Overdue Entry
Hey
Well this has been long overdue.
Wrote this like forever ago... like way back in exam time. Itz behind a cut becasue, it a bit of a mammoth read, i had a lot of things to let out lol. Dont blame u if u can't b bummed to read it tho :) xxx
Ok where to start. Well I've had an interesting week. I had 4 exams Monday, one of which I've failed without a doubt. I've got 2 more on Friday, after i realised an hour ago that no today isn't Tuesday itz Wednesday, so whereas i thought i had 2 more days to revise i have one so that sucks a lil bit.
Well I had 2 maths exams in the morning then i was in segregation and then i had a history exam followed by a chemistry exam. Well I don't need ALL my maths modules so I just didn't care about the maths n i spent most of the weekend cramming for chemistry and history. if u can call my style of revision cramming. though that is an issue I’ll get onto later probably. I'd obviously done some revision but its not enough, n i was kinda hoping to read over the notes i had made like a week ago on the train so i had them clear in my mind.
Night before was like deathly hot times a million and i had such trouble sleeping. I reckon i totalled about 3 hours sleep. Which when i have to follow it with 6 hours of exams is just a disaster waiting to happen. I was in such a bad mood when i got up. I was snapping at my mum and slamming doors (at like 7 in the morning... not good) and i could just tell that it was all gonna go tits up. I just wanted to shut myself off from everything and read thru my notes and possible get in a bit of kip if time would let me on the train.
Walk into the station and there’s Conor. Dear sweet twelve year old conor asking me to buy him fags. AGAIN. No no no no no. how many times do I have to say it it is NOT going to happen!!!
Was about to launch into my million reasons why I would not buy him fags when I realised I was probably over reacting, so I just walked past him and sat down still trying to calm myself and hoping beyond hope to have a nice relaxing train journey.
But I got on the train and Jenny appeared and was panicing about history. Which i really didn't need coz she was the same last year and somehow she managed to pull off 4 A's with very little work from where i was standing. One of THOSE people. And she was panicing and saying "oh my god i don't know any history!" and frankly i just didn't need that at that moment coz - obviously - it was just not a good time or a good day or anything. And i was sitting with Gemma and Jenny sat down with us which was odd coz she... doesn't like Gemma like at all anymore. But never mind. So i kinda just said "look sorry but i have very little sympathy for you rite now ok. I'm having THE worst day and it can only get worse from here on in".
And i kept reaching for my revision notes. But we just kept talking about how badly revision was going and suddenly this happened :
Jenny : Itz like I've just had other stuff on my mind completely distracting me
Me : yeah I know what you mean.
Jenny : No.. i don’t know. Just... I've done something really stupid.
Me : Believe me can't be as stupid as me.
And then all possibility of me doing any last minute read through of my notes went completely out the window. And i could just see Gemma's ears prick up. In that way that they do.... like a cat when u open a tin of food.... or a meercat when he hears a predator. Just suddenly the conversation gets interesting and you can see her drinking it all in and logging it into her brain like.... i don’t know some electronic record of the conversation. A conversation shez not even part of. And I didn't want to have this conversation in front of Gemma.. yet somehow the flood gates were open and you can't stop the conversation there, it has to run itz course.
But I'm not a bitch (all the time) so I'm not going to post Jenny's secrets on the internet even when i know not many ppl will read this. So I’m not going to go into the conversation. needless to say, it brought up stuff that i did not want tin the foreground of my memory when i was walking into an exam, and left me feeling sufficiently emotionally drained that i just couldn't concentrate. And i still hadn't looked at my notes. And Gemma knows every word which is not good coz that means sure enough Rachel will know most of it by the time the ball is and thatz just a disaster waiting to happen because itz another reason for Rachel to look at me like i'm common as muck. great.
So went to the exam. Found Maggie, went to find out what we were doing with our bags while were in segregation - obviously couldn't put with every1 else’s or would see them when go and get them and they can tell us the answers. Gave in my phone to invidulator bloke and he gave me a card saying where to collect it from after my exams. Then went to find my seat.
So sitting waiting for the exam to start I'm feeling ...... not really in the mood to sit 2 maths papers to be honest. But i know i can't change the inevitable and i have to do the exams then and there. So i sit there, take a few deep breaths and focus on pushing everything to the back of my mind and retrieving all my maths knowledge from wherever it disappeared too. Unfortunately what with my lungs being rubbish at the moment "a few deep breaths" lead to a coughing fit. which was kinda not what I was hoping for.
