There's nothing left to feel
Title: Use Me to Use You
Characters: Kyp and Isolde, some Revan
'Verse: squarewarts
Rating: PG
Her power screams at him, and he immediately seeks her out-consciously or not, he's drawn to her location-not having felt her nearby in years. He has never forgotten about that time the two of them became younger again, where she tied herself to him, smiled charmingly, and sucked him into her power struggle.
The only thing more interesting than finding Revan at a meeting called for Jedi is finding Revan accompanied by another.
Kyp bides his time, looking the two of them over, observing them. There's something different about Revan. Her hand brushes her companion's arm, and the other woman-every bit opposite of what the former Sith Lord is-reacts immediately, a genuine smile on her face. At first, he thinks maybe she's picked up another apprentice, but it becomes evident that there is nothing familiar about how Revan usually treats those around her.
Revan is charming, and the woman is easily taken in.
She's one of them, he realizes. One of her doomed followers, one of Revan's pets, and one of those Revan cares for.
“Durron, staring is impolite,” the stronger woman says, sidling up to him with that smirk on her face, shadow following.
“So they tell me,” Kyp responds idly, eying her up now that she's closer. She looks no different. Maybe a new wrinkle, but he thinks it adds to her charm.
The blonde glances between them, smiles. “You are Kyp?”
“The one and only.”
Revan's hand falls to her companion's shoulder. “This is Isolde. She's an old friend.”
And then he fully places Isolde. She is more than a simple follower, she is one of the three. Revan, Malak, and Isolde. She's one of Revan's victims, someone she used and destroyed. A void surrounds her, and while he can feel her power, there's something wrong with it, as it echoes and bounces back towards him.
He nods to Isolde finally, before addressing Revan again. “I thought you had to travel alone.”
A look is exchanged between the two old friends. “The Force had a change of heart.”
More mysteries. He tells himself he isn't jealous that Isolde can go where he can't. Why would he be jealous of a victim to Revan's power and will?
-
Isolde takes hold of Revan's hand, resting her head on the woman's shoulder. “He isn't happy that I'm with you.”
“Are you bothered by it?”
“Yes,” the exiled Jedi whispers, a frown flitting over her face and taking root.
Revan remains quiet, and it's not the first time that Isolde waits and wonders what it is her friend is thinking. “I wouldn't worry about it.” She pats the blonde on the head gently, as if to reassure the worries.
-
She stands next to Kyp, hands clasped behind her back. He glances at her, taking in her appearance, once again judging and weighing the differences between her and Revan, him and her.
“She broke you.”
The words are sudden and loud, but Isolde doesn't falter. Her head tilts as she glances up at him, a sad smile playing on her lips. “Circumstances broke me, but she helped.” It isn't so much a defense as it what she believes to be the truth. “I don't blame her.”
Her words are soft-spoken, but the sincerity in them hits him hard. Her blue eyes are wide, honest, and entirely too trusting for someone in her position. Even now, after years of suffering and separation, the woman's loyalty is unwavering. When he looks at her, all he sees is light, and maybe that, more than anything, is why Revan didn't completely drag her down.
“Even though she broke you,” is all he can think of saying, because Revan would have taken Kyp, would have dragged him into Hell with her, despite what it would have down, how broken he would have become.
Like Malak.
“Love is powerful,” Isolde whispers, and her eyes are still on him, still holding his gaze firmly. For someone who is sullied, the innocence she carries is so vibrant, he doesn't even know what to think. She is like him and Revan, but there is no taint. Maybe that is what attracts Revan to her.
Kyp remains silent for a moment. “You think Revan loves you?”
Her hand moves, warm fingers pressing to his arm. “She's not incapable of it, you realize.”
“There isn't just a vortex where her heart should be?” His grin is false and heavy, but she answers it with a genuine one anyway.
She knows better than anyone, and yet she is just as clueless about the god named Revan.
“She loves you, too,” Isolde tells him, squeezing his arm gently.
Kyp sighs, unsure if he really wanted to hear those words. Her hand falls away, and his skin burns where her fingers had been.
