On being selfish
Going to be crossposted to wowladies because I am in desperate need of opinions BUT also posted here because this is personal as well. Ha! :)
Sunday - our usual, normal, sometimes interesting raid evening. As usual some people suddenly remembered that they had to do something reallyreally important and couldn't raid, but we managed to get 25 people anyway by using/asking an applicant. Great. Just that obviously our DPS will be lacking. Meh.
Since we did the first Wing and Vali on Thursday, -I- thought we would be doing one of the other wings and then maybe try to do some progress again, but nooo the men in our round of Knights Officers said 'progress > farm'... Yeah, because downing Professor once and Queen once definitely counts them as 'on farm', right...? -.- *growls* Meh. So for some unfathomable reason we even downed Sindra! o.o I don't know why or how, but somehow, somewhere, during one of the tries, every single member in our raid actually concentrated and made it happen. Nothing against these kids, but usually they go with the wrong attitude into these fights - meaning either 'we are going to pwn this so hard, everything is rolfcopterEZmode!' or 'meh, we are going to wipe the whole evening anyway...'
Afterwards we head head for the second wing and down everything inside pretty easily although we did need a few tries for Professor but I do blame that on the fact that one of our dps wanted to that part of the quest for whatsitsname, that epic axe thingie and therefore I had to dps in tankspec&equip and, well, we lost dps in the end. But it worked. Somehow. Okay. On to the third wing. Blood.
THEN I am being informed by one of our officers (lets call him F., Deathknight F.), who coincidentally is also our Maintank, that he is at that part of the very same quest that the other guy is doing as well where he has to dps on Bloodqueen. Uhu. You DO know you are the maintank, right? He said that someone else could tank, he is going to dps! Well... H., the Warrior, has a little bit of Defgear... about 5k GS, nowhere near F.'s gear and especially without those special anti-magic abilities DKs tend to have. He insists on going dps and move son to just order H. to go ahead and tank. I sigh a bit and discuss who is going to MT her since the 2nd Tank takes a lot more (magic) damage than the first. He wants to do 2nd. Hmk, fine. I give him a tankflask and off we go... Wait. Whats that? F. now adds, that not only does he have to be dps, he apparently also has to get bloodmirror at some point AND HE HAS TO BE FUCKING BITTEN SECOND.
So to recap: We downed Queen Lana'thel after many hours of raidtime, everyone did their best, people are still doing a LOT of mistakes, we won't have our usual MT now, we have a few people with us who are not that well-geared today, we have one of our pretty good dps going tank here
I sit there with my mouth hanging open AND now F. wants to take away literally millions of damage from the equation as well?
He said he is good dps. The men agree we should try it.
Uhu. F. then goes on to do 7k dps... as a fucking VAMPIRE. To compare: Our (really good) top dps does 16k as a Vampire/as soon as he was bitten.
We wipe. The 2nd Tank died. I caution him that he should use his CDs generously here, especially since he is taking a lot of damage. F. wants to try again, after all it wasn't his fault! I ask if I may be honest, the men say yes in officer-chat and I tell them that I don't think that we can afford swapping out one of our dps (who would not do 16k as a Vampire, but at least 10-11... It just adds up :-( ) against essentially a tank trying to do his best as dps on a Boss that we have NOT on farm.
F.'s comment? 'Well, its not as if I am allowed to practice my dps rotation in raid!' and 'As long as every single person in the raid doesn't do a perfect job I am not to blame anyway :)'
...
Really? Really now? Seriously? So we have to play perfect before you might actually admit to a mistake? And did Blizz patch the practice dummies out of Ogrimmar and I haven't heard about it yet? ARGH!
One of the other officers, Y., sends me a tell that we are going to try it again with F. as dps, just so he won't whine about it for the next hour. An hour left to raid... I sigh, drink my last flask for today and wonder why I am allowing F. to do this. Maybe I am an NPC after all? We wipe. Again. And again. And again. Twice because the 2nd Tank died, twice because F. got mindcontrolled (meaning he didn't manage to bite anyone, the scrub) and a few other times because of the normal stupid mistakes that, well, happen if the raid isn't into it anymore. The concentration as well as motivation from the nice kills today was gone.
'Hey, how about we add half an hour to raid time today? We can down her!' F. offered. Y. and I said 'Well, let's do one last try with you tanking again, see how that goes.' Remember: F. could still have done the quest next, week, or, hell, the week after. But no, he INSISTED on doing it as dps again. So we just wiped an HOUR with you making everyone work just that little bit harder for your own fucking sake, and now you want us to wipe another half an hour for you? F. went on to start a ready check - everyone not willing to continue should click no.
I did. Y. waited until the check was over without clicking anything to signal that he would go either way. Unfortunately the rest of the raid clicked yes as they, obviously, couldn't read what was going on in officer chat.
