Rantings: Resolution
More attempts at spring cleaning... a little cohesion in my scribble-on-an-available-scrap-of-paper journal. All I can say for this, I guess, is that the more things change, the more difficult it becomes to accept it.
Hmm... reading this over. I wonder what happened: Resolution
There comes a time when enough has to be enough...
I'm going to try to stay calm long enough to get myself into therapy... maybe even if I can find an English-speaking therapist here. I can't do this on my own, but it feels that no matter who I talk to (here in Japan) they don't understand that why I feel like this and they just make me feel worse for having these feelings in the first place. "Everyone in life has problems; you're no different", and other comments of the same kind. It's never been bad like this before. I've usually been able to deal and to bounce back, but the things I've been thinking lately have driven me to a new place that I've never been before. All the other things that used to be able to pull me back from the edge -- family, friends, dance, etc. -- just don't do it anymore. So, I'm all out of options and so I'm going to seek counseling. Because, I don't like feeling this way so much of the time. Every now and again, okay, but to be constantly feeling like this for weeks and months at a time... something isn't right.
So much for that notion. The days go by and nothing ever changes... I don't think I'll ever let them.
Hmm... reading this over. I wonder what happened: Resolution
There comes a time when enough has to be enough...
I'm going to try to stay calm long enough to get myself into therapy... maybe even if I can find an English-speaking therapist here. I can't do this on my own, but it feels that no matter who I talk to (here in Japan) they don't understand that why I feel like this and they just make me feel worse for having these feelings in the first place. "Everyone in life has problems; you're no different", and other comments of the same kind. It's never been bad like this before. I've usually been able to deal and to bounce back, but the things I've been thinking lately have driven me to a new place that I've never been before. All the other things that used to be able to pull me back from the edge -- family, friends, dance, etc. -- just don't do it anymore. So, I'm all out of options and so I'm going to seek counseling. Because, I don't like feeling this way so much of the time. Every now and again, okay, but to be constantly feeling like this for weeks and months at a time... something isn't right.
So much for that notion. The days go by and nothing ever changes... I don't think I'll ever let them.