Xmas Fic #12 - Written for Fleurlb!
Holy crap - I did it. Twelve fics in twelve days. Go me!
Title: Family
Characters: Team
Rating: G
Word Count: 1742
Summary: Parker tries her hand at being a mother. Surprisingly, hilarity does *not* ensue.
Author's Notes: Written for fleurlb who requested "Parker 'accidentally' steals a baby - bonus points for Eliot/baby interaction". I've seen a lot of variations on this theme that go straight for the wacky hijinks.
This story didn't go in that direction at all. I hope you enjoy it Fleur!
==================================================================
She wasn’t supposed to keep secrets from the others anymore. That was part of what being a family meant - people who had your back when you were in over your head.
At least that’s what everybody kept telling her.
Parker paced back and forth across her concrete floor, chewing nervously on a thumbnail. They’re not going to be okay with this, she thought, shooting a glance at her bed.
In the middle of the mattress, surrounded on all sides by pillows and watched over by an ever-vigilant Bunny, was a tiny baby girl.
******************
“You’re awfully quiet,” Sophie said, shooting a worried glance at Nate. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Nate scowled. “I’m trying really hard to see her point of view in this.” He sighed. “And figure out exactly how much trouble we could be in.”
“She pulled it out of a trash can, Nate,” Hardison said, glancing over his shoulder. “Probably saved the kid’s life.”
“True,” Nate acknowledged. “However…Good Samaritan laws make things a little tricky. It’s just as likely Parker could be arrested for kidnapping because she didn’t immediately go to the police.”
“Samaritan Law only applies if the parent leaves the kid at a fire station or police department,” Eliot said. “This is straight up abandonment.”
“Look,” Sophie said, “at least she called us for help, right? That’s progress.”
“A week, Sophie,” Nate countered. “She’s been taking care of a newborn, by herself for a week. The only progress I see here is from complete disaster to possibly salvageable.”
***********************
Parker tensed; the baby was starting to squirm in her makeshift bed and make soft, unhappy noises. She’d figured out how to deal with the diapers and she thought she was keeping the baby clean. Feeding had been a bit more of a challenge, but after some truly spectacular projectile vomiting, she’d found a formula that the baby seemed to tolerate - if not actually enjoy.
“Why can’t you talk?” she sighed, picking the baby up and looking at her. The tiny infant screwed up her face and started to scream. Near tears herself, Parker raised the baby to her shoulder and resumed pacing the floor.
The lack of conversational ability was a definite design flaw in babies, she’d concluded. Parker didn’t like it when the baby cried, and she liked it even less when the crying was because she couldn’t figure out what the baby needed. I’m supposed to be helping you, she thought, trying the “patting thing” she’d seen mothers with similar size babies doing to calm their children down.
It wasn’t working. Parker carefully checked the diaper. Ruling that out, she went to her mini-fridge for a bottle she’d put together while the baby was sleeping. “Please stop,” she moaned, bouncing the baby with one arm as she tried to warm the bottle with the other. “They’re really gonna think I can’t take care of you and they’re going to make me give you to the foster care people.”
It was the fear that had lingered at the back of her mind since she’d found the child half-buried in a trashcan in the hotel she’d been casing, and it was the reason she’d been so careful about taking care of it. Whatever she didn’t know, she’d been reading up on. Everything she’d acquired that came with instructions, she’d followed the instructions to the letter.
****************
“Was I the only one hoping this was some kind of a misunderstanding?” Hardison asked. The four of them were standing outside the entrance to Parker’s warehouse home, and the sounds of a baby crying could be heard coming from inside.
“Right there with you,” Eliot said, staring fearfully at the door.
“She needs our help,” Sophie said, punching the entry code into the keypad by the door. “Pretty badly, I would imagine at this point.” The door swung open, and without waiting for the others, Sophie headed inside.
“Parker?” she called, once she was over the threshold. “We’re here!” The crying was definitely getting louder - Sophie could see Parker up ahead, pacing back and forth, trying to soothe the fitful infant.
“Sophie!” the thief called. “I need help - she won’t stop crying and the bottle was too warm and…”
“I’ll get the kid,” Eliot said, brushing past Sophie. She was relieved that he seemed to recognize a gentle touch was called for - anger and concern was still rolling off Nate in waves, and Hardison was clearly terrified of the whole situation.
By the time she reached Parker, Eliot had coaxed her into handing over the infant. “Do you know how to feed babies?” the thief asked, glaring at her teammate.
“I had four younger siblings and an older twin who would have sooner died than change a diaper, Parker. I know what to do - don’t worry.” Parker looked doubtful, but she finally handed the now-screaming infant over. Eliot shifted his grip on the child, picked up the bottle, and headed over to a nearby chair.
