Alexander minific #5

[pseudy]

Title: Alone (1/2)
Author: pseudonihilist
Fandom: Alexander the Great
Pairing: Alexander/Hephaistion, Alexander/Bagoas implied
Rating: PG
Summary: After Alexander forces Hephaistion to renounce his quarrel with Eumenes on pain of death, they meet in Hephaistion’s tent to discuss things.
A/N: Based on Mary Renault’s account of events in her excellent novel, The

Comments

[furius]

Sometimes, I wish Hephaistion and Alexander are happier. All that sacrifice and tragedy. It hurts, but everything's more beautiful that way, too. It's agonising irony.

It's a brilliant fic and fits with Renault verse startling well. It certainly explains the one line I always disliked Alexander for uttering.

I side with Hephaistion. Alexander's destroying everything for his ambition it seems. I feel like thwacking him, except Hephaistion would never allow it of course.

Let him kill me in this rage, and then he may understand half the passion with which I have always touched him.

You're absolutely brilliant.

[pseudonihilist]

it's an irony i totally sympathise with. sometimes i wonder if it's rather sadistic of me to derive such satisfaction, painful though it is, from their angst.

i side with Hephaistion too; i mean, alexander does little things for hephaistion in the book, but they seem almost like rewards, token gestures, until, of course, hephaistion dies, and that's one of the reasons i started writing fanfic, is to explicate, at least for myself, that alexander loves hephaistion just as much, if not more, than he is loved himself.

thank you so much for reading, and your incredibly kind words! i am so glad you liked this.

[arysteia]

Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!

*dances*

*twirls*

I love it!

And yet it's so different from the way I wrote this scene! Both times! That's one of the things I love most about fanfic, I think, the way you can just break it all down and explore every little facet of the scene, and how things worked out, or might have. Or might not have. If I didn't know how it all ends, you might have me seriously worried at this point...

*cries*

*just a little*

[pseudonihilist]

gah, lj is being a total dick, so i apologise if you get this twice.

I've no doubt your interpretation is so different, and that's why fanfic is such a great idea - we can read the things we love many, many times and get something new out of it. i can't wait to read your take. thanks for the feedback :)

[pink_pants]

wow. you kill me, you really do. this is getting to the heart of it all without pulling some contrivance out of it to make it all "better." that's one of the things i most hate: a desire to whitewash the badness/mistakes/monster-side out of relationships/personality. We're not looking at a perfect picture of either of them; Hephaistion is a gaping maw of need, Alexander is unable to understand how to relate to others as an equal - ultimately he's 'just a man', right? their relationship here is full of that really uneven power dynamic which is always so deliciously exciting. i think they are both uncomfortable/unsure with when and how to wield the power they both have over the other. and that leads to this whole kerfuffle, and his lack of surety when going to Hephaisition is really telling, since he's barely ever presented that way in the Renault-verse

[pseudonihilist]

wow. you understand these characters so completely, so comprehensively - your reading of renault so intuitive and insightful - everytime i read feedback from you you show me something new about renault's characters, the situations in which they find themselves, and just relationships in general, of any kind, that it's really like reading a very good fanfic. i mean, i find this comment so incredibly educational - and maybe it's no wonder i feel so much trepidation in posting, because if someone like you is interested in this pairing, someone so intelligent and insightful, who's thought about these characters - if not very MUCH, then certainly very WELL, it makes it all the more difficult to feel like i could possibly be writing something that would appeal

[pink_pants]

well, indeedy, you made my day with this story, your comments, not to mention having an actual story dedicated to me which is shocking and so cool, and makes me get all haughty and think i'm neato etc. etc!!!

i love this stuff so much. so much! and i'm glad you're willing to play in the sandbox with me a little.

KISSYFACE.

Now, being a depressive myself i know the feeling of contemplating the ceiling or the navel too often, for too long. Treat yerself good, realnihilist, treat yourself to a rereading of the Hoot/Tood series from start to finish, all kabillion chapters of it. Or, heck, a sour pickle might make you feel better, as it just did for me... snap crunch yum. remember, it's hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world. !!!

::sings you dolly parton songs::

[_penthesileia_]

Great characterization, it fits in well with Renault. The complexity of Alexander and Heph's relationship is interesting; their roles as eromenos/erastes and king/subject can so easily come into conflict despite their long friendship, something too often ignored by fic writers.

I expecially love the parting scene, Hephaestion admitting that this time he cannot share Alexander. Can't wait for the next part :)

[pseudonihilist]

I'm so glad you felt it fitted well :) the different roles Alexander and Hephaistion play with each other has always been one of the things that really fascinated me and drew me to loving their relationship so much - more complex, in my humble, HUMBLE opinion, than his relationship with bagoas, as lovely as that is - so i'm very happy that some of those issues stood out for you here.

thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment! :)

...

[undertree33]

Wow. I'm a great fan of Mary Renault, and the Persian Boy, which turned me around on my stance on homosexuality.

But beyond that, this story in itself is...filling, for the want of a better word. It fills the heart, satisfies in that I've just been given a glimpse into the life of one of the greatest men who lived, and his closest companion. You bring them to life.

Wow.

Re: ...

[pseudonihilist]

Wow! it's always fascinating to hear about authors who change people's perspectives. if you don't mind telling, may i ask how she or her book did it?

and thank you so much for your kind words. Few comments are more cherished than ones like yours - these characters are so real to me, thanks to Renault, and if i could even echo that, very faintly, in these small fics, than i am very, very happy.

thanks so much for reading and commenting!