fic: Here (In Your Arms)
You have always been a silly child; that’s what people have always kept telling you. Such a silly child with such a sunny personality, sharing smiles and painting butterflies in your melodic little loving world. The boy with the spring bird-like chipper when the first flowers start to bloom, pushing through the half-melt snow.
The silly child in you urges you to spring around and shine, shine the rays you have been blessed with, shine and let the people close to you bathe in your golden rays. You? You like what tugs your lips; you love what tugs them upwards. What makes that vibrating little sensation fill you up as a happy laughter escapes your childish lips that usually talk too big.
You love your friends. You love what you do. You love life.
You love him too.
Pi fluffs your hair making you grumble and try to push him violently in a chase when he walks into you watching him talking with some other juniors. You slam him to the wall and swear to god you’ll strangle him there and then if he dares to ever even think about saying a word to anyone. He answers by pinching your cheeks and pursing his lips, making you blush and kick him angrily in embarrassment. After a while of silent arm-wrestling you’re both panting and sitting on the floor with your backs against the wall, eyeing him as he’s enthusiastically explaining something to a group of boys slightly older than him.
You sigh and Pi proceeds to push your shoulder, making you fall over on your side, eyes still on the boy laughing with his eyes so small and thin, so nicely narrow as his lips turn upwards. Pi falls over you, lazily lying there with his chin on your side.
“Do you like him?” Pi asks curiously and you feel your body jolt in shock, scared and embarrassed of his realisation, pushing him off you grumpily and aiming a kick at him. You however miss your target as Pi stumbles on his feet in a rush to avoid the attack he senses coming his way. “Do you, Jin? Do you like like him? Kame-chan?”
Your blush tells it all. And your intimidating glare tells all about your selected course of action should he dare to tell anyone. Pi never does, although you do catch him at the verge of doing it a few times, unable to keep his big mouth properly shut.
On your next birthday Pi gives you a turtle plushie.
You name him Kame and when you’re home you take him with you everywhere.
Your turtle plushie Kame likes sitting on your shoulder and residing in your arms.
--
Kame is your friend. Your best friend. Even with Pi and Ryo he’s your best friend, maybe because of your special liking of him. Pi and Ryo are nice and funny, yes. They know a lot about you and fool around with you. They’re Kame’s friends too. But still. Kame’s your favourite friend.
You like Kame.
You feel so bubbly and happy.
Kame is happy too when he’s with you. He laughs a lot, smiles a lot. He’s full of life and playful, he appears to genuinely love your company.
You wish you could hold him just a little closer, place a small kiss on his tempting lips and run away, have him take it as a joke rather than getting too thoughtful and anxious about it. But he’s the type to do exactly that so you don’t dare. You just cling to him in another ways, but never bring your face too close. Your lips too close.
Years pass. You remain the same. Your feelings stay fixed.
You wonder if it’s really love. Stupid, stupid in your age. But you must wonder.
Kame grows more beautiful. You find yourself staring way too often for your own good. Ryo has caught up with your puppy love as well as Pi and they both sit next to you, poking your sides and teasing you with quiet snickering. And momentarily you hate them.
You don’t care if it’s puppy love. It’s the real thing for you.
Maybe it being puppy love just makes it even more beautiful. For you it does. It’s not quite like the love adults share. Adults seem somehow so silent.
Your love is bubbly and breathtaking.
You go to sleep with your turtle plushie Kame and place a kiss on its head, brushing it gently with your hand and hugging it close to your chest.
Sometimes you wish your favourite toy would be the real Kame instead.
“I love you,” you tell the plushie happily as you roll on his bed, unable to sleep. “I love you so much!”
The plushie always feels so warm and soft. And it never objects.
Your plushie silently shares your love and understands.
--
“Happy Birthday, Jin!” a happy exclamation cuts the air but you ignore it, too tired to care enough to do else than grumble and bury your face in your pillow to avoid the sudden bright light. The world feels hazy and warm.