Sophie took a closer look at Parker. The girl was clearly exhausted - free of her burden she was swaying on her feet, and there were dark, bruise-colored circles under her eyes. “Parker,” Sophie asked carefully, “when was the last time you slept?”
The thief looked momentarily confused. “Two days ago?” she asked.
“Jesus,” Nate muttered under his breath. Out loud he said, “Hardison - see if she’s got anything to eat around here. If she’s been taking care of a crying infant round the clock, I bet she hasn’t eaten anything.”
Sophie exhaled softly, relieved that Nate had decided to be empathetic to Parker’s physical condition - if not her wisdom in getting herself into this situation in the first place. “Let’s go sit down,” she said, putting an arm around her shoulders and guiding Parker as far away from Eliot and the baby. The child’s cries were tapering off, and Eliot seemed to have the bottle situation in hand.
Now for our little mother, Sophie thought, helping Parker to sit down on the edge of the bed. The girl looked immediately up at Nate with a dull, hopeless expression on her face.
“You’re going to make me give her back, aren’t you?”
Sophie wondered if Parker understood the play of emotions chasing across Nate’s expression. Sophie knew that his earlier anger had been largely motivated by fear. While Parker’s intentions had obviously been good, Sophie knew there were many points in the past week where everything could have ended up horribly, horribly wrong. And then Parker would be crying over a dead baby, she thought with a small shudder.
Nate crouched in front of Parker so that he was looking up at her. “You did your best, Parker. We can all see that. And you probably saved her life. But you have to know that you can’t keep her.”
“Why not?” the thief complained, tears starting to fall silently down her cheeks. She’s so tired, Sophie thought, pulling the girl closer so that Parker could rest her head on Sophie’s shoulder.
“Her mama didn’t want her,” Parker said. “Just like my parents didn’t want me. I can fix things for her - make it so she doesn’t turn out like me.”
It was so sweet and well-meaning and Parker in its naïve simplicity that Sophie couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.
*********************
“Hey…slow down there!” Eliot said, easing the bottle away from the hungry child. Once he’d convinced her that the solution to her discomfort was right under her nose, two ounces of formula had disappeared in a half-dozen blinks. Rolling the baby into a sitting position over his hand, Eliot smiled when she let out a huge, gassy belch.
“You’re not that big,” he grinned at the child, moving her back into position and picking up the bottle again. “You are definitely too small to make that big a noise, missy.” He was rewarded with a smile that quickly disappeared when the baby smelled the rest of her lunch.
Sobering slightly as he waited for his charge to finish her meal, Eliot glanced over at the others. Hardison was busy throwing together food for Parker, while Nate and Sophie were trying to reason with Parker. Privately Eliot hoped they wouldn’t be too hard on her. The thief hadn’t thought things through, but Eliot couldn’t find any fault with her intentions. She’d tried her best - and done better than most. While Eliot hadn’t thoroughly examined her yet, the child seemed to be fine.
“You’re pretty good with that,” Hardison said. He grabbed a nearby chair for himself; Eliot looked past him to see that Sophie was trying to get Parker to eat. Nate had moved out of the sparse living area, and was talking to someone on his cell phone. That was quick.
To Hardison he said, “Four siblings, like I told Parker. Mom and Dad worked all the time, and Lindsey would have died before changing a diaper. You pick it up quick if the crying goes on long enough.” He looked down at his charge and saw that her eyes were closed.
“She asleep?” Hardison whispered.
Eliot smiled. “Kind of. Watch this.” He gave the bottle a gentle tug - the baby’s occasional sleepy suck on the nipple turned into a frantic nursing, trying even in her sleep to get every drop of formula she could. Eliot relaxed his grip on the bottle again and looked across at the hacker. “She’s a multi-tasker.”
As soon as he heard air being sucked through the nipple, Eliot slipped the bottle free and set it aside. The baby made a few fitful motions, but quieted down immediately when Eliot transferred her to his shoulder. “There we go,” he muttered, rubbing her back with firm circular motions, trying to coax a burp without waking her.
“You ever think about having kids?” Hardison asked. His expression was thoughtful.
“Long time ago,” Eliot admitted.
“Not now though?”
Eliot wondered if the other man was running potential future family scenarios in his head. “Kids are weakness, Hardison. Bad idea for people like us.” His gaze slid to Sophie, who was tucking Parker into bed. “She meant well, and all things considered she did better than I would have thought.”
He looked back at his teammate. “Nate’s right though. This little sweetheart needs a shot at a safe, normal life - and that’s something that none of us could ever give her. It’s no slam on Parker.”
