One may think we're alright, but we need pills to sleep at night.
Sirius and I had a fight... a pretty nasty one, really. I sort of...sort of feel bad about some of the things I said...but he just... he refuses to see that this is his fault. And it sort of is. God, this whole thing is so sodding stupid. I just.. I don't even get it. And every time I see her she looks like she's mad at me about something and I didn't even fucking do anything. Certainly not that she's aware of, in any case. I just... sort of wish this whole thing had never happened. With Sirius. It just fucked everything up for all three of us. And she... she doesn't even understand it. I, God, I bet she's never once in her life had to deal with anything remotely like this. I did the best I fucking could.
How could she call me oblivious? Sirius has been denying that he still had feelings for me for a fucking age and he saw other people and he wasn't even talking to me like he used to. Him being over me made sense! And on top of that, what's the big fucking deal if she fights with Sirius? It's not like they were the best of friends before we started dating. Big. Fucking. Deal.
It's just.. it's not fair. I did everything, everything I could to make her happy, honest to god, I just wanted her to be happy with me, I wanted things to be okay. I put up with Snape for the love of God. I haven't even insulted the greasy little bastard since we started dating. I just... I can't believe this. I did everything and it wasn't enough for her.
I can't sleep. I... I should go find a sleeping potion. Or steal some from the hospital wing. Wonder how much you have to take if you just don't want to wake up.
School's over, I guess.
hoorah, and whatever the fuck else.