I could be just like you

[punkpandas]

Today was boring and kind of sucked. I was wicked tired and i was totally numb. So gym we played tennis and I totally sucked. I just wanted to colasps. I couldn't feel my legs and I was just blah. Lunch Eric and Dustin weren't there and nothing really happened. I did actually eat somthing. Which I kinda wish I didn't now since I just now gorged

Comments

[anonymous]

okay i have one thing to say on this and the comment you left in zacks journal. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!!!! Why do you constently feel the need to cut. I know how you feel i really do. I mean im a recovoring cutter myself, but please, eric does all of this because he cares for you and wants you to stop. And im saying this for you too. You have a Serious SERIOUS PROBLEM!!!!you need to get serious help. More than i or eric can give you. Please i dont want to see you end up like my friend. You do relize that eventually you will cut yourself to deep and hit a vein and die. Thats right YOU WILL DIE if you keep doing what you are. Sorry i sound so harsh, but its true. I love you way to much to see you do this and torcher yourself. You need help. And i hope that you relize it soon. Before its to late.

[punkpandas]

Ok I kno I have problems and I really don't know why I feel the way i do. I'm trying to figure it out I am. I'm just dealing with alot of shit and I'm trying to get through this. I haven't cut in a week which is really good for me. so obviously i'm still gonna feel urges untill I find something else to do. I am gonna feel shitty for a little while and i'm hoping i'll get over it and it will get better. I know I have people who care about me and I know Eric wants me to stop. So I'm trying. I talk to people all the time. I know I shouldn't of wrote that as a comment but he asked what makes me feel alive so I wrote the truth

[anonymous]

I understand how you feel i do. And im sorry for being harsh. i am. i was just writing and didnt really realize how harsh i really was. Im sorry. Dont hate me. I just hate to see that people with such good hearts and personality do such terrible things like cut and purge and stuff like that. I wasnt trying to be mean. I'm sorry that i came across this way. I just dont want you to hurt yourself to the point of no return. I know how hard it is to stop. Believe me i've been trying for years. Im just sorry that i ranted on you. Sorry. Please dont hate me. I just want to see you okay. An i know it'll take some time, but somehow i know you'll get better and move past this. And eric is a large help, this i know. He helped me too. He's a great friend. And is an amazing help when he's not even trying

[punkpandas]

Thank you alot. And don't be sorry. You told me stuff I already knew and everything you said is true or practically true. what you said helps alot. Like I'm glad you told me I needed to hear it. Your really sweet to say all these thing and I'm really working on getting back on track I haven't cut in 8 days and I'm doing really well. I'm glad to kno you care. And I care about you to even if i'm not totally positive on who this is.
Is this Jackie? And if its not I'd really like to kno. I don't hate you, i'm not mad. I would like to become better friends with you and get to kno you better.

[anonymous]

Yeah its jackie. And its good to know your doing better. Im happy to hear that i really am. Its good. Keep it up. ANd dont think if you do slip ill be dissapointed i wont. I heart you. and i wont be dissappointed as long as your okay.i heart you. oh damn ive been found, i was having fun playing live journal stalker. damn.

[punkpandas]

lol i heart you to! Its okay you can still pretend to be a LJ stalker. i won't tell me who you are. Thanks alot, i'm glad to know that you care and you won't be upset if i slip up. its nice to kno i have people i can turn to and trust. i'll be here for you just like you were here for me.
Do you have an s/n so we can talk on AIM?

[anonymous]

see me having aim is kinda a funny story, i would if my computer wasnt a piece of shit. I do have email though. I'll give it to you tuesday morning.

~Jackie