Things have been better.

[prog]

Dad is halfway through a two-months-to-live prognosis handed to him quite frankly from a cancer center. He's being tended to daily by home hospice care, who are awesome. Amy and I met them by chance three weeks ago, when they were on the verge of calling Adult Protective Services because both my parents had stopped bathing or eating or changing

Comments

[ruthling]

there is no part of this that doesn't suck. Put your own oxygen mask on first as the need comes.

[chanaleh]

Oh man. :-/ Hard stuff, all right.

Yes, an upper boundary is a VERY important concept.

But within that boundary, I do think you're right to continue handling the situation (taking on the burden) in a way that you feel best embodies your own value system. Which is a very different thing from doing it out of guilt.

[530nm330hz]

Knowing that you will be able to look yourself in the mirror once they are gone is, as you have observed, so important.

Also, depending on what you mean by "military honors", they may not be expensive. (Tacky and disrespectful if his service wasn't important to him I can't disagree with, that's why we didn't have any at my father's funeral, but the option to have a flag-draped coffin and a "bugler" would have been paid for by the Veterans' Department if we'd wanted it.)

Take care of yourself.

[gemini6ice]

I'm glad you're putting fingers to keys, if this sharing is lessening the burden in any way. It is a big ball of suck, and, well, if there's anything you think of that we, your friends can do, please just mention it.

I still think you've taken action sooner and taken more action than most people would. I don't know how much it is to you to compare yourself to that bar, but I'm pretty sure you're above it (or below it, if it's a limbo-style bar).

The answer, I think, is that I'm doing this for myself.

And the reason doing this has value to you is because of your character and integrity.

[cthulhia]

set an upper limit. take care of yourself.