I was diagnosed with clinical depression a long time ago. I was medicated for a short period after that. The period being short because I did not feel like myself while on the medications. I vowed to myself I could handle it without the medications. I Mantra a lot, probably a few dozen times a day. I would think it is more than most. In my head I
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Step 1: Try to break out of the belief that you do not deserve to be helped. You absolutely do. You do so much for so many people, Brian. I know you may not believe me, but if it's worth anything, I absolutely believe you deserved to be helped, both by yourself and anyone else.
I tend to think the same way a lot, that I'm not worthy or deserving of good things; my mother is forever telling me to stop thinking that way. I know it's easier said than done, but I have to try and believe her. I'm a good person, as you are, and we deserve good things, regardless of whatever skeletons we have in our closets or mistakes we've made in the past. You're a great guy, and you deserve all the happiness life has to offer.
Just my two cents.
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