So then the exam started.
FP2
Well. I opened the paper and was confronted not with the easy style question I am used to having to answer at the beginning of a maths paper, but by a question that made me think "what?". It wasn't that it was.... difficult.... it was just..... obscure. Like I've done all the practice papers for FP2 and I’d not come across a question like it. Yes it was part of the syllabus it was just asking you to do something that.... was a bit weird. It just threw me off really, not knowing how to do the first question. But i struggled through it and i go an answer.... maybe not the right answer but it got something down. I mean I'm kinda lucky, the way we've done the course is that we've done 4 modules last year, 4 in January and 5 this time. But i only need 12 modules in my maths A levels (6 for single and 6 for further) So i basically have a throw away module. Now I thought i'd done quite well in the other ones i'd done before then, S2 M2 and FP4. Yes they were hard and no i didn't answer all the questions, but I've already got some good marks behind me so i don't need these marks to be perfect to still get a good grade. I mean I thought that in all 3 of those that they had asked some pretty obscure questions, so i was worried that this would be the case with FP2. So i wasn't surprised as such that they did ask weird questions, it just seemed to throw me off that i was struggling.
So i kept going through the paper hoping that i'd find questions that were less.... weird. So I continued, and the next few questions were bearable. Until I hit question 5. Now there were 7 questions, and I'd already used 50mins doing questions 1 to 4 which are meant to be more easy than the others. So I was starting to get paranoid. There’s only been 1 maths exam where i didn't have time to attempt the last question and that was FP4. Luckily i was confident in my answers for the rest of it so i'm not too worried that i lost 7 marks just by not attempting the last 3 parts of the last question.
Anyway so I kept going but question 5 was proof by induction. But it was "prove by induction that f(n) is always divisible by 8.” And i can remember doing one where we had to work out that it was divisibly by 7 and i can remember not knowing how Mr Thomas proved it so as soon as i read the question my heart just.... hit rock bottom so to speak. It was a 10 mark question and i had no clue what to do. Obviously there is procedure with proof by induction, so i did the first stage (proving that f(1) is divisible by 8) which might have got me a couple of the marks just from plugging numbers into the expression, but the rest of the question kinda fell apart and i didn’t wanna waste anymore time. So i moved on.
Next question was Hyperbolics predictably. which was.... shaky to say the least. it was a show that and i couldn't get it out but i was really running low on time so i left it. I got the second show that out though (using the first one lol) and the second one was worth more marks so i think thatz more important.
The last question was just impossible. It was on roots of unity and De Moivre (cosx+isinx)n = (cosnx+isinnx) which i can generally do - i got 20 out of 20 on the review sheet when we learnt it and i'd done so much revision for it coz it was certain to come up. But the questions were so weird that I just did not see how to approach them. And it was a 5 part question, and i did the first part, and sum of the second part. but then i just ran out of time, not that it mattered... if i had had enough time i still wouldn’t have been able to do the questions..... but that left like 9 marks of questions at the end that I hadn't answered. So it was a bit of a disastrous paper really.... I counted and "unanswered questions" left me lacking about 17 marks... and thatz not even counting the mistakes i'm sure i must have made. So i'm just lucky that i have a throw away module really.... just meant that i had to do well on FP3.
FP3
So it was with great relief that i opened the final ever maths exam i have to take (assuming i don't do optional maths modules in my first year at Bristol) It was better than FP2 thank god. I only had 7 marks of questions left unanswered... and most of those were on limits, a topic i haven't really comprehended properly since day 1. Improper integrals are just not my cup of tea. It was weird that on a paper with so much of a bias of topics on differential equations (2 thirds of the module is differential equations, first and second order) there were only 2 out of 7 questions on differential equations.... 2 were on polar co-ordinates, one was on surface area of revolution and 2 were on limits. It was a bit weird coz I've gotten really good at differential equations coz i put in so much work on them and i know what i'm doing, but i just didn’t get a chance to show off or anything because they asked specific styles of questions. Was rather aggravating. But never mind...... at least it went better than FP2.... and i didn't run out of time at the end.
