i'm sort of amazed i'm off my meds and doing well.
also incredibly lonely.

it's too cold outside to take a walk.

can a freak like me ever be loved?
i can't imagine who would want me.

however, i shall not be pitiful, and continue about.

being bored, i have thrown myself back into online dating. fun!! there are actually some darling men ( Read more... )

i am sorry if i come off wrong.
merry christmas.
i'm sorry.
i wish everything could be better. i'm tired. of trying. so hard.

sending love to everyone i used to know... i miss my friends.

i do not know what to write ( Read more... )

http://www.speaknspell.co.uk/speaknspell.html

all is well! he is only vacationing in montana.

happy christmas-eve-eve.

i am groggy. must write more today. go to grocery. walk. perhaps see family.

the other day my grandmother took me to lunch, and i tried a bite of her lobster roll. "have more!!! more!!!" she said, pushing her plate at me. "no, that's okay, i don't like it after all..." which is true.

and it seems i have lost a friend.

why o why? the damndest humanity! breaks my heart, people.

"the devil knows you're dead."

who would understand?? why are we so beautiful and awful? why do we break? how can i be alive right now?

i dunno, but i'm glad.

blizzard. i haven't worked on my novel in a week. i'm frightened what will come out, and how can i explain...?

missing.

sometimes i do not LIKE the images that come into my mind ( Read more... )

wait, did i say that or think it?