Warren Worthington III headcanons (pt4)
Further headcanons. In this part, a reflection of Warren’s most significant loves in a 5+1 parts format ficlet.
Krakoa-canon compliant, up to the date of the posting.
Posted also at Dreamwidth, Tumblr, AO3 and SquidgeWorld.
Part I | Part II: romantic life | Part III: more powers | Part IV: his women
I don’t plan to update it, should Marvel remember that Warren is an A-character and (gods save us!) pair Warren with someone new, but never say never.
His women
1. Jean Grey, the what if
Jean is his first everything. The first girl he felt mature love for. The first to not fall for him. The first to like - and hate - him for what he is (was), behind the looks or wealth. The first to offer him pure, disinterested friendship.
She is the reason why he strove to become a better person, why he learned to be less self-centered. She’s the drive that made him grow up.
Jean is... Jean. How can someone describe the complexity and paradox that is Jean Grey?
Fire and water, life and death, weakness and strength, omega powers and humbleness. Far from perfection and yet elected as the role model from a whole community, painted as a saint, but fierce as a demon. The soul of the X-Men, the star that lit their path even from dead.
The woman who was offered the cosmos, who held galaxies in her hand and nursed timelines back to life, but chose to stay earthbound. The woman who was offered ascension to more than mere godhood but chose to stay mortal. The woman who said no to a force older than the universe itself that wished to be one with her.
But Warren met Jean when she was none of this, when she still was a girl trying to find her place in the world and eager to prove that she could be a power to reckon with.
Jean is his first love.
He had his flings before a pair of wings sprouted from his back and changed his life forever. He never lacked flocks of girls who threw themselves his way. He could name a few, but he would eventually forget some. His looks, his status, his success in any sport he decided to apply himself - girls were eager to be with him. He was a self-centered teenager who knew he was beautiful - he felt it natural, it felt it was his right, to have beautiful girls fight for his attention. And he may have liked them, but with none of them he pretended there was more than mere attraction.
Again, teenage flings. Never he had applied to himself the term lovestruck until Jean Grey came into his life.
Sure, when she arrived at the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, the only girl in a class of four boys, it wasn’t love. She was beautiful, she was smart, she was witty. An eye-catcher that hid a brilliant mind under a head full of red hair. Unbothered by her being the only girl, amused by the way they all flocked around her in a race to impress her.
Love was the last thing that buzzed in his mind, back then.
But then somehow it happened. Sexual attraction softened, morphed into genuine interest and then more. As they went from teens to adults, as he grew from boy to man, his feelings for Jean changed as well.
The easier years. Before the Phoenix, before Apocalypse. When the very idea of a second class at the school was distant. When they still felt but a tight group of five adults who had known each other since forever, when the idea of splitting up was unbearable, when they still felt nothing could break them up, that they would never go separate ways - that somehow they would all find their place in the world but find themselves together at night, and eventually grow old but always together.
Jean has always been a woman who made her interest known. She didn’t play hard to catch. She didn’t wait for a man to court her - she didn’t want it either. When Scott tip-toed around her, she reached out, making her own feelings clear but, at the same time, waiting for him to come at his own pace.
And Warren stood on the sideline. Aware that he would always be the third wheel. It was hard for him, to back down - it was the first time for him, a lesson to be learned.
For years he felt the second best. The one Jean would chose, should Scott be unavailable - the one she would turn to, should Scott would loose his mind and turn her down. The one she would've picked had Scott never tried so hard to hide his interest. The man she would marry, had Scott backed down.
Perhaps something did happen between them, when Jean returned, when Scott was torn between the love for the woman he always wanted and duty toward the wife he built a family with, when Jean felt rejected by the man she expected to marry. There was an underlying current. And if only Candy wasn’t there, if only Scott...
Many ifs.
Now he knows better, though, Now he knows that spot in Jean’s heart belongs to Logan. There is no need to to see them share intimacy to understand that Logan has a place in Jean’s life that he’ll never have.
Too different from Scott to appeal to her when they were barely adults thrown in a world that would spit them out, too similar to appeal the her wilder side, the one that burns with fiery and feral passion.
He doesn’t care. He accepted long time ago that Jean was never meant to be at his side as lover. Jean was meant to be at his side as a friend.
Jean is his best friend. One of the few Warren ever allowed in his discreet life. One of the few privy to his secrets, one of the few that he shares his thoughts with.
Together they are two fifth of the First Class, the originals. And each of them has a special place in each other’s life. But Jean will always come first.
He likes to think he’s her best friend too. She’s full of friends to rely on, fellow X-Women she searches for a comforting hug or ask out for a date if she needs to take her mind off things, but he’s her oldest, the one she’ll find whenever she feels to share her mind about some private matter. If she needs to vent about Scott, he’s the first she goes to. Bittersweet. But Warren feels himself honored to be that person for Jean.
And yes, he might’ve been happy with Jean at his side. And he would’ve made sure to make her happy. He would’ve never made the same mistakes Scott did - he would’ve never jumped into a relationship with a Jean look-alike after burying her, he would’ve never jumped into Emma Frost’s arms with Jean sleeping every night beside him, breathing and gloriously alive.
But the ship is long sailed - or, to be more accurate, never existed to start with.
He wouldn’t trade their friendship for any timeline in which they eventually got together. If one of the eternal beings that rule the Omniverse came to him with an offer to live a life where Jean chose him over Scott, he wouldn’t accept. Sure, he’d be tempted, but in the end he would refuse. Loyal friends, especially the kind like Jean’s, are harder to come by than potential lovers or wives. But he can’t deny at, at times, he wonders how different his life could’ve been, had Jean that faithful first day picked him instead of Scott.
*
2. Candace Southern, the wife that’ll never be
Candy was his real first love. They’d been childhood friends, they dated, on and off while he tried to juggle between his vapid, rich disguise and his secret identity as X-Man. Her unintentional involvement during the first tragedy of his life, the murder of his father, had him cast her out of his life, her presence and closeness during the second tragedy, the death of his mother, cemented her place at his side.
Outside of the X-Men, she’s the first, since he debuted in the public as the Avenging Angel, to discover his secret mutation, the first to accept whom he really is without the need to have a mutant gene herself. Not only she accepted it, but embraced his uniqueness. Brave and reckless, she’s the first human ally the X-Men earn - unbothered by the secret, immediately ready to throw herself in the fray to protect them.
She was there when they all believed Charles Xavier had died, and they were left to face the world alone, deprived of the guidance of their patron. She was there when he met the new recruits, mutants who could fly on top of having other abilities, and he suddenly felt outdated, when he felt he could be discarded. She was there when the two classes tried to accommodate each other in the school, and Warren felt redundant. She was there when the first class disbanded to let the second class step in, and Warren felt adrift. She was there when, without the X-Men to take up his life, he found himself with too much time to fill. She was there when, with the first class scattered around, he had to relearn what privacy meant, with no shared bathrooms or nosy roommates. She was there when he suddenly found himself richer than he ever though he could be, with no idea how to manage such a scary inheritance all by himself.
Theirs have been a strong relationship, friends, partners. She was her right-man(right-woman), the brilliant business leader whom he could entrust his own fortune while he soared high, tailing any villain that threatened the world. Same background, same approach to life, both willing to enjoy life at its fullest and never shy about embracing the perks of their upbringing.
Candy not only accepted his mutant status but embraced it, with everything it entailed - dangers included. Eager to be part of his world, she plunged headlong in his adventures, never backing down, never asking him to stop. No matter the dangers they both faced, she never requested he choose between her or his lifestyle. Despite everything that happened to him (Heather’s mental manipulations, his blindness, the tragedies), her time as team leader for the Defenders it’s perhaps the best time in which Warren managed to have his private and mutant life to coexist.
If only he hadn’t been too young, too self-absorbed, too busy being the high-flying angel to consider to keep his feet on the ground... if he hadn’t been turned upside-down by Jean’s return and the conflicting feelings such miracle brought in his heart, he would’ve asked her to marry him. Candy would’ve been the perfect woman to be forever at his side. In a world where being the lover of a mutant doesn’t make you a target, in which non-mutants aren’t doomed to die between the arms of their mutant partner, Candy would’ve been the right woman to grow old with.
Too much went wrong with her, his life went downhill since that day she walked out of him. A part of him at times wonders how his life would've been if he had been given the chance to explain, to reassure Candy that there was no reason to be jealous of Jean, that his heart, for how disoriented and conflicted, in the end belonged to Candy. If only he sat down with Candy and explained her his heart tribulations, if only he had been honest with her since the beginning of the X-Factor project...
If Candy had been there, she would've noticed Hodge's machinations before it was too late. She was always the more perceptive of the two.
Who can say how different things would unfold, with her alive and at his side.
