things suck
so this weekend was pretty great.
until....
around 3:00pm
we were about 52 miles outside of lexington when my mom calls me.
she said that i should come to her house in paris cause my grandmother wasnt well
she wasnt recognizing anyone
and she was in a lot of pain.
so this really screwed with my head
we pulled over and tricia started driving
we got to my moms house and there were tons of people there
everytime i would try to go visit granny 30 people were in there
i thought there shouldnt be so many people in the room with her
tricia and i hung out for a while and talked to people
then i finally went in.
seeing her laying there not knowing what was going on and not know who was in the room was one of the worst things ever. her body would jerk like she was coughing and she would say random things.
my cousin dorris was sitting by the bed and said:
D- "Matthews here to see you emma"
G- "Oh, Hey"
M- "Hey Granny, how ya doin"
G- "ok"
M- "i love you!"
G- "i love you too"
M- "you had better get better for me"
G- "ok"
and then i had to leave the room, i couldnt take anymore. seeing her like that was scary. so i pulled tricia upstairs to my old room and cried a lot. we talked about things. and then our cell phone rings.
my friend derek tells me that our friend Charles Lincoln died about 3 days ago.
he had an asthma attack that cause siezures(sp?) and that put him in the hospital.
four days later they thought he was getting better until he had another attack
his lungs filled with fluid and he died.
he also informed me that the visitation was yesterday.
i told tricia that night that yesterday was going to be really bad...i just had a feeling that it was.
yesterday:
i went to work
i tried to go to the visitation but they had moved it and i couldnt find the other place.
i went to best buy and bought the both new and old versions of tcm.
went back to work.
got off
hung out with tricia
went to Miyako for sushi
came home
talked to tricia until she fell asleep
heard the phone ringing at 10:11pm
caller id said "steven cell" thats my stepdads number
i knew something was wrong
i answered and my mom was crying.
she told me that my grandmother had just died and that they were waiting for the paramedics to arrive.
i started crying and accidentally woke tricia up.
it was so...
i cant even describe how i felt...feel
tricia was in the bedroom still as i walked toward the room
i got to the door and couldnt stand anymore, it was like my legs just gave up
i fell to the ground and started crying
she came over, held me, talk to me, calmed me down and kissed my head a lot
we cuddled up on the sofa and started watching "Pirates of the Caribbean"
she fell asleep, but woke up soon cause her arm was going numb
so we decided to go to the bedroom, but first prince Xanax made his way down my throat to help me sleep
tricia said it made me mega cuddly
today:
im doing better
tricia and i listened to the records that i had bought my grandmother for xmas a couple years back and they were playing on the record player i had bought her to accompany them.
i keep having the flashes in my mind
they are sudden images of what my mind thinks my grandmother looked like when she died.
yesterday they were of her in her bed at home
today they were of her in the morgue
its really creepy and i dont like it
but i cant stop them.
man, this sucks
that helped a lot
well im gonna go finish my chips and salsa and try to sleep a little
im gonna get you when youre all alone
maybe one night while your walking home
Im gonna wrap my arms around your waiste
and squeeze you tight while i smash in your face
cause im gonna love,love love you to death
im gonna love , love love you to death
im gonna squeeze out your last breath
im gonna looooovvve ya to death
until....
around 3:00pm
we were about 52 miles outside of lexington when my mom calls me.
she said that i should come to her house in paris cause my grandmother wasnt well
she wasnt recognizing anyone
and she was in a lot of pain.
so this really screwed with my head
we pulled over and tricia started driving
we got to my moms house and there were tons of people there
everytime i would try to go visit granny 30 people were in there
i thought there shouldnt be so many people in the room with her
tricia and i hung out for a while and talked to people
then i finally went in.
seeing her laying there not knowing what was going on and not know who was in the room was one of the worst things ever. her body would jerk like she was coughing and she would say random things.
my cousin dorris was sitting by the bed and said:
D- "Matthews here to see you emma"
G- "Oh, Hey"
M- "Hey Granny, how ya doin"
G- "ok"
M- "i love you!"
G- "i love you too"
M- "you had better get better for me"
G- "ok"
and then i had to leave the room, i couldnt take anymore. seeing her like that was scary. so i pulled tricia upstairs to my old room and cried a lot. we talked about things. and then our cell phone rings.
my friend derek tells me that our friend Charles Lincoln died about 3 days ago.
he had an asthma attack that cause siezures(sp?) and that put him in the hospital.
four days later they thought he was getting better until he had another attack
his lungs filled with fluid and he died.
he also informed me that the visitation was yesterday.
i told tricia that night that yesterday was going to be really bad...i just had a feeling that it was.
yesterday:
i went to work
i tried to go to the visitation but they had moved it and i couldnt find the other place.
i went to best buy and bought the both new and old versions of tcm.
went back to work.
got off
hung out with tricia
went to Miyako for sushi
came home
talked to tricia until she fell asleep
heard the phone ringing at 10:11pm
caller id said "steven cell" thats my stepdads number
i knew something was wrong
i answered and my mom was crying.
she told me that my grandmother had just died and that they were waiting for the paramedics to arrive.
i started crying and accidentally woke tricia up.
it was so...
i cant even describe how i felt...feel
tricia was in the bedroom still as i walked toward the room
i got to the door and couldnt stand anymore, it was like my legs just gave up
i fell to the ground and started crying
she came over, held me, talk to me, calmed me down and kissed my head a lot
we cuddled up on the sofa and started watching "Pirates of the Caribbean"
she fell asleep, but woke up soon cause her arm was going numb
so we decided to go to the bedroom, but first prince Xanax made his way down my throat to help me sleep
tricia said it made me mega cuddly
today:
im doing better
tricia and i listened to the records that i had bought my grandmother for xmas a couple years back and they were playing on the record player i had bought her to accompany them.
i keep having the flashes in my mind
they are sudden images of what my mind thinks my grandmother looked like when she died.
yesterday they were of her in her bed at home
today they were of her in the morgue
its really creepy and i dont like it
but i cant stop them.
man, this sucks
that helped a lot
well im gonna go finish my chips and salsa and try to sleep a little
im gonna get you when youre all alone
maybe one night while your walking home
Im gonna wrap my arms around your waiste
and squeeze you tight while i smash in your face
cause im gonna love,love love you to death
im gonna love , love love you to death
im gonna squeeze out your last breath
im gonna looooovvve ya to death