“It’s just a fact.”
Title: Family
Characters: Team
Rating: G
Word Count: 1742
Summary: Parker tries her hand at being a mother. Surprisingly, hilarity does *not* ensue.
Author's Notes: Written for fleurlb who requested "Parker 'accidentally' steals a baby - bonus points for Eliot/baby interaction". I've seen a lot of variations on this theme that go straight for the wacky hijinks.
This story didn't go in that direction at all. I hope you enjoy it Fleur!
==================================================================
She wasn’t supposed to keep secrets from the others anymore. That was part of what being a family meant - people who had your back when you were in over your head.
At least that’s what everybody kept telling her.
Parker paced back and forth across her concrete floor, chewing nervously on a thumbnail. They’re not going to be okay with this, she thought, shooting a glance at her bed.
In the middle of the mattress, surrounded on all sides by pillows and watched over by an ever-vigilant Bunny, was a tiny baby girl.
******************
“You’re awfully quiet,” Sophie said, shooting a worried glance at Nate. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Nate scowled. “I’m trying really hard to see her point of view in this.” He sighed. “And figure out exactly how much trouble we could be in.”
“She pulled it out of a trash can, Nate,” Hardison said, glancing over his shoulder. “Probably saved the kid’s life.”
“True,” Nate acknowledged. “However…Good Samaritan laws make things a little tricky. It’s just as likely Parker could be arrested for kidnapping because she didn’t immediately go to the police.”
“Samaritan Law only applies if the parent leaves the kid at a fire station or police department,” Eliot said. “This is straight up abandonment.”
“Look,” Sophie said, “at least she called us for help, right? That’s progress.”
“A week, Sophie,” Nate countered. “She’s been taking care of a newborn, by herself for a week. The only progress I see here is from complete disaster to possibly salvageable.”
***********************
Parker tensed; the baby was starting to squirm in her makeshift bed and make soft, unhappy noises. She’d figured out how to deal with the diapers and she thought she was keeping the baby clean. Feeding had been a bit more of a challenge, but after some truly spectacular projectile vomiting, she’d found a formula that the baby seemed to tolerate - if not actually enjoy.
“Why can’t you talk?” she sighed, picking the baby up and looking at her. The tiny infant screwed up her face and started to scream. Near tears herself, Parker raised the baby to her shoulder and resumed pacing the floor.
The lack of conversational ability was a definite design flaw in babies, she’d concluded. Parker didn’t like it when the baby cried, and she liked it even less when the crying was because she couldn’t figure out what the baby needed. I’m supposed to be helping you, she thought, trying the “patting thing” she’d seen mothers with similar size babies doing to calm their children down.
It wasn’t working. Parker carefully checked the diaper. Ruling that out, she went to her mini-fridge for a bottle she’d put together while the baby was sleeping. “Please stop,” she moaned, bouncing the baby with one arm as she tried to warm the bottle with the other. “They’re really gonna think I can’t take care of you and they’re going to make me give you to the foster care people.”
It was the fear that had lingered at the back of her mind since she’d found the child half-buried in a trashcan in the hotel she’d been casing, and it was the reason she’d been so careful about taking care of it. Whatever she didn’t know, she’d been reading up on. Everything she’d acquired that came with instructions, she’d followed the instructions to the letter.
****************
“Was I the only one hoping this was some kind of a misunderstanding?” Hardison asked. The four of them were standing outside the entrance to Parker’s warehouse home, and the sounds of a baby crying could be heard coming from inside.
“Right there with you,” Eliot said, staring fearfully at the door.
“She needs our help,” Sophie said, punching the entry code into the keypad by the door. “Pretty badly, I would imagine at this point.” The door swung open, and without waiting for the others, Sophie headed inside.
“Parker?” she called, once she was over the threshold. “We’re here!” The crying was definitely getting louder - Sophie could see Parker up ahead, pacing back and forth, trying to soothe the fitful infant.
“Sophie!” the thief called. “I need help - she won’t stop crying and the bottle was too warm and…”
“I’ll get the kid,” Eliot said, brushing past Sophie. She was relieved that he seemed to recognize a gentle touch was called for - anger and concern was still rolling off Nate in waves, and Hardison was clearly terrified of the whole situation.
By the time she reached Parker, Eliot had coaxed her into handing over the infant. “Do you know how to feed babies?” the thief asked, glaring at her teammate.
“I had four younger siblings and an older twin who would have sooner died than change a diaper, Parker. I know what to do - don’t worry.” Parker looked doubtful, but she finally handed the now-screaming infant over. Eliot shifted his grip on the child, picked up the bottle, and headed over to a nearby chair.