Her loss is a scar. The wound has healed, he can think back to her and not cry. He isn’t scared anymore by the photos of her he stashed away when it felt too hard for him to see them. But the scar will never vanish, and her name is forever branded on his heart. A part of him will forever belong to Candy. His innocence, the carefree Warren Worthington III who felt entitled to own the whole world in his hand, is gone with her and forever belongs to her.
It feels just right that he fell from the skies the same day he lost her, that he fell into Hell the day she stormed out of his life forever.
Does he hate that death doesn’t work on criminals, that death can’t keep Hodge, but Candy will never return? Yes. Does he hate that killers and mass-murderers can be brought back to life thanks to the resurrection protocols while Candy will never be able to return? Yes. That he was regenerated and kept alive even when he was killed and meant to die? Yes. But Candy was no mutant, and for humans death is final - she’s forever gone. And perhaps it’s best she stays that way. It’s best that she rests in peace, with no one ever having the ability to twist and manipulate her like it happens to them mutants, who can’t achieve peace even in death. She was returned to him once, a pawn to strike him, a weapon to hurt him. It was enough.
Besides, she wouldn’t like the Warren he has become. She would never accept the brutality, the violence he employs. She would never find in herself any reason to stay with him, after seeing - knowing - Archangel and what he entails. She would be disgusted, horrified, by the things he did, by the blood on his wings. Better she rests, never to be condemned to the knowledge that the man she loved has fallen from heaven, that he’s become a bringer of death.
Somewhere, in the thousands of timelines out there, there must be an alternate Earth in which Candy never doubted of his love, Jean’s presence didn’t come between them, and Hodge never betrayed them. Or an Earth in which he never jumped on the X-Factor project, where he didn’t listen to Hodge’s idea. Where Jean never met the Phoenix and died, or survived and retired in marriage with Scott, or Hodge died in a car accident before plotting his betrayal. Somewhere, there must be a Warren Worthington who had the chance to live his life with Candy to the very end.
At times he finds himself wishing to search for it, to explore all the realities out there, to become an Exile and jump from timeline to timeline, just to know that there’s a Warren out there who is truly happy.
*
3. Charlotte Jones, the regret
Charlotte is a stain, something he's ashamed for and will forever be ashamed for. Not for her, never for her - but for him, because everything was his fault.
He was in a bad place back then and not really himself, Charlotte was a life jacket, an hand held out, an offer. Someone who saw the angel behind the monster. Someone who was willing to accept that new Warren, unlike all his friends who just wanted the old Warren back.
She helped. Scraps, morsel of a real life. A woman different from Candy. Gruff, not born of rich, used to work hard to get by, an everyday warrior. A punch from reality for the wealthy privileged white boy who never got to know the hardship of the everyday life for those who can’t fly high and see everything from the sky.
Her closeness allowed him to find back the man he thought Apocalypse killed, her patience to work out his mood issues.
She saved him - more than she could ever think.
He had come to love little Timmy. Seeing him fight against his own condition was an example for him to fight back Apocalypse’s manipulations, an example to learn to accept his new self - the blue skin, the metallic wings that felt estranged to him like an artificial limb he rejected.
But, in the end, Charlotte was just a police officer. And he needed more. The high flying Archangel soared between goddesses and omega mutants, how could he stay earthbound?
She had her own issues, and couldn’t hold his own burdens as well. His depression, his moods. It was too much.
She was never asked if she wanted to take that burden, though - he just drifted away, closing himself off, facing his own inner demons and forgetting everyone else. She tried. She reached out for as long as she could. But at some point she gave up, unwilling to forever yap at his leg for a morsel of attention from the man she though was her boyfriend. A relationship can work only if both the parties care and fight for it, and Warren soon lost the will to fight. Ghosting Charlotte was the easiest way, for an angel that felt too blue to embrace happiness.
He still feels bad for how it ended, for how he vanished on her instead of manning up and break up vis-a-vis. He would like to cling to excuses, to blame the hectic life of an X-Men, to hide behind Magneto and the Phalanx and every other thing that happened, every danger that fell on them. But the truth is that he wasn’t in the right mind to care for his romantic life, he was just tired of everything and he barely held himself together as an X-Men.
He still feels bad. But he can't change his past.
They met a couple of times. She was closed off and annoyed they happened in the same place. She has every right to clam up and get rude to him. He was an asshole, he deserved to be treated as one. He will never fault Charlotte for not forgiving him.
He wonders how Timmy is doing. He wished he could help him, be the silent patron that tends to his needs, to pay for his tuition. But Charlotte would never allow him. When he vanished, he vanished on Timmy too after all.
He had been tempted, though. To fly to the block where she lives, find a good spot on a near roof and wait for Timmy to walk on the street below, to make sure he’s fine and he still has that bright smile on his face. But he doesn’t feel like handling that rejection, the risk of Timmy raising his head and see the man perched like a hawk to check on him. He likes to think back to Timmy as the boy he left the last time he opened his wings and took flight from Charlotte’s window.
Besides, Charlotte would come to have his ass, should he show up to Timmy out of the blue.
He learned from that mistake though: he broke up with Betsy as soon as he understood their relationship was stagnating, before they would eventually drift apart.
*
4. Paige Guthrie, the mistake
Paige is... Well. Let's say he was hurting and confused. Very very confused.
He's not one to repudiate the past, for everything that happened to him - good or bad - is what made him the man he is. For all the things he would erase, there are worse things than a wrong relationship that was started on the wrong premises. They fell for each other and so be it. Although, nowadays, he can't understand how that even happened. They really were too much different. In any other moment of his life it would've never happened. But he was mourning Betsy, in a time when death was forever. And Paige was there, reaching out, willing to help him and ready to stomp her feet on the ground and force-pull him out of the self-pity mood he was wallowing in.
And Paige too, she was in no good place. Rebounding off her failed romance with Starsmore, perhaps she thought that with someone older than her things would be different, that she wouldn’t be forced to be with someone who kept self-sabotaging his love life. She took a look at him and thought he was different, that the only Original who was public and proud about his mutation would be the farthest from a Gen-X whose mutation took out half of his face and chest.
Not to say they didn’t have a good time, while it lasted. But, why. He didn’t act like himself, or perhaps not like the himself he had been since that moment. In a way, with Paige he was back to be the first Warren, the teenager - the Warren before the tragedies that forever marred his sunny nature. The Warren of the First Class - before Candy, before his uncle, before everything. He acted immature, he didn’t act like the responsible adult one would expect from someone who is a founder of the X-Men and a businessman who sits on a multi-bilionaire fortune, runs a Fortune 100 company and is stockholder in too many places for him to even remember.
Only when he was at his lowest, memory-less and naive, he had stopped as low. Sex in the sky right above Lucinda Guthrie’s nose? What the hell was he thinking? This is something sixteen-years-old Warren would do, what the pre-mutant socialite would do - not [twenty/third-something-I-hate-you-timescale] Worthington!
He got much flack from Bobby because of this, but even someone who knew him as much as Bobby admitted he was different with Paige, younger - an attitude that had been stripped out of him by Apocalypse. Perhaps this is why nobody stepped in, why none of his oldest friends planned an intervention to save him from embarrassing himself. Why, other than Bobby’s jabs, he was left alone.
Paige did make him feel younger and carefree, in a way that he had forgotten. And for that, he should be grateful to her.
But he was no more a teenager, and he should’ve been more mature than that. More mature than giving in. He should’ve stuck to his role of First Class and team leader to Paige’s Generation X, two different generations, too much age difference.
With hindsight, he should’ve listened to Stacy X. He owes Miranda an apology: she said those things because she wanted to get into his pants, sure - still, she was right.
All in all, it was a phase that didn't last much and he won't talk about it.
He might be embarrassed about how he acted, but Paige doesn’t deserve ill feelings. She was there when he unknowingly needed someone like her, after all, and never shied away. Fought for what she wanted, when he was playing hard to catch and clinging to what he felt was ethically right to do (which was not make a move on Paige) - and he must give it to her, the girl is a warrior.
When they eventually drifted apart, they did so in good ways. There’s no avoided glances and stunned silences if they are assigned to the same team, there is the right amount of closeness and camaraderie one would expect from fellow X-Men. They don’t greet each other with kisses nor they hug after a tragedy, but he is a private person and he isn’t big on gestures - but, should she need a hug, he wouldn’t shy away, and she would do the same for him.
He couldn’t ask no more, for a relationship that had been an error from his part.
*
5. Elizabeth Braddock, the other half
Elizabeth is and will always be his soulmate. He might feel silly to say it aloud, and he likely will never admit it even in the privacy of his mind, but deep inside he knows it.
Both born privileged, both proud of their mutation, both magazine material, both striking handsome. If someone had to come up with a more perfect pair, they couldn’t draw one better assorted than them. White or blue, Asian or English, it doesn’t matter. They would be the pet of gossip, guest to the best glamorous events, they could be the king and queen of New York if only they wanted.
