well i did it i went shopping for my mum and i didn't buy any food to binge on which i am very proud of because after the night i have had i seriously thought i would i bought a sandwich and two bottles of diet coke (they were on offer) the only other thing i have eaten today is bread and butter and about 4 mouthfuls of baked beans so ultimatly not ( Read more... )

bleh i was looking at www.mydeathspace.com last night and i was reading the suicide pages and i just feel so jealous that they had the guts to do it i can't even seem to be able to do it how many times have i tried loads i'm such a fucking failure ugh i hate myself i really truly hate myself i wish i could be someone else i just don't want to be me

well once again i'm sat here at 8.04am after another sleepness night pondering one of my favourite subjects DEATH. i've become unhealthly obsessed with death. During a moment of pure desperation last night i found myself reading a practical guide to suicide now i'm not 100% sure if i am actually prepared for death or if i'm just looking for a way ( Read more... )

well recently i've been coming to terms with my sexuality i always used to believe i was bi but recently i've realised that i am infact gay i'm really not attracted to men. it felt so amazingly free for me to finally admit that i want a relationship with a woman now thats the easy part finding a woman who wants me is another matter. now i don't ( Read more... )

i'm being such a post whore today but i feel so depressed i'm just sick of everythign i don't want to be here anymore i just want all the shit to end but i guess it won't i feel i am destined to be depressed for the rest of my life which if i had my way wouldn't be very long but yea does anyone ever feel that they were born purely to keep ( Read more... )

this is a poem i wrote its not very good but its how i feel

darkness devours me
like a predator devours its pray
it engolfs me
like fog engolfs land
as it washes in from the sea

i dream of salvation
salvation in the form of eternal rest
the peaceful state in which my problems
are no longer relevant

today i woke up with that familiar dread. the dread of knowing i would have to survive through another day. i feel like i'm ready to give up give up on everything i'm sick of my pathetic existance. i feel like my life is going no where and to me the only solution is death. what scares me the most is the fact that other times when i've been suicidal ( Read more... )

well hi ( Read more... )