The steps get closer and someone throws you with a gift, making you cry out from the disturbance and wail, hugging your soft plushie closer. “Go awayyy,” you whine, diving under your thick duvet to isolate yourself. Birthday can wait for fifteen more minutes.
“Do you sleep with a plushie?” the voice asks, laughter in his voice. “Jin, what are you, a child? You’re supposed to be a teen… Aren’t you a bit old for a plushie?”
You grumble as an answer as hands grip your sheets, trying to rid you of them with a playful laughter of “Rise and shine!” ringing in the air.
Suddenly you recognize the voice and your tired eyes snap open, making you wail as the sudden bright light hurts your eyes. You can feel the bed sinking from Kame’s weight as he curiously picks up your plushie from your arms, examining it silently. You crack one of your eyes open and watch with your body frozen.
“It’s cute,” he finally says, placing it on his lap and brushing gently. He looks at you with a slightly puzzled expression. Maybe he’s waiting for your explanation. Maybe he’s thinking.
Maybe he already knows.
You feel like snatching your turtle plushie back from him and running away, hiding somewhere. You feel like escaping.
But since he was nice enough to come to visit you on the morning of your birthday, with a present too, you find you don’t have the heart to.
“…Mm,” you finally agree, looking at him nervously. “Pi gave it to me.”
“Okay,” Kame answers, picking it up from his lap again. Finally he strikes by brushing your collarbones, using the plushie turtle as his weapon. You scream and fall off your bed from the other side with a loud thump. Kame laughs as he leans over the edge to look at your lying form sprawled on the floor.
“So. You sleep with a plushie,” he starts teasing, using the turtle to fluff your already disarranged hair. “Akanishi Jin, the big-mouthed Akanishi Jin sleeps hugging such a fluffy object.”
“Shut up,” You mutter, finally snatching your beloved toy back to your arms. “Don’t listen to him, Kame…”
You realise your slip right after you’ve said it and slap a hand on your mouth with widened eyes. Kame starts laughing and falls down on his back on your bed, way too amused for you to feel comfortable. So you keep shifting and start growing angry and flustered.
“Shut up, Kame!” you exclaim loudly. “Obviously I’m calling it Kame! It’s a turtle!”
You know you’re lying. You know he’s already caught up with it. It’s embarrassing. You feel like you’re trying to cheat and he knows it.
You don’t really want to lie to Kame.
“So you sleep with your dear plushie turtle called Kame,” Kame voices it out in a simplifying manner as he looks at you, the amused smile still on his lips. “You sleep with it, hugging very, very dearly and lovingly… You even talk to it, Jin-chan~”
You wonder if your blush can get deeper anymore. Your mouth feels dry and you cling to your plushie for life.
“Kame,” Kame continues, taking the plushie from you gently again, brushing it with his thumb. The gentle smile on his face looks beautiful. “…It really is cute. Idiot.”
Sometimes, you think, Kame should just shut up. But just sometimes.
“Stop iiit!” you complain, jumping to the bed as well and sit down before him with your legs crossed. “Stop teasing me! It’s a plushie, okay?! And I like it! So stop bullying me!”
“Bullying? Jin, you idiot, can’t you tell bullying and teasing apart from each other?” Kame keeps mocking you. “Seventeen years old and still such a child. In some countries you would be legal next year! Why can’t I see you as such…”
“That was uncalled for!” you say and push him, climbing over him and snatching your plushie back from him again, staying there sitting on his lap and hugging it to your chest as you glare at him grumpily.
Your turtle plushie might be just a few years old, but Kame is fifteen.
Only fifteen.
It feels a bit sad, you think. The age difference. Kame’s more mature than many of his age, yes, but he’s still only fifteen.
So you can be happy with your plushie for now.
You can be happy with your plushie until he’s at the age when he’ll understand. When he’ll be grown up enough to really commit to you, to really love you purely.
When it can surpass puppy love.
He puts his hands on your shoulders. Your heart beats just a bit faster as you watch him there on your bed.
“I want my birthday hug,” you mumble and snuggle down with him, managing to tickle his ticklish sides and make him let out a slightly screaming laughter.