If only they weren’t mutants, actually. Or, at least, if their affiliation to the X-Men and mutants weren’t public - or if people were enamored with mutants as they are with the Avengers and the Fantastic Four or anyone else on the side of angels who has superpowers and isn’t named Spider-Man.
Both manipulated by others.
But Betsy has always been the strongest of the two. Where he reacted to what Apocalypse did with gloom, by turning depressed and introverted, by wallowing in self-pity or venting his rage on himself, she reacted to each manipulation by getting more determined and hard, by not letting the pain drag her down, by focusing that rage in her moves, using it to strengthen her tk knife. For months, after he returned into the X-Factor fold, he fought his metal wings, he rejected their power, he avoided mirrors for the fear of meeting his own blue reflection, he pretended that Warren Worthington was no more, dead like his wings. She, after regaining control of her mind and back to the X-Men, immediately made use of her acquired ninja abilities and adapted her mutant powers to efficiently use them in conjunction with the new fighting skills, turning an already deadly body into an even more deadly warrior. And she accepted the differences in her body, she focused on what good it came with, she didn’t clung to what she lost. Unlike him, who had to break one heart, watch her dead girlfriend die again between his arms and be kicked in the face by his best friend, before understanding that he had to reclaim his whole life and accept that it didn’t matter the hue of his skin or the metal protruding out of his shoulders where feathers once had been - that Warren Worthington III, the High Flying Angel, was still down there, even if he now soared on metal wings.
Together they faced everything. They endured and survived, they died and resurrected. Always bouncing back to each other. As if some uncanny force bound them together.
They hurt each other, every time. Unwilling. Forced by the events, forced by others. They aren't good for each other, because they indulge and worsen each other's addictions. They're good for each other, because they are the other’s rock.
Forces like death, time, mystical powers and Apocalypse didn’t manage to keep them apart; stress, different attitudes, different goals and stagnation did.
Betsy isn’t a woman to settle down. She constantly needs excitement, she needs to live life at its fullest. She craves for the adrenaline that fights pump in her vein, she needs to always be at the center of the field. Ninja or mutant, she doesn’t bode well with monotony.
He’d sign any contract that granted him a quiet life in which to enjoy his money, soar the sky and retire in the night to sleep near the woman he loves. He always returns to the X-Men, no matter how many times he promises himself that this is the last time, that this is the final retirement. But she can’t stay away from adventure - if the X-Men disbanded and mutants suddenly had no more enemies, she would find other ways, other teams, other allies and foes. She would hop literally to other worlds and times. Not even death managed to force her to stay put and rest. Not even Krakoa managed to make her stop and rest.
And then Archangel, the dark shadow he carries within himself came. He, the one who rejects and fights Betsy, the only one who stands between them. The reason why she twice returned to him, the reason why she leaves everything to fight his own battle, to protect the Angel from the Archangel in Archangel’s never-ending battle for supremacy over the man Warren Worthingon. And eventually he won. He didn’t manage to break them apart the first time, he drew them closer. He didn’t manage to break them apart the second time, when Betsy lied with the enemy in order to get to him. He didn’t manage to break them apart the third time, when it were His wings that saved her from being consumed by the darkness of the Shadow King. But He got his revenge, Archangel won the very moment Warren found a way to get rid of Him. And Betsy had to call forth Archangel to save Angel from himself - and the whole world with him.
They have drifted apart now. They didn’t break up, not like other people do. One day they were besotted with each other, happier than ever, an English woman finally back in her own original body and a smitten bird eager to get to know a woman finally complete. The next Nate Grey came and turned their own little world upside down. And then, Krakoa.
As he said, he eventually bounces back to the X-Men and she can’t stay away from the field. If only they’d staid in Colorado, if they haven’t returned to the fold... would their history be different, then? Would they be part of the few that Nate left behind, to pick up the pieces in a world where suddenly all mutants where considered dead and gone? Who knows.
But they didn’t. They were on the front line. He switched sides. She used her tk knife to force him back to her. He shouted to her, he reluctantly helped the X-Men. And then. Then, they both got sucked in that twisted utopia, and they never recovered from that.
And now they’re strangers. They barely exchange glances when they’re in the same place, they barely nod each other in greeting before parting ways again, each headed to their own way. They never stop and talk to each other - there's never the chance. They don't know how. Too much was done to them, too many changes. It’s like a wall has been build between them while they were too busy to notice, and they both don’t seem interested in tearing it down.
Or perhaps it’s just that they don’t know. Or perhaps they are scared to see what awaits on the other side.
It’s like a lifetime has passed by since the last time they were close, and now they’ve become two different people - gone are the X-Woman who fought with tk weapons and the X-Man who patrolled the skies. He traded his uniform for high-fashion suits, and she traded her trademark pinks for the Union Jack colors. He put aside his mutant abilities to use what is in his blood instead, she stripped of her very mutant name to build herself another identity. He left the aerial fights for the equally brutal economic battlefields, she this Earth for the Omniverse.
They have become strangers now - the CXO and the Captain Britain, the man with the duty to keep X-Corp floating and Monet in check, and the woman in charge with the security of Otherworld saddled with the overbearing presence of the less fashionable, more annoying lost sister of Emma Frost.
And now Betsy apparently found love again with someone else. Warren is void and tired. He feels like he failed yet another woman. That it just isn’t it in him to keep a woman. That he’s doomed to eventually be alone, that anyone he falls for eventually will leave him for greener pastures.
He’s bitter. But is also happy for her. He’s not cruel, he’s not heartless. He’s not that kind of asshole who wishes ill or failure to the woman who had once been his out of spite.
Nor he is annoyed that his former girlfriend now swings for the other spectrum. They all have met and fallen for aliens, gods or cosmic forces - what’s gender, compared to this?
Of all the people he knows, Betsy is the one who deserves peace and happiness the most. After all she endured, she’s entitled to. So, if she’s found the right person to find peace with, then so be it. If Rachel is the person who can bring out the good in Betsy, or even just give her a slice of happy married life, then so be it. He knows Rachel - she’s not one he would call friend, they don’t share a close bond and is little more than a fellow X-Men to him, but he knows her enough to know she’s good inside. Perhaps a bit troubled, a dark past that at time resurfaces - but who, between them X-Men, can call himself truly innocent and clean?
Rachel is strong and stands for what she considers right. She’s not scared to take sides, even against her own friends - he would know, she was one of the few who sided with them time-displaced five, when everyone (Betsy included) were hunting them, unwilling to listen to what they had to say. Rachel will be a good partner for Betsy. With Rachel, Betsy won’t fall in her old habits. There won’t be an Archangel lusting for blood who will drag her back into black-ops missions and killing sprees.
It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t feel a pang of pain whenever she sees records of them together, fighting or making a guest apparition to some gala. That he doesn’t feel the need to avoid his eyes whenever they show up together in Krakoa and his keen sight spots a flaming head or familiar purple hair in the crowd. Eagle eyes are both a blessing and a curse, at times.
He remembers himself that the past must stay in the past, that it’s time to look at the future ahead. That he moved on from Candy, and he can move on from Betsy as well.
But within, he feels that they aren't done. That somehow they’ll eventually fall back in their old paths. As if they were somehow doomed, struck in a loop they can’t escape, no matter how hard they run or fly.
They are connected and forever be. That is nothing neither Archangel, nor Otherworld, can change.
*
+1. Laura Kinney, once forgotten
Laura is what was never meant to be. If Hank hadn’t plucked their younger selves from their time to throw them in a dark future, nothing with Laura would’ve happened.
Laura has always been a child to his eyes. A child born out of pain, created to be nothing but a killing machine. Warren had known her as such, the feral female, younger counterpart to Logan - silent and cold, troubled and obedient. A reliable partner, for a black-ops squad made of killing machines. Wrong place for her, right for everyone else involved.
They never clicked but they didn’t disagree either. Both too reserved, too stuck in their own killing machine mind, both prisoners to their own darkness. They worked well together, they protected each other’s back, they even supported each other. Yet, they barely exchanged few words. No matter that she lived in his house, hanged around in his kitchen - or saved his life on the field.
He didn’t spare a thought to her, when they reshuffled the team and Logan put his foot down on her being out of the team - they lost a killing machine, but they were getting Betsy out of the exchange, and that was all that mattered at the time. And then everything went to hell.
To this day, he can’t explain how they fell together.
He doesn’t know what Laura saw in him. How Laura could see the teenager Warren and separate him from the adult Archangel of Death Laura had worked with. Perhaps she understood that they were as different as they could come, that the teenager Angel had nothing in common with that Warren Worthington but the genetic makeup. Perhaps he had changed in the meantime and he hadn’t known.
She was one of the few young mutants they hanged out with in their future. He’s always been a socialite, back then - always a flirt. He was young and still foolish. Perhaps he unconsciously searched for someone different from him to ground him. Perhaps for once he wanted to help a broken person. Or perhaps it was the meeting the first girl to not fall for his charms - Jean Grey all over again.
