(Untitled)

[psychedreaming]

Just what I needed, another livejournal.

This is good, I've cluttered up my regular journal long enough with writing rants.

So, I'm supposed to post something I've written, eh..? Hmm...

'kay, here's the first chapter to Game Over, my nano novel. I would post explanations or disclaimers, but it really isn't needed in this case, is it. Plus, I'

Comments

[pagefever]

This is a great story! It's an exciting start, and I definitely want more, and it's very beautifully written as well. I hope that Nika ends up going on Ciro's journey with him. The characters all seem really well-established to me, even this early in the story, and I especially like the chief; he seems slightly old and tired, but very noble and wise, and benevolent, just the same.

Plus, I appreciate the different levels that the story's already got -- the action of Ciro, plus the narrative about the player.

This isn't usually the type of story I'd read, but I'll definitely follow it. This story reads like you've been writing a long time, and are really good at it.

--PF

[psychedreaming]

Hurray! Thanks for the feedback and encouragement. It is much appreciated. This is a new sort of writing for me, so...I've been a little uncertain. Not that I'm worried, it's just nano...anyway, that's what I tell myself.

You don't have any of your work posted yet, do you? I'm trying to remember, there were so many answers to that question last night.

I like the chief too, he's much more likable than Ciro. Or that is the goal, I am having a hard time making myself try to write a cynical/unkind person.

Thanks, I'll post more later! ^_^

[pagefever]

I don't think Ciro's unkind, exactly. Or if he is unkind, it seems to me that it has more to do with his circumstances. He's cynical, maybe, but of course he's going to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder. He doesn't know anything about his past, and has been depending on strangers to take care of him all his life so far. So I don't mind cutting him some slack for his being on the broody and introspective side. I'm hoping he'll "find himself" as the story progresses.

P.S.

[pagefever]

No, I don't have anything posted.

Am trying to concentrate on story-writing vs. livejournal posting.

Am not doing very well at it.

Also, I'm kind of afraid that I'd feel too pressured if I had it up. It's sort of genre fiction -- mostly it's contemporary but there's a definite queer element too -- and I'm just afraid that would bore a lot of people.

[abyscal]

I loved it :)
It was a big surprise when I found out that it's a game being played by some kid :) That was cool

I love the characters so far, and the chief is my favorite. He seems like a good guy. Ciro seems kinda synical and sarcastic, not an average game hero. And I like that :)

Oh and you used the word abysmal in your story, so that was cool. Cause it reminds me of my username :P abyscal. Hehe.

Well, overall it was great! I can't wait to read more.

[psychedreaming]

Heeheehee! You know what, when I wrote 'abysmal' I thought of you, lol!

Thanks for the comments, and for reading it! :) It is going to get a lot funner halfway through when I no longer have to try to bow to video game cliches, and when I have all the characters in the action. Wheee!

[abyscal]

Yeah that'll be cool ;)
I can't wait for the next installment :)

Oh yeah, and what is the game's title itself.
I mean the game that the boy is playing.

Oh and I love your village, the fishing village. Makes me think of suikoden's Duck Village for some reason. And then I think about Sami, my duckie, and how I gotta write some more stuff for TR :P