Is this the way it's really going down? // Is this how we say goodbye?
TITLE: Loathing
AUTHOR: Ashe;
promisethesun
FANDOM(S): Knights of the Old Republic
CHARACTER(S): Revan/Malak
PROMPT: #195 Powerless
RECIPIENT: Leah~
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: Nope
SPOILERS?: None
PREVIEW/SUMMARY:
He hates her, and he loves her, but she's Revan, and nobody leaves her.
WORD COUNT: 1239
His ship fires on hers the moment the Jedi infiltrate it, and he revels in the bright, hot anger that spikes in the Force from her when she realizes what he's doing, that he's betraying her. There's a brief flash of uncertainty, pain, and if he could smile, he would.
He makes sure she can feel his satisfaction.
-
She pushes him down, and he growls up at her. The girl stands over him triumphantly, a small smirk on her face that will one day grow into an expression he will wish to bring out of her as often as he can.
(an expression he will also one day come to loathe with every fiber of his being)
She stares down at him, fists on her hips.
“I win again, Squint.”
“You cheated!”
-
“It's not cheating,” the teenaged Revan purrs as she swipes the credits from the poor gambler who had thought to best Revan at a game she is the master of. Alek stands off to the side, arms crossed over his chest as he shakes his head. She saunters up to him, jiggling the coins in her hand.
“Want a drink, Squint?”
“With you? No, I know how you are,” he tells her in a dry voice.
She smirks at him, and something twists in his gut. It flutters between their connection, and her smirk deepens, eyes lighting up mischievously.
It's dangerous, he knows. As dangerous as her growing ego, stoked by the masters' exclamations, but they can't help it. He can't help it.
“They'll never find out, Squint. Come-”
-
“-on!” His breathing is labored as he follows closely behind her as she tears through the forest brush. Behind them, the rancor roars, shaking the ground under them as it gives chase.
“Only you could manage to get us the mission with rancors, Revan!”
She gives a breathless laugh as she skids to a stop, looking around their surroundings with mild curiosity. The trees to their backs shake furiously, and he realizes he's getting impatient. He grabs her arm, ready to tug her along. They're not safe, and she's being incredibly dense. Revan shakes him off, shooting a glare his way as she unclips her lightsaber from her belt.
“This is the right spot, Alek.”
“We're trapped,” Alek points out, but he follows her direction, his lightsaber springing to life with a snap-hiss.
Revan nods. “But so is it. And there are two of us.”
He spares her an incredulous look. “Have you seen the size of it?”
“I trust you to watch my back, Alek.”
-
He disengages his lightsaber, watching as the mercenary who had managed to get behind her fall to his knees and collapse. She's breathing heavily, chest panting, but there's a light in her eyes, and he can feel her exhilaration through the Force, the simple pleasure of putting her skills to the test. “You did that on purpose.”
“I didn't want you to feel bad.”
“You purposely put yourself in his way,” he growls, and she shrugs with nonchalance. “Don't do that.”
“Do what?” She moves closer to him, head tilted in just the right way that it's a sharp hit in the gut, a heat that spreads through his body that isn't helped by the way her hips sway, the look in her eyes. She's a snake, a temptation that shouldn't be.
“Act like I'm always going to be there to watch your back,” he snaps.
She pauses mid-step, and even though she still wears the air of someone calm and collected, it's clear that he's hurt her. But he doesn't care. He's tired of it, of the way she takes his presence for granted, the way she doesn't want him to feel bad, and mingling with his desire to be closer to her is the ever-bright jealousy he harbors for her skills and confidence.
He's just as good as she is, but she's Revan.
“The war effort might be better served with us serving different missions,” she decrees in a cool voice, and he suddenly realizes that he's been dismissed from her presence.
-
She watches him from the opposite side of the room, arms crossed over her chest as she leans back against a wall. He sits impassively, stare cold and empty. “Alek.”
“Revan.”
She strides further into the room, all purpose-but he remembers her fear and pain echoing in him during his torture-until she falls into his lap, fingers digging into his bare scalp, mouth rough against his. He wants to throw her across the room, but he holds her closer instead.