They were sun and moon, carefree and troubled, light and dark.
Yet, for some time it worked. Against all odds Laura returned his feeble feelings and they spent quality time together, like only a pair of teens involved with the X-Men can. He managed to make her smile. And he liked it. With him, she was less gloomy, at times he could see her eyes shine with some of the lightheartedness she was robbed her whole life. Twice he even managed to stole her a laugh. She compensated for his hot-headedness and his impulsivity.
But then he ruined it all. In his desperate attempts to escape his fixed destiny, he put a wedge between them. But how could she understand? To know that you have your fate presented to you, to see whom you will become, the horrors... Nobody ever had the galls to look him in the eye and explain how he ended up to be a Warren who believed himself an angel. Why he would gain metallic wings. Why he would drastically change in body and mind. Why he would loose himself. Everybody glossed over, everybody avoided his questions. He was left with what the cold files told him, and his mind to fill the gaps.
He didn't share his fears with her, and Laura didn't reach out. To be fair, she didn't know how to. And he didn't give her any chance. His choice to keep the Black Vortex modifications was the start of the ending.
And then secrets built up. With hindsight she could've helped him, had she trusted in her. She had known the Warren who had been (the Warren he was doomed to become), and she knew too well the burdens of fury and a drive to commit violence. But he didn't trust her. And she was right to give up on them.
They drifted apart. And in such a sour way that, by the time them five were about to return to the past, he and Laura didn't even exchange a word - not a farewell, not a goodbye.
But theirs had always been a hopeless thing, something with an already written expiration date. A relationship he forgot, until the block on his memories fell.
He took the time to thank her for putting up with his younger self. For not telling him what she knew about his future. He asked her permission for a hug. Not as paternal figure, not as a brother, but not a distant lover either. He recalls with melancholic affection that brief time in which they were happy, when he felt that with Laura he could fix all the wrongs in the world - when he got a respite from the X-Men and returned to be the Avenging Angel, not alone but standing alongside a Wolverine.
Laura has Logan. But he promised he would be there for her if she ever needed help. As a friend. As a fellow X-Men who every day has to fight the darkness within.
Notes
Jean
I see the potential for this pair in early Silver Age X-Men and later X-Factor, and I could see a (better) evolution of Scott's character in which he overcomes Jean's death, and - even if he's understandably conflicted with Jean's return - eventually stays with Maddie because he might've fallen for Maddie out of her likeness with Jean, but he's come to genuinely love her; the pain of seeing her die has forced him to mature and their love belongs to the past, as the "high-school" romances. In this case, Jean and Warren get closer. But this would mean Warren breaking up with Candy for Jean, which... no.
It's disappointing that in the only What If...? in which we see Jean picking Warren during the First Class era, everything is portrayed as a bad fanfiction, with Scott leaving the X-Men and becoming evil.
Candy
Candy is... Candy. My endgame is Warren/Betsy, but Candy is almost there. Wherever Warren goes, Candy goes to (I have two Warren/Betsy AUs - a medieval fantasy and an 1800s historical - and Candy gets her part in Warren’s life in both, shaping him and leaving a hole that Betsy has to struggle to fill. In the fantasy Candy is the reason why Warren doesn’t give Betsy a chance and rebuffs Betsy’s every attempt at building a bridge between them).
If Marvel really wants to stick to Betsy/Rachel even after Howard leaves and Betsy ends up in other hands, then my dream would be to have Candy return - she’s not a mutant, but a retcon is behind the corner, should an author want to head that route (as proven with Moira McTaggart), and it’s not that in Marvel universe non-powered people never return from dead anyway.
Charlotte
I liked them. But they really were too different to work on the long run. When X-Factor folded back into X-Men, authors had Warren act like a dick toward Charlotte. I think Warren would be the guy who went and broke up, instead of ghosting a girl. But he was in a bad shape, so it works. I personally know how it feels to let things drift and avoid confrontation and then wake up one day and realize too much time has passed and the train has left and you can’t get back and fix things (or, really, just close them as they should). Still, a dick. I would’ve loved it any authors hinted that Warren paid a scholarship, founded his medical cures or even invited Timmy to fly on mechanics wings in that X-Men Unlimited story.
I was one of those who hoped the Archangel-wannabe Cherub of Children of the Atom was Timmy. Sadly, I was disappointed. Part of me is tempted to ignore that the guy is actually called Gabe and has nothing to do with Timmy.
Paige
I think what I feel about her is heavily reflected in her chapter.
I’m not a rabid hater (the “sex in the air right above momma Guthrie’s head” scene notwithstanding) but I feel we could remove that portion of his romantic life from Warren’s history and not miss/loose anything (although this pairing deprived us of more flirting and panel presence of Stacy X who was unceremoniously scraped off). They were attracted to each other out of the blue (especially him; Paige had every reason to be JUST physically attracted but he? They probably never shared a panel before since Gen X debuted), then together one moment, and the next they had fallen out and their relationship never be mentioned or hinted at again. For the best, I think. It was so poorly executed that it’s hard to salvage anything of that ship. I tried my best.
Betsy
As a hard Warren/Betsy shipper, it’s very difficult for me to accept Betsy/Rachel. How it came to be, and especially with how the Betsy/Warren remains unresolved (the confrontation with alternate!Warren is too little and too ambiguous to satisfy anyone who ever cared for the ship) doesn’t help, but it’s how it’s portrayed (in every issue they have to be shown holding hands, kiss, exchange love confessions or flirt) that irks me. I can’t speak for other hetero ships, but Betsy/Warren didn’t need this amount of “in the face” to work - and Wildstorm/DC Apollo/Midnighter neither. It’s as if the author doesn’t trust her writing and/or has to make sure the readers don’t forget that “these two queer women are a couple” - or wants to be sure the readers don’t have any way to ignore their queer status.
It’s not that I have something intrinsic against Betsy and Rachel per se, but I just know that - now that she’s been paired with a woman - Betsy will be forever stuck on the “lesbian” side of the mutants. No matter that she has been straight for most of her comic tenure (with the bi-ness ambiguous at best with her thing with Phatomex/Cluster). I am one for bi!Betsy, actually. But the majority of Rachel/Betsy fans (or at least the more vocal, the ones who seek queer representation in any form no matter the characters involved and if their previous canon history allows for this, some who staid with Howard only because of the promise of the queer couple, some who barely knew who Betsy was or never liked the character and jumped on for the pair only, some who gush on butch!Rachel despite Rachel never being buff - or tall like English!amazon!Betsy either) seem at times to forget that Betsy isn’t lesbian but bisex: if in the future an author decided to stray from this narrative, the backlash would be massive. Marvel wouldn’t want to the accused of queer erasure because Betsy left her (butch) Askani for a man. That’s why I fear Howard put a tombstone on Warren/Betsy. Nowadays, there’s no turning back once a character is portrayed as queer, bi-erasure is still strong.
Tiny Howard, by making Rachel jealous of Saturnyne but not of Peter or any other man Betsy has to do with (including recently Tony Stark, who is a womanizer and the kind of man Betsy used to dig), doesn’t help. Objectively, one could think Rachel is only jealous of women because it’s her first lesbian relationship and she’s insecure. But the message the reader gets is that Rachel is only jealous of women because she doesn’t perceive men as a “threat” - as in, Betsy doesn’t care for men (like Warren was jealous of Betsy close to Neal Sharra but not of any X-Women Betsy hang out with).
I have this feeling that Howard did this move to establish Betsy as different from Kwannon - she was given a character that was mostly blank, since everything we had come to know of Betsy was given to Kwannon (name, butterfly, powers, looks, attitude, roles within the X-Men - Kwannon got everything in the divorce!), and in hindsight the choice to make alternate!Warren married and divorced from Kwannon further strengthen this (Warren, and Neal and all the men she flirted, fucked or kissed, are Kwannon’s Betsy - Betsy’s Betsy is Rachel).
At this point I resigned to the fact that Betsy will never return with Warren. But accept the reality doesn’t make it easier to swallow it.
All in all, I tried to respect the new pair nonetheless and paint Warren as an understanding, decent man who still loves dearly Betsy and knows he has to let her go (she’s already gone - she has to let his feelings for her go, that’s what I mean).
Laura
I’m in the minority that didn’t dislike Warren/Laura. I maintain that they had potential but it was a)poorly executed and b)at some point the authors weren’t interested and gave up.
As with everything from the time-displaced!O5, canon never referenced to them again. I like to think Laura has put her thing with Warren in the list of fallen relationships of her life, but has understood that they were never meant to be in the first place and, with time, learned to appreciate the small goods things she got from that time.
Warren, on the other hand, might be conflicted. He got to know Laura as an adult but then had a romance with her as a teen. But he might be conflicted on everything that happened during that time - the infodump of memories, once Jean’s block fell, must have been insane and, of all, the ones of his thing with Laura were far from the worst.