Without even ASKING me whether or not I would consider continuing under these circumstances, F. announced that we were going ahead and try again for a bit. Um, excuse me? Did you not see me click no? Of course he did, but he knows I will do what the majority of the raid decides. I fume a bit. Y. asks again if F. will tank now... He says no. Apparently we both explode in unison and Y. just writes 'okay, bye then' into the officer chat. I tell them as well that I am not going to go then and with one Tank and one Holypriest out of the equation, I announce in Teamspeak that we are not going to extend the raid time after all - the reason being fighting in officer chat. Yes, me and my big mouth - I thought they deserved the truth as to why they were being jerked around like idiots.
Immediately afterwards I went to our own officer channel and waited to see whether someone else would dare to come in after that or not. I was still fuming. F. was the first one to join, the rest of the men trickled in after that. Y. was the only one missing... Apparently he couldn't talk or he would scream, or so he told me in a short tell. I wrote back that I could understand him - I know he is the type who needs to cool off for a night and can not immediately confront a situation like that... still didn't mean I had to like the odds now apparently being me against 3 other guys... With no backup. Okay. Deep breath.
F. starts that he doesn't understand what the problem is. Really? Really?!? I took an audible, deep breath again and said that I would rather not say anything right now and keep my opinion to myself or it might get a bit hairy... But that I disagreed with him, obviously. 2 officers remained silent. A., the last one, mentioned that he would keep his opinion to himself as well but that for him its more of a principle thing... The other two still remained silent... They are bit... well they don't have strong opinions, usually. Sorry :)
And thats it. I entered some dkp, added some people to the guild, updated another persons rank in said guild and switched to my new character on an US realm. (mini-yay :) )
This is not the first time that F. has done something like this. In one of our optional 10mans, for example, one of our healers had not read the strategy for Lichking. Admittedly a problem, but one that is easily fixed. F. said he would be afk until the healer had read the strategy. Okay. Healer is back with the strategy memorized, we do a ready check, want to start... F. doesn't react. Maybe he is afk now somewhere and didn't stay at the computer? Hm. We wait for a good 5 minutes, then tell one of our Offtanks to change spec from dps and tank for a try or so, after all we will probably wipe anyway (this was during the first night of 10man Lichking attempts). So we are starting the event, and suddenly F. goes in Teamspeak 'Oh, so you're starting?' We got excited, told him to get into position and our offtank to respec really quickly before the whole speech was over and we would be in fight. Offtank respecs and F.... just sits there. wth? We call his name on Teamspeak, yell even a bit as time grows shorter... Eventually I call out to our offtank to try and respec AGAIN, but it was too late. We wipe in a horribly fast manner. And what did F. reply when I and Y. (who was also there, incidentally :) ) asked him why he didn't react to our calls for help, that we were starting and all that? 'Well, the healer didn't tell ME that he had the strat memorized and I said I would be afk until he told ME.'
...
And yes, the healer did say in Teamspeak that he had read the start and that we could start now. We continued to talk about a specific point here or there during the time we waited for F. to return. It was -clear- that the healer knew the start now as best as he could without actually doing the fight...
It made me... so mad.
So... yeah, recently F. has been doing something like that once in a month or so. Not always that severe, but noticable to those who pay attention, namely mostly me and Y. to be honest... at least afaik. It seems to me as if we're going to loose him as soon as either LK is down or maybe even until he has his epic axe - that he won't use as a tank anyway, just fyi.
I fear that I will have to be the one to break the silence in the officer section of the forum... I don't think talking in Teamspeak will be possible, Y. won't want that. The question is, how do I do that? Even though we just recruited a dualspec druid into our guild who enjoys tanking, we can't exactly afford to loose our Maintank, but I don't want him to just go on like that. We are raiding again TODAY and therefore Bloodqueen is back... I don't know what to do. My emotional side wants to outright refuse to raid if he goes dps on that fight, but my rational side... well, I can't let 23 people down because of one asshole that uses us as NPCs (I just like this anology... it fits, doesn't it?) to finish his quest.
I am not known for my diplomacy skills. Either I am honest or I am silent. And once I am allowed to be honest, I will be so in an usually brutally manner. I won't flame and I will be polite, but I will tell you the facts and how I feel about it... And yes, I am also known for incredibly long walls of texts -.-
TL;DR: Officer&MT slowly started to and now continues to not include other officers in his decisions and use the raid as his NPCs/minions to get his epic weapons, other loot and the likes. He makes NO mistakes, its always the other people around him (even with facts/data presented to him). Now he wants to go dps on an encounter not on farm and put slightly underequipped offtank into his place so he can continue a quest.
Tonight we raid the same encounter (Queen) again and I don't know if I can put up with it.