Anyway after the exams I had to wait in the exam hall with the rest of my clash group until they'd made every1 else leave and they could escort us to the segregation room (which just happened to be mine and Maggie’s old maths room) So we collected our bags and wandered across. And i was looking round the 10 or so other people and trying to recall which of them might have done chemistry as well as history (obviously every1 had done history because that was the reason we were in segregation) but Chemistry was that afternoon as well and i was getting slightly paranoid that I'd be the last person left in the exam hall after history coz every1 else would leave and i'd still have to do my chemistry. When we got to the room i kinda announced "so does anyone here do chemistry as well as history or is that just me? " To which most people were like "err looks like itz just you.” But Michael who is in my maths group and was sitting with me and maggie in segregation said "oh yeah i do chemistry". And i'm so surprised i didn't know this. Because hez in my maths group, and not only that, he sits next to Joe and joins in our conversations sometimes. So why i didn't know what subjects he did i don't know.
Anyway so i got chatting to him about how much it sucks and how we were going to be the only 2 left in the exam hall at the end itz going to be really empty and spooky and all the invidulators will be annoyed and wanting to go home hahaha. But then i had to get sum last minute revision done so i got my notes out and was reading thru them. This went on for like an hour. Then with 10 mins to go before we needed to go over to the exam hall they decided to take us to the loo. So we went off and we kinda thought that they’d make sure the loos were empty b4 letting us go seeing as we weren't meant to talk to anyone. But they didn't. And it was a male invidulator person so he couldn't exactly come in with us. So we went in and shock horror there's Laura standing by the hand dryers. Laura who is in my chemistry class and just did the history exam that morning.
Oh god what a dilemma that faced me with.
Here was the possibility of getting prepared for my exam. For knowing the question before i opened the paper. Ok so i wouldn't be able to look at my notes before it and i wouldn't be able to learn any extra facts before i went in. So it would be kinda pointless really, just knowing you couldn't answer the exam paper before you went in. not always the best idea. but say i did know some of the material, i could have an extra 5 mins to prepare a structure for my answer..... No. Not worth it. So i smiled at Laura and she said "so how did you find it" to which i said "haven't done it yet" and she smiled and said "well good luck then" and went out.
See what a good girl i am *halo*
So then we went over to the exam hall, which was a bit of a palava coz we couldn't look at the seating plan coz thatz where every1 congregates to have a last minute panic about the exams and god forbid we should talk to anyone - like i hadn't already had the chance. itz terrible the organisation of segregation... they didn't even remember to make sure no1 had phones until we'd been out of the exam for like 10mins. Anyone could have found out the questions by then.
So we went into the hall but of course none of us knew where we were seating. and the bloke at the front said “oh I think most of you are in the viewing gallery“. So not wanting to congregate in there me and Maggie decided to wander up to the viewing gallery with Michael and sum other ppl from clash group B and see if we were up there. But as we were walking out the door this lady appeared and said "oh no you can't go on your own your still in isolation“. Like it really mattered 2 minutes before the exam. What on earth could we find out by then? every1 was already in their places coz we'd been taken over at the last possible moment so it wasn't like there were loads of people having already done the history exam hanging around. But needless to say we had to wait for sum1 to escort us up there. Turns out me Maggie Michael and James Arthur Sharpe the 3rd were not actually up in the viewing gallery, though the rest of the group we were with were. shame. so we walked back down. Unfortunately we forgot our escort so we got an ear full when we arrived back at the main exams hall coz we were being "trouble makers" apparently. hahaha.
So eventually found where i was sitting. Near the back with no1 in front of me for 2 seats, no1 next to me for 2 columns and Michael behind me. How that for isolated. I guess was just coz we were the only 2 ppl doing history and then chemistry. Maggie was sitting in front of me but like 3 seats in front, and i guess it was only her and James Arthur Sharpe doing her history paper coz he was in front of her with no1 in front of him for a bit. Was very weird. I've always been surrounded by people in exams before. So exam paper was sitting there on desk looking all taunting and evil and i was in such a panic praying beyond belief that it was a popularity question and not a master weak dictator question. So then exam starts
History Unit 6
Opened the paper, looked at the contents page, found relevant page number - page 16. Scanned the page of Sources before i turn to look at question. Words that jump out at me from sources are "Four Year Plans" and Economics minister". Thought that runs through my head "Oh Shit its on the Economy" I don't know if you know about my issues with the economy. Lets just say... i have them and they are not good. Me and the economy just don’t get on.
Turn the page and read the question.
Itz not on the economy.
Its worse.