Krakoa-canon compliant, up to the date of the posting.
Posted also at Dreamwidth, Tumblr, AO3 and SquidgeWorld.
Part I | Part II: romantic life | Part III: more powers | Part IV: his women
I don’t plan to update it, should Marvel remember that Warren is an A-character and (gods save us!) pair Warren with someone new, but never say never.
His women
1. Jean Grey, the what if
Jean is his first everything. The first girl he felt mature love for. The first to not fall for him. The first to like - and hate - him for what he is (was), behind the looks or wealth. The first to offer him pure, disinterested friendship.
She is the reason why he strove to become a better person, why he learned to be less self-centered. She’s the drive that made him grow up.
Jean is... Jean. How can someone describe the complexity and paradox that is Jean Grey?
Fire and water, life and death, weakness and strength, omega powers and humbleness. Far from perfection and yet elected as the role model from a whole community, painted as a saint, but fierce as a demon. The soul of the X-Men, the star that lit their path even from dead.
The woman who was offered the cosmos, who held galaxies in her hand and nursed timelines back to life, but chose to stay earthbound. The woman who was offered ascension to more than mere godhood but chose to stay mortal. The woman who said no to a force older than the universe itself that wished to be one with her.
But Warren met Jean when she was none of this, when she still was a girl trying to find her place in the world and eager to prove that she could be a power to reckon with.
Jean is his first love.
He had his flings before a pair of wings sprouted from his back and changed his life forever. He never lacked flocks of girls who threw themselves his way. He could name a few, but he would eventually forget some. His looks, his status, his success in any sport he decided to apply himself - girls were eager to be with him. He was a self-centered teenager who knew he was beautiful - he felt it natural, it felt it was his right, to have beautiful girls fight for his attention. And he may have liked them, but with none of them he pretended there was more than mere attraction.
Again, teenage flings. Never he had applied to himself the term lovestruck until Jean Grey came into his life.
Sure, when she arrived at the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, the only girl in a class of four boys, it wasn’t love. She was beautiful, she was smart, she was witty. An eye-catcher that hid a brilliant mind under a head full of red hair. Unbothered by her being the only girl, amused by the way they all flocked around her in a race to impress her.
Love was the last thing that buzzed in his mind, back then.
But then somehow it happened. Sexual attraction softened, morphed into genuine interest and then more. As they went from teens to adults, as he grew from boy to man, his feelings for Jean changed as well.
The easier years. Before the Phoenix, before Apocalypse. When the very idea of a second class at the school was distant. When they still felt but a tight group of five adults who had known each other since forever, when the idea of splitting up was unbearable, when they still felt nothing could break them up, that they would never go separate ways - that somehow they would all find their place in the world but find themselves together at night, and eventually grow old but always together.
Jean has always been a woman who made her interest known. She didn’t play hard to catch. She didn’t wait for a man to court her - she didn’t want it either. When Scott tip-toed around her, she reached out, making her own feelings clear but, at the same time, waiting for him to come at his own pace.
And Warren stood on the sideline. Aware that he would always be the third wheel. It was hard for him, to back down - it was the first time for him, a lesson to be learned.
For years he felt the second best. The one Jean would chose, should Scott be unavailable - the one she would turn to, should Scott would loose his mind and turn her down. The one she would've picked had Scott never tried so hard to hide his interest. The man she would marry, had Scott backed down.
Perhaps something did happen between them, when Jean returned, when Scott was torn between the love for the woman he always wanted and duty toward the wife he built a family with, when Jean felt rejected by the man she expected to marry. There was an underlying current. And if only Candy wasn’t there, if only Scott...
Many ifs.
Now he knows better, though, Now he knows that spot in Jean’s heart belongs to Logan. There is no need to to see them share intimacy to understand that Logan has a place in Jean’s life that he’ll never have.
Too different from Scott to appeal to her when they were barely adults thrown in a world that would spit them out, too similar to appeal the her wilder side, the one that burns with fiery and feral passion.
He doesn’t care. He accepted long time ago that Jean was never meant to be at his side as lover. Jean was meant to be at his side as a friend.
Jean is his best friend. One of the few Warren ever allowed in his discreet life. One of the few privy to his secrets, one of the few that he shares his thoughts with.
Together they are two fifth of the First Class, the originals. And each of them has a special place in each other’s life. But Jean will always come first.
He likes to think he’s her best friend too. She’s full of friends to rely on, fellow X-Women she searches for a comforting hug or ask out for a date if she needs to take her mind off things, but he’s her oldest, the one she’ll find whenever she feels to share her mind about some private matter. If she needs to vent about Scott, he’s the first she goes to. Bittersweet. But Warren feels himself honored to be that person for Jean.
And yes, he might’ve been happy with Jean at his side. And he would’ve made sure to make her happy. He would’ve never made the same mistakes Scott did - he would’ve never jumped into a relationship with a Jean look-alike after burying her, he would’ve never jumped into Emma Frost’s arms with Jean sleeping every night beside him, breathing and gloriously alive.
But the ship is long sailed - or, to be more accurate, never existed to start with.
He wouldn’t trade their friendship for any timeline in which they eventually got together. If one of the eternal beings that rule the Omniverse came to him with an offer to live a life where Jean chose him over Scott, he wouldn’t accept. Sure, he’d be tempted, but in the end he would refuse. Loyal friends, especially the kind like Jean’s, are harder to come by than potential lovers or wives. But he can’t deny at, at times, he wonders how different his life could’ve been, had Jean that faithful first day picked him instead of Scott.
*
2. Candace Southern, the wife that’ll never be
Candy was his real first love. They’d been childhood friends, they dated, on and off while he tried to juggle between his vapid, rich disguise and his secret identity as X-Man. Her unintentional involvement during the first tragedy of his life, the murder of his father, had him cast her out of his life, her presence and closeness during the second tragedy, the death of his mother, cemented her place at his side.
Outside of the X-Men, she’s the first, since he debuted in the public as the Avenging Angel, to discover his secret mutation, the first to accept whom he really is without the need to have a mutant gene herself. Not only she accepted it, but embraced his uniqueness. Brave and reckless, she’s the first human ally the X-Men earn - unbothered by the secret, immediately ready to throw herself in the fray to protect them.
She was there when they all believed Charles Xavier had died, and they were left to face the world alone, deprived of the guidance of their patron. She was there when he met the new recruits, mutants who could fly on top of having other abilities, and he suddenly felt outdated, when he felt he could be discarded. She was there when the two classes tried to accommodate each other in the school, and Warren felt redundant. She was there when the first class disbanded to let the second class step in, and Warren felt adrift. She was there when, without the X-Men to take up his life, he found himself with too much time to fill. She was there when, with the first class scattered around, he had to relearn what privacy meant, with no shared bathrooms or nosy roommates. She was there when he suddenly found himself richer than he ever though he could be, with no idea how to manage such a scary inheritance all by himself.
Theirs have been a strong relationship, friends, partners. She was her right-man(right-woman), the brilliant business leader whom he could entrust his own fortune while he soared high, tailing any villain that threatened the world. Same background, same approach to life, both willing to enjoy life at its fullest and never shy about embracing the perks of their upbringing.
Candy not only accepted his mutant status but embraced it, with everything it entailed - dangers included. Eager to be part of his world, she plunged headlong in his adventures, never backing down, never asking him to stop. No matter the dangers they both faced, she never requested he choose between her or his lifestyle. Despite everything that happened to him (Heather’s mental manipulations, his blindness, the tragedies), her time as team leader for the Defenders it’s perhaps the best time in which Warren managed to have his private and mutant life to coexist.
If only he hadn’t been too young, too self-absorbed, too busy being the high-flying angel to consider to keep his feet on the ground... if he hadn’t been turned upside-down by Jean’s return and the conflicting feelings such miracle brought in his heart, he would’ve asked her to marry him. Candy would’ve been the perfect woman to be forever at his side. In a world where being the lover of a mutant doesn’t make you a target, in which non-mutants aren’t doomed to die between the arms of their mutant partner, Candy would’ve been the right woman to grow old with.
Too much went wrong with her, his life went downhill since that day she walked out of him. A part of him at times wonders how his life would've been if he had been given the chance to explain, to reassure Candy that there was no reason to be jealous of Jean, that his heart, for how disoriented and conflicted, in the end belonged to Candy. If only he sat down with Candy and explained her his heart tribulations, if only he had been honest with her since the beginning of the X-Factor project...
If Candy had been there, she would've noticed Hodge's machinations before it was too late. She was always the more perceptive of the two.
Who can say how different things would unfold, with her alive and at his side.
Her loss is a scar. The wound has healed, he can think back to her and not cry. He isn’t scared anymore by the photos of her he stashed away when it felt too hard for him to see them. But the scar will never vanish, and her name is forever branded on his heart. A part of him will forever belong to Candy. His innocence, the carefree Warren Worthington III who felt entitled to own the whole world in his hand, is gone with her and forever belongs to her.
