I've got this feeling that there's something that I missed (I can do most anything to you)

Aug 24, 2011 04:49

TITLE: Another Soldier that Says He's Not Afraid to Die
AUTHOR: Ashe; promisethesun 
FANDOM(S): Knights of the Old Republic
CHARACTER(S): Revan/Kyp Durron, The Exile, Malak
PROMPT: #186 Waste
RECIPIENT: Hannah,
feilyn
RATING: R
WARNINGS: Nope
SPOILERS?: Naw
PREVIEW/SUMMARY: Revan has never once wasted a resource.
WORD COUNT: 2779

The first time she sees Kyp Durron, she's standing outside with Squint, talking about about different meditative positions. They both quiet at the same moment, both turning to watch the boy walking beside Master Vandar as he is shown around the the Enclave. It's not hard to feel the power that radiates off the young teenager, and already the wheels in her mind are turning, adjusting to a new factor, a new pawn.

The boy looks over at them, and she smiles at the haunted look in his eyes, the regret and determination at odds with each other in his easily-observable body language.

“He must be the one,” Squint says out loud, and the boy's eyes flash darkly, angrily, before he looks down at the ground and away from her.

Revan cocks her head, dark eyes moving away from the boy to look at her best friend before nodding. “Kyp Durron.” His name rolls off her tongue smoothly, and it sounds like it is meant to be there.

“I know that look, Revan,” her friend says glumly, and she gives him a lazy smile before clapping him on the back. “We can't collect every wayward soul.”

“Why not? It'll give Isolde someone to fix.” She stretches her arms over her head, feeling the pull of her muscles. “Let's go adopt him, Squint.”

He frowns at the nickname before pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don't understand why I continue to play to your whims.”

The masters fall over themselves to shove the boy at her; they believe that Revan can fix him and show him the right way, and she smiles at them, even the ones who are wary of her increasing attitude concerning herself. He's blown up several planets, been possessed, but he needs their help. She asks why it is that he's here and not at the academy on Coruscant. The answer's simple: Dantooine is removed, quiet, flowing with the light side of the Force. She's already figured that out, but she knows how to pluck the strings of the council here.

That is the day the Suncrusher became one of her own.

-

The years pass easily. Kyp fits, and even Alek comes to accept him for what he is. He knows that Revan wastes nothing, and the powerful young man is an asset they can't afford to lose.

“We're leaving,” Revan tells him in a soft voice. She's changed over the years. They've all noticed it, but Kyp feels like he was the first to spot it. She's bright and enticing, the Force settling around her in a way that he's never seen before. People fear her, respect her; even the masters seem to consult her, and she hasn't yet become a Knight.

His eyes brighten at her words. “Where are we going?”

A smile flits across her face, one of her fake ones. He knows her enough to pick out a few of the false looks she gives. It's the same one she gives to Master Vrook when he says something about himself or Isolde, the same one she gives to those who feel a burning jealousy of her. That smile tells him that she thinks he's an idiot, that there's no way he can understand. And he doesn't.

“Alek and I, we're leaving.”

His world feels off center, and he jumps to his feet. “Why?”

She settles back in her seat, watching him, the smile still on her face. “They want for us to finish our training on Coruscant. I'm sure we'll be Knighted within the month.”

Anger and hurt settles over him like a cloak, his fists clenching. “And you're just going to leave me behind here? Me and Isolde, I mean. You can't do that.”

She takes time to answer him, eyes staring off into the distance, the swaying grass of the plains on Dantooine. Finally, she gets to her feet in one smooth motion, head tilting. There's a look in her eyes, something cold and calculating. He's questioned her, and his heart picks up pace. “I'm sorry, Kyp. We go to where we're called, and Alek and I are ready.”

“I can be ready for it, too. Let me go with you.”

Her head shakes. “Isolde needs you. Your time will come, but the Force doesn't will it now.”

She makes to walk away, and he makes a split-second decision, reaching out and tightening his hand around his wrist, dragging her towards him. Her eyebrows shoot up. There's a sense of smug satisfaction rolling in him when he realizes that he's surprised her. Surprise gives way to controlled anger, but she doesn't move, her body pressed to his.

He finally kisses her. It's awkward, too hard and demanding, and he doesn't know what he's doing. But she stands there and she waits, a glint of curiosity in her eyes as she watches him. She doesn't return the kiss. When he realizes that, he lets her go, watches her walk away from him.

