To Shape the Future
Recently I've found myself twisted between the realization that life can be anything we make it to be and the hard-driven fact that plans inevitably succumb to change. I have found vasting excitement regarding my personal future goals being within reach and the experience of fantasies coming to life- and despite the reality that I'm only at the beginning of a long road of potential achievement, it's invigorating to know that my wildest dreams are within reach.
In this latter part of the month I've been sitting around this Houston Hilton, my mind has merrily begin to wander off into the possibility of a future so farfetched and unconventional that I've begun to sculptmore vivid dreams than are even attainable in my eyes. The lust for freedom and of exploration compel me to fantasize as I do, but it is indeed those dreams that have the most meaning that inspire us at our core, making our dreamscapes into reality.
Say I complete 2 1/2 or 3 years' work in those hostile deserts and actually accomplish the financial goals I aspire to; what then? The possibilities are endless and the opportunities are bountiful!
I primarily aim to begin extensive work in the production of my beloved drum & bass, as this is what I would find the deepest fulfillment doing. With the kind of financial support I could provide myself after completing my work and financial objective overseas, the time to pursue said work, the flexibility of seeking inspiration abroad (which is where I usually find it), and the ultimate kicker, the possibility of living and producing my work from OUTSIDE the U.S. come into plausible sight.
Now imagine that the most amazing dreamscape in my head comes to life; say I could actually reside in a foreign country, wherever it may be, and generate the income I need to get by solely from the labor of love that comes out of my beat machine. The mere thought of a dream like that coming true and being of my own making thrills me to the core! Foreign languages and exotic culture could be the daily experiences of my life renewed, if I am but willing to do what it takes to shape those dreams and bring them to light. Perhaps I'm adventurous to a fault, but it is simply my nature to yearn for new experiences and I love it!
Tonight, in an attempt to channel my recent boredom into a productive effort, I laid out a daily schedule involving all productive and self-improving implementations. It was in fact rather gratifying to find such an autonomous intent within myself to become more organized and responsible without having had it suggested to me or being coerced into it. Quite empowering.
I'm reminded of yet another movie reference, one that regards legos as a maetaphor for creating whatever we want out of our lives; we are seriously in power to build our existences into our own fulfillment kingdoms, and the only people in our way are ourselves.
I swear some sort of gateway has recently been opened, a momentum of sorts, showing me the most fantastic life I could imagine in my own hands. I used to be scared of, no ruled by, the potential for failure. It is probably the counter-productive and horrific hurdle in seeking exactly what we want in life, lest it ONLY controls us when we let it. That time is, however, over for me. I'm deciding in this moment, vowing to myself to never be held back by the fears that used to so bind me. It has always been a choice, sometimes it's just easier not to act and to not potentially fail, but that is in itself, failure.
I would like to acknowledge in this realization, the ideal of our proverbial 'fairy tale ending' as I no longer believe it to be confined to fantasy. I no longer believe that if something is too good to be true it isn't. It is what it is. We cannot shape the course of anything outside of ourselves; the world WILL contain negativity, it will harvest resentment and seek retribution. What we can change is our individual attitudes and perceptions, and in this truth we begin to see the path to the lives we desire appear through the fog.
What I love is exploration and Drum n Bass. A solid career was seldom founded out of pursuing either of these things, but the quality of life for someone that is blindly following a dream is pure, it is gentle; it's momentum is simply undeniable. I don't have to become a Dieselboy to love the job, and I don't have to climb Mt. Everest to experience all of this beautiful world. What this opportunity is, and what this dream fueling it is, are purity, they're love, and they're passion in its most crystal-clear and innocent form. Life is only beautiful once we decide to see it as such. The rest, it's all downhill from there...
I, Shawn Crowell, commit to shape my future.
-peace-
In this latter part of the month I've been sitting around this Houston Hilton, my mind has merrily begin to wander off into the possibility of a future so farfetched and unconventional that I've begun to sculptmore vivid dreams than are even attainable in my eyes. The lust for freedom and of exploration compel me to fantasize as I do, but it is indeed those dreams that have the most meaning that inspire us at our core, making our dreamscapes into reality.
Say I complete 2 1/2 or 3 years' work in those hostile deserts and actually accomplish the financial goals I aspire to; what then? The possibilities are endless and the opportunities are bountiful!
I primarily aim to begin extensive work in the production of my beloved drum & bass, as this is what I would find the deepest fulfillment doing. With the kind of financial support I could provide myself after completing my work and financial objective overseas, the time to pursue said work, the flexibility of seeking inspiration abroad (which is where I usually find it), and the ultimate kicker, the possibility of living and producing my work from OUTSIDE the U.S. come into plausible sight.
Now imagine that the most amazing dreamscape in my head comes to life; say I could actually reside in a foreign country, wherever it may be, and generate the income I need to get by solely from the labor of love that comes out of my beat machine. The mere thought of a dream like that coming true and being of my own making thrills me to the core! Foreign languages and exotic culture could be the daily experiences of my life renewed, if I am but willing to do what it takes to shape those dreams and bring them to light. Perhaps I'm adventurous to a fault, but it is simply my nature to yearn for new experiences and I love it!
Tonight, in an attempt to channel my recent boredom into a productive effort, I laid out a daily schedule involving all productive and self-improving implementations. It was in fact rather gratifying to find such an autonomous intent within myself to become more organized and responsible without having had it suggested to me or being coerced into it. Quite empowering.
I'm reminded of yet another movie reference, one that regards legos as a maetaphor for creating whatever we want out of our lives; we are seriously in power to build our existences into our own fulfillment kingdoms, and the only people in our way are ourselves.
I swear some sort of gateway has recently been opened, a momentum of sorts, showing me the most fantastic life I could imagine in my own hands. I used to be scared of, no ruled by, the potential for failure. It is probably the counter-productive and horrific hurdle in seeking exactly what we want in life, lest it ONLY controls us when we let it. That time is, however, over for me. I'm deciding in this moment, vowing to myself to never be held back by the fears that used to so bind me. It has always been a choice, sometimes it's just easier not to act and to not potentially fail, but that is in itself, failure.
I would like to acknowledge in this realization, the ideal of our proverbial 'fairy tale ending' as I no longer believe it to be confined to fantasy. I no longer believe that if something is too good to be true it isn't. It is what it is. We cannot shape the course of anything outside of ourselves; the world WILL contain negativity, it will harvest resentment and seek retribution. What we can change is our individual attitudes and perceptions, and in this truth we begin to see the path to the lives we desire appear through the fog.
What I love is exploration and Drum n Bass. A solid career was seldom founded out of pursuing either of these things, but the quality of life for someone that is blindly following a dream is pure, it is gentle; it's momentum is simply undeniable. I don't have to become a Dieselboy to love the job, and I don't have to climb Mt. Everest to experience all of this beautiful world. What this opportunity is, and what this dream fueling it is, are purity, they're love, and they're passion in its most crystal-clear and innocent form. Life is only beautiful once we decide to see it as such. The rest, it's all downhill from there...
I, Shawn Crowell, commit to shape my future.
-peace-