mike called me today and broke up with me. not just a break from each other.. he has severed all ties. i am hurting really bad. i have no hope. is this what i deserve as payment for all the people i have hurt?? he is the first person i have truly loved for who he is. i will grieve him. i did everything i could to make things work and i think the ( Read more... )

i couldn't do anything to fix what was wrong between. MIKE DID. he fixed it completely. he came over not ten minutes after i posted my first entry and we had another talk. he asked what i wanted and i told him i wanted my flaws to not matter i wanted him to accept me for who iam and let that be enough. to love me anyways. he kissed me and hugged ( Read more... )

i had a wonderful day at the renfest. mike and i had a nice visit and a nice day until night time. then we sat down and had a really great talk. BUT in that talk i learned that there are some things about me that he just can't live with. He knew about these things when we first started dating and was okay with them then but now he isn't and he ( Read more... )

today was the most terrible day i have had in a long time. i am so beyond ready for the culling of the herd. sorry if that is insensitive. can't wait for the world to change.

just wanted to celebrate. Saturday i got my first draft of my book done. FINALLY. it is 235 pages and about 62500 words total. i am very happy with it and i am hoping some of you will proof read and give me feedback.

woohoo finally finished writing it now the hard part begins.

i had a nice weekend. lily behaved better than usual all weekend too ( Read more... )

my boss is driving me insane ( Read more... )

i have been very sick for two days now. unable to eat. can't even keep water down. went to doctor today. say i have a serious virus that acts like strep throat. also have blood and protein in my urine so they are checking my kidney functions. can't even keep down water. hope i get better soon. can't miss any more work. miserable ( Read more... )

my house is so full of negative energy rightnow and i don't know why. it feels like i am walking through mud. i expend tons of energy trying to cleanse it and only get the size of a shoebox area cleared out. i am drowning.

i am depressed.

i am confused.

i am lonely.

i wish my friends would email me their phone numbers so i could get ahold of

mike sent me an apology email. i am happy he cares enough to do that but my feelings are still hurt ( Read more... )