Comments | prog_schlock: LJ Idol Week #23b

prog_schlock

LJ Idol Week #23b - "Chasing Rainbows"

May 19, 2016 12:24

This is my second (of three) entries for week #23 of therealljidol.

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Rocks and LaddersMy parents still live in the house where I grew up. For now at least. They're thinking of moving into a smaller place and they should, even though the thought makes me profoundly sad. My brother and I have both expressed our sorrow to our parents but also stressed that ( Read more... )

Comments 6

bleodswean May 24 2016, 14:03:25 UTC

Oh!!! This entry! You've floored me with this one. I think it's one of the best things you've done so far this season, totally relatable, universal, and simultaneously bittersweet and joyous. Quite a triumph. Funny how some of us, as younger people, were so intent on communicating with our older selves. I think I still am. I'm always telling myself, remember this, remember this. And the reasons fade, but the memory stays. Your childhood home looks as though it were amazing. And it certainly seems to have been the best place for you to grow up in. It will be an adjustment, a letting go, for everyone when they move on. And that, too, is a relatable experience in these modern times.

Bravo! This is publishable.

prog_schlock May 27 2016, 01:06:07 UTC

I wish I had the patience to try and get stuff published. Just getting entries up by deadline is some serious work.

I'm really glad you enjoyed this one. It was the last one I finished this week and I felt like I had to force every single word out. I had an idea of what I was going to write about and usually that means the writing part comes easily, but nope. This one felt like passing a kidney stone through my eye.

My relationships with my past and future selves is complicated - I imagine everyone's is. I spend so much time thinking "Oh, now I get it, now I'm grown up" and then also thinking "I hope I really get this when I'm older." Sometimes I feel totally disconnected from anyone I ever was before (or ever will be again). I've come to believe that our personalities are more like fluid and less like sculpture.

Thank you for reading and commenting!

murielle May 26 2016, 13:07:15 UTC

This is great.

I began journaling when I was twelve. I've gone back a few times throughout my life and read my journals. It rarely ever made me feel good. A lot of words about a lot of feelings about which I can do nothing. And yet, I always felt that what I was doing, recording my life, was important.

Maybe it's good to look back and realize that we have so much more than we dreamed about when we were younger.

prog_schlock May 27 2016, 01:08:07 UTC

I have a good friend who was recently diagnosed with depression. She's been journaling since she was young and when she looks back at her journals, she now recognizes that she was depressed all that time and didn't even know it.

What I find when I read my old journal entries is that I remember things differently than I recorded them at the time. Basically, I've come to realize my memory is unreliable. Bad brain!

Thank you for reading and commenting!

halfshellvenus May 27 2016, 18:58:05 UTC

Oh, there's so much richness of growing up and just humanity in general in this one.

and was disappointed to discover it was basically list of grievances with specific adults.That seems like a lot of my youth as well. Anything I was interested in, though, at least when I was much younger... I was trying to DO. Sometimes in a semi-random sideways fashion, but still ( ... )

prog_schlock May 27 2016, 19:41:00 UTC

For some reason LJ keeps eating my comments today. Trying this again. If you suddenly have three or more replies to this, many apologies ( ... )