Because she can dismiss him, but he knows she needs him.
Because even though he though he has feelings for another, she can't let him think it'll ever be obtainable while she's here.
Because it's Revan, and she owns him.
There's a dangerous smirk on her face as she climbs on top of him,
-
and he hates her. He hates her, and he loves her, and he knows she's bringing them both closer to the dark side. It's not just the war. It's the star maps as well. It's the knowledge that she's burning with, consuming him in her fire. We're enough to start a wildfire.
Malak wonders if she knows that she needs him as much as he needs her. That they live for each other, that they will be the death of each other. This is what the masters had always warned them about, and he wishes he had listened. He wishes he could break free of her grasp. Free of his hatred and his need and her smirk.
“I know,” she says suddenly, voice soft. “That's why you can never be free.”
He hates her.
And he knows she knows that, too.
-
She knows how he feels, and it's why she keeps him close to her. Punishes him. She wonders if the slip of her lightsaber was really a slip up at all. If disfiguring him wasn't the Force guiding her hand, bringing them closer together.
She questions why the Force would want her to keep him, this being of anger and hate, so unlike her Alek of long ago. What purpose does he serve for her now? Is it to keep her humble to see him as he falls further and further?
She smiles to herself, cruel and dark.
But it's better to maintain control of an enemy than it is to release him into the world. He's still useful to her.
(part of her forgets that it's because she loves him)
-
It comes as no surprise that he's betrayed her, his master, friend, lover. The object of his hate and anger. It doesn't make the betrayal any easier to swallow as the Jedi swarm her ship and his feelings of jubilation wash over her.
Revan gives in to her anger, but it isn't enough.
Malak has succeeded in ridding himself of her control.
-
And when she stands over his fallen body, there is nothing but emptiness inside of her, a place he was always in and no longer occupies.
“Revan!”
Behind her rushes her future, Carth and Bastila, but she doesn't turn to face them.
Her voice drops to a whisper. “May the Force be with you, Squint.”
AUTHOR: Ashe;
promisethesun
FANDOM(S): Knights of the Old Republic
CHARACTER(S): Revan/Malak
PROMPT: #195 Powerless
RECIPIENT: Leah~
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: Nope
SPOILERS?: None
PREVIEW/SUMMARY:
He hates her, and he loves her, but she's Revan, and nobody leaves her.
WORD COUNT: 1239
His ship fires on hers the moment the Jedi infiltrate it, and he revels in the bright, hot anger that spikes in the Force from her when she realizes what he's doing, that he's betraying her. There's a brief flash of uncertainty, pain, and if he could smile, he would.
He makes sure she can feel his satisfaction.
-
She pushes him down, and he growls up at her. The girl stands over him triumphantly, a small smirk on her face that will one day grow into an expression he will wish to bring out of her as often as he can.
(an expression he will also one day come to loathe with every fiber of his being)
She stares down at him, fists on her hips.
“I win again, Squint.”
“You cheated!”
-
“It's not cheating,” the teenaged Revan purrs as she swipes the credits from the poor gambler who had thought to best Revan at a game she is the master of. Alek stands off to the side, arms crossed over his chest as he shakes his head. She saunters up to him, jiggling the coins in her hand.
“Want a drink, Squint?”
“With you? No, I know how you are,” he tells her in a dry voice.
She smirks at him, and something twists in his gut. It flutters between their connection, and her smirk deepens, eyes lighting up mischievously.
It's dangerous, he knows. As dangerous as her growing ego, stoked by the masters' exclamations, but they can't help it. He can't help it.
“They'll never find out, Squint. Come-”
-
“-on!” His breathing is labored as he follows closely behind her as she tears through the forest brush. Behind them, the rancor roars, shaking the ground under them as it gives chase.
“Only you could manage to get us the mission with rancors, Revan!”