Should I let him? Speak up? Shut up and take it? Lighten up? Who is the real selfish person here...? What would you do?
Sunday - our usual, normal, sometimes interesting raid evening. As usual some people suddenly remembered that they had to do something reallyreally important and couldn't raid, but we managed to get 25 people anyway by using/asking an applicant. Great. Just that obviously our DPS will be lacking. Meh.
Since we did the first Wing and Vali on Thursday, -I- thought we would be doing one of the other wings and then maybe try to do some progress again, but nooo the men in our round of Knights Officers said 'progress > farm'... Yeah, because downing Professor once and Queen once definitely counts them as 'on farm', right...? -.- *growls* Meh. So for some unfathomable reason we even downed Sindra! o.o I don't know why or how, but somehow, somewhere, during one of the tries, every single member in our raid actually concentrated and made it happen. Nothing against these kids, but usually they go with the wrong attitude into these fights - meaning either 'we are going to pwn this so hard, everything is rolfcopterEZmode!' or 'meh, we are going to wipe the whole evening anyway...'
Afterwards we head head for the second wing and down everything inside pretty easily although we did need a few tries for Professor but I do blame that on the fact that one of our dps wanted to that part of the quest for whatsitsname, that epic axe thingie and therefore I had to dps in tankspec&equip and, well, we lost dps in the end. But it worked. Somehow. Okay. On to the third wing. Blood.
THEN I am being informed by one of our officers (lets call him F., Deathknight F.), who coincidentally is also our Maintank, that he is at that part of the very same quest that the other guy is doing as well where he has to dps on Bloodqueen. Uhu. You DO know you are the maintank, right? He said that someone else could tank, he is going to dps! Well... H., the Warrior, has a little bit of Defgear... about 5k GS, nowhere near F.'s gear and especially without those special anti-magic abilities DKs tend to have. He insists on going dps and move son to just order H. to go ahead and tank. I sigh a bit and discuss who is going to MT her since the 2nd Tank takes a lot more (magic) damage than the first. He wants to do 2nd. Hmk, fine. I give him a tankflask and off we go... Wait. Whats that? F. now adds, that not only does he have to be dps, he apparently also has to get bloodmirror at some point AND HE HAS TO BE FUCKING BITTEN SECOND.
So to recap: We downed Queen Lana'thel after many hours of raidtime, everyone did their best, people are still doing a LOT of mistakes, we won't have our usual MT now, we have a few people with us who are not that well-geared today, we have one of our pretty good dps going tank here
I sit there with my mouth hanging open AND now F. wants to take away literally millions of damage from the equation as well?
He said he is good dps. The men agree we should try it.
Uhu. F. then goes on to do 7k dps... as a fucking VAMPIRE. To compare: Our (really good) top dps does 16k as a Vampire/as soon as he was bitten.
We wipe. The 2nd Tank died. I caution him that he should use his CDs generously here, especially since he is taking a lot of damage. F. wants to try again, after all it wasn't his fault! I ask if I may be honest, the men say yes in officer-chat and I tell them that I don't think that we can afford swapping out one of our dps (who would not do 16k as a Vampire, but at least 10-11... It just adds up :-( ) against essentially a tank trying to do his best as dps on a Boss that we have NOT on farm.
F.'s comment? 'Well, its not as if I am allowed to practice my dps rotation in raid!' and 'As long as every single person in the raid doesn't do a perfect job I am not to blame anyway :)'
...
Really? Really now? Seriously? So we have to play perfect before you might actually admit to a mistake? And did Blizz patch the practice dummies out of Ogrimmar and I haven't heard about it yet? ARGH!
One of the other officers, Y., sends me a tell that we are going to try it again with F. as dps, just so he won't whine about it for the next hour. An hour left to raid... I sigh, drink my last flask for today and wonder why I am allowing F. to do this. Maybe I am an NPC after all? We wipe. Again. And again. And again. Twice because the 2nd Tank died, twice because F. got mindcontrolled (meaning he didn't manage to bite anyone, the scrub) and a few other times because of the normal stupid mistakes that, well, happen if the raid isn't into it anymore. The concentration as well as motivation from the nice kills today was gone.
'Hey, how about we add half an hour to raid time today? We can down her!' F. offered. Y. and I said 'Well, let's do one last try with you tanking again, see how that goes.' Remember: F. could still have done the quest next, week, or, hell, the week after. But no, he INSISTED on doing it as dps again. So we just wiped an HOUR with you making everyone work just that little bit harder for your own fucking sake, and now you want us to wipe another half an hour for you? F. went on to start a ready check - everyone not willing to continue should click no.
I did. Y. waited until the check was over without clicking anything to signal that he would go either way. Unfortunately the rest of the raid clicked yes as they, obviously, couldn't read what was going on in officer chat.