You might both be bullies, you think to yourself. But maybe you’ve always been a bit like that.
Him being so lovely but young makes him a bully to you. And it makes you act like a bully to him.
Of course he’d disagree and call it teasing. Maybe he’d have a point. But you like to think of things more strongly. And it really doesn’t matter that much. Life feels wonderful with him.
“P-p-present!” Kame manages to get air in his lungs, trying to get loose from your hold. “Present, Jin!”
You remember the gift and jump up in excitement, reaching for the present that had previously dropped on your floor. You look at the neat package happily and start ripping the wrappings.
A turtle plushie. You look at him with wide eyes.
“Happy birthday, Bakanishi,” he tells you and shoves you in a playful and mocking manner. “Maybe you’ll make a turtle plushie farm then.”
You look at your plushie turtles and a wide smile spreads on your lips. You jump at Kame and hug him tightly, thanking him. Kame laughs, rubbing your back.
You have three Kames on your bed now. Because of course you’re going to call the plushie turtle Kame gave you Kame! Fuck Pi! Kame’s was special, way more special!
You can’t remember when was the last time you felt quite that sunny.
Kame makes you freeze by wrapping his arms around you and placing a soft kiss on your lips. You become flustered as you proceed to stare at him in shock, unable to respond or move even for an inch. When he pulls away you raise your fingers to brush your lips. You must look like a complete idiot.
“You’re in shock,” Kame laughs, fluffing your hair. “Don’t tell me you’re in that big of a shock!”
You are.
You turn your head slightly to steal another short kiss from him and he responds a bit clumsily. His hair feels nice and soft when your fingers sink in the depths of it. Way silkier than your plushies. His warm breath feels nice on your face.
Your heart races in rhythm with your blooming puppy love.
“Consider that an extra gift,” he tells you. “For giving you a present you already seem to have.”
“No,” you object, shaking your head. “Your turtle’s different. And it’s from you. I like it. Thank you!”
And he seems genuinely sunny too when he laughs at your stupidity with you and lets you steal just one more kiss from his lips in your awakening birthday day.
--
When Kame reaches the age of eighteen, the sun paints golden streaks in his beautiful hair.
Your faces are close.
The silly child in you urges you to spring around and shine, shine the rays you have been blessed with, shine and let the people close to you bathe in your golden rays. You? You like what tugs your lips; you love what tugs them upwards. What makes that vibrating little sensation fill you up as a happy laughter escapes your childish lips that usually talk too big.
You love your friends. You love what you do. You love life.
You love him too.
Pi fluffs your hair making you grumble and try to push him violently in a chase when he walks into you watching him talking with some other juniors. You slam him to the wall and swear to god you’ll strangle him there and then if he dares to ever even think about saying a word to anyone. He answers by pinching your cheeks and pursing his lips, making you blush and kick him angrily in embarrassment. After a while of silent arm-wrestling you’re both panting and sitting on the floor with your backs against the wall, eyeing him as he’s enthusiastically explaining something to a group of boys slightly older than him.
You sigh and Pi proceeds to push your shoulder, making you fall over on your side, eyes still on the boy laughing with his eyes so small and thin, so nicely narrow as his lips turn upwards. Pi falls over you, lazily lying there with his chin on your side.
“Do you like him?” Pi asks curiously and you feel your body jolt in shock, scared and embarrassed of his realisation, pushing him off you grumpily and aiming a kick at him. You however miss your target as Pi stumbles on his feet in a rush to avoid the attack he senses coming his way. “Do you, Jin? Do you like like him? Kame-chan?”
Your blush tells it all. And your intimidating glare tells all about your selected course of action should he dare to tell anyone. Pi never does, although you do catch him at the verge of doing it a few times, unable to keep his big mouth properly shut.
On your next birthday Pi gives you a turtle plushie.
You name him Kame and when you’re home you take him with you everywhere.
Your turtle plushie Kame likes sitting on your shoulder and residing in your arms.
