Lessons from La Fontaine (1/1)
Oh, lord. My muse is not letting me get anything done today.
Title: Lessons from La Fontaine
Characters/Pairings: Serena. Hints of Nate/Serena.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Minor spoilers
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Life is hard, but she tries, she tries, she tries. Serena in boarding school.
It starts like this:
There is a phone call. A suitcase. A train ride.
Her mind buzzes (how could you how could you how could you) accusingly (how could you do that do that to your best friend) the whole time (backstabbing whore selfish bitch murderer), so she flirts extra hard for a bottle of tequila and everything calms down a bit after that.
(The moral: the trip is too short, and it takes something more than Connecticut to wash away the aftertaste of guilt.)
After orientation, she turns on her phone. There are five missed calls from Chuck, two from Eric, three from her mother, twenty-two from Nate, along with two messages.
(Nothing from Blair.)
She throws it in the trash.
(The moral: she fishes it back out a day later.)
At Knightley, nothing changes. She sleeps (less), parties (more), and ignores the train wreck that is her life (as per usual).
Her period comes on time.
(The moral: somewhere, sometime, she’ll actually be the heroine of a story.)
She drinks a lot of absinthe-at parties or otherwise. It’s never been that appealing before, but now she likes it, likes the way the colors swirl in her vision, because sometimes the colors solidify and maybe turn into Blair or Chuck or Nate.
(The moral: she left them, but they’ll never leave.)
A cute boy walks up to her while she’s looking for a birthday card for Blair out of pure habit. “Hey,” he says, “Can I help you?”
She’s not sure what to say (yes, can you help me find a card that says “Sorry I slept with your boyfriend whom you’ve been planning your whole life around, let’s be friends again! Btw, I killed someone?”), so she just smiles and says “No thanks,” and buys something random off the shelf that she burns that night.
(The moral: the card she picked had read “Another year older, another year wiser.”)
One night, she dreams this: Chuck fixes her, Blair forgives her, Nate loves her, and she is the same.
She wakes up and she throws up twice because her chest feels like it might explode.
(The moral: in her nightmares, Chuck is Pete, Blair is Georgina, Nate isn’t there, and she is the same.)
She tries LSD.
Just once. (Too many times.)
She tries LSD and Blair stands in front of her, face disapproving but hands outstretched. “Oh, S,” she says, “Won’t you ever learn?”
She feels like her smile might split her face in two, reaches out and-
There’s nothing there.
(The moral: she never tries LSD again.)
Damien is nice and smart and does her Spanish homework for her in exchange for make-out sessions that aren’t even that good. She tells him she doesn’t want anything serious, he tells her that he understands. Then she brings him to a party and introduces him to some pills and it’s all downhill from there.
(The moral: so she ruins his life, so what? He can get in line with all the others.)
Ben is there and he’s sweet and mature (with blonde hair and blue eyes), and she’s pretty sure she might be in love with him (or as in love as she’ll ever allow herself to be again). Fate gives them a flat tire and a bed-and-breakfast and naturally she propositions him, the scenario mapping itself out in her brain.
But then he tells her “no,” and she’s not even surprised.
(The moral: You can’t blame the man-he’s just putting years of leaving and abandonment into words, that’s all.)
It ends like this:
There is a phone call. A suitcase. A train ride. (Back to square one.)
Her mind buzzes (how could you how could you how could you), accusing again (how could you leave him leave your brother). This time, the trip is too long. She thinks too much and doesn’t drink at all.
Eric saved her, she realizes, and the thought bounces around her head until she gets a migraine. Eric saved her and almost paid for it with his own life. As the train slows to a stop at Grand Central, she decides that she’s never going to need saving ever again.
(There is no moral here, but we all know how well that turned out.)
Life is hard, but she tries, she tries, she tries.
(The moral: she fails, she fails, she fails.)
Title: Lessons from La Fontaine
Characters/Pairings: Serena. Hints of Nate/Serena.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Minor spoilers
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Life is hard, but she tries, she tries, she tries. Serena in boarding school.
It starts like this:
There is a phone call. A suitcase. A train ride.
Her mind buzzes (how could you how could you how could you) accusingly (how could you do that do that to your best friend) the whole time (backstabbing whore selfish bitch murderer), so she flirts extra hard for a bottle of tequila and everything calms down a bit after that.
(The moral: the trip is too short, and it takes something more than Connecticut to wash away the aftertaste of guilt.)
After orientation, she turns on her phone. There are five missed calls from Chuck, two from Eric, three from her mother, twenty-two from Nate, along with two messages.
(Nothing from Blair.)
She throws it in the trash.
(The moral: she fishes it back out a day later.)
At Knightley, nothing changes. She sleeps (less), parties (more), and ignores the train wreck that is her life (as per usual).
Her period comes on time.
(The moral: somewhere, sometime, she’ll actually be the heroine of a story.)
She drinks a lot of absinthe-at parties or otherwise. It’s never been that appealing before, but now she likes it, likes the way the colors swirl in her vision, because sometimes the colors solidify and maybe turn into Blair or Chuck or Nate.
(The moral: she left them, but they’ll never leave.)
A cute boy walks up to her while she’s looking for a birthday card for Blair out of pure habit. “Hey,” he says, “Can I help you?”
She’s not sure what to say (yes, can you help me find a card that says “Sorry I slept with your boyfriend whom you’ve been planning your whole life around, let’s be friends again! Btw, I killed someone?”), so she just smiles and says “No thanks,” and buys something random off the shelf that she burns that night.
(The moral: the card she picked had read “Another year older, another year wiser.”)
One night, she dreams this: Chuck fixes her, Blair forgives her, Nate loves her, and she is the same.
She wakes up and she throws up twice because her chest feels like it might explode.
(The moral: in her nightmares, Chuck is Pete, Blair is Georgina, Nate isn’t there, and she is the same.)
She tries LSD.
Just once. (Too many times.)
She tries LSD and Blair stands in front of her, face disapproving but hands outstretched. “Oh, S,” she says, “Won’t you ever learn?”
She feels like her smile might split her face in two, reaches out and-
There’s nothing there.
(The moral: she never tries LSD again.)
Damien is nice and smart and does her Spanish homework for her in exchange for make-out sessions that aren’t even that good. She tells him she doesn’t want anything serious, he tells her that he understands. Then she brings him to a party and introduces him to some pills and it’s all downhill from there.
(The moral: so she ruins his life, so what? He can get in line with all the others.)
Ben is there and he’s sweet and mature (with blonde hair and blue eyes), and she’s pretty sure she might be in love with him (or as in love as she’ll ever allow herself to be again). Fate gives them a flat tire and a bed-and-breakfast and naturally she propositions him, the scenario mapping itself out in her brain.
But then he tells her “no,” and she’s not even surprised.
(The moral: You can’t blame the man-he’s just putting years of leaving and abandonment into words, that’s all.)
It ends like this:
There is a phone call. A suitcase. A train ride. (Back to square one.)
Her mind buzzes (how could you how could you how could you), accusing again (how could you leave him leave your brother). This time, the trip is too long. She thinks too much and doesn’t drink at all.
Eric saved her, she realizes, and the thought bounces around her head until she gets a migraine. Eric saved her and almost paid for it with his own life. As the train slows to a stop at Grand Central, she decides that she’s never going to need saving ever again.
(There is no moral here, but we all know how well that turned out.)
Life is hard, but she tries, she tries, she tries.
(The moral: she fails, she fails, she fails.)