the long overdue post

Apr 17, 2005 15:17


this was taken directly from my paper journal: 03 April, 2005 Sunday; Lot has happened :-) mostly good stuff. I had been emailing this guy on Okcupid back and forth for about 3 weeks and was already getting infatuated without even meeting him! He reminds me of both Jeff and Charlie, what a perfect combo, my favorite lovers in one. its funny because he is such a hippy (at least in his appearence) he would blend in so easily at Evergreen. He reminds me of Jeff because he is smart, he has a PhD in Physics (yes he's 28) and he plays go. he reminds me of Charlie because he's quiet and has long hair and a reddish beard. so yeah we met on sunday which was right before i went down to the south island. we met at the Esplanade park on easter sunday so the park was filled with kids and parents. we walked around for like 3 hours and he ended up walking me back to my place with me. i invited him to come to this dinner some friends were having, so we hung out with my friends till like 9pm or later. Shan dropped by whom i had recently gotten involved with (he's 18) Shan offered to drive me home and william came along. I think shan wanted to hang out but william insisted he come home with me and walk home from there. so i said goodbye to shan and talked to william outside for a few minutes. gave him a hug and went to sleep because i had to get up at 3am to start my journey to the south island.

i couldn't sleep very well so i got up at 2am and made spagetti and got ready to go. headed down to the school early to check my email and met everyone that was going; Maria (my best friend here, from Romania), David (a kiwi or New Zealander for those who dont know the slang), Rudolpho (originally from brazil, now living in NZ), Bernhard (a german and another one of my good friends), we all caught a taxi and met up with Mats (from sweden) at the bus station. took the bus down to wellington, 2 hr ride. took the ferry to picton another 2 hour ride. once in picton we began organizing everything, by the time we got on the boat that would take us to the beggining of the track it was 1:30pm. So another hour on a boat (which was really fun) then we began out 2 hour hike to the first campsite. i was carrying a pack that weighed at least 25 pds. the hike wasnt to awful and was very beautiful, at 4:30 we reached the campsite, set up tents and fixed dinner. (the day had been perfect weather too!)

we began the next day a little late at 10am and we had a long day ahead of us doing a 2 day hike in 1 day and took almost 9 hours by 5 or 6pm i was actually crying from the pain in my feet. Bernhard carried my pack for the last hour, it didnt help the pain much but i made it. it also stated raining about 2 hours before we reached the campsite. so we were all wet, we almost got a room at a backpackers but we were to late and the rooms were all taken. so we set up tents in the pouring rain and almost dark. luckily for us the campsite had a cement building fro the toilets. se we hung out in there and made dinner in the bathrooms. l uckily for us the tents didnt leak. iw as so sore that i could barely move. in the morning, Rudolpho was ready to go home and a few others were considering it. it had poured rain all night and was sill raining. i actually wanted to keep going even thought another 8 hour day was pretty daughnting. but by the time we were ready to go adn walked rudolpho to were the ferry was picking up, it was really to late to keep going. it was a good thing we didnt go because we learned later that the trail was really dangerous because of teh mud. imagine a big mud hill, it would take forever to get up because you'd slip so often. i only fell twice during the 2 days we hiked, i thought that was pretty good. the ferry wasnt coming for about 4 hours so we sat in the lobby, the boys played risk, i check my email and we all ate a bunch of food. a couple people, especially maria, were bummed out about having to quit so early, but we had a lot of fun at the backpackers in picton.

oh i forgot to mention Michael, a friend of Bernhard, who came along with us. I liked him, anyway Bern and Michael and i hung out till late being silly and telling stories. we all got up at 7am. Everyone except me was going down to christchurch. Michael had a car and 3 people were going with him, david and mats had to catch the bus and meet up with them there. so they left, i said goodbye to everyone and figured out that the ferrys were booked full thought the next 2 days because the weather was so nasty that a couple of them had been cancelled. my only other option was to fly. now that was an adventure!

the plane wasnt taking off till 1pm and they were going to pick me up at 12:15 to take me to the airport so i had 4 hours to kill. i meandered around fro awhile, picton is quite small and boring, ate lunch at subway, made conversation with someone who was waiting for the train. the shuttle was a little late. it took me and 6 others to a tiny airport to be weighed. they had to weigh us and the baggage, because the plane was so small it had a strict weight limit. some people had to leave baggage behind. eventually we left there and had to drive another 25 minutes to the airport we were leaving from. by the time we actually too off in the plane it was 2pm so it was quite late. i was a little worried because i had to catch a bus at 3:30 and the airport isnt very clost to the bus station. the plane got in at 2:30 i had to run to catch the shuttle bus, luckily the lady i sat with in the earlier shuttle had caught the same shuttle bus with me so she helped me get off at the right stop. I got a little bit lost finding the bus because its inside the railway station. i finally made it with just enought time to get over the airsickness i had gotten from the plane ride. The plane had 14 seats (you could sit next to the pilot) and was a bumpy ride, so it was fun but made me quite ill. I didnt throw up or anything though.

so another 2 hours on the bus and i was finally back in palmerston north. decided i'd rather walk home than wait an hour for the bus. so i walked 40 minutes home with my pack, which only weighed 20 pds by then because we had eaten some of the food. :-) so i arrived home a day earlier than planned on thursday.

friday was a good day, i went shopping and bough lots of stuff, including groceries since i didnt have anything to eat at home. i got home from town at like 3pm ate food and took a nap. around 6pm i got out of bed, oh wait i forgot to say that thursday night i called william and talked to him for 2 horus adn we made plans to hang out friday night after 7pm. so anyway shan called around 6pm and asked if i wanted to go out and i had to tell him no cause i was hanging out with william. i didnt leave to goto williams until 6:45pm it took 45 minutes to walk there but i made it :-) so we hung out and talked his friend doug stopped by, after doug left we watched a movie, bad movie, eventually we got physical, seems inevitable with me, but i actually like him so i didnt want to have sex with him yet. i did end up sleeping over and we hung out till 4 in the afternoon. unfortunatly he has to write a reasearch proposal this weekend so i probably wont get to hang out with him till next weekend.

sooooo that was my journal entry from april third, we got really involved but i kept it open (stupid me!) so he decided he wanted to see if maybe a long term relationship was going to happen with this other girl emma, so we became 'just friends' this is where we are now, the last week we were together i had decided not to see anyone else. all of this has made me realize that when i approach a relationship openly like i do, it makes the other person see me as a sexual friend, not someone they fall in love with and want to be with. to me i had thought the natural progression was friends, lovers, then serious relationships. but i've decided to only do committed relationship from here on out, (although the occasional fling is alright) i'm not even close to being over william but even if things dont work out with emma i'm not going to start seeing him agian unless he's willing to see me as a girlfriend, not a sexual friendship.

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