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Finding Purpose
When you're younger you have these big dreams of what it will be like to be "grown up". Frankly the older I get the less grown I feel. I used to think that age meant something more than numbers, not so. Age is just an idea, a socially accepted excuse for actions or inaction. It is seen as a bench mark for so many crippling pressures in life. "If ( Read more... ) -
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Each new season brings on a flood of old emotions that have been bottled up over the years. Moments from past arrangements and love or lust encounters. Spring is the time of Charlie and James. Summer has the faint hint of Chance, Evan, Matt, Vik, and Russo. Fall holds on to Colin deeply and won't shake him. Winter is a whirlwind, holding on to most ( Read more... ) -
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Many people come cruising through our lives without a care in the world about their impact. We pass people on the street and in subways and stores that we never speak to but we observe their encounters with others or we admire or become disgusted with their being all together. In some way or another we are effected without them knowing in the ( Read more... ) -
YouTube
So, I've been thinking about starting a YouTube channel for a while now but my fear of public recordings, which I feel Ive had since childhood sets in with extreme force every time I think about recording myself. I've been meaning to start with a comparison of the two sample subscriptions I have but I sabotage myself every time I go to tape. I'm ( Read more... ) -
The Mountain Is Calling
It had been far too long since I had gone "home." Once you establish yourself in a place and begin to set roots, it's extremely difficult to let it go. The closer I got to the west side of Vermont the more I could feel it. The pull inside started to tighten and all the feelings of home came rushing in. I remembered nights by the campfire, acoustic ( Read more... ) -
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We were like an episode of Sex and the City. You were my man and I was just your girl of the moment. I was the strong headed sex driven Samantha and you were my target. As rigid as my front, I was too afraid to ever admit true feelings. Even still you throw yourself at me. After all this time you are now the one who is throwing yourself at the ( Read more... ) -
Waiting to know
The big "C" it lingers and lurks and sits on the tip of the tongue begging to be released but it hurts the heart to actually speak it's name. It sit dormant in many, just waiting for a change, a shift, a shiver, something to spark it into abundant life. For some it comes slowly,often without warning or much notice. Others it shows itself in an ( Read more... ) -
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It starts deep inside you. The unsettling tingle, the burst of volcanic eruption. It starts slow, like a faint itch, and as the days linger on it becomes unbearable. It's been a year since I've traveled and it's starting to wear on me. My brain keeps searching for familiarity and strangers faces, looking for someone who I haven't seen in or talked ( Read more... ) -
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I think my heart jumps into my throat and tears well up in my eyes every time I think about you. Giving up is always the hardest thing to do when there is nothing to give up on. I just need to say goodbye to you. Look into your empty eyes and feel your cold rigid body strain to press against mine in a forced embrace for one last time. I need to ( Read more... ) -
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This time of year always reminds me of the time we spent together. The first days of meeting you and becoming consumed by every ounce of how wrong you were for me. I loved the way you smelled and how I felt when I was with you. An electric energy would race through my veins and I didn't have a care in the world. The melting snow and the rise of new ( Read more... )