Sophie took a closer look at Parker. The girl was clearly exhausted - free of her burden she was swaying on her feet, and there were dark, bruise-colored circles under her eyes. “Parker,” Sophie asked carefully, “when was the last time you slept?”
The thief looked momentarily confused. “Two days ago?” she asked.
“Jesus,” Nate muttered under his breath. Out loud he said, “Hardison - see if she’s got anything to eat around here. If she’s been taking care of a crying infant round the clock, I bet she hasn’t eaten anything.”
Sophie exhaled softly, relieved that Nate had decided to be empathetic to Parker’s physical condition - if not her wisdom in getting herself into this situation in the first place. “Let’s go sit down,” she said, putting an arm around her shoulders and guiding Parker as far away from Eliot and the baby. The child’s cries were tapering off, and Eliot seemed to have the bottle situation in hand.
Now for our little mother, Sophie thought, helping Parker to sit down on the edge of the bed. The girl looked immediately up at Nate with a dull, hopeless expression on her face.
“You’re going to make me give her back, aren’t you?”
Sophie wondered if Parker understood the play of emotions chasing across Nate’s expression. Sophie knew that his earlier anger had been largely motivated by fear. While Parker’s intentions had obviously been good, Sophie knew there were many points in the past week where everything could have ended up horribly, horribly wrong. And then Parker would be crying over a dead baby, she thought with a small shudder.
Nate crouched in front of Parker so that he was looking up at her. “You did your best, Parker. We can all see that. And you probably saved her life. But you have to know that you can’t keep her.”
“Why not?” the thief complained, tears starting to fall silently down her cheeks. She’s so tired, Sophie thought, pulling the girl closer so that Parker could rest her head on Sophie’s shoulder.
“Her mama didn’t want her,” Parker said. “Just like my parents didn’t want me. I can fix things for her - make it so she doesn’t turn out like me.”
It was so sweet and well-meaning and Parker in its naïve simplicity that Sophie couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.
*********************
“Hey…slow down there!” Eliot said, easing the bottle away from the hungry child. Once he’d convinced her that the solution to her discomfort was right under her nose, two ounces of formula had disappeared in a half-dozen blinks. Rolling the baby into a sitting position over his hand, Eliot smiled when she let out a huge, gassy belch.
“You’re not that big,” he grinned at the child, moving her back into position and picking up the bottle again. “You are definitely too small to make that big a noise, missy.” He was rewarded with a smile that quickly disappeared when the baby smelled the rest of her lunch.
Sobering slightly as he waited for his charge to finish her meal, Eliot glanced over at the others. Hardison was busy throwing together food for Parker, while Nate and Sophie were trying to reason with Parker. Privately Eliot hoped they wouldn’t be too hard on her. The thief hadn’t thought things through, but Eliot couldn’t find any fault with her intentions. She’d tried her best - and done better than most. While Eliot hadn’t thoroughly examined her yet, the child seemed to be fine.
“You’re pretty good with that,” Hardison said. He grabbed a nearby chair for himself; Eliot looked past him to see that Sophie was trying to get Parker to eat. Nate had moved out of the sparse living area, and was talking to someone on his cell phone. That was quick.
To Hardison he said, “Four siblings, like I told Parker. Mom and Dad worked all the time, and Lindsey would have died before changing a diaper. You pick it up quick if the crying goes on long enough.” He looked down at his charge and saw that her eyes were closed.
“She asleep?” Hardison whispered.
Eliot smiled. “Kind of. Watch this.” He gave the bottle a gentle tug - the baby’s occasional sleepy suck on the nipple turned into a frantic nursing, trying even in her sleep to get every drop of formula she could. Eliot relaxed his grip on the bottle again and looked across at the hacker. “She’s a multi-tasker.”
As soon as he heard air being sucked through the nipple, Eliot slipped the bottle free and set it aside. The baby made a few fitful motions, but quieted down immediately when Eliot transferred her to his shoulder. “There we go,” he muttered, rubbing her back with firm circular motions, trying to coax a burp without waking her.
“You ever think about having kids?” Hardison asked. His expression was thoughtful.
“Long time ago,” Eliot admitted.
“Not now though?”
Eliot wondered if the other man was running potential future family scenarios in his head. “Kids are weakness, Hardison. Bad idea for people like us.” His gaze slid to Sophie, who was tucking Parker into bed. “She meant well, and all things considered she did better than I would have thought.”
He looked back at his teammate. “Nate’s right though. This little sweetheart needs a shot at a safe, normal life - and that’s something that none of us could ever give her. It’s no slam on Parker.”
“It’s just a fact.”