It feels just right that he fell from the skies the same day he lost her, that he fell into Hell the day she stormed out of his life forever.
Does he hate that death doesn’t work on criminals, that death can’t keep Hodge, but Candy will never return? Yes. Does he hate that killers and mass-murderers can be brought back to life thanks to the resurrection protocols while Candy will never be able to return? Yes. That he was regenerated and kept alive even when he was killed and meant to die? Yes. But Candy was no mutant, and for humans death is final - she’s forever gone. And perhaps it’s best she stays that way. It’s best that she rests in peace, with no one ever having the ability to twist and manipulate her like it happens to them mutants, who can’t achieve peace even in death. She was returned to him once, a pawn to strike him, a weapon to hurt him. It was enough.
Besides, she wouldn’t like the Warren he has become. She would never accept the brutality, the violence he employs. She would never find in herself any reason to stay with him, after seeing - knowing - Archangel and what he entails. She would be disgusted, horrified, by the things he did, by the blood on his wings. Better she rests, never to be condemned to the knowledge that the man she loved has fallen from heaven, that he’s become a bringer of death.
Somewhere, in the thousands of timelines out there, there must be an alternate Earth in which Candy never doubted of his love, Jean’s presence didn’t come between them, and Hodge never betrayed them. Or an Earth in which he never jumped on the X-Factor project, where he didn’t listen to Hodge’s idea. Where Jean never met the Phoenix and died, or survived and retired in marriage with Scott, or Hodge died in a car accident before plotting his betrayal. Somewhere, there must be a Warren Worthington who had the chance to live his life with Candy to the very end.
At times he finds himself wishing to search for it, to explore all the realities out there, to become an Exile and jump from timeline to timeline, just to know that there’s a Warren out there who is truly happy.
*
3. Charlotte Jones, the regret
Charlotte is a stain, something he's ashamed for and will forever be ashamed for. Not for her, never for her - but for him, because everything was his fault.
He was in a bad place back then and not really himself, Charlotte was a life jacket, an hand held out, an offer. Someone who saw the angel behind the monster. Someone who was willing to accept that new Warren, unlike all his friends who just wanted the old Warren back.
She helped. Scraps, morsel of a real life. A woman different from Candy. Gruff, not born of rich, used to work hard to get by, an everyday warrior. A punch from reality for the wealthy privileged white boy who never got to know the hardship of the everyday life for those who can’t fly high and see everything from the sky.
Her closeness allowed him to find back the man he thought Apocalypse killed, her patience to work out his mood issues.
She saved him - more than she could ever think.
He had come to love little Timmy. Seeing him fight against his own condition was an example for him to fight back Apocalypse’s manipulations, an example to learn to accept his new self - the blue skin, the metallic wings that felt estranged to him like an artificial limb he rejected.
But, in the end, Charlotte was just a police officer. And he needed more. The high flying Archangel soared between goddesses and omega mutants, how could he stay earthbound?
She had her own issues, and couldn’t hold his own burdens as well. His depression, his moods. It was too much.
She was never asked if she wanted to take that burden, though - he just drifted away, closing himself off, facing his own inner demons and forgetting everyone else. She tried. She reached out for as long as she could. But at some point she gave up, unwilling to forever yap at his leg for a morsel of attention from the man she though was her boyfriend. A relationship can work only if both the parties care and fight for it, and Warren soon lost the will to fight. Ghosting Charlotte was the easiest way, for an angel that felt too blue to embrace happiness.
He still feels bad for how it ended, for how he vanished on her instead of manning up and break up vis-a-vis. He would like to cling to excuses, to blame the hectic life of an X-Men, to hide behind Magneto and the Phalanx and every other thing that happened, every danger that fell on them. But the truth is that he wasn’t in the right mind to care for his romantic life, he was just tired of everything and he barely held himself together as an X-Men.
He still feels bad. But he can't change his past.
They met a couple of times. She was closed off and annoyed they happened in the same place. She has every right to clam up and get rude to him. He was an asshole, he deserved to be treated as one. He will never fault Charlotte for not forgiving him.
He wonders how Timmy is doing. He wished he could help him, be the silent patron that tends to his needs, to pay for his tuition. But Charlotte would never allow him. When he vanished, he vanished on Timmy too after all.
He had been tempted, though. To fly to the block where she lives, find a good spot on a near roof and wait for Timmy to walk on the street below, to make sure he’s fine and he still has that bright smile on his face. But he doesn’t feel like handling that rejection, the risk of Timmy raising his head and see the man perched like a hawk to check on him. He likes to think back to Timmy as the boy he left the last time he opened his wings and took flight from Charlotte’s window.
Besides, Charlotte would come to have his ass, should he show up to Timmy out of the blue.
He learned from that mistake though: he broke up with Betsy as soon as he understood their relationship was stagnating, before they would eventually drift apart.
*
4. Paige Guthrie, the mistake
Paige is... Well. Let's say he was hurting and confused. Very very confused.
He's not one to repudiate the past, for everything that happened to him - good or bad - is what made him the man he is. For all the things he would erase, there are worse things than a wrong relationship that was started on the wrong premises. They fell for each other and so be it. Although, nowadays, he can't understand how that even happened. They really were too much different. In any other moment of his life it would've never happened. But he was mourning Betsy, in a time when death was forever. And Paige was there, reaching out, willing to help him and ready to stomp her feet on the ground and force-pull him out of the self-pity mood he was wallowing in.
And Paige too, she was in no good place. Rebounding off her failed romance with Starsmore, perhaps she thought that with someone older than her things would be different, that she wouldn’t be forced to be with someone who kept self-sabotaging his love life. She took a look at him and thought he was different, that the only Original who was public and proud about his mutation would be the farthest from a Gen-X whose mutation took out half of his face and chest.
Not to say they didn’t have a good time, while it lasted. But, why. He didn’t act like himself, or perhaps not like the himself he had been since that moment. In a way, with Paige he was back to be the first Warren, the teenager - the Warren before the tragedies that forever marred his sunny nature. The Warren of the First Class - before Candy, before his uncle, before everything. He acted immature, he didn’t act like the responsible adult one would expect from someone who is a founder of the X-Men and a businessman who sits on a multi-bilionaire fortune, runs a Fortune 100 company and is stockholder in too many places for him to even remember.
Only when he was at his lowest, memory-less and naive, he had stopped as low. Sex in the sky right above Lucinda Guthrie’s nose? What the hell was he thinking? This is something sixteen-years-old Warren would do, what the pre-mutant socialite would do - not [twenty/third-something-I-hate-you-timescale] Worthington!
He got much flack from Bobby because of this, but even someone who knew him as much as Bobby admitted he was different with Paige, younger - an attitude that had been stripped out of him by Apocalypse. Perhaps this is why nobody stepped in, why none of his oldest friends planned an intervention to save him from embarrassing himself. Why, other than Bobby’s jabs, he was left alone.
Paige did make him feel younger and carefree, in a way that he had forgotten. And for that, he should be grateful to her.
But he was no more a teenager, and he should’ve been more mature than that. More mature than giving in. He should’ve stuck to his role of First Class and team leader to Paige’s Generation X, two different generations, too much age difference.
With hindsight, he should’ve listened to Stacy X. He owes Miranda an apology: she said those things because she wanted to get into his pants, sure - still, she was right.
All in all, it was a phase that didn't last much and he won't talk about it.
He might be embarrassed about how he acted, but Paige doesn’t deserve ill feelings. She was there when he unknowingly needed someone like her, after all, and never shied away. Fought for what she wanted, when he was playing hard to catch and clinging to what he felt was ethically right to do (which was not make a move on Paige) - and he must give it to her, the girl is a warrior.
When they eventually drifted apart, they did so in good ways. There’s no avoided glances and stunned silences if they are assigned to the same team, there is the right amount of closeness and camaraderie one would expect from fellow X-Men. They don’t greet each other with kisses nor they hug after a tragedy, but he is a private person and he isn’t big on gestures - but, should she need a hug, he wouldn’t shy away, and she would do the same for him.
He couldn’t ask no more, for a relationship that had been an error from his part.
*
5. Elizabeth Braddock, the other half
Elizabeth is and will always be his soulmate. He might feel silly to say it aloud, and he likely will never admit it even in the privacy of his mind, but deep inside he knows it.
Both born privileged, both proud of their mutation, both magazine material, both striking handsome. If someone had to come up with a more perfect pair, they couldn’t draw one better assorted than them. White or blue, Asian or English, it doesn’t matter. They would be the pet of gossip, guest to the best glamorous events, they could be the king and queen of New York if only they wanted.
