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[psychogranny]

How can you love somebody so much, and can't stand them at the same time?

I see my doc tomorrow. Good timing.

Comments

[justpapabear]

That's totally cryptic.

[psychogranny]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be. I actually meant what I said. I love Naomi to death. But read Chelsea's reply. I honestly don't know my own daughter. I never have, and I never will. It breaks my heart. I don't really want to say what's happening now. It would sound like a broken record, anyway.

As far as the statement about the doctor, I seriously am beginning to have deep depression problems, not just temporary downs, or getting a little teary. I need a major change, soon. My appointment today was cancelled, cuz he was sick, apparently.

[justpapabear]

When you are both ill (for lack of a better word) it makes it hard for you to understand each other. I know you love Naomi like I love my daughter, but knowing what makes them tick is an entirely different story. Maybe some day you will, don't give up hope, God has a way of clearing things up.

I know what you mean about the depression too. Mine has come in waves, deeper and longer, and I can't really figure out why. I hope this can be worked out in therapy, I really don't want more medications. Or different ones for that matter.

In my prayers.

[psychogranny]

Thank you, thank you for understanding. That brought tears to my eyes. It's so hard not to give up, though, when it's like they knowingly keep walking back to the fire that burned them.

[vitreousbat]

More meds won't make her any easier to stand.

I had a dream about her/Adia last night. We kidnapped(?) Adia and she was not dealing well with the adjustment of living with us. It was a really strange dream in that I am not sure if we kidnapped Adia or if Na gave her up willingly and the details of the dream were more vague than normal. (Does that make any sense?)

I love you!

So is it next month or this month? When I talked to you last you said next month and the next day was the 1st so what is it?

Love you!!!!

Love, me =)

[psychogranny]

Your dream makes total sense. And I think Adia would have trouble with adjustment anywhere, at this point. The poor little thing's been through so much. You know, if that ever really did happen, you'd definitely have your hands full.

I know more meds will never change Naomi.The statement about the doctor was actually just what it said. I'm not talking just about dealing with her. I'm getting like I was on the phone everyday now. It's not just a stress thing. That certainly is a contributing factor, though. =/

I want it to be this month (July). But I've gotta see what happens after I pay my bills. I'm paying most of the electricbill ($122), plus cable, my phone, tithe, internet, and .Mac is taking a hundred bucks out this month, too. So I'm going to be SUPER broke. I really, really want to, though. If I can't this month, I'll probably have to wait till September.

Love you, too!!! {{{{{{{{{Chelse}}}}}}}}}

[psychogranny]

PS...Are the turtles from the zoo?

[elvenforever]

I think I can guess in one guess who THAT is!

Good luck with your doc!

[psychogranny]

Yeah, that's not too hard, huh?

Thanks. I never got to see him. They called that morning and cancelled cuz he was sick. They said they're going to try and get me in ASAP.

[elvenforever]

Sounds like a plan!

*hugs*