--
Kame is your friend. Your best friend. Even with Pi and Ryo he’s your best friend, maybe because of your special liking of him. Pi and Ryo are nice and funny, yes. They know a lot about you and fool around with you. They’re Kame’s friends too. But still. Kame’s your favourite friend.
You like Kame.
You feel so bubbly and happy.
Kame is happy too when he’s with you. He laughs a lot, smiles a lot. He’s full of life and playful, he appears to genuinely love your company.
You wish you could hold him just a little closer, place a small kiss on his tempting lips and run away, have him take it as a joke rather than getting too thoughtful and anxious about it. But he’s the type to do exactly that so you don’t dare. You just cling to him in another ways, but never bring your face too close. Your lips too close.
Years pass. You remain the same. Your feelings stay fixed.
You wonder if it’s really love. Stupid, stupid in your age. But you must wonder.
Kame grows more beautiful. You find yourself staring way too often for your own good. Ryo has caught up with your puppy love as well as Pi and they both sit next to you, poking your sides and teasing you with quiet snickering. And momentarily you hate them.
You don’t care if it’s puppy love. It’s the real thing for you.
Maybe it being puppy love just makes it even more beautiful. For you it does. It’s not quite like the love adults share. Adults seem somehow so silent.
Your love is bubbly and breathtaking.
You go to sleep with your turtle plushie Kame and place a kiss on its head, brushing it gently with your hand and hugging it close to your chest.
Sometimes you wish your favourite toy would be the real Kame instead.
“I love you,” you tell the plushie happily as you roll on his bed, unable to sleep. “I love you so much!”
The plushie always feels so warm and soft. And it never objects.
Your plushie silently shares your love and understands.
--
“Happy Birthday, Jin!” a happy exclamation cuts the air but you ignore it, too tired to care enough to do else than grumble and bury your face in your pillow to avoid the sudden bright light. The world feels hazy and warm.
The steps get closer and someone throws you with a gift, making you cry out from the disturbance and wail, hugging your soft plushie closer. “Go awayyy,” you whine, diving under your thick duvet to isolate yourself. Birthday can wait for fifteen more minutes.
“Do you sleep with a plushie?” the voice asks, laughter in his voice. “Jin, what are you, a child? You’re supposed to be a teen… Aren’t you a bit old for a plushie?”
You grumble as an answer as hands grip your sheets, trying to rid you of them with a playful laughter of “Rise and shine!” ringing in the air.
Suddenly you recognize the voice and your tired eyes snap open, making you wail as the sudden bright light hurts your eyes. You can feel the bed sinking from Kame’s weight as he curiously picks up your plushie from your arms, examining it silently. You crack one of your eyes open and watch with your body frozen.
“It’s cute,” he finally says, placing it on his lap and brushing gently. He looks at you with a slightly puzzled expression. Maybe he’s waiting for your explanation. Maybe he’s thinking.
Maybe he already knows.
You feel like snatching your turtle plushie back from him and running away, hiding somewhere. You feel like escaping.
But since he was nice enough to come to visit you on the morning of your birthday, with a present too, you find you don’t have the heart to.
“…Mm,” you finally agree, looking at him nervously. “Pi gave it to me.”
“Okay,” Kame answers, picking it up from his lap again. Finally he strikes by brushing your collarbones, using the plushie turtle as his weapon. You scream and fall off your bed from the other side with a loud thump. Kame laughs as he leans over the edge to look at your lying form sprawled on the floor.
“So. You sleep with a plushie,” he starts teasing, using the turtle to fluff your already disarranged hair. “Akanishi Jin, the big-mouthed Akanishi Jin sleeps hugging such a fluffy object.”
“Shut up,” You mutter, finally snatching your beloved toy back to your arms. “Don’t listen to him, Kame…”
You realise your slip right after you’ve said it and slap a hand on your mouth with widened eyes. Kame starts laughing and falls down on his back on your bed, way too amused for you to feel comfortable. So you keep shifting and start growing angry and flustered.
“Shut up, Kame!” you exclaim loudly. “Obviously I’m calling it Kame! It’s a turtle!”