Part A is on Goering. As in specifically about one person in Nazi Germany who is NOT Hitler. Are they even allowed to do that? Obviously so.
Part B is “how far do you agree that Hitler was a "weak dictator".” My heart plummets into my casual but stylish pink shoes.
Read through the Sources, rack my brain for information about Goering. Ah yes i did that PowerPoint presentation on him about a month and a half ago... yes i remember... that could be useful. Get some dates, find some relevant source quotes. Answer was beginning to look bearable. Look at clock. - Oh dear I've run over time wise, should be starting reading Sources relevant for question B by now... Ok quick conclusion - lah de dah Goring not so significant coz was just loyal stooge probably not correct but is all i come up with.
And on to question B. And all that can go through my head is "your going to get a D your going to get a D." Itz not that i want a D. Just I've never got more than a D on one of these questions no matter how much work i've put into it. I don't mean to be pessimistic but i can just feel my brain beginning to scramble. But i keep writing. What was that that Dr Kavanagh said? The Hitler Myth... Working towards the Fuhrer. Yes get as many points as possible in. Right. Ok Loyalty. Loyalty. Why was Loyalty so important in the Hitler state... And is it possible that a state depending so much on loyalty cannot be considered stable and in which case Hitler is a weak dictator? But shez always said “Dates people and places” and none of my points have any dates people or places tied to them. How can I put in a date when I’m talking about the Hitler Myth which was more a general propaganda movement than specific policy? It was just terrible. I’ve never been able to get the relavent points into one of those answers.
I just know I've failed that exam. So Invidulator calls pens down and my script is collected.
People who had done the chemistry exam have already left coz it was half an hour shorter than the history, and the rest of the people sitting random exams have now finished so the exam hall is emptying around me. As Maggie left she turned and smiled "good luck" at me. which was sweet. So the chemistry paper is given out. And this is what I've been waiting for. I'd been so paranoid that i'd have no energy left at the end of the day and would nose dive this exam but I really feel the need to make this day at least a partial success. So it starts.
Unifying Concepts
Open the paper. Answer the questions, turn the page, answer the questions. I keep sitting there waiting to hit a question I can't answer, but with a bit of thought I realise that all the questions are bearable. Get to the end of question 5, slightly more challenging but can still handle it. Therez a blank page dividing the next question, which can only mean one thing - the next question is the synoptic question. Take a deep breath and turn the page. But itz not terrible. Yes i got a completely illogical answer for the last bit, but I had time to redo the question and my answer seemed a lot more logical. Overall I was very happy with this paper. I’m so glad. Times Up, I've answered all the questions so I'm not too stressed to see this paper being taken away from me. Finally an exam I'm proud of.
So they whisk it away, and I’m sitting there stunned. Itz over. That was THE Monday of my terrible exams and it’s over. Just like that. I don’t have to worry about it.
Of course now itz just me and Michael in the exam hall and itz 10 past 5. TEN PAST SODDING FIVE. Latest I’ve ever stayed at Hills Road. EVER. The invidulators are packing up and talking and I walk to the front to collect my bag and I don’t know what it is but somehow it doesn’t seem necessary to be silent in the exam hall when there are only 4 people in there and no1 is writing a paper.
Then I think, rite I have these maths books to give back, and the library is always open till like 6 on a college day.
So I wandered up to the library.
And guess what.
After dragging 6 Maths books into college - thatz FP2, FP3, P3, P4, P5 and 6 AND FP1, the library was CLOSED.
I couldn’t return my sodding books.
I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo angry.
I’d brought them all the way into college and I just had to take them home again.
Then had to go retrieve my phone from the exams office - in a bad mood and dragging 6 HEAVY MATHS BOOKS WITH ME -, and who should I bump into on the way there but my tutor Mr Wilkins who just happened to be grabbing sum stuff from his pigeon hole (lower 6th went back on Monday so tutors officially have work to do again lol.). And I really didn’t wanna do the whole examination post mortem with him so I made out I was about to miss my train and hurried off lol. Got my phone back wooooo and left college. At quarter to 6. Latest I’ve ever stayed at hills road in my life ever before.
Rest of day was pretty uneventful thankfully. Came home, complained at mother bout library being closed, told her exams had gone “fine fine completely fine” then fell asleep at like 8:30 coz was just the most knackering day I’ve ever had.
Ok that’ll do for now I suppose.
