They say the Euphoria of being "in love" generally wanes after two years+/-...then people move on, and its kind of displayed if you look at the masses of relationships
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I reckon love changes over time. There are different forms of love - the one like euphoria is the first - but in long-term relationships & marriage other aspects of the relationship become more important too. Stuff like respect, caring for the other person, paying attention and not forgetting the other person has his/her own dreams/needs, not wanting to change the other person into someone else etc. My g/f often asks "do you love me more or less than before?"...can't say i love her less...maybe i love her more - but the feeling's changing...it's becoming more stable, more rooted in her as a person...less idealistic and more real...perhaps less passionate/romantic...but deeper - a feeling that i want to be with her all my life and that i don't need anyone else. A lot of people here in Russia can't accept that someone really loves you if they don't want to marry you straight away..."marriage = love"...the ultimate promise - giving your entire life to another person. I was raised differently - my parents never married...kind of
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Hey. Have not seen you around in awhile. Hope youre doing well. I am back in the states now(if you cannot tell from reading). Thanks for responding. I think what you have said is insightful and agreeable
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Nope, never thought my parent loved each other less than married parents...if anything they loved each other more - as much as they could anyway. They always tried their best and are and were good parents to me and my sister. They split up when i was about twelve...but i didn't blame them - i was old enough to understand...they fought all the time and i hated those arguments
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(cont...) I've recently got acquainted with a lot of young married couples here...husbands 30-36 & wives 26-27. My g/f has known these people for a long time and says they used to be different...b4 they got married...they used to "do things"...they climbed mountains, went skiing all the time, camping, to the cinema, read a lot, played music etc. Now they work, come home, eat, watch tv, and sleep - they argue sometimes (about petty things mostly), some contemplate "children". They no longer stimulated one another...neither partner is a + influence on the other - they have fallen asleep...they are completely predictable - it's more interesting to spend time with other people. I don't think marriage has to be like that...it's a choice...maybe the main thing is to remember that the person you love can leave at any time. Love obligates through marriage - marriage itself is not the obligation and cannot exist in a real sense without love. But, being obligated through love feels pleasant; there's no pressure & you behave in a natural
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I just wonder WHY that has to be like that. Maybe it really is something deep inside the brain or whatever, that once and urge or desire (being that, having a person) is satiated, the stimulation does leave.
God. Thats depressing. But I do believe youre right about it being a choice not to let the marriage go down that path. Hmm. I'll think on this.
Most things in life come down to personal choice...we have to question things - like why is the world this way...why can't it be different?! Why are people like they are...and can't they improve? Got to be an optimist when it comes to relationships...'cause all the psychologists are so fucking pessimistic! Like Jack Johnson sings:
"They say love fades with time but tell them there's no such thing as "time" it's out time, it's our time"
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I just wonder WHY that has to be like that. Maybe it really is something deep inside the brain or whatever, that once and urge or desire (being that, having a person) is satiated, the stimulation does leave.
God. Thats depressing. But I do believe youre right about it being a choice not to let the marriage go down that path. Hmm. I'll think on this.
kjk
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Why are people like they are...and can't they improve? Got to be an optimist when it comes to relationships...'cause all the psychologists are so fucking pessimistic! Like Jack Johnson sings:
"They say love fades with time
but tell them there's no such thing as "time"
it's out time, it's our time"
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I am glad to have my friend back (no more mute Andy!)
Kristin
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