(no subject)
i think that i just need to not talk to anyone until metro because i'm shitty and everyone should hate me as much as i hate me
sometimes i wonder how i'm still even here and i think it's so so so stupid that i am sometimes. because i'm not really doing anything for anyone?? and i'm basically terrible at doing things for myself.
if there was a way to kill myself without actually having to actively kill myself i would totally opt for that. or if euthanasia for healthy people was a thing i would totally opt for that as well.
i'm upset
i want to talk to demi but i'm really confused by her because people scare me and they hurt me all the time and i hate them and it's probably better that i just don't even try because there used to be a time that i tried and all i got was a fat lot of nothing tired red eyes a swollen face and sinuses stuffed to high heaven
on one had i think she's nice and i want to like her because even though i hate feeling i sometimes miss feeling and maybe part of wanting to is just to know that i still can
but every crush for me has been bad and unbearable and it has made me hate myself more and more
my problems are all so stupid and mediocre and lame but i just cannot handle them i am not emotionally equipped for things like this. i'm emotionally stunted at best and i'm a brat and crybaby
ok bye i'm going to bed
sometimes i wonder how i'm still even here and i think it's so so so stupid that i am sometimes. because i'm not really doing anything for anyone?? and i'm basically terrible at doing things for myself.
if there was a way to kill myself without actually having to actively kill myself i would totally opt for that. or if euthanasia for healthy people was a thing i would totally opt for that as well.
i'm upset
i want to talk to demi but i'm really confused by her because people scare me and they hurt me all the time and i hate them and it's probably better that i just don't even try because there used to be a time that i tried and all i got was a fat lot of nothing tired red eyes a swollen face and sinuses stuffed to high heaven
on one had i think she's nice and i want to like her because even though i hate feeling i sometimes miss feeling and maybe part of wanting to is just to know that i still can
but every crush for me has been bad and unbearable and it has made me hate myself more and more
my problems are all so stupid and mediocre and lame but i just cannot handle them i am not emotionally equipped for things like this. i'm emotionally stunted at best and i'm a brat and crybaby
ok bye i'm going to bed