TTYL my lovelies xxx
Well this has been long overdue.
Wrote this like forever ago... like way back in exam time. Itz behind a cut becasue, it a bit of a mammoth read, i had a lot of things to let out lol. Dont blame u if u can't b bummed to read it tho :) xxx
Ok where to start. Well I've had an interesting week. I had 4 exams Monday, one of which I've failed without a doubt. I've got 2 more on Friday, after i realised an hour ago that no today isn't Tuesday itz Wednesday, so whereas i thought i had 2 more days to revise i have one so that sucks a lil bit.
Well I had 2 maths exams in the morning then i was in segregation and then i had a history exam followed by a chemistry exam. Well I don't need ALL my maths modules so I just didn't care about the maths n i spent most of the weekend cramming for chemistry and history. if u can call my style of revision cramming. though that is an issue I’ll get onto later probably. I'd obviously done some revision but its not enough, n i was kinda hoping to read over the notes i had made like a week ago on the train so i had them clear in my mind.
Night before was like deathly hot times a million and i had such trouble sleeping. I reckon i totalled about 3 hours sleep. Which when i have to follow it with 6 hours of exams is just a disaster waiting to happen. I was in such a bad mood when i got up. I was snapping at my mum and slamming doors (at like 7 in the morning... not good) and i could just tell that it was all gonna go tits up. I just wanted to shut myself off from everything and read thru my notes and possible get in a bit of kip if time would let me on the train.
Walk into the station and there’s Conor. Dear sweet twelve year old conor asking me to buy him fags. AGAIN. No no no no no. how many times do I have to say it it is NOT going to happen!!!
Was about to launch into my million reasons why I would not buy him fags when I realised I was probably over reacting, so I just walked past him and sat down still trying to calm myself and hoping beyond hope to have a nice relaxing train journey.
But I got on the train and Jenny appeared and was panicing about history. Which i really didn't need coz she was the same last year and somehow she managed to pull off 4 A's with very little work from where i was standing. One of THOSE people. And she was panicing and saying "oh my god i don't know any history!" and frankly i just didn't need that at that moment coz - obviously - it was just not a good time or a good day or anything. And i was sitting with Gemma and Jenny sat down with us which was odd coz she... doesn't like Gemma like at all anymore. But never mind. So i kinda just said "look sorry but i have very little sympathy for you rite now ok. I'm having THE worst day and it can only get worse from here on in".
And i kept reaching for my revision notes. But we just kept talking about how badly revision was going and suddenly this happened :
Jenny : Itz like I've just had other stuff on my mind completely distracting me
Me : yeah I know what you mean.
Jenny : No.. i don’t know. Just... I've done something really stupid.
Me : Believe me can't be as stupid as me.
And then all possibility of me doing any last minute read through of my notes went completely out the window. And i could just see Gemma's ears prick up. In that way that they do.... like a cat when u open a tin of food.... or a meercat when he hears a predator. Just suddenly the conversation gets interesting and you can see her drinking it all in and logging it into her brain like.... i don’t know some electronic record of the conversation. A conversation shez not even part of. And I didn't want to have this conversation in front of Gemma.. yet somehow the flood gates were open and you can't stop the conversation there, it has to run itz course.
But I'm not a bitch (all the time) so I'm not going to post Jenny's secrets on the internet even when i know not many ppl will read this. So I’m not going to go into the conversation. needless to say, it brought up stuff that i did not want tin the foreground of my memory when i was walking into an exam, and left me feeling sufficiently emotionally drained that i just couldn't concentrate. And i still hadn't looked at my notes. And Gemma knows every word which is not good coz that means sure enough Rachel will know most of it by the time the ball is and thatz just a disaster waiting to happen because itz another reason for Rachel to look at me like i'm common as muck. great.
So went to the exam. Found Maggie, went to find out what we were doing with our bags while were in segregation - obviously couldn't put with every1 else’s or would see them when go and get them and they can tell us the answers. Gave in my phone to invidulator bloke and he gave me a card saying where to collect it from after my exams. Then went to find my seat.
So sitting waiting for the exam to start I'm feeling ...... not really in the mood to sit 2 maths papers to be honest. But i know i can't change the inevitable and i have to do the exams then and there. So i sit there, take a few deep breaths and focus on pushing everything to the back of my mind and retrieving all my maths knowledge from wherever it disappeared too. Unfortunately what with my lungs being rubbish at the moment "a few deep breaths" lead to a coughing fit. which was kinda not what I was hoping for.
