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[puckinyourmom]

Sucks for you guys, mine is hilarious.

Comments

[wrestlingwitch]

So are you going to share with the class or do we actually have to ask you what's on it?

[puckinyourmom]

Don't you people leave your dorms? It says "I'm with stupid" with an arrow at my dick.

[wrestlingwitch]

Because clearly the first thing I look for when I step out of my dorm is you.

[inkblots for a moment]

Somehow I'm not shocked.

[puckinyourmom]

You don't have to lie, Lauren.

[wrestlingwitch]

I'm not entirely sure what I could be lying about here.

[puckinyourmom]

Wanting to check me out, obviously.

[wrestlingwitch]

Yeah, this over here? This is me being not interested in the least.

[puckinyourmom]

I don't believe you, that would be accessory to some kind of crime.

[wrestlingwitch]

I hate to shatter your delusions, but you are, in fact, not all that and a bag of chips.

[puckinyourmom]

Two bags.

[wrestlingwitch]

You could have an entire truck of chips, and it wouldn't even be close.

Hence my general disinterest.

[puckinyourmom]

A truck is way more than a bag, Lauren.

[wrestlingwitch]

I'm aware, thanks.

But since you don't seem to be getting the metaphor, let me put it this way.

I'm not interested. And even if I was, there's no way you'd be even close to being man enough to handle me.

[puckinyourmom]

What does that mean? I would totally be man enough.

[wrestlingwitch]

Not even. First of all, the guy I date will have to be at least close to being as badass as me. Second of all, they'd have to be able to not only keep up with me, but impress me. I don't just settle for anyone. They've got to earn the right.

There isn't a single guy in this school that's yet proven they can do that. So no one in this school is man enough to be worthy of me. Including you.

[puckinyourmom]

I could do all of that, if I wanted to.