Without even ASKING me whether or not I would consider continuing under these circumstances, F. announced that we were going ahead and try again for a bit. Um, excuse me? Did you not see me click no? Of course he did, but he knows I will do what the majority of the raid decides. I fume a bit. Y. asks again if F. will tank now... He says no. Apparently we both explode in unison and Y. just writes 'okay, bye then' into the officer chat. I tell them as well that I am not going to go then and with one Tank and one Holypriest out of the equation, I announce in Teamspeak that we are not going to extend the raid time after all - the reason being fighting in officer chat. Yes, me and my big mouth - I thought they deserved the truth as to why they were being jerked around like idiots.
Immediately afterwards I went to our own officer channel and waited to see whether someone else would dare to come in after that or not. I was still fuming. F. was the first one to join, the rest of the men trickled in after that. Y. was the only one missing... Apparently he couldn't talk or he would scream, or so he told me in a short tell. I wrote back that I could understand him - I know he is the type who needs to cool off for a night and can not immediately confront a situation like that... still didn't mean I had to like the odds now apparently being me against 3 other guys... With no backup. Okay. Deep breath.
F. starts that he doesn't understand what the problem is. Really? Really?!? I took an audible, deep breath again and said that I would rather not say anything right now and keep my opinion to myself or it might get a bit hairy... But that I disagreed with him, obviously. 2 officers remained silent. A., the last one, mentioned that he would keep his opinion to himself as well but that for him its more of a principle thing... The other two still remained silent... They are bit... well they don't have strong opinions, usually. Sorry :)
And thats it. I entered some dkp, added some people to the guild, updated another persons rank in said guild and switched to my new character on an US realm. (mini-yay :) )
This is not the first time that F. has done something like this. In one of our optional 10mans, for example, one of our healers had not read the strategy for Lichking. Admittedly a problem, but one that is easily fixed. F. said he would be afk until the healer had read the strategy. Okay. Healer is back with the strategy memorized, we do a ready check, want to start... F. doesn't react. Maybe he is afk now somewhere and didn't stay at the computer? Hm. We wait for a good 5 minutes, then tell one of our Offtanks to change spec from dps and tank for a try or so, after all we will probably wipe anyway (this was during the first night of 10man Lichking attempts). So we are starting the event, and suddenly F. goes in Teamspeak 'Oh, so you're starting?' We got excited, told him to get into position and our offtank to respec really quickly before the whole speech was over and we would be in fight. Offtank respecs and F.... just sits there. wth? We call his name on Teamspeak, yell even a bit as time grows shorter... Eventually I call out to our offtank to try and respec AGAIN, but it was too late. We wipe in a horribly fast manner. And what did F. reply when I and Y. (who was also there, incidentally :) ) asked him why he didn't react to our calls for help, that we were starting and all that? 'Well, the healer didn't tell ME that he had the strat memorized and I said I would be afk until he told ME.'
...
And yes, the healer did say in Teamspeak that he had read the start and that we could start now. We continued to talk about a specific point here or there during the time we waited for F. to return. It was -clear- that the healer knew the start now as best as he could without actually doing the fight...
It made me... so mad.
So... yeah, recently F. has been doing something like that once in a month or so. Not always that severe, but noticable to those who pay attention, namely mostly me and Y. to be honest... at least afaik. It seems to me as if we're going to loose him as soon as either LK is down or maybe even until he has his epic axe - that he won't use as a tank anyway, just fyi.
I fear that I will have to be the one to break the silence in the officer section of the forum... I don't think talking in Teamspeak will be possible, Y. won't want that. The question is, how do I do that? Even though we just recruited a dualspec druid into our guild who enjoys tanking, we can't exactly afford to loose our Maintank, but I don't want him to just go on like that. We are raiding again TODAY and therefore Bloodqueen is back... I don't know what to do. My emotional side wants to outright refuse to raid if he goes dps on that fight, but my rational side... well, I can't let 23 people down because of one asshole that uses us as NPCs (I just like this anology... it fits, doesn't it?) to finish his quest.
I am not known for my diplomacy skills. Either I am honest or I am silent. And once I am allowed to be honest, I will be so in an usually brutally manner. I won't flame and I will be polite, but I will tell you the facts and how I feel about it... And yes, I am also known for incredibly long walls of texts -.-
TL;DR: Officer&MT slowly started to and now continues to not include other officers in his decisions and use the raid as his NPCs/minions to get his epic weapons, other loot and the likes. He makes NO mistakes, its always the other people around him (even with facts/data presented to him). Now he wants to go dps on an encounter not on farm and put slightly underequipped offtank into his place so he can continue a quest.
Tonight we raid the same encounter (Queen) again and I don't know if I can put up with it.
Should I let him? Speak up? Shut up and take it? Lighten up? Who is the real selfish person here...? What would you do?