You know you’re lying. You know he’s already caught up with it. It’s embarrassing. You feel like you’re trying to cheat and he knows it.
You don’t really want to lie to Kame.
“So you sleep with your dear plushie turtle called Kame,” Kame voices it out in a simplifying manner as he looks at you, the amused smile still on his lips. “You sleep with it, hugging very, very dearly and lovingly… You even talk to it, Jin-chan~”
You wonder if your blush can get deeper anymore. Your mouth feels dry and you cling to your plushie for life.
“Kame,” Kame continues, taking the plushie from you gently again, brushing it with his thumb. The gentle smile on his face looks beautiful. “…It really is cute. Idiot.”
Sometimes, you think, Kame should just shut up. But just sometimes.
“Stop iiit!” you complain, jumping to the bed as well and sit down before him with your legs crossed. “Stop teasing me! It’s a plushie, okay?! And I like it! So stop bullying me!”
“Bullying? Jin, you idiot, can’t you tell bullying and teasing apart from each other?” Kame keeps mocking you. “Seventeen years old and still such a child. In some countries you would be legal next year! Why can’t I see you as such…”
“That was uncalled for!” you say and push him, climbing over him and snatching your plushie back from him again, staying there sitting on his lap and hugging it to your chest as you glare at him grumpily.
Your turtle plushie might be just a few years old, but Kame is fifteen.
Only fifteen.
It feels a bit sad, you think. The age difference. Kame’s more mature than many of his age, yes, but he’s still only fifteen.
So you can be happy with your plushie for now.
You can be happy with your plushie until he’s at the age when he’ll understand. When he’ll be grown up enough to really commit to you, to really love you purely.
When it can surpass puppy love.
He puts his hands on your shoulders. Your heart beats just a bit faster as you watch him there on your bed.
“I want my birthday hug,” you mumble and snuggle down with him, managing to tickle his ticklish sides and make him let out a slightly screaming laughter.
You might both be bullies, you think to yourself. But maybe you’ve always been a bit like that.
Him being so lovely but young makes him a bully to you. And it makes you act like a bully to him.
Of course he’d disagree and call it teasing. Maybe he’d have a point. But you like to think of things more strongly. And it really doesn’t matter that much. Life feels wonderful with him.
“P-p-present!” Kame manages to get air in his lungs, trying to get loose from your hold. “Present, Jin!”
You remember the gift and jump up in excitement, reaching for the present that had previously dropped on your floor. You look at the neat package happily and start ripping the wrappings.
A turtle plushie. You look at him with wide eyes.
“Happy birthday, Bakanishi,” he tells you and shoves you in a playful and mocking manner. “Maybe you’ll make a turtle plushie farm then.”
You look at your plushie turtles and a wide smile spreads on your lips. You jump at Kame and hug him tightly, thanking him. Kame laughs, rubbing your back.
You have three Kames on your bed now. Because of course you’re going to call the plushie turtle Kame gave you Kame! Fuck Pi! Kame’s was special, way more special!
You can’t remember when was the last time you felt quite that sunny.
Kame makes you freeze by wrapping his arms around you and placing a soft kiss on your lips. You become flustered as you proceed to stare at him in shock, unable to respond or move even for an inch. When he pulls away you raise your fingers to brush your lips. You must look like a complete idiot.
“You’re in shock,” Kame laughs, fluffing your hair. “Don’t tell me you’re in that big of a shock!”
You are.
You turn your head slightly to steal another short kiss from him and he responds a bit clumsily. His hair feels nice and soft when your fingers sink in the depths of it. Way silkier than your plushies. His warm breath feels nice on your face.
Your heart races in rhythm with your blooming puppy love.
“Consider that an extra gift,” he tells you. “For giving you a present you already seem to have.”
“No,” you object, shaking your head. “Your turtle’s different. And it’s from you. I like it. Thank you!”
And he seems genuinely sunny too when he laughs at your stupidity with you and lets you steal just one more kiss from his lips in your awakening birthday day.
--
When Kame reaches the age of eighteen, the sun paints golden streaks in his beautiful hair.
Your faces are close.