats those too.
BACK AT HEATHROW
- LONG AND TEDIOUS FLY BMI CHECK-IN SAGA
Those tunnels, the ones from the arrival gate to baggage collection and the tunnels between terminals 1 and 3, they go on for miles. I had no idea. By the time I got to the BMI check-yourself-in terminal I could hardly stand up. I'd checked myself in online for the Tokyo-London flight, but I couldn't do that for the London-Manchester flight because I was up in an airplane at the time when BMI's check-in opened. So here I am, at the quick-check-in machine and the screen says Do you want to exit check-in? Yes No. Obviously, whoever was on last forgot to exit properly, I thought, so I clicked the Yes button.
It then wanted my name, booking ref, passport number, yada yada yada, all of which I entered, and it found my flight number and time and said did I want to check in? and I said Yes. Did I want to check anyone else in? and I said No. Did I want to exit check in? Yes? No? Aha! I thought, this is where I came in - I'll log off properly. So I clicked Yes! I do want to exit check in, seeing as how I've just checked in.
I then went to the BMI baggage drop off point to - cunningly enough - attempt to drop off my baggage. The BMI woman asked me for my boarding card. I said I didn't have one. She said, "You need to check in at that machine over there." I said I have checked in. She said, "You can't have, otherwise you'd have a boarding card." I said, I did check in, but at no stage did it print a boarding card. But never mind, you can give me a boarding card here, right?
She then did a massive *eyeroll* Well, no, actually, she couldn't give me a boarding card - I had to go to the slow line, the one for people who haven't checked in yet1. I resisted saying But I did check in and went to stand in the slow line.
Eventually I got to the slow line desk and the new BMI woman asked me for my boarding pass. I explained that even though I checked in using the machine, for some reason it didn't print me a boarding card, but hey, never mind, she could give me a boarding pass and take my luggage, right?
Or at least, that's what I tried to say. I got as far as the word "machine" before the new BMI woman gave an even bigger *eyeroll* and said - raising her voice to talk over the top of what I was trying to say - "No, you didn't check in, Madam. That machine always prints a boarding card, therefore if you have no boarding card, you didn't check in."
I'm like, wtf? Stupidly, I tried again; I tried to explain what it had said on the screen and which button I'd clicked... and once again, she started talking over the top of me, louder and louder now because I was determined to get to the end of my sentence. She said "Don't try to tell me what the machine does or does not do, Madam, since I work here2 I know exactly what the machine does, if you did not print out a boarding card then you did not use the machine since it always prints a card.
I said, Are you gonna let me finish my sentence?
"Of course, MADAM, and if you did use the machine then you didn't use it Properly".
And I'm thinking, since when did the word Madam become an insult? Do BMI know their staff are being so rude to customers? Is it just me, because I'm too exhausted to operate a simple touchscreen Properly, or is she being a bitch? And then I noticed that it'd gone quiet and neither one of us was talking.
And I started to say Are you gonna give me a boarding card? And the second I opened my mouth she was in there, talking right over the top of me again.
Anyway, in the end she did give me a boarding card, otherwise I'd still be there now and they'd be bringing on the towels and slices of orange.
I've half a mind to write to BMI, but I really can't be arsed, and what would they do about it? Nothing, I don't suppose. My suitcase arrived just fine, so she can't have had her Hex-Vision3 turned full on.
_________
1 which begs the question, why aren't they using the machine? Maybe they did use the machine and they didn't get boarding cards either. Maybe it's a huge conspiracy to - um, I dunno what, I'll work on that one and get back.
2 I resisted the urge to say "Oh Really? Y'know, there was I thinking it's me who works here and you who's the customer," but I doubt she'd've heard me anyhow.
3Mr Flibble is very angry.
MOVIES
I got back late Friday and have been sleeping pretty much all weekend. I nearly missed my flight from Tokyo to London because I got lost at the airport, but the Virgin rep found me and was very kind (it was 25 mins before take-off and I was in tears by then since, as I understood it, boarding closes 30 mins before take-off). I was terrified I was going to be marooned in Japan.
The flight itself was long and tiring but otherwise fine. I watched three movies, which is more than I've seen in the last year.
Quotes from the movies:-
- You think this is funny?
Well, Terry, it sure as shit ain't sad. - Da da da da da da da da da da
- I am Shiva, the god of death.
Now, I'm going to be a teensy bit dangerous here and say that I intend watching more movies from now on, seeing as how much I enjoyed those ones. Here are the ones I want to see next:-
- The Matrix (again; I watched it once but have completely forgotten it).