He doesn't see or talk to her again before she leaves for Coruscant.

-

Isolde takes the departure about as well as Kyp does, but she keeps a brave face on. She tells Kyp that at least they have each other, giving him that brilliant smile of hers as her blue eyes light up. Sometimes she rests her hand on his arm, the warmth from her enveloping him. Sometimes she bumps him with her hip instead, and he can't help but laugh with her.

There's always been something about her, and he realizes that it's her caring nature, her warm and charismatic personality that Revan wanted. And he realizes that, as much as he cares for their cold and calculating leader, he wants to bask in her light.

She is the only one he has left, but she soon drifts away from him, and he grows jealous when he realizes that he doesn't like that she's giving so much of her attention to Master Kavar. He isn't even her real master, he tells himself, following after them and watching as they spar.

Isolde laughs as she disarms the older man, and Kavar smiles back at her. Kyp finds that it's too fond of a look, practically hisses when he touches the girl's shoulder, his hand lingering too long.

He waits for her later, after the practice, using the Force to shoot rocks through a small tree. Her eyebrows knit together in concern as she approaches him, her hand pressing against his shoulder blades.

“Kyp?” Her head tilts so that she's looking up at him with those blue eyes of hers. “What's wrong?”

“You like him, don't you? Master Kavar. Is he better than me?”

Her eyes widen in shock. “Kyp, you're my friend, and so is Master Kavar. I just get really nervous when we spar. I'm tired of disappointing and not being able to catch up with the rest of you,” she explains in a gentle voice. Slipping her arm through his, she rests her head on his arm, and he feels stupid that she has to stand there and comfort him when he's let his jealousy get the best of him.

“I miss them,” she says, and he swallows loudly, nodding.

“Me, too.”

“Don't leave me behind, Kyp. I don't know if I could handle it if you left me too.”

He looks down at her, and he smiles reassuringly, fingers brushing through golden curls before he presses a hand to her cheek. This is why Revan wanted him to stay, he convinces himself. Because Isolde is fragile, and Revan loves her. Revan knew. He could tell her that he won't leave, but he doesn't. Instead, he lowers his head until his lips are pressed to hers. She lets out a squeak of surprise, but she doesn't shove him away.

Isolde kisses him back. It's shy and unsure, but he holds her close until they let the worry of what they're doing wash away.

-

Revan sits up, rolling her shoulders as she glances down at the body next to her in the bed. Alek's arm is still wrapped around her naked waist, his back exposed to her. She picks his arm up, moving it away from her. It rouses the man, and he rolls over on his side, staring up at her groggily, fingers running through his shaggy hair.

“Is it morning already?”

She shakes her head. “It's still dark out.”

He peers at her calmly before sitting up next to her. “What we did last night...”

“It wasn't wrong, Alek.”

He looks away from her, his worries easily picked at. “We've been taught-”

“Do you feel any closer to the dark side before we had sex? If not, then I don't think you have much to fear, Alek. What we did felt... natural. I don't feel as though the Force is any different now.”

He remains quiet, and she reaches out to him through the Force, playfully pushing him over. Flopping back onto the bed, he laughs and makes a grab for her, pulling her on top of him. Their chests press together, her hands braced on each side of his head. “We will get in trouble if they catch us.”

Her lips brush over his. “We won't be caught.”

His hands roam over her body cautiously, fingers digging gently into her flesh as they remain in that position. He knows it wasn't done out of desire from her. She loves him, he knows, but not in that way. Alek captures her mouth, rolling her over so that he's hovering above her now, and she laughs. It sends shivers through his body, hardening him. This is just another move by her, one he's been let in on.

They're bound.

-

Revan returns to Dantooine when the situation with the Mandalorians turns dire. She's come to plead with the Council here, but they refuse to listen to reason.

Kyp waits for her in the Courtyard. It's been a couple of years, but she's as beautiful as she's always been. He sees the differences in her, the way she's more woman than she is girl, the way she's stronger, more confident, more sure of her place. Her eyes light up curiously when she spots him, her swagger slow as she walks over to him.

“You've grown,” she says, inclining her head slightly to look up at him. “In more ways than one.”

He gives her a cocky grin, nodding slowly. “You don't seem pleased with what the Council has had to say.”

She glances back over her shoulder, towards where she had just come from. A sour expression crosses her face before she smooths it again. “They won't send the Jedi to war, to stop the Mandalorians from destroying the galaxy.”

