Title: Game Night
Rating: G
Words: 2,101
Summary: Taboo brings on a revelation to the Glee club
Disclaimer: Do not own
Notes: Little fic partially inspired by the Ustream video of Josh Sussman, Chris Colfer, Amber Riley, Mark Salling, and Naya Rivera playing Taboo at Naya's apartment back in October. Hilarious!
No one really remembers how it started. It might have been at Rachel’s We-Were-Awesome-and-Kicked-Butt-At-Sectionals-Despite-the-Cheating Party ™. It could have been at Kurt’s Awkward-Attempt-At-Return-to-Normalcy-After-You-Found-Out-That-Your-Girlfriend’s-Baby-Is-Your-Best-Friend’s Party ™ that he threw for Finn with the rest of the Glee club. Or it could have been at Artie’s birthday party.
No one really remembers how it started, but it doesn’t really matter now that the weekly date has been established. It was some sort of Glee club tradition now. Every Saturday, the club got together in the evening for dinner and board games. It was quite possibly the lamest thing Puck could ever do, but he had fun and, dude? He’s a stud. Anything he did was cool.
This particular Saturday they were playing Taboo. It was one of Puck’s personal favorites. He was reining champion, surprisingly, and Puck liked to win. Which is why he hated Trivial Pursuit days (Question: What was James Gilette’s greatest contribution to society? Puck’s answer: He found King Tut’s tomb!) Yeah, Kurt didn’t speak to him for days.
Puck’s eyes shot over to the soprano, who was busy putting out cans of soda and bowls of snacks (“If a drop of Coke touches my carpet, I’m going to use your face to wipe it up”), and he smiled slightly. Of all the perks of having these gatherings, getting closer to Kurt was probably the biggest. The gay teen was one of the coolest people Puck knew. Sure, he was two lipstick cases away from being the male embodiment of Patti LuPone, but he was fun. And there were other parts of him, too. Like, he’s a total grease-monkey. And he could belch the entire alphabet (after many hours of prodding, though). And he totally beat Puck at…yeah, Puck didn’t really want to talk about that.
At first, Puck was horrified to find that Kurt was rapidly becoming the most important person in his life. Who did he call when Finn ignored him in the hallways? Who did he call when he and Finn made up? Who did he discuss the latest Dan Brown book with? Who did he see the latest Dan Brown movie with? Kurt Hummel has seamlessly integrated himself in all aspects of Puck’s life and Puck couldn’t be happier. Not that he’d ever admit it. To anyone. Ever. He’d also never admit to the massive crush he harbored on the small teen. To anyone. Ever.
Puck was startled out of his reverie by a nudge from Mercedes, who was sitting on the floor next to him.
“What? What’s going on?”
Kurt raised an eyebrow, “We’ve been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes, Noah. Are you ready to start?”
Another thing. Every time Kurt used Puck’s given name, serious chills ran up and down Puck’s spine. It was almost a problem. Almost.
“Yeah. Yeah, let’s get this rainbow rolling!”
Finn snickered, “I still can’t believe you named your team the Rainbow Rollers.”
“Oh, shut up! What the hell is the Snicker Pullers, anyway?”
Artie broke up the argument, “Forget the names! Are we here to argue or are we here to kick some Taboo ass?”
The team names were all sorts of ridiculous. The Rainbow Rollers consisted of Kurt, Quinn, Puck, and Artie. The Snicker Pullers were Finn, Tina, Mercedes, and Santana, leaving Mike, Rachel, Brittany, and Matt as the Purple People Eaters. Puck wishes he could say that the names were brought about under the influence of drugs and alcohol, but he can’t. They were all stone cold sober.
And so the game got underway. One round, while Mercedes was giving her team clues and Puck was monitoring her, making sure that she didn’t use any of the restricted words, went something like this.
“So, say you punch someone in the face-“ Puck doubled over, laughing. “Shut up, Puck! Say, you punch someone in the face, you’d get bruises here.”
Finn piped in, “Black-eye. Cheek. Nose.”
“No, no, YOU, the PUNCHER, would get bruises HERE.”
It degenerated from there, as it always did. It was Kurt’s turn to give clues, Mercedes monitoring.
“I would never go on one of these.”
Puck and Artie yelled in unison, “A BLIND DATE.” Mercedes lost it, causing Kurt to bury his face in his hands, trying to stifle his giggles. Rachel called time and Kurt stumbled over the table to his team. He shook his head, “I don’t know why I set myself up like that. The answer was surfboard, by the way."
Puck grinned at him as he took the spot next to him on the floor, “Sorry about that, dude.” Kurt playfully glared at him, but smiled when Puck reached an arm to place around Kurt’s shoulders. They sat contently and watched Matt give his clues.
“I use it to keep my liquids at a temperature.”
Rachel, “Refrigerator!”
Brittany, “Plastic bag!”
This is why Puck loved Taboo. It was hilarious.
“I’m going to work so I put it in THIS.”
Rachel, “Mug!”
Mike, “Plastic bag!”
Kurt buried his face in Puck’s shoulder, laughing himself silly. Puck loved Taboo.
“Skip! Skip! Okay, you’re having breakfast and it has sport’s figures on it!”
Rachel was losing her mind, “What are you saying?”
Finn cracked up, “Are you serious?” The next second, Quinn called time and Finn said, “Wheaties! Duh.”
Matt threw down his card, “And the other one was a thermos! A fucking THERMOS!” His anger was genuine, though, as he burst into laughter afterwards.
Rachel giggled a little, “I haven’t heard the word Thermos since I owned a Barbie one!”