- The Matrix Reloaded (if you guys reckon it's any good)
- The Matrix Revolutions (ditto)
- Memoirs of a Geisha (I've read the book)
- Lost in Translation
REMEMBER NARITA?
Back on 3rd Feb, I mentioned some fermented soya beans, although I didn't know at the time that they were a) soya or b) fermented:-
I've just had breakfast. There was a little tub of beans which, when I stuck my spoon in, were all mixed up in this clear stringy goo like runny snot. They tasted disgusting. There was a sachet of mustard so I mixed that in and they tasted even worse.
Well anyway, there's this guy called Steve who thinks they're disgusting too. Here's his pic:
What I really like about Steve is that he has this running section on his blog called Steve, Don't Eat It! where he tastes various weird and disgusting stuff then reports on the experience. I found him because of Mel's silkworm-pupae-as-food post; he eats those too.
BACK AT HEATHROW
- LONG AND TEDIOUS FLY BMI CHECK-IN SAGA
Those tunnels, the ones from the arrival gate to baggage collection and the tunnels between terminals 1 and 3, they go on for miles. I had no idea. By the time I got to the BMI check-yourself-in terminal I could hardly stand up. I'd checked myself in online for the Tokyo-London flight, but I couldn't do that for the London-Manchester flight because I was up in an airplane at the time when BMI's check-in opened. So here I am, at the quick-check-in machine and the screen says Do you want to exit check-in? Yes No. Obviously, whoever was on last forgot to exit properly, I thought, so I clicked the Yes button.
It then wanted my name, booking ref, passport number, yada yada yada, all of which I entered, and it found my flight number and time and said did I want to check in? and I said Yes. Did I want to check anyone else in? and I said No. Did I want to exit check in? Yes? No? Aha! I thought, this is where I came in - I'll log off properly. So I clicked Yes! I do want to exit check in, seeing as how I've just checked in.
I then went to the BMI baggage drop off point to - cunningly enough - attempt to drop off my baggage. The BMI woman asked me for my boarding card. I said I didn't have one. She said, "You need to check in at that machine over there." I said I have checked in. She said, "You can't have, otherwise you'd have a boarding card." I said, I did check in, but at no stage did it print a boarding card. But never mind, you can give me a boarding card here, right?
She then did a massive *eyeroll* Well, no, actually, she couldn't give me a boarding card - I had to go to the slow line, the one for people who haven't checked in yet1. I resisted saying But I did check in and went to stand in the slow line.
Eventually I got to the slow line desk and the new BMI woman asked me for my boarding pass. I explained that even though I checked in using the machine, for some reason it didn't print me a boarding card, but hey, never mind, she could give me a boarding pass and take my luggage, right?
Or at least, that's what I tried to say. I got as far as the word "machine" before the new BMI woman gave an even bigger *eyeroll* and said - raising her voice to talk over the top of what I was trying to say - "No, you didn't check in, Madam. That machine always prints a boarding card, therefore if you have no boarding card, you didn't check in."
I'm like, wtf? Stupidly, I tried again; I tried to explain what it had said on the screen and which button I'd clicked... and once again, she started talking over the top of me, louder and louder now because I was determined to get to the end of my sentence. She said "Don't try to tell me what the machine does or does not do, Madam, since I work here2 I know exactly what the machine does, if you did not print out a boarding card then you did not use the machine since it always prints a card.
I said, Are you gonna let me finish my sentence?
"Of course, MADAM, and if you did use the machine then you didn't use it Properly".
And I'm thinking, since when did the word Madam become an insult? Do BMI know their staff are being so rude to customers? Is it just me, because I'm too exhausted to operate a simple touchscreen Properly, or is she being a bitch? And then I noticed that it'd gone quiet and neither one of us was talking.
And I started to say Are you gonna give me a boarding card? And the second I opened my mouth she was in there, talking right over the top of me again.
Anyway, in the end she did give me a boarding card, otherwise I'd still be there now and they'd be bringing on the towels and slices of orange.
I've half a mind to write to BMI, but I really can't be arsed, and what would they do about it? Nothing, I don't suppose. My suitcase arrived just fine, so she can't have had her Hex-Vision3 turned full on.
_________
1 which begs the question, why aren't they using the machine? Maybe they did use the machine and they didn't get boarding cards either. Maybe it's a huge conspiracy to - um, I dunno what, I'll work on that one and get back.
2 I resisted the urge to say "Oh Really? Y'know, there was I thinking it's me who works here and you who's the customer," but I doubt she'd've heard me anyhow.
3Mr Flibble is very angry.