“But you're lucky,” she continues. “She loves you, but you're not tethered to her.” A sad smile is on her face, and there is a moment of guilt that washes over him.
Because he is jealous that Revan didn't take him.
“You'll never be free.” It's almost harsh, his voice, and the charming persona he had been desperately trying to cling to falls.
She nods. “I don't want it. My very nature doesn't allow freedom.”
And he gets it.
Revan is as bound to Isolde as Isolde is to Revan. There is no escape for them, and they don't seem to be seeking a way to escape.
“I don't envy you, though,” she is quick to say in the silence beginning to grow. “Being with Revan is like living in the sun. Her power feels like life.” A flash of a smile. “Are you jealous?”
He doesn't want to be. He doesn't even want to answer her, but there's a stiff nod in reply. If he hadn't known what Revan was, he would have willingly followed her to Hell. But he isn't like Isolde. He can't accept her power and become her broken pet.
“I can see why she's fond of you,” Isolde murmurs. “You're what we couldn't be, Alek and myself. Carth. Her apprentice. You had it, and you resisted. You said no.”
Her words are woven with respect and awe and that hint of sadness she carries within her.
“I only said no because I was already broken. What more would she have to do with me?” He corrects, not sure if he is even worthy of what she's giving him. It just makes him feel low, dirty.
“So was Carth, and he still pines, regardless of the years that pass.” She tucks a stray hair behind her ear, nodding to herself.
“Why are you with her now?” He can't let it go.
“She needs me,” is all he gets.
Silence falls between them.
Revan joins them later, standing between the two of them and adapting to their silence. Finally, she turns to Kyp and gives him that familiar grin. “See you around, kid.”
“See you, Master.”
-
“He's like what Malak could have been,” Isolde comments.
“Oh?”
“That's just how he felt. Like Alek, but more. He cares for you.”
“I know,” Revan replies in a tired voice, her presence wrapping tightly around her friend.
“That's why you don't push him. Because he reminds you of Alek.”
Revan pauses, brows rising slowly. “Is that what you think?”
“You are easier to read these days.”
Characters: Kyp and Isolde, some Revan
'Verse: squarewarts
Rating: PG
Her power screams at him, and he immediately seeks her out-consciously or not, he's drawn to her location-not having felt her nearby in years. He has never forgotten about that time the two of them became younger again, where she tied herself to him, smiled charmingly, and sucked him into her power struggle.
The only thing more interesting than finding Revan at a meeting called for Jedi is finding Revan accompanied by another.
Kyp bides his time, looking the two of them over, observing them. There's something different about Revan. Her hand brushes her companion's arm, and the other woman-every bit opposite of what the former Sith Lord is-reacts immediately, a genuine smile on her face. At first, he thinks maybe she's picked up another apprentice, but it becomes evident that there is nothing familiar about how Revan usually treats those around her.
Revan is charming, and the woman is easily taken in.
She's one of them, he realizes. One of her doomed followers, one of Revan's pets, and one of those Revan cares for.
“Durron, staring is impolite,” the stronger woman says, sidling up to him with that smirk on her face, shadow following.
“So they tell me,” Kyp responds idly, eying her up now that she's closer. She looks no different. Maybe a new wrinkle, but he thinks it adds to her charm.
The blonde glances between them, smiles. “You are Kyp?”
“The one and only.”
Revan's hand falls to her companion's shoulder. “This is Isolde. She's an old friend.”
And then he fully places Isolde. She is more than a simple follower, she is one of the three. Revan, Malak, and Isolde. She's one of Revan's victims, someone she used and destroyed. A void surrounds her, and while he can feel her power, there's something wrong with it, as it echoes and bounces back towards him.
He nods to Isolde finally, before addressing Revan again. “I thought you had to travel alone.”
A look is exchanged between the two old friends. “The Force had a change of heart.”
More mysteries. He tells himself he isn't jealous that Isolde can go where he can't. Why would he be jealous of a victim to Revan's power and will?
-
Isolde takes hold of Revan's hand, resting her head on the woman's shoulder. “He isn't happy that I'm with you.”