So then the exam started.
FP2
Well. I opened the paper and was confronted not with the easy style question I am used to having to answer at the beginning of a maths paper, but by a question that made me think "what?". It wasn't that it was.... difficult.... it was just..... obscure. Like I've done all the practice papers for FP2 and I’d not come across a question like it. Yes it was part of the syllabus it was just asking you to do something that.... was a bit weird. It just threw me off really, not knowing how to do the first question. But i struggled through it and i go an answer.... maybe not the right answer but it got something down. I mean I'm kinda lucky, the way we've done the course is that we've done 4 modules last year, 4 in January and 5 this time. But i only need 12 modules in my maths A levels (6 for single and 6 for further) So i basically have a throw away module. Now I thought i'd done quite well in the other ones i'd done before then, S2 M2 and FP4. Yes they were hard and no i didn't answer all the questions, but I've already got some good marks behind me so i don't need these marks to be perfect to still get a good grade. I mean I thought that in all 3 of those that they had asked some pretty obscure questions, so i was worried that this would be the case with FP2. So i wasn't surprised as such that they did ask weird questions, it just seemed to throw me off that i was struggling.
So i kept going through the paper hoping that i'd find questions that were less.... weird. So I continued, and the next few questions were bearable. Until I hit question 5. Now there were 7 questions, and I'd already used 50mins doing questions 1 to 4 which are meant to be more easy than the others. So I was starting to get paranoid. There’s only been 1 maths exam where i didn't have time to attempt the last question and that was FP4. Luckily i was confident in my answers for the rest of it so i'm not too worried that i lost 7 marks just by not attempting the last 3 parts of the last question.
Anyway so I kept going but question 5 was proof by induction. But it was "prove by induction that f(n) is always divisible by 8.” And i can remember doing one where we had to work out that it was divisibly by 7 and i can remember not knowing how Mr Thomas proved it so as soon as i read the question my heart just.... hit rock bottom so to speak. It was a 10 mark question and i had no clue what to do. Obviously there is procedure with proof by induction, so i did the first stage (proving that f(1) is divisible by 8) which might have got me a couple of the marks just from plugging numbers into the expression, but the rest of the question kinda fell apart and i didn’t wanna waste anymore time. So i moved on.
Next question was Hyperbolics predictably. which was.... shaky to say the least. it was a show that and i couldn't get it out but i was really running low on time so i left it. I got the second show that out though (using the first one lol) and the second one was worth more marks so i think thatz more important.
The last question was just impossible. It was on roots of unity and De Moivre (cosx+isinx)n = (cosnx+isinnx) which i can generally do - i got 20 out of 20 on the review sheet when we learnt it and i'd done so much revision for it coz it was certain to come up. But the questions were so weird that I just did not see how to approach them. And it was a 5 part question, and i did the first part, and sum of the second part. but then i just ran out of time, not that it mattered... if i had had enough time i still wouldn’t have been able to do the questions..... but that left like 9 marks of questions at the end that I hadn't answered. So it was a bit of a disastrous paper really.... I counted and "unanswered questions" left me lacking about 17 marks... and thatz not even counting the mistakes i'm sure i must have made. So i'm just lucky that i have a throw away module really.... just meant that i had to do well on FP3.
FP3
So it was with great relief that i opened the final ever maths exam i have to take (assuming i don't do optional maths modules in my first year at Bristol) It was better than FP2 thank god. I only had 7 marks of questions left unanswered... and most of those were on limits, a topic i haven't really comprehended properly since day 1. Improper integrals are just not my cup of tea. It was weird that on a paper with so much of a bias of topics on differential equations (2 thirds of the module is differential equations, first and second order) there were only 2 out of 7 questions on differential equations.... 2 were on polar co-ordinates, one was on surface area of revolution and 2 were on limits. It was a bit weird coz I've gotten really good at differential equations coz i put in so much work on them and i know what i'm doing, but i just didn’t get a chance to show off or anything because they asked specific styles of questions. Was rather aggravating. But never mind...... at least it went better than FP2.... and i didn't run out of time at the end.