If only they weren’t mutants, actually. Or, at least, if their affiliation to the X-Men and mutants weren’t public - or if people were enamored with mutants as they are with the Avengers and the Fantastic Four or anyone else on the side of angels who has superpowers and isn’t named Spider-Man.
Both manipulated by others.
But Betsy has always been the strongest of the two. Where he reacted to what Apocalypse did with gloom, by turning depressed and introverted, by wallowing in self-pity or venting his rage on himself, she reacted to each manipulation by getting more determined and hard, by not letting the pain drag her down, by focusing that rage in her moves, using it to strengthen her tk knife. For months, after he returned into the X-Factor fold, he fought his metal wings, he rejected their power, he avoided mirrors for the fear of meeting his own blue reflection, he pretended that Warren Worthington was no more, dead like his wings. She, after regaining control of her mind and back to the X-Men, immediately made use of her acquired ninja abilities and adapted her mutant powers to efficiently use them in conjunction with the new fighting skills, turning an already deadly body into an even more deadly warrior. And she accepted the differences in her body, she focused on what good it came with, she didn’t clung to what she lost. Unlike him, who had to break one heart, watch her dead girlfriend die again between his arms and be kicked in the face by his best friend, before understanding that he had to reclaim his whole life and accept that it didn’t matter the hue of his skin or the metal protruding out of his shoulders where feathers once had been - that Warren Worthington III, the High Flying Angel, was still down there, even if he now soared on metal wings.
Together they faced everything. They endured and survived, they died and resurrected. Always bouncing back to each other. As if some uncanny force bound them together.
They hurt each other, every time. Unwilling. Forced by the events, forced by others. They aren't good for each other, because they indulge and worsen each other's addictions. They're good for each other, because they are the other’s rock.
Forces like death, time, mystical powers and Apocalypse didn’t manage to keep them apart; stress, different attitudes, different goals and stagnation did.
Betsy isn’t a woman to settle down. She constantly needs excitement, she needs to live life at its fullest. She craves for the adrenaline that fights pump in her vein, she needs to always be at the center of the field. Ninja or mutant, she doesn’t bode well with monotony.
He’d sign any contract that granted him a quiet life in which to enjoy his money, soar the sky and retire in the night to sleep near the woman he loves. He always returns to the X-Men, no matter how many times he promises himself that this is the last time, that this is the final retirement. But she can’t stay away from adventure - if the X-Men disbanded and mutants suddenly had no more enemies, she would find other ways, other teams, other allies and foes. She would hop literally to other worlds and times. Not even death managed to force her to stay put and rest. Not even Krakoa managed to make her stop and rest.
And then Archangel, the dark shadow he carries within himself came. He, the one who rejects and fights Betsy, the only one who stands between them. The reason why she twice returned to him, the reason why she leaves everything to fight his own battle, to protect the Angel from the Archangel in Archangel’s never-ending battle for supremacy over the man Warren Worthingon. And eventually he won. He didn’t manage to break them apart the first time, he drew them closer. He didn’t manage to break them apart the second time, when Betsy lied with the enemy in order to get to him. He didn’t manage to break them apart the third time, when it were His wings that saved her from being consumed by the darkness of the Shadow King. But He got his revenge, Archangel won the very moment Warren found a way to get rid of Him. And Betsy had to call forth Archangel to save Angel from himself - and the whole world with him.
They have drifted apart now. They didn’t break up, not like other people do. One day they were besotted with each other, happier than ever, an English woman finally back in her own original body and a smitten bird eager to get to know a woman finally complete. The next Nate Grey came and turned their own little world upside down. And then, Krakoa.
As he said, he eventually bounces back to the X-Men and she can’t stay away from the field. If only they’d staid in Colorado, if they haven’t returned to the fold... would their history be different, then? Would they be part of the few that Nate left behind, to pick up the pieces in a world where suddenly all mutants where considered dead and gone? Who knows.
But they didn’t. They were on the front line. He switched sides. She used her tk knife to force him back to her. He shouted to her, he reluctantly helped the X-Men. And then. Then, they both got sucked in that twisted utopia, and they never recovered from that.
And now they’re strangers. They barely exchange glances when they’re in the same place, they barely nod each other in greeting before parting ways again, each headed to their own way. They never stop and talk to each other - there's never the chance. They don't know how. Too much was done to them, too many changes. It’s like a wall has been build between them while they were too busy to notice, and they both don’t seem interested in tearing it down.
Or perhaps it’s just that they don’t know. Or perhaps they are scared to see what awaits on the other side.
It’s like a lifetime has passed by since the last time they were close, and now they’ve become two different people - gone are the X-Woman who fought with tk weapons and the X-Man who patrolled the skies. He traded his uniform for high-fashion suits, and she traded her trademark pinks for the Union Jack colors. He put aside his mutant abilities to use what is in his blood instead, she stripped of her very mutant name to build herself another identity. He left the aerial fights for the equally brutal economic battlefields, she this Earth for the Omniverse.
They have become strangers now - the CXO and the Captain Britain, the man with the duty to keep X-Corp floating and Monet in check, and the woman in charge with the security of Otherworld saddled with the overbearing presence of the less fashionable, more annoying lost sister of Emma Frost.
And now Betsy apparently found love again with someone else. Warren is void and tired. He feels like he failed yet another woman. That it just isn’t it in him to keep a woman. That he’s doomed to eventually be alone, that anyone he falls for eventually will leave him for greener pastures.
He’s bitter. But is also happy for her. He’s not cruel, he’s not heartless. He’s not that kind of asshole who wishes ill or failure to the woman who had once been his out of spite.
Nor he is annoyed that his former girlfriend now swings for the other spectrum. They all have met and fallen for aliens, gods or cosmic forces - what’s gender, compared to this?
Of all the people he knows, Betsy is the one who deserves peace and happiness the most. After all she endured, she’s entitled to. So, if she’s found the right person to find peace with, then so be it. If Rachel is the person who can bring out the good in Betsy, or even just give her a slice of happy married life, then so be it. He knows Rachel - she’s not one he would call friend, they don’t share a close bond and is little more than a fellow X-Men to him, but he knows her enough to know she’s good inside. Perhaps a bit troubled, a dark past that at time resurfaces - but who, between them X-Men, can call himself truly innocent and clean?
Rachel is strong and stands for what she considers right. She’s not scared to take sides, even against her own friends - he would know, she was one of the few who sided with them time-displaced five, when everyone (Betsy included) were hunting them, unwilling to listen to what they had to say. Rachel will be a good partner for Betsy. With Rachel, Betsy won’t fall in her old habits. There won’t be an Archangel lusting for blood who will drag her back into black-ops missions and killing sprees.
It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t feel a pang of pain whenever she sees records of them together, fighting or making a guest apparition to some gala. That he doesn’t feel the need to avoid his eyes whenever they show up together in Krakoa and his keen sight spots a flaming head or familiar purple hair in the crowd. Eagle eyes are both a blessing and a curse, at times.
He remembers himself that the past must stay in the past, that it’s time to look at the future ahead. That he moved on from Candy, and he can move on from Betsy as well.
But within, he feels that they aren't done. That somehow they’ll eventually fall back in their old paths. As if they were somehow doomed, struck in a loop they can’t escape, no matter how hard they run or fly.
They are connected and forever be. That is nothing neither Archangel, nor Otherworld, can change.
*
+1. Laura Kinney, once forgotten
Laura is what was never meant to be. If Hank hadn’t plucked their younger selves from their time to throw them in a dark future, nothing with Laura would’ve happened.
Laura has always been a child to his eyes. A child born out of pain, created to be nothing but a killing machine. Warren had known her as such, the feral female, younger counterpart to Logan - silent and cold, troubled and obedient. A reliable partner, for a black-ops squad made of killing machines. Wrong place for her, right for everyone else involved.
They never clicked but they didn’t disagree either. Both too reserved, too stuck in their own killing machine mind, both prisoners to their own darkness. They worked well together, they protected each other’s back, they even supported each other. Yet, they barely exchanged few words. No matter that she lived in his house, hanged around in his kitchen - or saved his life on the field.
He didn’t spare a thought to her, when they reshuffled the team and Logan put his foot down on her being out of the team - they lost a killing machine, but they were getting Betsy out of the exchange, and that was all that mattered at the time. And then everything went to hell.
To this day, he can’t explain how they fell together.
He doesn’t know what Laura saw in him. How Laura could see the teenager Warren and separate him from the adult Archangel of Death Laura had worked with. Perhaps she understood that they were as different as they could come, that the teenager Angel had nothing in common with that Warren Worthington but the genetic makeup. Perhaps he had changed in the meantime and he hadn’t known.
She was one of the few young mutants they hanged out with in their future. He’s always been a socialite, back then - always a flirt. He was young and still foolish. Perhaps he unconsciously searched for someone different from him to ground him. Perhaps for once he wanted to help a broken person. Or perhaps it was the meeting the first girl to not fall for his charms - Jean Grey all over again.