“Are you bothered by it?”
“Yes,” the exiled Jedi whispers, a frown flitting over her face and taking root.
Revan remains quiet, and it's not the first time that Isolde waits and wonders what it is her friend is thinking. “I wouldn't worry about it.” She pats the blonde on the head gently, as if to reassure the worries.
-
She stands next to Kyp, hands clasped behind her back. He glances at her, taking in her appearance, once again judging and weighing the differences between her and Revan, him and her.
“She broke you.”
The words are sudden and loud, but Isolde doesn't falter. Her head tilts as she glances up at him, a sad smile playing on her lips. “Circumstances broke me, but she helped.” It isn't so much a defense as it what she believes to be the truth. “I don't blame her.”
Her words are soft-spoken, but the sincerity in them hits him hard. Her blue eyes are wide, honest, and entirely too trusting for someone in her position. Even now, after years of suffering and separation, the woman's loyalty is unwavering. When he looks at her, all he sees is light, and maybe that, more than anything, is why Revan didn't completely drag her down.
“Even though she broke you,” is all he can think of saying, because Revan would have taken Kyp, would have dragged him into Hell with her, despite what it would have down, how broken he would have become.
Like Malak.
“Love is powerful,” Isolde whispers, and her eyes are still on him, still holding his gaze firmly. For someone who is sullied, the innocence she carries is so vibrant, he doesn't even know what to think. She is like him and Revan, but there is no taint. Maybe that is what attracts Revan to her.
Kyp remains silent for a moment. “You think Revan loves you?”
Her hand moves, warm fingers pressing to his arm. “She's not incapable of it, you realize.”
“There isn't just a vortex where her heart should be?” His grin is false and heavy, but she answers it with a genuine one anyway.
She knows better than anyone, and yet she is just as clueless about the god named Revan.
“She loves you, too,” Isolde tells him, squeezing his arm gently.
Kyp sighs, unsure if he really wanted to hear those words. Her hand falls away, and his skin burns where her fingers had been.
“But you're lucky,” she continues. “She loves you, but you're not tethered to her.” A sad smile is on her face, and there is a moment of guilt that washes over him.
Because he is jealous that Revan didn't take him.
“You'll never be free.” It's almost harsh, his voice, and the charming persona he had been desperately trying to cling to falls.
She nods. “I don't want it. My very nature doesn't allow freedom.”
And he gets it.
Revan is as bound to Isolde as Isolde is to Revan. There is no escape for them, and they don't seem to be seeking a way to escape.
“I don't envy you, though,” she is quick to say in the silence beginning to grow. “Being with Revan is like living in the sun. Her power feels like life.” A flash of a smile. “Are you jealous?”
He doesn't want to be. He doesn't even want to answer her, but there's a stiff nod in reply. If he hadn't known what Revan was, he would have willingly followed her to Hell. But he isn't like Isolde. He can't accept her power and become her broken pet.
“I can see why she's fond of you,” Isolde murmurs. “You're what we couldn't be, Alek and myself. Carth. Her apprentice. You had it, and you resisted. You said no.”
Her words are woven with respect and awe and that hint of sadness she carries within her.
“I only said no because I was already broken. What more would she have to do with me?” He corrects, not sure if he is even worthy of what she's giving him. It just makes him feel low, dirty.
“So was Carth, and he still pines, regardless of the years that pass.” She tucks a stray hair behind her ear, nodding to herself.
“Why are you with her now?” He can't let it go.
“She needs me,” is all he gets.
Silence falls between them.
Revan joins them later, standing between the two of them and adapting to their silence. Finally, she turns to Kyp and gives him that familiar grin. “See you around, kid.”
“See you, Master.”
-
“He's like what Malak could have been,” Isolde comments.
“Oh?”
“That's just how he felt. Like Alek, but more. He cares for you.”
“I know,” Revan replies in a tired voice, her presence wrapping tightly around her friend.
“That's why you don't push him. Because he reminds you of Alek.”
Revan pauses, brows rising slowly. “Is that what you think?”
“You are easier to read these days.”