Anyway after the exams I had to wait in the exam hall with the rest of my clash group until they'd made every1 else leave and they could escort us to the segregation room (which just happened to be mine and Maggie’s old maths room) So we collected our bags and wandered across. And i was looking round the 10 or so other people and trying to recall which of them might have done chemistry as well as history (obviously every1 had done history because that was the reason we were in segregation) but Chemistry was that afternoon as well and i was getting slightly paranoid that I'd be the last person left in the exam hall after history coz every1 else would leave and i'd still have to do my chemistry. When we got to the room i kinda announced "so does anyone here do chemistry as well as history or is that just me? " To which most people were like "err looks like itz just you.” But Michael who is in my maths group and was sitting with me and maggie in segregation said "oh yeah i do chemistry". And i'm so surprised i didn't know this. Because hez in my maths group, and not only that, he sits next to Joe and joins in our conversations sometimes. So why i didn't know what subjects he did i don't know.
Anyway so i got chatting to him about how much it sucks and how we were going to be the only 2 left in the exam hall at the end itz going to be really empty and spooky and all the invidulators will be annoyed and wanting to go home hahaha. But then i had to get sum last minute revision done so i got my notes out and was reading thru them. This went on for like an hour. Then with 10 mins to go before we needed to go over to the exam hall they decided to take us to the loo. So we went off and we kinda thought that they’d make sure the loos were empty b4 letting us go seeing as we weren't meant to talk to anyone. But they didn't. And it was a male invidulator person so he couldn't exactly come in with us. So we went in and shock horror there's Laura standing by the hand dryers. Laura who is in my chemistry class and just did the history exam that morning.
Oh god what a dilemma that faced me with.
Here was the possibility of getting prepared for my exam. For knowing the question before i opened the paper. Ok so i wouldn't be able to look at my notes before it and i wouldn't be able to learn any extra facts before i went in. So it would be kinda pointless really, just knowing you couldn't answer the exam paper before you went in. not always the best idea. but say i did know some of the material, i could have an extra 5 mins to prepare a structure for my answer..... No. Not worth it. So i smiled at Laura and she said "so how did you find it" to which i said "haven't done it yet" and she smiled and said "well good luck then" and went out.
See what a good girl i am *halo*
So then we went over to the exam hall, which was a bit of a palava coz we couldn't look at the seating plan coz thatz where every1 congregates to have a last minute panic about the exams and god forbid we should talk to anyone - like i hadn't already had the chance. itz terrible the organisation of segregation... they didn't even remember to make sure no1 had phones until we'd been out of the exam for like 10mins. Anyone could have found out the questions by then.
So we went into the hall but of course none of us knew where we were seating. and the bloke at the front said “oh I think most of you are in the viewing gallery“. So not wanting to congregate in there me and Maggie decided to wander up to the viewing gallery with Michael and sum other ppl from clash group B and see if we were up there. But as we were walking out the door this lady appeared and said "oh no you can't go on your own your still in isolation“. Like it really mattered 2 minutes before the exam. What on earth could we find out by then? every1 was already in their places coz we'd been taken over at the last possible moment so it wasn't like there were loads of people having already done the history exam hanging around. But needless to say we had to wait for sum1 to escort us up there. Turns out me Maggie Michael and James Arthur Sharpe the 3rd were not actually up in the viewing gallery, though the rest of the group we were with were. shame. so we walked back down. Unfortunately we forgot our escort so we got an ear full when we arrived back at the main exams hall coz we were being "trouble makers" apparently. hahaha.
So eventually found where i was sitting. Near the back with no1 in front of me for 2 seats, no1 next to me for 2 columns and Michael behind me. How that for isolated. I guess was just coz we were the only 2 ppl doing history and then chemistry. Maggie was sitting in front of me but like 3 seats in front, and i guess it was only her and James Arthur Sharpe doing her history paper coz he was in front of her with no1 in front of him for a bit. Was very weird. I've always been surrounded by people in exams before. So exam paper was sitting there on desk looking all taunting and evil and i was in such a panic praying beyond belief that it was a popularity question and not a master weak dictator question. So then exam starts
History Unit 6
Opened the paper, looked at the contents page, found relevant page number - page 16. Scanned the page of Sources before i turn to look at question. Words that jump out at me from sources are "Four Year Plans" and Economics minister". Thought that runs through my head "Oh Shit its on the Economy" I don't know if you know about my issues with the economy. Lets just say... i have them and they are not good. Me and the economy just don’t get on.
Turn the page and read the question.
Itz not on the economy.
Its worse.