They were sun and moon, carefree and troubled, light and dark.
Yet, for some time it worked. Against all odds Laura returned his feeble feelings and they spent quality time together, like only a pair of teens involved with the X-Men can. He managed to make her smile. And he liked it. With him, she was less gloomy, at times he could see her eyes shine with some of the lightheartedness she was robbed her whole life. Twice he even managed to stole her a laugh. She compensated for his hot-headedness and his impulsivity.
But then he ruined it all. In his desperate attempts to escape his fixed destiny, he put a wedge between them. But how could she understand? To know that you have your fate presented to you, to see whom you will become, the horrors... Nobody ever had the galls to look him in the eye and explain how he ended up to be a Warren who believed himself an angel. Why he would gain metallic wings. Why he would drastically change in body and mind. Why he would loose himself. Everybody glossed over, everybody avoided his questions. He was left with what the cold files told him, and his mind to fill the gaps.
He didn't share his fears with her, and Laura didn't reach out. To be fair, she didn't know how to. And he didn't give her any chance. His choice to keep the Black Vortex modifications was the start of the ending.
And then secrets built up. With hindsight she could've helped him, had she trusted in her. She had known the Warren who had been (the Warren he was doomed to become), and she knew too well the burdens of fury and a drive to commit violence. But he didn't trust her. And she was right to give up on them.
They drifted apart. And in such a sour way that, by the time them five were about to return to the past, he and Laura didn't even exchange a word - not a farewell, not a goodbye.
But theirs had always been a hopeless thing, something with an already written expiration date. A relationship he forgot, until the block on his memories fell.
He took the time to thank her for putting up with his younger self. For not telling him what she knew about his future. He asked her permission for a hug. Not as paternal figure, not as a brother, but not a distant lover either. He recalls with melancholic affection that brief time in which they were happy, when he felt that with Laura he could fix all the wrongs in the world - when he got a respite from the X-Men and returned to be the Avenging Angel, not alone but standing alongside a Wolverine.
Laura has Logan. But he promised he would be there for her if she ever needed help. As a friend. As a fellow X-Men who every day has to fight the darkness within.
Notes
Jean
I see the potential for this pair in early Silver Age X-Men and later X-Factor, and I could see a (better) evolution of Scott's character in which he overcomes Jean's death, and - even if he's understandably conflicted with Jean's return - eventually stays with Maddie because he might've fallen for Maddie out of her likeness with Jean, but he's come to genuinely love her; the pain of seeing her die has forced him to mature and their love belongs to the past, as the "high-school" romances. In this case, Jean and Warren get closer. But this would mean Warren breaking up with Candy for Jean, which... no.
It's disappointing that in the only What If...? in which we see Jean picking Warren during the First Class era, everything is portrayed as a bad fanfiction, with Scott leaving the X-Men and becoming evil.
Candy
Candy is... Candy. My endgame is Warren/Betsy, but Candy is almost there. Wherever Warren goes, Candy goes to (I have two Warren/Betsy AUs - a medieval fantasy and an 1800s historical - and Candy gets her part in Warren’s life in both, shaping him and leaving a hole that Betsy has to struggle to fill. In the fantasy Candy is the reason why Warren doesn’t give Betsy a chance and rebuffs Betsy’s every attempt at building a bridge between them).
If Marvel really wants to stick to Betsy/Rachel even after Howard leaves and Betsy ends up in other hands, then my dream would be to have Candy return - she’s not a mutant, but a retcon is behind the corner, should an author want to head that route (as proven with Moira McTaggart), and it’s not that in Marvel universe non-powered people never return from dead anyway.
Charlotte
I liked them. But they really were too different to work on the long run. When X-Factor folded back into X-Men, authors had Warren act like a dick toward Charlotte. I think Warren would be the guy who went and broke up, instead of ghosting a girl. But he was in a bad shape, so it works. I personally know how it feels to let things drift and avoid confrontation and then wake up one day and realize too much time has passed and the train has left and you can’t get back and fix things (or, really, just close them as they should). Still, a dick. I would’ve loved it any authors hinted that Warren paid a scholarship, founded his medical cures or even invited Timmy to fly on mechanics wings in that X-Men Unlimited story.
I was one of those who hoped the Archangel-wannabe Cherub of Children of the Atom was Timmy. Sadly, I was disappointed. Part of me is tempted to ignore that the guy is actually called Gabe and has nothing to do with Timmy.
Paige
I think what I feel about her is heavily reflected in her chapter.
I’m not a rabid hater (the “sex in the air right above momma Guthrie’s head” scene notwithstanding) but I feel we could remove that portion of his romantic life from Warren’s history and not miss/loose anything (although this pairing deprived us of more flirting and panel presence of Stacy X who was unceremoniously scraped off). They were attracted to each other out of the blue (especially him; Paige had every reason to be JUST physically attracted but he? They probably never shared a panel before since Gen X debuted), then together one moment, and the next they had fallen out and their relationship never be mentioned or hinted at again. For the best, I think. It was so poorly executed that it’s hard to salvage anything of that ship. I tried my best.
Betsy
As a hard Warren/Betsy shipper, it’s very difficult for me to accept Betsy/Rachel. How it came to be, and especially with how the Betsy/Warren remains unresolved (the confrontation with alternate!Warren is too little and too ambiguous to satisfy anyone who ever cared for the ship) doesn’t help, but it’s how it’s portrayed (in every issue they have to be shown holding hands, kiss, exchange love confessions or flirt) that irks me. I can’t speak for other hetero ships, but Betsy/Warren didn’t need this amount of “in the face” to work - and Wildstorm/DC Apollo/Midnighter neither. It’s as if the author doesn’t trust her writing and/or has to make sure the readers don’t forget that “these two queer women are a couple” - or wants to be sure the readers don’t have any way to ignore their queer status.
It’s not that I have something intrinsic against Betsy and Rachel per se, but I just know that - now that she’s been paired with a woman - Betsy will be forever stuck on the “lesbian” side of the mutants. No matter that she has been straight for most of her comic tenure (with the bi-ness ambiguous at best with her thing with Phatomex/Cluster). I am one for bi!Betsy, actually. But the majority of Rachel/Betsy fans (or at least the more vocal, the ones who seek queer representation in any form no matter the characters involved and if their previous canon history allows for this, some who staid with Howard only because of the promise of the queer couple, some who barely knew who Betsy was or never liked the character and jumped on for the pair only, some who gush on butch!Rachel despite Rachel never being buff - or tall like English!amazon!Betsy either) seem at times to forget that Betsy isn’t lesbian but bisex: if in the future an author decided to stray from this narrative, the backlash would be massive. Marvel wouldn’t want to the accused of queer erasure because Betsy left her (butch) Askani for a man. That’s why I fear Howard put a tombstone on Warren/Betsy. Nowadays, there’s no turning back once a character is portrayed as queer, bi-erasure is still strong.
Tiny Howard, by making Rachel jealous of Saturnyne but not of Peter or any other man Betsy has to do with (including recently Tony Stark, who is a womanizer and the kind of man Betsy used to dig), doesn’t help. Objectively, one could think Rachel is only jealous of women because it’s her first lesbian relationship and she’s insecure. But the message the reader gets is that Rachel is only jealous of women because she doesn’t perceive men as a “threat” - as in, Betsy doesn’t care for men (like Warren was jealous of Betsy close to Neal Sharra but not of any X-Women Betsy hang out with).
I have this feeling that Howard did this move to establish Betsy as different from Kwannon - she was given a character that was mostly blank, since everything we had come to know of Betsy was given to Kwannon (name, butterfly, powers, looks, attitude, roles within the X-Men - Kwannon got everything in the divorce!), and in hindsight the choice to make alternate!Warren married and divorced from Kwannon further strengthen this (Warren, and Neal and all the men she flirted, fucked or kissed, are Kwannon’s Betsy - Betsy’s Betsy is Rachel).
At this point I resigned to the fact that Betsy will never return with Warren. But accept the reality doesn’t make it easier to swallow it.
All in all, I tried to respect the new pair nonetheless and paint Warren as an understanding, decent man who still loves dearly Betsy and knows he has to let her go (she’s already gone - she has to let his feelings for her go, that’s what I mean).
Laura
I’m in the minority that didn’t dislike Warren/Laura. I maintain that they had potential but it was a)poorly executed and b)at some point the authors weren’t interested and gave up.
As with everything from the time-displaced!O5, canon never referenced to them again. I like to think Laura has put her thing with Warren in the list of fallen relationships of her life, but has understood that they were never meant to be in the first place and, with time, learned to appreciate the small goods things she got from that time.
Warren, on the other hand, might be conflicted. He got to know Laura as an adult but then had a romance with her as a teen. But he might be conflicted on everything that happened during that time - the infodump of memories, once Jean’s block fell, must have been insane and, of all, the ones of his thing with Laura were far from the worst.