She gives a breathless laugh as she skids to a stop, looking around their surroundings with mild curiosity. The trees to their backs shake furiously, and he realizes he's getting impatient. He grabs her arm, ready to tug her along. They're not safe, and she's being incredibly dense. Revan shakes him off, shooting a glare his way as she unclips her lightsaber from her belt.
“This is the right spot, Alek.”
“We're trapped,” Alek points out, but he follows her direction, his lightsaber springing to life with a snap-hiss.
Revan nods. “But so is it. And there are two of us.”
He spares her an incredulous look. “Have you seen the size of it?”
“I trust you to watch my back, Alek.”
-
He disengages his lightsaber, watching as the mercenary who had managed to get behind her fall to his knees and collapse. She's breathing heavily, chest panting, but there's a light in her eyes, and he can feel her exhilaration through the Force, the simple pleasure of putting her skills to the test. “You did that on purpose.”
“I didn't want you to feel bad.”
“You purposely put yourself in his way,” he growls, and she shrugs with nonchalance. “Don't do that.”
“Do what?” She moves closer to him, head tilted in just the right way that it's a sharp hit in the gut, a heat that spreads through his body that isn't helped by the way her hips sway, the look in her eyes. She's a snake, a temptation that shouldn't be.
“Act like I'm always going to be there to watch your back,” he snaps.
She pauses mid-step, and even though she still wears the air of someone calm and collected, it's clear that he's hurt her. But he doesn't care. He's tired of it, of the way she takes his presence for granted, the way she doesn't want him to feel bad, and mingling with his desire to be closer to her is the ever-bright jealousy he harbors for her skills and confidence.
He's just as good as she is, but she's Revan.
“The war effort might be better served with us serving different missions,” she decrees in a cool voice, and he suddenly realizes that he's been dismissed from her presence.
-
She watches him from the opposite side of the room, arms crossed over her chest as she leans back against a wall. He sits impassively, stare cold and empty. “Alek.”
“Revan.”
She strides further into the room, all purpose-but he remembers her fear and pain echoing in him during his torture-until she falls into his lap, fingers digging into his bare scalp, mouth rough against his. He wants to throw her across the room, but he holds her closer instead.
Because she can dismiss him, but he knows she needs him.
Because even though he though he has feelings for another, she can't let him think it'll ever be obtainable while she's here.
Because it's Revan, and she owns him.
There's a dangerous smirk on her face as she climbs on top of him,
-
and he hates her. He hates her, and he loves her, and he knows she's bringing them both closer to the dark side. It's not just the war. It's the star maps as well. It's the knowledge that she's burning with, consuming him in her fire. We're enough to start a wildfire.
Malak wonders if she knows that she needs him as much as he needs her. That they live for each other, that they will be the death of each other. This is what the masters had always warned them about, and he wishes he had listened. He wishes he could break free of her grasp. Free of his hatred and his need and her smirk.
“I know,” she says suddenly, voice soft. “That's why you can never be free.”
He hates her.
And he knows she knows that, too.
-
She knows how he feels, and it's why she keeps him close to her. Punishes him. She wonders if the slip of her lightsaber was really a slip up at all. If disfiguring him wasn't the Force guiding her hand, bringing them closer together.
She questions why the Force would want her to keep him, this being of anger and hate, so unlike her Alek of long ago. What purpose does he serve for her now? Is it to keep her humble to see him as he falls further and further?
She smiles to herself, cruel and dark.
But it's better to maintain control of an enemy than it is to release him into the world. He's still useful to her.
(part of her forgets that it's because she loves him)
-
It comes as no surprise that he's betrayed her, his master, friend, lover. The object of his hate and anger. It doesn't make the betrayal any easier to swallow as the Jedi swarm her ship and his feelings of jubilation wash over her.
Revan gives in to her anger, but it isn't enough.
Malak has succeeded in ridding himself of her control.
-
And when she stands over his fallen body, there is nothing but emptiness inside of her, a place he was always in and no longer occupies.
“Revan!”
Behind her rushes her future, Carth and Bastila, but she doesn't turn to face them.
Her voice drops to a whisper. “May the Force be with you, Squint.”