Part A is on Goering. As in specifically about one person in Nazi Germany who is NOT Hitler. Are they even allowed to do that? Obviously so.
Part B is “how far do you agree that Hitler was a "weak dictator".” My heart plummets into my casual but stylish pink shoes.
Read through the Sources, rack my brain for information about Goering. Ah yes i did that PowerPoint presentation on him about a month and a half ago... yes i remember... that could be useful. Get some dates, find some relevant source quotes. Answer was beginning to look bearable. Look at clock. - Oh dear I've run over time wise, should be starting reading Sources relevant for question B by now... Ok quick conclusion - lah de dah Goring not so significant coz was just loyal stooge probably not correct but is all i come up with.
And on to question B. And all that can go through my head is "your going to get a D your going to get a D." Itz not that i want a D. Just I've never got more than a D on one of these questions no matter how much work i've put into it. I don't mean to be pessimistic but i can just feel my brain beginning to scramble. But i keep writing. What was that that Dr Kavanagh said? The Hitler Myth... Working towards the Fuhrer. Yes get as many points as possible in. Right. Ok Loyalty. Loyalty. Why was Loyalty so important in the Hitler state... And is it possible that a state depending so much on loyalty cannot be considered stable and in which case Hitler is a weak dictator? But shez always said “Dates people and places” and none of my points have any dates people or places tied to them. How can I put in a date when I’m talking about the Hitler Myth which was more a general propaganda movement than specific policy? It was just terrible. I’ve never been able to get the relavent points into one of those answers.
I just know I've failed that exam. So Invidulator calls pens down and my script is collected.
People who had done the chemistry exam have already left coz it was half an hour shorter than the history, and the rest of the people sitting random exams have now finished so the exam hall is emptying around me. As Maggie left she turned and smiled "good luck" at me. which was sweet. So the chemistry paper is given out. And this is what I've been waiting for. I'd been so paranoid that i'd have no energy left at the end of the day and would nose dive this exam but I really feel the need to make this day at least a partial success. So it starts.
Unifying Concepts
Open the paper. Answer the questions, turn the page, answer the questions. I keep sitting there waiting to hit a question I can't answer, but with a bit of thought I realise that all the questions are bearable. Get to the end of question 5, slightly more challenging but can still handle it. Therez a blank page dividing the next question, which can only mean one thing - the next question is the synoptic question. Take a deep breath and turn the page. But itz not terrible. Yes i got a completely illogical answer for the last bit, but I had time to redo the question and my answer seemed a lot more logical. Overall I was very happy with this paper. I’m so glad. Times Up, I've answered all the questions so I'm not too stressed to see this paper being taken away from me. Finally an exam I'm proud of.
So they whisk it away, and I’m sitting there stunned. Itz over. That was THE Monday of my terrible exams and it’s over. Just like that. I don’t have to worry about it.
Of course now itz just me and Michael in the exam hall and itz 10 past 5. TEN PAST SODDING FIVE. Latest I’ve ever stayed at Hills Road. EVER. The invidulators are packing up and talking and I walk to the front to collect my bag and I don’t know what it is but somehow it doesn’t seem necessary to be silent in the exam hall when there are only 4 people in there and no1 is writing a paper.
Then I think, rite I have these maths books to give back, and the library is always open till like 6 on a college day.
So I wandered up to the library.
And guess what.
After dragging 6 Maths books into college - thatz FP2, FP3, P3, P4, P5 and 6 AND FP1, the library was CLOSED.
I couldn’t return my sodding books.
I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo angry.
I’d brought them all the way into college and I just had to take them home again.
Then had to go retrieve my phone from the exams office - in a bad mood and dragging 6 HEAVY MATHS BOOKS WITH ME -, and who should I bump into on the way there but my tutor Mr Wilkins who just happened to be grabbing sum stuff from his pigeon hole (lower 6th went back on Monday so tutors officially have work to do again lol.). And I really didn’t wanna do the whole examination post mortem with him so I made out I was about to miss my train and hurried off lol. Got my phone back wooooo and left college. At quarter to 6. Latest I’ve ever stayed at hills road in my life ever before.
Rest of day was pretty uneventful thankfully. Came home, complained at mother bout library being closed, told her exams had gone “fine fine completely fine” then fell asleep at like 8:30 coz was just the most knackering day I’ve ever had.
Ok that’ll do for now I suppose.
TTYL my lovelies xxx