He eyes her carefully, sees the grim determination. “You're going to fight them still.” It's not a question. She might have been gone a couple of years, but he knows her well enough to know that she isn't someone to sit on the sidelines and let others die.

“I knew they would say no. I came here to recruit.” Her gaze is on fire, and it's like she's staring into his very soul. “I need you, Kyp.”

He can't even refuse her.

-

He's the only one who sees it when it happens. He wasn't even sure she was human enough to do it. Her face crumples, and she gasps softly, almost as if he imagined it. She presses a hand to her mouth even as the tears roll down her face. He panics, unsure of what to do, but then he feels it too. They're all so close, it's hard not to.

“Alek,” she chokes out, her pain quiet, muted.

He's sure that this was the moment he knows he's irrevocably in love with her, this one moment of humanity as somewhere in the distance, her most trusted friend is tortured.

-

That night, she steals into his quarters.

That night, they have sex.

She leaves immediately, once they are done.

He wonders why he doesn't stop her.

-

Isolde smiles wearily at Revan when they speak over the holovid. “Things are going well here.”

“That's good to hear, General.”

“Alek-”

“He goes by Malak now, Isolde. You would do well to remember that,” Revan says in a soft voice, but it causes a shiver to run through the younger woman, as though it were filled with more venom than necessary. Her lips part, but she nods in silence.

“Malak, is he all right? He hasn't... It's been awhile since we have all seen each other.”

Her general sighs, and it's clear that her patience is tried. Isolde understands. This war is ruining all of them. It's brutal and demanding, and everyday she feels a step closer to death than the day before. “One day, we will be together.”

There's a faint smile on the younger woman's face, but something rings false about it all. “I'll report back in if there is any further activity.”

The feed cuts. Isolde slumps to the ground.

“General?”

She looks up into the face of a young technician, a Zabrak assigned to her only a few months ago. “Bao-Dur.”

He offers her his hand, and she takes it, cheeks burning pink from embarrassment. “You need a break, General.”

“I'm fine. Just tired, is all.”

Tired of the death, tired of the way she's breaking. She remembers the last time she saw Kyp, saw that same ache within him that was in her. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to have him hold her again, but he mentioned Revan, and she knew with a heart-clenching finality that it is always Revan.

-

She bites into his lip roughly, and he groans, pushing her further into the wall as his hips roll and thrust into her again, her nails digging into his shoulders. The Force crushes tightly around them, almost to the point where he's sure she'll kill him on accident. There are no screams, no names called out, just the sounds of their breathing and the Force as she hungrily kisses him. He holds her pressed to the wall, chuckling.

“I love you.”

He doesn't know why he says it, but with Revan, he's never sure why he does anything that he does. Revan kisses him again, softly, running her fingers through his damp hair.

“I know.”

She lets him stay the night after that. He wakes with her in his arms, and he wonders how long this can last.

It's the last night they're together.

-

Malachor V is gone.

He can't see Revan's face beneath her mask, but he can feel her satisfaction at it. The Republic calls her a hero, and he agrees.

But she's not the same anymore. She hasn't been for a long time. Her time is spent more with Malak than any other person, and a deep jealousy burns in his veins. There's something wrong with them, something that has tipped them over the scales.

He can't follow her. Not where she is going.

“You're leaving me.” She gives him the courtesy of taking the mask off, to let him look at her one last time.

“I have to,” he tells her, and he warily glances at Malak. Of them all, he has fallen the hardest, and it shows. Kyp wonders if she'll have Malak kill him now.

“Of course you do,” Revan all but coos, a tight grin on her face.

“What about Isolde?” He hasn't heard news of her since Malachor, and he wonders if she also refused, wonders if he would have felt her death in the Force. From the corner of his eye, he sees Malak sneer at the name.

Revan shakes her head. “She is of no concern any longer. I have sent her back to the Council, to represent all of the dead Jedi who have paved our way to victory.”

Revan has never once wasted a resource, Kyp remembers. Not him, not Isolde, not Malak. Not the Jedi or the Mandalorians or the Republic.

He swallows the lesson down and departs.

-

A year later, he stands over the charred remains of the assassin droids sent after him, a rueful grin on his face as he leaves a datapad with them, a private note for Revan.

character: malak, character: kyp durron, canon: knights of the old republic, !request 2011, character: the exile, character: revan

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