No Fear
I woke up angry today at 9:55 and I have no idea why. That is a lie. I know exactly why. Caley was calling me because he a)wanted me to come downtown and buy him lunch (well, I don't actually know if he wanted me to buy him lunch, or just have lunch, but I suspect he wanted me to buy it) and b)so he could tell me Frank was mad (at me? at him? He didn't say). I then hung up the phone and tried to go back to sleep only to have it ring again. I give in. I get up. So now I'm up and there's nothing to do. Not that there wasn't, but I've already killed all the time I could easily on the internet without resorting to LJ. So LJ it is. I haven't written seriously on here in months. I kept feeling like anything I say would be some asshole whining/gloating on the internet, so what's the fucking point. Also I didn't know how to really talk about the things I wanted to on such a ridiculous venue as this without trivializing them, so I didn't. For those of you that don't know, which, if you don't you probably don't actually know me or read my entrys, my girlfriend got hit by a car at the end of February. She was in the hospital for some amount of time and then staying at her parents house. It was a really rough time for her. It was also a rough time for me but I mean, I was ok. So now, now, now, now. We've been together pushing 8 months and we're really happy. We make each other really happy She's back in her apt, back on her feet and back to being young and in love. See I told you I'd come off like an asshole if I wrote about this stuff. I've also gotten back into comics. The DC universe storyline from Identity crisis through Infinite crisis was amazing, and I'm glad I own all these books. All these things. Things to own. Mine mine mine. All mine. Hanging out with people's been weird lately. There are so many people in different categories, it's hard to hang out with all of them. I always feel like my friends resent me too. Maybe even secretly hate me. Talk behind my back saying lord knows what. I mean, I know I've always done the same thing. Well, not out of hatred, but out of humor. Out of having something to do. We all do it in this group. Passive aggressive shit. Gossiping to pass the time. I wonder what get's said about me. I wonder what I get made fun of about when not in the room. It doesn't matter because I don't know and what I don't know really can't hurt me. I'll be done with school in about a year give or take. What will I do? Where will I go? The future is so murky. I'm so tired. This entry is probably terrible, contradictory, whatever. I haven't had any caffeine today. My brain still isn't firing. I'm fucking tired. Am I worth hanging out with? People seem to do it plenty. I guess they like it. I try not to let them get too bored. On the other hand, I don't like running things so people are probably thinking, boring fucking Will, never has a plan we always do the same thing end up bored silent awkward in a room and then he ditches us for his girlfriend. Which I guess I do sometimes but maybe not as often as people think. Or maybe way more often then people thought up until now.