Kurt’s infinite wit struck again, “A week isn’t that long of a time to forget a word, Rachel.” He ducked to avoid the flying pillow the diva launched at him as the rest of the club dissolved into laughter.
The game continued well into the night. At eleven, realizing how late it was, Rachel declared the current one to be the last round, “Alright, the score is, drumroll Finn.”
Finn beat the bongos that Kurt had next to his bed, “The Purple People Eaters are third with 54 points. In second are the Rainbow Rollers with 78 points, trailing the Snicker Pullers by ten points!”
Quinn gasped, “We’ve never lost Taboo! How on God’s green earth did we fall back like that?”
Kurt, ever the calm one, “No worries, darling, we’re the last to go. All we need is eleven and we win.”
Puck looked at him incredulously, “No one has ever gotten eleven in one round, Hummel!”
“There’s always a first time. I thought you, of all people, Noah would understand that.”
Rachel, Quinn, and Artie all cracked up at Kurt’s dig at Puck’s sex life.
Tina handed Kurt the cards, “Your turn Kurt.”
Kurt and Puck locked eyes, “Let’s do this, Beyonce.” Kurt nodded and the timer was set.
“I get thrown in this every Tuesday.”
All three of his teammates responded, “DUMPSTER.”
“Life is this, according to Forrest Gump.”
Artie, “Box of chocolates!”
“Place. Witches. Burn.”
Puck, “Salem!”
“My favorite animal.”
Puck, again, “Penguins!”
“Tom Hanks looks like he’s wearing one in The DaVinci Code.”
The rest of the team didn’t matter anymore; this was between him and Kurt, “A toupee!”
Kurt’s eyes sparkled as he looked at Puck, “My dream date.”
Puck knew this, “Drive-in movie theater!”
Quinn and Artie exchanged looks and grinned.
“I hate these.”
“Vampires!”
Rachel whispered to Tina, “When did this become ‘How much does Puck know about Kurt’?”
The goth shook her head and smiled, “I don’t know, but I like it!”
“I pretend to be one of these at every game!”
Puck was on his feet now, “A Rockette!”
Finn would have laughed if he weren’t so shocked at the evidence laid before him. Puck doesn’t know anything about anybody unless he, no! It couldn’t be!
“I school you at these!”
“Video games! And you do not, Hummel!”
“Yes, I do. The Stereotype I tagged you as on Facebook!”
“Bad-Boy!”
Mercedes yelled, “Five-seconds!”
Kurt sang, “I walk down the street/ I hear people say/ ‘Baby’s so sweet’.”
Puck yelled, “RENT!” a second before Mercedes’ cry of, “TIME!”
Kurt jumped up, “Yes! YES!” His smile almost broke his face. Puck had never seen anything more beautiful.
Rachel got up, “Once again, The Rainbow Rollers WIN!”
No one saw it coming. Puck only saw a whirl of blue coming at him.
Kurt, in all his excitement, launched himself at Puck, legs wrapping around his waist, arms tight around his neck, before leaning his face down to kiss him.
Fireworks flashed behind Puck’s eyeballs as he lowered his lids and returned the kiss with fervor.
Puck was probably biased, but he thought this kiss was the best he’d ever had. He had waited so long for it. Kurt’s lips were soft and tasted like strawberries. Puck loved strawberries. Hands down, favorite fruit that he was allergic to.
Kurt moaned and Puck snapped out of it, pulling his face back. He almost laughed at the whimper Kurt let out in response.
“Uh, guys? Not to interrupt or anything, but Kurt’s dad is right there.”
Puck’s heart stopped at Finn’s comment. His and Kurt’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates before he turned to the stairs, Kurt still attached at his hips.
“Dad.” Tina snickered at the sound; it not being the first time Kurt uttered the monosyllabic word in that way. She wondered which time was worse for Burt. Beyonce and leotard or make-out session? Tough choice.
“Mohawk, mind getting off my son?”
Puck chose not to comment on the fact that Kurt was the one on him. It didn’t seem to be in his best interest.
Kurt leapt off Puck hurriedly, keeping three feet of room between them.
“Dad, we were just, ummm, we were just-“
“Kurt’s on the football team.” It worked for Brittany the last time, so she thought it was applicable now.
Everyone’s head turned to the blonde cheerleader. Burt then looked at his son, expression saying, “Is this chick for real?”
“I thought this was game night.”
“Yeah, we were just-I mean, I was-“
“We were celebrating!” Artie pipes in helpfully.
Quinn nods along, “Yeah, it’s what we do every week.” She turns to Artie and plants a kiss on his lips. Artie’s eyes go wide, but he manages a nod.
“Right. Just, keep the noise down. I can barely hear myself think up there.”
Kurt, relieved that his father was leaving, turned to his friends, offering a shaky smile.
“And Kurt?” He looks back to his father, who is half way up the stairs. “Make sure you bring your boyfriend to dinner tomorrow.”
Kurt gulped and nodded. When his father left, he collapsed to the floor, knees giving out.
“You know what you have to do, now, don’t you Kurt?” Kurt looked up to Tina, who was wearing a mischievous smile. “You have to audition for the role of Puck’s boyfriend.”
In fact, Kurt looking around the room, he found most of his friends grinning. He was starting to see the hilarity of the situation. He outright laughed when Finn said, “I don’t know how much help I can be this time, dude.” Rachel lost it, clutching Tina for support.
“I can help you rehearse, you know, for the audition.” Puck’s smirk was both infuriating and sexy.
“All of you can just eat dirt and die.”
Burt had to come down to tell them to be quiet for the second time that night, as the answering laughter shook the house.